[WisdomSeeker]

All at once I feel as if I don't have a vocation :ohno: . It's as if the flame that was my vocation has suddenly gone out and I'm not interested in pursuing it anymore. I have removed all my religious items and I have taken out of my bookcase all my religious books, I don't even feel the need to attend Mass. I just feel as everything that is connected to faith, discernment etc needs to be removed from my sight.

Where do I go from here, what do I do? I'm so confused :(

This post has been edited by WisdomSeeker: 19 June 2009 - 06:15 AM

[the lords sheep]

You need to get to a confessor or spiritual director ASAP. Today if possible.
It sounds like temptation to me, and the only way to deal with it is confront it. Don't feel like praying? Pray a rosary. Don't feel like going to Mass, Go and stay after to make a prayer of thanksgiving.
Try to take refuge in the Sacred Heart, today's feast. Most importantly, don't give up!

I'll say a pray for you, my sister in Christ.

God bless.

Lauren

[VeniteAdoremus]

Echo that. Get thee to a church and go NOW. Talk to a priest.

Did you have any special devotions? Love for Our Lady? Go sit with her in church and say the Rosary. Ask her to take care of you. Same goes if you have a favourite Saint. Or go and talk with Our Lord in the Tabernacle - He is also alone in the dark, He'd appreciate the company.

We're praying for you!

By the way, I have had the same thing many times over. I call them my "atheistic burps". They'll pass.

[InHisLove726]

This certainly does sound like a test. It's happened to all of us. I know there are days when I don't want to do anything, like all the energy I had in my vocation was just lost. I worried that I was originally following what I wanted to do, not what God wanted me to do. I felt guilty and consumed with temptations. That was when I dove deeper into the faith. I didn't want to attend Mass so I started going daily. I didn't want to pray, so I joined a prayer group that met after daily Mass in the Chapel. I strove to make my spiritual life stronger, in spite of the inner turmoil I was facing. And you know what? It worked! With daily Mass and prayer, the desire for religious life came back MUCH stronger than before and I was convinced that I still had a vocation. :))

St. Therese went through the same thing! She experienced spiritual darkness and suffered cruel temptations from satan. The enemy wanted her to abandon her vocation (think how many souls this one little prayer warrior saved!) and he tried everything in his power to get her to believe she wasn't called. She even suffered temptations to commit suicide when she was suffering from tuberculosis! :shock: But she continued on, knowing that her suffering was redemptive for souls. And none of it was put to waste, I assure you. Jesus gave her an extraordinary ecstasy before her death and she died peaceful. :saint:

Keep pressing on. If you don't feel like doing something, do it anyway and do it strong! Satan is not pleased that we are serving God, and he wants to do everything in his power to turn us away. God permits these trials because He wants us to be closer to Him. He is still there, waiting for you. Don't turn your back on Him! Run to Him with open arms! I'll keep you in my prayer intentions for today and ask the Sacred Heart to relieve your suffering when the time is right. God bless you! :sign:

[Gemma]

WisdomSeeker, on Jun 19 2009, 08:04 AM, said:

All at once I feel as if I don't have a vocation :ohno: . It's as if the flame that was my vocation has suddenly gone out and I'm not interested in pursuing it anymore. I have removed all my religious items and I have taken out of my bookcase all my religious books, I don't even feel the need to attend Mass. I just feel as everything that is connected to faith, discernment etc needs to be removed from my sight.

Where do I go from here, what do I do? I'm so confused :(

Probably one of three things, or all three:

1. Temptation

2. Dark Night of the Soul

3. You're past the point of needing external stimuli as a means of entering prayer and discernment.

Yes, get to confession or your SD (if you have one) and follow directions given there.

This is the Feast of the Sacred Heart. A dark night of the soul would make perfect sense. He's wanting you to commune with Him in the darkness. Whenever I go through this, I say, "You can't hide, I know you're there." Then I think of St. Therese when she was appointed Novice Mistress. She said she went running to God's shoulder, and would give out instruction to each soul after God gave it to her. I nearly sent the same passage to the pope after he was elected as an encouragement.

HTH.

Blessings,
Gemma

[Luigi]

Ditto all of the above, plus:

FEAR NOT! It happens to everyone. People who have worked & scarificed to become doctors sometimes feel like they don't want to do medicine any more. Same thing for teachers, lawyers, businessfolk, married folks, parents, priests, and religious. It happens to those in formation, and it happens to those in vows.

We all go through phases where our interest seems to wane - keep in mind that they are just phases. If you read lives of saints, you'll see similar episodes in the lives of almost all of them. I admit, though, that it's scarier when we seem to lose interest in our very faith.

[alicemary]

Dont be so hard on yourself. Take a little breather. You might be pushing too hard. Just chill out enjoy some of the summer and pray when you can. Sometimes when we are too intense we just burn out. Find some quiet time, some fun time, and enjoy your family and friends. Above all dont waste your time feel guilty over this.. It is only natural. Trust in the Lord to guide you through the stormy days as well as the sunny ones. All people have doubts, all people have times when they merely need a break.
Alicemary

[DameAgnes]

This is actually a pretty normal development in the life of a Christian. But do pray. I heard a priest once say that when this sort of thing happens, it is a sign that you need to explore OTHER means of prayer and devotion. Meaning, if you've been lighting candles and doing the rosary, try helping out at the soup kitchen instead, or practicing Lectio Divina. That sort of thing.

One of my favorite stories in the gospel is where Jesus invites Peter out onto the water. Peter walks on the water as long as he looks at Jesus, but when he looks down, or begins to doubt, or rely on himself, he sinks.

Keep your eyes on Jesus, even if he seems silent. No matter how deeply you feel dry or alone...he is deeper, still.

[WisdomSeeker]

Thank you all for your help and words of advice. It's just as if a wall has come down and I feel as if I need to step back from everything. I am still keeping in contact by email with the orders that I am interested in but I don't know if I should severe contact with them or keep communicating with them.

[TeresaBenedicta]

I grew up as an atheist, before converting at 18. Because of my background and the circumstances of my conversion, I struggle often with temptations such as these. Through spiritual direction, I have learned how to recognize these temptations as not from myself, but from the evil one who knows so well my history and weakness. The temptations are still difficult to persevere through, but it helps knowing that it's not just me, and that God, whatever his reasoning, has allowed it for me to go through them.

One other thing that my spiritual director has taught me, and it really has stuck with me, is this simple truth: Real prayer begins when you do not want to pray.

When we continue to pray, go to Mass, and give our time to God, even when we don't want to and we feel like we're getting absolutely nothing out of it... well, that's when we know we're doing it out of true love to God. Not for the feelings or the consolations that we receive.

And one last thought for you...

Don't make any decisions when you're in a state like this. So, when you're thinking about your vocation... well, honestly, I wouldn't be thinking about it right now. It's not time to make decisions about it when in intense periods of dryness and/or temptation.

I'll say a prayer for you. I know how difficult this can be. Persevere. And remember: You're not alone. Right now the entire Communion of Saints are behind you, cheering you onward.

[WisdomSeeker]

TeresaBenedicta, on Jun 19 2009, 08:25 PM, said:

I grew up as an atheist, before converting at 18. Because of my background and the circumstances of my conversion, I struggle often with temptations such as these. Through spiritual direction, I have learned how to recognize these temptations as not from myself, but from the evil one who knows so well my history and weakness. The temptations are still difficult to persevere through, but it helps knowing that it's not just me, and that God, whatever his reasoning, has allowed it for me to go through them.

One other thing that my spiritual director has taught me, and it really has stuck with me, is this simple truth: Real prayer begins when you do not want to pray.

When we continue to pray, go to Mass, and give our time to God, even when we don't want to and we feel like we're getting absolutely nothing out of it... well, that's when we know we're doing it out of true love to God. Not for the feelings or the consolations that we receive.

And one last thought for you...

Don't make any decisions when you're in a state like this. So, when you're thinking about your vocation... well, honestly, I wouldn't be thinking about it right now. It's not time to make decisions about it when in intense periods of dryness and/or temptation.

I'll say a prayer for you. I know how difficult this can be. Persevere. And remember: You're not alone. Right now the entire Communion of Saints are behind you, cheering you onward.

Thank you so much :) I think I know what some of the problem might be but I won't put it here as I don't want to cause any problems/fuss. I think I will just step back and spend some time getting myself in order before I start taking anything else on board.

This post has been edited by WisdomSeeker: 19 June 2009 - 01:38 PM

[InHisLove726]

TeresaBenedicta, on Jun 19 2009, 02:25 PM, said:

And one last thought for you...

Don't make any decisions when you're in a state like this. So, when you're thinking about your vocation... well, honestly, I wouldn't be thinking about it right now. It's not time to make decisions about it when in intense periods of dryness and/or temptation.

I'll say a prayer for you. I know how difficult this can be. Persevere. And remember: You're not alone. Right now the entire Communion of Saints are behind you, cheering you onward.

:yes:

[cmariadiaz]

WisdomSeeker, on Jun 19 2009, 03:33 PM, said:

Thank you so much :) I think I know what some of the problem might be but I won't put it here as I don't want to cause any problems/fuss. I think I will just step back and spend some time getting myself in order before I start taking anything else on board.

Definitely seek out a spiritual director, a priest you can trust, your trusted confessor, etc. He (or if your spiritual director is a woman, she) can help sort things out (i.e. help get yourself in order).

Finally I'll triple the thought "don't make any hasty decisions now". If you were considering religious life before this moment don't change that idea right now ... its not the appropriate time. Rather seek out someone who can help you through this moment. Its really not a moment to go through it alone.

God bless you and I will keep you in prayer tonight.

[littlesister]

To add some classic advice : Don't make decisions in the dark.

Better yet : Don't deny in the dark what you knew in the light.

[WisdomSeeker]

Thank you all again, I really do appriciate all your help and advice. I have decided not to get too stressed over this and I am for the time being going to take one day at a time, after all what will be will be :)

[tnavarro61]

it happens to me, too. all of a sudden i wanted to stop all my devotions (i stopped praying the rosary for a year, but now i am slowly returning), I wanted to leave my present community, I want to just pause all month long, without nothing to do. I returned to prayer then i found the meaning of my life again. God bless!

[WisdomSeeker]

I know that I will get to where I need to be when the time is right. At the moment I am just taking each day as it comes and seeing what happens :)

[VeniteAdoremus]

You are, by the way, still very welcome to get covered in blisters between Ely and Walsingham with us, although I most certainly understand if you'd rather not.

[alicemary]

I think a very good thought was brought up. Doubts, indeed are part of our human nature. Even when one enters religious life, the doubts, the dry spells will come and go. So often people think that once they enter the convent, seminary, it is clear sailing. It is not. The real time of testing of one's faith often begins in the novitiate. It is how you handle the doubts that will be an indicator if you remain there. Religious life is not easy
AliceMary

[rosamundi]

VeniteAdoremus, on Jun 21 2009, 09:14 PM, said:

You are, by the way, still very welcome to get covered in blisters between Ely and Walsingham with us, although I most certainly understand if you'd rather not.

Excuse me? Blisters?!? I'll have you know I stocked my first aid kit last week, and blister plasters were on special offer. :P