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  1. nunsense

    nunsense

    Church Militant


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      6

    • Content count

      7,295


  2. OnlySunshine

    OnlySunshine

    Church Militant


    • Points

      6

    • Content count

      9,796


  3. beatitude

    beatitude

    Mediator of Meh


    • Points

      5

    • Content count

      2,228


  4. BarbaraTherese

    BarbaraTherese

    Chummy Commoner


    • Points

      5

    • Content count

      6,755



Popular Content

Showing most liked content since 04/14/2018 in all areas

  1. 5 points
    beatitude

    For a Homeless Lady

    Please pray for a young homeless woman, K., who often begs outside the minimarket near me. She has a history of drug and alcohol abuse, but with the help of AA and a support worker, she's managing to stay away from these things. However, this means she's pretty isolated - she finds it difficult to socialise with other homeless people as many of them drink and it's too much of a temptation for her to be around alcohol, especially if it's cold weather and she wants to comfort herself. Please pray for her to be given strength and for her to find housing soon. We may have located an accommodation project that meets her needs and can take her in. Please also pray for me to be given wisdom and trust. I've been helping her out a bit (she sometimes asks me for things she needs, like socks or sanitary towels, and once or twice I've brought her sweater home to launder it). She's never unreasonable in what she asks, and I think she's a truthful person. However, the culture of suspicion around homeless people is such that occasionally I doubt her story and wonder if she's just taking me for a ride, even though a few pairs of clean socks and some sanitary pads and very small amounts of money are hardly going to break the bank. Please pray for me never to lose sight of Christ in her and to always know the right thing to do.
  2. 5 points
    OnlySunshine

    Super Excited!

    I received some very exciting news this week that I've been admitted to a university to study Zoology! I was kind of concerned because, although I have a Bachelor degree already and received excellent grades, my grades in the past were not great due to all sorts of health issues - especially anxiety. However, when I received the news, I was over the moon and am so happy to begin this journey! This is something I've wanted to do for MANY years but was honestly too afraid because I was concerned that I wouldn't do well with science and math. My mom kept reminding me that I am smart enough and I just need to "bite the bullet" and do what I love otherwise I'll regret it. I will need to move 2 hours from home so I'm looking at housing options. Please keep in your prayers as I will be starting the program in Fall 2018 but I will be taking a prerequisite course over the summer at a junior college to meet my math requirements (Pre-Calculus).
  3. 3 points
    Totus Tuus Maria

    Prayers for telling family about entering!

    Thank you again all for your prayers and suggestions Dad is still very upset, as I'm sure he will be for awhile but I'm hopeful he will come around. I like the idea of him visiting and seeing the sisters. I think my sister will like that idea too. The order I am discerning with is an international apostolic order that doesn't fall into one of the traditional branches. Praying for you all
  4. 3 points
    Pax17

    House Hunting

    My brother and sister-in-law are on the verge of homelessness after going through illness and job loss. My husband and I have decided to buy a house and let our family live in it. Would you please pray that we find a suitable, reasonably priced home quickly...my brother's situation is deteriorating rapidly. Thank you.
  5. 3 points
    BarbaraTherese

    Boundary issue/Giving Thanks

    Back on the 2nd April I asked prayer for my front boundary issue. My Housing Manager called on 10.4.18 and the boundary has been decided and as I was hoping. I really am very happy about this and totally grateful as it had been an issue for years that my previous landlord had been avoiding. I had been stressing out about the boundary and the visit on the 10th April and stressing out big time. That stress has now gone. It also means that I can now confidently plan out a front garden and it will be a case of less is more. That means that my garden on all sides is complete and is an easy care garden with most plants drought tolerant. My Housing Manager has also addressed the issue of my problem neighbours either side and without upsetting anyone at all. Her decision about my front boundary does mean that it is a fair and just decision both for my next door neighbour and me. Joy all round! Thank you so much for prayer. I had been praying to Our Lady Untier of Knots as I knew I was all tied up in knots big time over the issue. Deo Gratius.
  6. 3 points
    Kayte Postle

    Kayte Discerns (An Ongoing Journey)

    Had a great talk with the VD a few days ago. I got along great with the VD, and it really felt like this community is a good fit. It's like the Lord had everything I want in a community (and more) just there waiting for me. So far they are ok with my mental health needs, and are willing to continue discerning with me. They are having a few other discerners visiting with them in a few weeks, and I have some time off around the same time. I just have to find a way to pay for the plane ticket out there! Please pray that if it is the Lord's will that I will be able to make it to visit, and that the money to get there will appear. Also had a really encouraging talk with my SD a few days ago as well. He really is a great priest, and gave me some really good practical advice to help overcome some of my more serious sin struggles. God is just moving in really great ways right now, and I'm just really joyful!
  7. 2 points
    DameAgnes

    Interview w/Sr. Lucia Marie, Passionist nun

    https://www.passionistnuns.org/blog/2018/4/12/interview-with-sr-lucia-marie-family
  8. 2 points
    Egeria

    Cloister? Not cloistered?

    I'm afraid I don't understand your reasoning. I am neither defending nor attacking Aquinas, but to dismiss his influence strikes me as silly. The categorisation of religious as either contemplative or apostolic had a major influence on women religious in later centuries. In particular, it had serious consequences for monastic women who were forced into categories that were not really appropriate for them. (The same thing happened to monastic men, but with less obvious consequences because of the enclosure thing). But it also had serious consequences for women earlier than that in that the rise of the second order mendicants created a new sort of hybrid religious who had a dual identity (part monastic and part Dominican, Franciscan, etc.) that was specifically feminine - and aspects of this (enclosure, bridal imagery, the notion of "contemplative", just read Verbi Sponsa) have been imposed on women in the earlier monastic tradition for whom it is not really appropriate.
  9. 2 points
    MikMowse

    We've Gone Public!

    Congratulations to Sr (DR) Sophie on her completion of her doctorate degree. If you click on the photo it will take you to the full article and many photos on FB.
  10. 2 points
    chrysostom

    Prayers for telling family about entering!

    Prayers for you. I broke my news to my sister recently...she's the only one who knows that I'm set on it. She took it okay. I need to get a little further along in the discernment process before I talk to my parents though - I'm similarly in my adult years and independent but they'll be sad.
  11. 1 point
    OnlySunshine

    Pray for My Inner Peace

    Things have been pretty crazy this week. Last week, I found out I was accepted to the school I applied to study Zoology so I got right on registering for orientation and getting all my immunization records together to clear the holds so I could register for classes. Since the school is 2 hours away from my hometown, housing is a necessity and, for what ever reason, I found out this week that no housing is available on-campus and the housing affiliates off-campus are full, as well. Of course, the housing that was available was in a large metro area that is about an hour away from the school and I did not want to commute back and forth. It's too expensive, also. Because of this and the fact that I was really confused about what to do, I held off telling my mom because I was trying to see if there was anything else available. I was coming up empty. On another note, I met with a friend from Church yesterday who is a licensed clinical social worker. She works as a Christian counselor (she is Catholic but she works with all Christians) and loves her job. Our personalities are very similar and we started talking about my job search and how I was not sure if the Zoology degree was the right move because I'm starting from scratch, literally, and it will take so much time and money. I have a tendency to overthink things so I thought it was just my normal doubt creeping in. However, since finding out that housing is not available, it made me realize that, again, things happen for a reason. I haven't seen this friend a really long time and we just happened to meet the week that I was having doubts about what my career should be. My grandmother, who is always supportive, expressed pretty big doubts herself about how I would pay for things without going into debt and how long it would take to complete school before I was doing something I love. I felt, personally, like I was going into it blindly. It's not like me to do something so unorthodox and I think that's what made me hesitate - with good reason. Anyway, I talked for a good hour with my friend about her job and just realized that I need to pursue something that is more in tune with what I've done in the past, which is health care, and something that won't take so long to complete before I can start working in that career. Let's be honest, I am about to be 35 in July and I'm not in a position to make spur-of-the-moment decisions. For whatever reason, I became impulsive and the brakes were put on me. My friend gave me a contact of hers that works at the school she attended for her MSW and I also found more information online about the program. It will require me to take the GRE test (ugh!) but I really think the Master's program is the way to go. My friend reminded me how versatile social work is - you can work in several different settings. I need prayers please. I am glad that I met with this friend. I was considering being a counselor when I was still at my last job because my supervisor and a few other co-workers said I had the personality to work in social work. I'm very empathetic and resourceful. I also love animals. I told my friend that I was interested in acquiring and training a Golden Retriever as a therapy dog and she reminded me that equine therapy helps so much, too. I have loved horses ever since I was 3 years old, so I'd love doing that.
  12. 1 point
    little2add

    Francis denies Hell

    Didn’t Frances denied denying damnation?
  13. 1 point
    Anomaly

    Friendship Standards

    @tinytherese. You set your own standards for friends. You know yourself more intimately then others can and will recognize when the relationship is damaging to yourself. You are never obligated to a relationship that is damaging. I’m old enough to have gone through many friendships. Some end, fade away, or change over the decades. Try to not take it personally when they end. We all have different personalities and have different emotions and perspectives about relationships at any given time. I’ve been married for more than 35 years. My relationship with my wife has evolved and changes in some aspects, weekly. We have friend relationships that old as well. They change too as life happens. There are always new people to befriend, occasionally old friendships to rekindle, and rarely, relationships that have weathered the decades. You are the best person to answer your question. I wish you peace and happiness.
  14. 1 point
    GreenScapularedHuman

    A prayer to praise Mary— besides the obvious

    It was not my intent.
  15. 1 point
    Pax17

    Drop a word, keep a word

    Hold fast
  16. 1 point
    dominicansoul

    Francis denies Hell

    She was speaking of the poor sinners not yet in hell. Scripture and Jesus Christ himself speaks of Hell as an eternal punishment. This is Truth. I can see why we have so many denominations and beliefs amongst mankind. People can really twist Truth how they wish. The Catholic Church has spoken and taught Truth from the time of the apostles to us. Even with all our scoundrels and all our scandals, it has not changed one iota of the Gospel of Christ. When someone says the world is flat, I immediately turn off from that person because he sounds ridiculous and a cad. I must say I feel the same way when someone tries to debate there is no Hell. Good day
  17. 1 point
    little2add

    Nun life vs. helping at home

    pray on it! Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at his disposition, and listening to his voice in the depths of our hearts.
  18. 1 point
    GreenScapularedHuman

    A prayer to praise Mary— besides the obvious

    Respectfully disagreed. And the article discusses the matter its more than just a speculative thought. Minus the obvious like the messianic and god complex... the Bible even frequents the concern of the crowd and even his family that he had lost his mind including: But the reason I would think so is that his speech is a bit disorganized and tangential at times, John 17 comes to mind. His replies are vague parabolic replies that in many cases don't really answer the question, which even his disciples ask why the parables and the New Testament often deposits that the answers of Jesus did not make sense to listeners. Jesus often spoke about persecution and conspiracies against him, which even the listeners seem a bit startled by the claim: This is an example of the crowd both challenging the sanity of Jesus and questioning who is trying to kill him. Which Jesus doesn't answer the question but rather he offers at best a tangential answer about a justification for 'works' on the Sabbath. While one might be tempted to read this as a reference to the mentioned conspiracy to kill Jesus in the Gospels... Jesus addressing the crowd says that they are trying to kill him. Which is a possible interpretation but one that ignores that the claim is addressed at the crowd. Regarding depression... Jesus never married, lived with his mother till his 30s in obscurity (possibly even isolation), and often expressed great lament even fatigue. Jesus' failure to defend himself before Pilate could be seen as a symptom of a depressive episode or possibly even of tiredness as he was up almost the entire night by the gospel's account praying (a common symptom of depression is being up at night and difficulty resting). Regardless if Jesus was god or not, good or not, true or not, real or not... theres plenty of things in the Gospels that have a lot of value and its impact on Western culture is almost unavoidable even as the West becomes much more secular and irreligious. Richard Dawkings (lauded evolutionary biologist and a bit of a vocal anti-theist/atheist) has said he is a 'cultural christian'... showing that the impact and relevance is very far reaching. So if Jesus was psychotic doesn't change any of that... And if Jesus was god, was good, was true, and was real.... then thats doubly so... it changes none of that.
  19. 1 point
    GreenScapularedHuman

    Nun life vs. helping at home

    Huh?
  20. 1 point
    DameAgnes

    A couple of former PMers in this Newsletter

    Sr. Mary Grace and Sister Ignatia. I don't remember their PM names. They must be well on in their first vows, by now, and approaching final vows. Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration. http://ssfpa.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Winter-2018-Newsletter-4-Website-S.pdf
  21. 1 point
    DameAgnes

    They were going to get married. Now, he's a priest, she's a sister

    https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/they-were-going-to-get-married-now-hes-a-priest-and-shes-a-sister-46750#.WtPVNjF_qJQ.twitter
  22. 1 point
    little2add

    Catholic Jokes

    Catholic Dictionary Act of Contrition---A penitential prayer you warm up with so you don't cramp up in the confessional. Act of God--- 1. The kind of disaster insurance doesn't cover 2. The only way to get some Catholics to church on Sunday. Act of Faith--An action that shows a person's belief that an event will occur -- such as when a guy cleans his bedroom before a big date. Acts of the Apostles---1. Phony motions to the wallet made by the Apostles when the check arrived for the Last Supper. 2. Christ's touring company --- they knocked 'em dead in Samaria, Thessalonica, Damascus,etc. Advent ---A season filled with the sounds of pipers piping, drummers drumming and cash registers ringing. Advent Wreath--- A brightly colored, seasonally decorated fire hazard. Agnostic---1. An atheist who is hedging his bets. 2. Someone who isn't sure there is a God, but who is sure he doesn't want to go to Mass every Sunday. All Saints Day (November 1st)---- A day to honor the least-known saints and give your least-liked halloween candy to your little brother. All Soul' Day (November 2nd)---The day to remember all deceased Motown recording artists. Alpha and Omega----The fraternity that Christ belonged to. Amen----The only part of a prayer everyone knows. Annulment----1. Divorce, Catholic style. 2. A decree that a marriage never existed -- like the dream sequence on "Dallas". Apocalypse---An important event that you probably can't find a Hallmark card for. Apostasy-- The difficult process of giving up one set of beliefs for another -- such as switching from Leno to Letterman. Arc of the Covenant--The trajectory of the tablets when Moses threw them down the mountain. Armageddon---The last day you can redeem your green stamps. Ascension of Christ----Jesus rose into heaven forty days after Easter -- an indication of how tough it is to get a table up there. Asceticism--Living a pure, virtuous life - and then dying of boredom. Beatification----1. Papal recognition that a holy person is one step away from having a parochial school named after him. 2. The step in the canonization process when a persons' head is fitted into a halo. Beattitudes----1. Sayings that look nice on a cross-stitched plaque. 2. Second rate attitudes. Benediction---The start of the race to the parking lot. Bethlehem---Where Mary and Joseph had to come to their census. Bingo---1. How Catholics tithe. 2. The parlor game churches organize each week to keep little old ladies off the street. Bishop---Old man in the see. Blessed Virgin-- The phrase Joseph muttered himself to sleep with. Blessing--A prayer preceeding an event that grants God's grace and releases Him from any liability. Blind Faith--A redundant expression. Body of Christ---Amen...oops, sorry. Habit I guess. Bulletin--1. Parish information read only during the homily. 2. Catholic air conditioning. 3. Your receipt for attending Mass. Burning bush--What the Isrealites thought Moses had been smoking when he said he spoke with God. Calvin, John--The man who championed the theory of predestination -- whether he wanted to or not. Cannon Law--The principle that whoever has the cannon makes the law. Capital sins---more serious that the lower case ones. Caroling---1. A Christmas tradition of walking from house to house singing yule song until residents give you food to shut up. 2. Yuletide revenge on the neighbor whose barking dog keeps you up at night. Catholic Mass---An event with so much standing, sitting, and kneeling you can forego your Jane Fonda workout tape for Sunday. Catholic wedding---A ceremony in which a father loses his daughter -- and his life savings. Celibacy--- A clever comeback used by single men and women to explain why they don't have a date for Saturday night. Charity---1. What you call your trash when you give it to the Little Sisters of the Poor. 2 The only one of the theological virtues that pays off every April 15th. Choir---A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync. Christians--- People who follow Jesus, although they disagree on which way He went. Christmas---The celebration of the birth of Christ, which invariably falls during the busiest shopping season of the year. Confession---What you bragged about the night before. Conscience--- the little voice of morarity that you wish had a body so you could punch it in the nose. Convent---A rectory where the toilet seats are always down. Corona--The goofy haircut some monks receive to ensure their vow of chastity. Covenant---A contract between God and His people --- one that the Devil is still trying to take to arbitration. Creation---The story that scientists get a big bang out of. Creationism---The belief that no one is a monkey's uncle. Crucifixion--1. A rather extreme form of impeachment. 2. The form of execution used by the Romans when the lions were full. Cry room---A place in the back of the church where children are brought after their tantrums have reduced their parents to tears. Dead Sea Scrolls---The Cliff Notes to the old testament. Devil---Evil with a capital D. Devotion--- Standing for the duration of the Gospel on Palm Sunday Disciples---Followers of Christ who hadn't earned enough merit badges to become Apostles. Divine intervention---What happens when God steps in and does something for the good of mankind...like ending Ronald Reagan's movie career. Dona Nobis Pacem--- The double play combination of the parish softball team. Doxology---A verbal high-five with the Lord. Easter---1. The day you see Catholics you haven't seen since Chistmas 2. The day when Christ's body was missing and all the children are worried about is finding the missing chocolate eggs. Ecumenical Council-- Where all those "a priest, a rabbi, and a minister" jokes get started. Ecumenical prayer service--When Christians of various denominations get together and confuse the heck out of God. Ecumenism---The practice of unity among Christians whereby Catholics cut Protestants some slack for being close. Egypt---the country which created the first form of writing: hieroglyphics -- the basis for all medical prescriptions. Envy--- The sin Catholics commit when they think of non-Catholics who get to remain seated during their church services. Eternity---The time between Communion and the end of Mass. Evangelists, TV 1. Preachers with miraculous power---the ability to squeeze dollars out of the penniless. Eve--- The only wife who never had to worry about the "other woman" Everlasting life--- What a Catholic will need to understand all the changes since Vatican II. Eye of the needle--- The analogy that provides a strong incentive for rich men to breed tiny camels. Faith---Giving God the benefit of the doubt on the question "Can God make a rock so big that even He, Himself, cannot lift it"? Fast---God's diet plan Feast of the assumption---The holy day observed forty days after Easter, by which time all of the black jelly beans will be gone. Fishers of men----A description of the Apostles who trawled for souls. Folk mass---The type of liturgy celebrated at the church of Saints Peter, Paul and Mary. Font---The baptismal basin where the priest wets the baby's head and the baby wets the priests vestments. Free will---A gift from God that you will pay for later if you use it incorrectly. Friday, Good---The day of the crucifixion of Jesus---which makes you wonder what a Messiah's got to do to make it a Bad Friday. Garden of Eden---Where Adam and Eve dug us a hole. Gnosticism---Gneo-Christian cult based on gnebulous gnosis whose days were gnumbered due to gnaysayers. God---The Supreme Being who knows everything, including why the Howells brought so many clothes for a three hour tour. Godparent--- A person who has to baby-sit on request. Golden Rule---The most painful thing a nun can hit you with. Good Samaritan---A guy who today would probably get arrested and left in jail until "60 minutes did a story on him. Gospel--A term that means "Good news"-----even though the homily always follows. Great Schism--A time when there were more Popes that heavyweight boxing champions. Guilt--- Agonizing paranoia somewhere along the lines of "God will get me for what I did". It racks the brain, twists the emotions, and turns the stomach until the person's a physical wreck--and God's job is already done. Habits---Nunderwear. Hail Mary---1. A prayer you say when the answer to "Our Father" is "NO" 2.The answer to the question, "What could be worse than raining cats and dogs?" Handshake of peace--- Shaking hands with the kid next to you in Mass---who just wiped his nose without a handkerchief. Heaven's Gate--- A passage that everyone wants to get through and a movie that everyone avoided. Hell--1. A place that even Johnny Cochran can't save you from. 2. Satan's home on the range. Holy cards--- Pictures of religious figures--like baseball cards without bubble gum. Holy Day of Obligation 1. As in Monday night Football, a Mass that counts in the standings. 2. A feast day on which Roman Catholics are duty bound to suffer through their second Mass, sermon and collection of the week. Holy Grail--- The chalice that Jesus and the Apostles shared at the Last Supper. Its location is unknown and, considering oral hygiene, that's probably for the best. Holy oil---Chrism rubbed on the foreheads of teenaged Confirmation candidates -- as if they needed more grease up there. Holy Saturday---The day your knees are sore from Good Friday. Holy water---A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY. Homily---The part of Mass when the pastor prepares the flock for the fleecing. Hope---A desire that's dashed when Father Talkalot proceeds down the aisle on a hot Sunday. Hymn--A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than the congregation's range. Hymn, recessional----The last song on Mass, often sung a little more quietly since most people have left before that time. Immaculate Conception---1. A clean thought. 2. The feast that reminds Catholics of the purity of Mary and the fact that they have only seventeen more shopping days until Christmas. Incense--Holy smoke. Innocent III---The man who was Pope until Proven Guilty IV. Inquisition--A tough *final* exam. Intercession---A prayer on behalf of another---although it shouldn't be for the other person to die of hemorrhoids. Issac--- The biblical figure who became anxious when his father, Abraham, wanted to spend some 'quality time' with him. Jesuits-- An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams. Jesus Christ---1. The Son of God who became the Messiah, despite a few cries of nepotism. 2. One person who could truthfully answer yes to the question "Hey, were you born in a barn, or what?" Jesus freaks---The subtitle of the Gospel chapter in which Christ clears the temple. Jews---Known as "the Chosen People". Throughout history, whenever anyone felt the need to pick on someone, they always chose the Jews -- if there were no Catholics or gypsies around. Job---A man who probably would have enjoyed root canal surgery. John the Baptist--1. The man who started the wet look. 2. The guy your mother told you to stay away from--along with Jim the Lutheran and Chip the Episcopalian. Jonah--the original "Jaws" story. Joseph of Arimathea-- An undertaker who doubled his money by selling Christ a tomb for only three days. Justice--When your kids have kids of their own. Kneeler---What little children with muddy shoes love to stand on. Knights of Columbus--The organization responsible for the senseless proliferation of spaghetti dinners. Kyrie Elieson---The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. Lamb of God---A prayer Catholics can say without missing a bleat. Lapsed Catholic---1. A Catholic who only knows pig latin. 2. A Catholic who doesn't care if Southern Methodist beats Notre Dame in football. Last Supper--- One of the strangest meals in history, because Jesus performed the First Mass and all thirteen in attendance sat on one side of the table. Latin--- The language that died of irregular vowel movenents. Latin Mass--- Vatican II----Latin 0 Laying on of hands-- A healing action by a charismatic - first on the head, then on the wallet. Lazarus--1. A friend of Jesus who died but got better. 2. A man who was late to his own funeral. Lector---The liturgucal reader who must speak louder than the sports coats of the ushers. Lent---1. The time of year when you borrow ham sandwiches from your Protestant neighbors. 2. The last chance before summer to keep those broken New Year's promises. Limbo--- A place for unbaptized souls who must bend over backwards to get into Heaven. Litany--- The part of the Mass you don't need to memorize. Liturgy--Just about the only urgy that can be satisfied by an unmarried Catholic. "Love thy Neighbor as thyself" ----- The Golden Rule--- for everybody except masochists. Lust--- One of the seven deadly sins--confessed to a man who is not allowed to commit it. Lyre--A bibical instrument that masqueraded as a harp. Madonna--- latin for "like a virgin" Magi--- The most famous trio to ever attend a baby shower. Manger---1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. 2. The bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough. Manna--- the trail of bread crumbs that God left for the Israelites so they could find their way out of the desert Martyr---Someone dying to be a saint. 2. A religious person who gets stoned. Mary, Blessed Virgin--- The only mother who became well known for her virginity. Mary Magdalene----- The woman the disciples greeted with "How's Tricks?" Mass--- The kind of confusion that exists in the church parking lot every Sunday. Mass Attendance--- How young Catholics "pay the rent" when they still live with their parents. Mea Culpa--- An obscure way to take the blame for something without letting everyone know that you screwed up. "The meek shall inherit the earth" ---The Lord's trickle-down theory. Mercy--when there is no sermon on a hot Sunday. Messiah-- A classical piece that Catholics have a Handel on. Methuselah--- The oldest man in history at 969 years old, which is 6,783 in dog years. Middle Ages---When a Catholic is old enough to go to Mass alone, but still has to bring home a bulletin as proof. Miracle--- 1. A Catholic family with fewer that 6 kids. 2. An event with no reasonable explanation---such as "The Honeymooners: the Lost Episodes". 3. Divine intervention--prayed for most ardently in the waning seconds of football games. Missalettes---- The dancing girls at progressive masses. Mitre--- The hat that the bishop has to take off at movies. Monks---What priests evolved from. Monotheism---When God speaks to you over the AM dial of your radio. Monsignor---A title conferred by the Pope on a priest (this grants him an extra ten minutes of sermon each week.) Mortal sin--- A sin which your parents would kill you for, if they found out. Mortification---Ignoring your stomach growls during Mass. Moses---The leader of the Israelites who should have gone up the mountain a third time for directions out of the desert. Mount Sinai--- The place where God told Moses to take two tablets and call him in the morning. myrrh---The second gift of the Magi, and a great scrabble word when you're out of vowels. Mysteries of the Church--- Phenomena that are impossible to understand. For example, how a four foot altar boy can lift a twenty-pound book high enough for a six-foot man to read from. Mysteries of the Rosary--- Things to ponder while you're praying the Rosary -- such as how to get the darned thing untangled. New Testament--Sequel to the Old Testament in which God was in a considerably better mood. Novices---Clerics who are still adjusting their habits. Nun--1. A woman who has taken vows of poverty and chastity--hence the name. 2. The butt of the joke ending with this punch line: "That was no laity, that was my sister" Obedience--The vow of "monk he see, monk he do." Offering--A sacrifice unto God - hangovers don't count. Old Testament---A book of scripts for Cecil B. De Mille. Olive branch---A welcome sign of hope for Noah, since he had only stocked enough martini olives for thirty-eight days. ONE (1) A.D.-- The year peoples ages started increasing each year. Ordinary time--The period on the litergical calendar when the Church readily admits that there isn't much going on. Original Sin---1. What is cleansed by baptism, after which we use the new and improved kind. 2. What teenagers are always trying to come up with. Pagans-People without religion whose numbers span the globe---never knowing the thrill of a bingo victory or the agony of the feet after the reading of the Passion. Palms---Branches you leave behind in the pews on Palm Sunday, only to have the priest burn them and rub the cinders on your forehead the next Ash Wednesday. Pantheism---the belief in the miracle of Teflon. Papal bull-- a letter from the Pope that's infallibull. Papal infalibility---1.The doctrine which states that the only time the Pope in wrong is when he is mistaken. 2. Why the Pope would clean up on Jeopardy. Papal visit--When countries roll out the red carpet and half their GNP for the Pope - who tells them to do something about the poor. Parochial school---Where you learn enough about religion to say Mass and enough about sex to use the right public restroom. Paten--The communion plate that the altar boy uses to score your Adam's apple. Patron saint---The guardian you talk to when all the other lines are busy. Pentateuch--the first five books of the Bible---and the only books of the New Testament that Catholics can recall. Pentacost---Fifty days after Easter--by which time you've more than made up for your Lenten sacrifices. Permanent deacon---A married man who can do almost anything a priest can, and some things he can't. Petitions---The time during the Mass when everyone is praying for world peace but thinking, "Please help me with the lottery" Pew--1. A medieval torture device still found in Catholic Churches. 2. A real pain in the Mass. Poverty--- A vow taken by the clergy that keeps the Church in the black. Prayer- Your last resort for obtaining something that you don't have a chance in Hell of getting. Pre-Cana--The required wedding preparation retreat which helps a couple establish a solid base for arguments in the coming years. Predestination 1. The rendezvous spot for you and your friends when you're supposed to be at Mass. 2.The gas station where a Catholic family stops, even though Mom and Dad told everyone to go before they left. Pride---Bringing photographs along to confession. Procession-- The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass, consisting of the altar boys, the lay ministers, the celebrant, and the late parishioners looking for a seat. Protestant-- A person who will probably make it to Heaven, but won't live in as good of a neighborhood. Purgatory---1. A place that Cub fans will bypass completely 2. A place where a snowball still has a chance. Recessional---The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass - led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot. Relics--People who have been going to Mass for so long they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand. Religion---A cult with a good PR department. Resurrection of Christ--It's hard to keep a good man down. Revelation-- The final book of the Bible which doesn't exactly end "and they lived happily ever after." Rhythm method--Why Catholic kids don't have rooms of their own. Rome-- Where II and II is IV. Rosary--A prayer ritual that seems to last five decades. Sabbath-- A day of worship and rest, meaning Mass and football (in no particular order). Sacrament-- An after-sinner mint. Sacrament of Baptism--The first time the Church soaks you. Sacrament of Reconciliation--Solemnly asking forgiveness for actions you wish you had videotaped to show your friends. Sacrilege-- Irreverent use of something sacred--but it's too late now, you're already up to the S's. Sacristry--1.The clerical locker room. 2. A place where divestment is not a moral issue. Saint--A person always pictured as light-headed. Saint Anthony--The saint a man prays to when his wife can't find what he's looking for. Saint Basil--A man for all seasonings. Saint Christopher--The saint to call if AAA doesn't answer. Saint Joseph--1.The husband of the Virgin Mary and the patron saint of cold showers. 2. The most boring role in the Christmas pageant. Saint Jude--The patron saint of the federal budget. Saint Peter--The Apostle that Jesus once called "The Rock"--now employed as a bouncer at the pearly gates. Satan--An angel who got fired. Second Coming---When you had better not be standing anywhere near the fan. Sermon- 1. The part of the Mass that begins with a recap of the Gospel and then drones into other gray matters of Christianity while your gray matter wanders off into subjects such as whether there are still the same number of ceiling tiles as last week. 2. Another word for homily, which doesn't make it any shorter. Sexual intercourse--A caring, special act between two people who are in love, married (to each other), in bed, under the covers, with the lights off, and the door locked - for the pupose of making more Catholics. Shroud--Pajamas for the big sleep. Shroud of Turin--An old burial garment Christ wouldn't be caught dead in. Sign of the Cross--1. How young Catholics remember which hand is their right one. 2. A gesture showing reverence for the Cross - used during Mass and before free-throws. Sin of commission--An action that is immoral, such as picking all the cashews out of the holiday nut mix. Sin of omission--Never putting any cashews into the nut mix in the first place. Sinner--someone who cannot cast the first stone, but would be more than happy to cast the next five or six. Sloth--The cardinal sin of laziness - which can only be forgiven by a guy who works one day a week. Sodom and Gomorrah -- Where Old Testament college students went on spring break. Solomon--A man known for his wisdom, despite the fact that he had three hundered wives. State of grace-- After you receive absolution, but before you see a cute girl genuflecting. Synagogue--Where Jesus is just another pretty face. Tabernacle-- Where Christ had an out-of-body experience. Temptation--A condition conducive to sinning--for most people, just being concious. Temptation of Christ--To once, just once, declare "To hell with what the Scriptures say Peter, *I* say we're going to the beach today." Ten Commandments--The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman. Theologian--1. A sage who writes at length about how little we know of God. 2. Someone who would know where Noah kept the termites. Theology--The college course that helps you unlearn all the things you learned in religion class. Tower of Babel--The reason the Lord created different languages. He scattered the builders accross the continent, only to have them reunite in New York as cabbies. Transfiguration of Christ--When Scotty used the wrong coordinates and almost beamed up Jesus. Turn the other cheek--The rule of thumb when the other guy is bigger. Ushers--The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew. Vacation Bible School--How parents ruin a child's summer vacation. Vatican City--The only country that will never win an Olympic luge medal. Vespers--Vat ve hear ven vorshippers don't vant to vear out their velcome. Vigil--Looking out for number one. Vine and branches--A biblical metaphor: Christ is the vine, we are the branches -- and the Big Guy has the pruners. Virgin birth--Paying the fiddler without getting to dance. Virginity--What cannot be refunded once a deposit is made. Vulgate--The version of the Bible that Spock reads.
  23. 1 point
    cappie

    THIRD SUNDAY OF EASTER

    On the third Sunday of Easter, we continue to hear Gospel accounts of Jesus’ appearances to his disciples following his Resurrection. Today’s reading, taken from the Gospel of Luke, follows immediately after the report of Jesus' appearance to his disciples on the road to Emmaus. This is the event being recounted by the disciples in the opening verse of today’s Gospel. Consistently in the reports of Jesus’ post-Resurrection appearances, Jesus greets his disciples with the words, “Peace be with you.” This is appropriate for the disciples have witnessed the death of someone they loved, and they now fear for their own lives as well. Peace is what they need more than anything else. Jesus often connects this greeting of peace with another gift—forgiveness. In today’s Gospel, this connection is made in the final verses. However, even as they hear Jesus’ greeting of peace, the disciples are startled and terrified. They are uncertain about what to make of the figure before them and, quite understandably, they mistake Jesus for a ghost. Jesus does two things to help the disciples overcome fear and unbelief. He shows them His hands and His feet, saying, “It is I Myself!”, and tells them to touch His body saying, “A ghost has no flesh and bones as you can see I have!” Jesus shows His hands and feet because on them is the sign of the nails (cf. Jn 20:25-27). The Risen Christ is Jesus of Nazareth, the same one who was nailed to the Cross and not a phantasm Christ as the disciples imagined when they saw Him. He orders them to touch His body, because the Resurrection is the Resurrection of the whole person, body and soul. The Resurrection has nothing to do with the theory of the immortality of the soul, which the Greeks taught. As further proof of his identity and of his resurrected body, Jesus eats with his disciples. One of the greatest difficulties of the first Christians was that of accepting the Crucified as the promised Messiah, because the Law taught that a crucified person was a “person cursed by God” (Deut 21:22-23). For this reason, it was important to know that Scripture had already announced that “Christ had to suffer and rise from the dead on the third day and that in His name, conversion and forgiveness of sins would be preached to all peoples.” Jesus shows them what had already been written in the Law of Moses, in the prophets and in the psalms. Jesus risen from the dead, alive in their midst, becomes the key to opening to them the total significance of Sacred Scripture. Jesus now uncovers for them the significance of what was written about him in the Scriptures. In this last order is enclosed the whole mission of the Christian communities: to be witnesses to the Resurrection, in such a way that the love of God which accepts us and forgives us will be manifested, and which wants us to live in community as sons and daughters, brothers and sisters with one another. As Jesus commissions his disciples to be witnesses to what Scriptures foretold, our celebration of the Eucharist commissions us. Like the disciples, we are sent to announce the good news of Jesus’ forgiveness of sins. We live in the real world. So, did Jesus. We have real problems and real struggles. Jesus meets us in the midst of them. We come to church or read the bible, and we don’t just hear some nice story. We experience the reality of God working throughout our history, in the times and places of old as well as in the times and places we know, and we encounter the love of God in Christ in our reality. A mere story can’t change our lives. But knowing our history, our present, and our future can. That’s our reality. And our reality is that Christ is risen. He is risen indeed.
  24. 1 point
    BarbaraTherese

    A prayer to praise Mary— besides the obvious

    My prayer in Praise of Mary - prayed a few times daily after The Hours (it is my variation of the Chaplet in Praise of Mary found HERE ): I like this prayer because it asks nothing, it prays only in praise of Our Lady.
  25. 1 point
    CatherineM

    98 y.o. nun goes to the sweet 16

    Being a nun doesn’t mean you have to have a boring life.
  26. 1 point
    BarbaraTherese

    For my son

    A prayer for my son would be really appreciated. He has applied for a position that will bring him in contact daily with people and he has always been a caring person, concerned for others. He wont know for another 6 to 8 weeks whether his application has been successful or not. He has to go through a few assessments. Thank you St Joseph The Worker, please pray for him
  27. 1 point
    Luigi

    First visit anxiety

    Write yourself a few short sentences that you can repeat as off as necessary. I use afraid, scared, nervous, and anxious interchangeably. Customize the wording to suit your own thoughts/feelings. 1. I feel that God might calling me to that place; I'm going so I can find out. So I don't have to be afraid. 2. The people I will meet there were called by God to that place; I don't have to be afraid. 3. The people I will meet in that place were probably nervous the first time they came, too; therefore, they'll understand my nervousness. 4. God is going with me to that place; God is already in that place; therefore, I don't have to nervous/anxious/scared. And if you get there and you realize God is not calling you to that place, then the visit has still been beneficial - you'll know to strike that place from your list and look elsewhere. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.
  28. 1 point
    28yrolddiscerner

    Prayers for telling family about entering!

    Praying for you this evening! You must follow where Jesus leads you. Maybe they don’t understand now but someday they will. I’m curious what branch you are joining (Carmelite, franciscan, etc)? Peace of Christ
  29. 1 point
    TheresaThoma

    Question for youth entering very strict Orders

    (Note: I have not yet entered religious life but I am seriously discerning and have friends that have entered.) I am seriously discerning with a community that could be considered strict (a contemplative order). If I end up entering I will not have home visits but my family can come visit me. This is a bit of a sacrifice but in some ways this would be more consistent than how often I get to see my family now due to work and such. Through my contact with various communities I have noticed that sometimes the personal time is tucked into or may be somewhat hidden in the schedule. For example with the community that I am discerning with there is some personal time listed in the schedule but there are other "pockets" of time plus what is not listed is that Sundays are basically free days (the necessary tasks like cooking, dishes, phone/door are on a rotating basis on Sundays). So outside of prayers and meals you can choose to spend that time with other Sisters or by yourself. I spent three months there on a live-in visit and sometimes certain parts of the life were difficult. The schedule overall is demanding but personally I found that I had better and more consistent sleeping and eating habits at the abbey than on my own. I think what many young women, myself included, see in these strict communities is distinctiveness, being set apart as a sign pointing to the things that are eternal. There is a strong desire for the support of a community and respect for traditions. In my time with the community it was beautiful to realize that what and how I was doing that day had roots that go back centuries (it is a Benedictine community). There is the sense of connection, which made everyday tasks richer. There is also a sense of security with these communities that some may see as strict. The practices and ways of life go back decades (if not centuries) and have changed very little and the community is still thriving today. If a young woman is looking at committing her life to something she wants to be relatively sure that it will still be in existence 40, 50, 60 or even 70 years from now. Even though the young women entering today did not see the immediate after effects of the confusion after Vatican II the effects are still evident. The question consciously or subconsciously arises, "what helped this community survive and thrive whereas others are dying out?" I have seen with some communities that are dying out they have in some ways lost what made them distinct. The Sisters live on their own, they don't have communal prayer, they have vastly different apostlates from their Sisters. There isn't much connectedness to the community or sometimes even the charism. This doesn't look much different from how a devout young woman can live today without being a part of that type community. So for many young women they see those communities and think "why should I join that community? I'm doing that already". Those that kept more with their own tradition and identity even if the practices seem a bit too strict are still here. Finding that balance between tradition and renewal (and practicality) is hard but very necessary and some of the "strict" communities have proved that they can find that balance. The community I am discerning with was founded from another abbey (which traces back its origins to the early 1000s) over 80 years ago, there is a strong sense of tradition while being flexible which gives a sense of security that there is a good chance the community will still be in existence for another 80 or more years. I do agree that there has to be a balance otherwise the strictness will become unhealthy. Also what may be too strict for one person may be perfect for someone else. With regards to devotions I have friends who are part of communities with communal devotions. I can see that is something very life giving for them personally but it also helps bind the community together because that devotion is an expression of the charism. In some cases it would be very odd not to have a particular devotion if it is part of their spirituality or charism. Again a community could possibly have "too many" devotions. Personally I'm not into lots of communal devotions and so I may look at the different prayers that a community has and think it is way too much but someone who is called to that community may just see that as how the community expresses its charism.
  30. 1 point
    TheresaThoma

    Prayers for telling family about entering!

    Something that helped my family a bit was being able to meet the Sisters. My family was very much against my vocation. My mom has gone from open hostile opposition to resigned acceptance (MAJOR change). I think what helped her in part was being able to meet a few of the Sisters. I did a live in this past summer and at the end I got permission for my mom, sister, and nephew) to come up earlier in the afternoon on the day they picked me up. They were there for midday prayers and had lunch and I was able show them around a bit. I think this helped my mom because in meeting the Sisters they became just "normal people" not this scary group of strangers. My mom did find it funny how many of the Sisters wanted to see my nephew (who was 1 at the time). That helped break the ice a bit. I know it is still difficult for her but the visit helped. So maybe at the end of your two week visit your dad and/or sister could come and meet the Sisters. Another thing that really helped was me sharing about the parts of the life they could understand (my family is not Catholic or even really religious). I got a phone call home once a month during the 3 months I was there. I focused on sharing the funny and beautiful parts; the normal day in and day out stuff. Overall I think hearing and seeing me "in context" helped them so much because they could tell I am happy there.
  31. 1 point
    JHFamily

    Prayers for telling family about entering!

    It's hard, really hard, even when it is expected. But remember, these sufferings can be offered up for his benefit; don't waste the opportunity! I will be sure to pray for their understanding.
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