JMJ
12/16 - Third Thursday of Advent

All,

I'm going to start posting a series of vocation reflections for you all on general themes - accepting the love of God in our life, the role of trust and prayer in discovering a vocation, &c. - written by seminarians/priests/religious members of the PhatMass community. Here follows the first from cappie. Just read it and take what you can to prayer. Peace.

Yours,
Pio Nono

Saying Yes To God's Love


Today - I want us to consider the importance of our saying Yes to God's love and how our saying yes to love is able to bring to birth in our world a new and marvelous thing.

You know the Christmas Story is strongly reliant upon something that most people find very strange. It is reliant upon two people saying yes to God. And saying yes in most unusual circumstances, to a proposal that seems most strange indeed.

We are all keenly aware of Mary and how she said yes to God, and so came to be the mother of the Messiah, mother of the one we call the Son of God, mother of the one who would die so that we might live.

But have you considered how this Yes profoundly changed the course of
Mary's life? How her willingness to trust the angel of God and to accept his word altered her entire world?

Engaged to be married, she is suddenly to be with child

The risks are tremendous.

And what is this child of God's love to be? This child that she says yes to when she opens her life so totally to God?



There were many Messiahs at the time Mary conceived.
Most of these were either ridiculed or were killed or both.

So why would her child - this child that she was told would be of God
be any different?

Truly Mary had a lot to store up in her heart and ponder, as the scriptures tell us over and over again that she did, she had not only to store up the angel greetings and the words of shepherds and wise men and prophets, She had to ponder what all these would do with her life and the lives of her child and of her husband.

And Joseph?
What did it mean for him to say yes to God?
How easy could have it been?

Joseph is the odd man out in the Christmas Story, isn't he?

A priest that I know tells the story about how once a worried mother
phoned the church office on the afternoon before the annual Christmas
program to say that her small son, who was to play the role of Joseph in the Christmas Pageant, had a cold and had gone to bed on doctor's orders. "It's too late now to get another Joseph," the director of the
play said. "We'll just have to write him out of the script."

And they did! Joseph just disappeared! And few of those who
watched that night actually realized that Joseph was missing."

Joseph is often forgotten. But consider his role in bringing Jesus into this world for a minute.

Without Joseph how would Mary have been supported? Her family would have been bound by the law to reject her if Joseph had rejected her. Her baby would have been seen as illegitimate. Her life, and his, would have been in a ruin.

Joseph nurtured and protected and watched over and loved both Mary and her child. And so brought into the world - as much as did Mary - that child whom we call the gift of God's love.

But how easy could it have been at first?

How easy could it have been for him to say yes to the Angel who came to him and told him that the story that Mary had told him was true?

It is hard to believe many of the things that God tells us, hard to accept, especially when our feelings have been hurt and our sense of what is really possible in our world is limited by the pain that we experience and the pain which we see in the world around us.

Could it have been any different for Joseph?

Joseph, the scriptures tell us, was a righteous man, a good man, a kind
man.

He didn't want to expose Mary to public disgrace, in fact he had resolved to cancel their betrothal just before the angel finally appeared to him.

It must have been hard for him to accept what he heard - yet, with the same kind of faith with which Mary said yes to God, so did Joseph. He said yes to God and he took Mary to be his wife.

And what would the future bring?
What would Mary's and Joseph's Yes to God bring?

It would bring to them a wonderfully intimate experience of God's love.
It would bring to them and to the world not just the marvel of a new
and tender life. It would bring to them and the world the King of Love,
the Shepherd of the Sheep, and the one whom we know already in our hearts if we too have said Yes to God.

You know the promise is to us - as well as to Mary and to Joseph.
The promise that if we say yes to God and his gift of Love that we and our world will be blessed.

But it is no easy thing to say yes. To say yes involves risks. To say yes involves overcoming our sense of pain and hurt.

Think of the number of people whom you know who seem to live by the maxim: "once burned, twice shy."
The number of people, who are unwilling to risk accepting love,
The number of people who are afraid to show the love that God
puts into every heart, The number of people who have erected a wall around their life so that they will not ever again feel hurt or pain
because of how an imperfect love has let them down.

Yet, ultimately, love is what it is all about - what living is all about, whether that love be the perfect love of God or the imperfect love of human kind.

Pain and hurt will come to us all - whether we love or not.
Pain and hurt will afflict us all - whether others love us or not.
They came to Mary. They came to Joseph. They came to Jesus.

The big question for us - is will that pain and hurt have any meaning?
- will it have any sense???

People unfamiliar with our God, marvel and wonder at the sign of his love that we display. They marvel and wonder at the cross - a symbol of suffering - yet also a symbol of so much more. That cross signifies that God loved us so much that he gave his only son so that we might not perish.

That cross signifies that God loves us so much, that he walks with us into the worst that life can deal out, and helps us to overcome it.

When we say Yes to God's love we say Yes to that which will change our lives and give to them meaning and purpose.

When we say Yes to God's love we say Yes to that which will transform our lives and give to them a radiance that transforms others.

There are no 'shoulds' other than the should of saying yes to God's love, and that should always comes to us as a gentle knock at the door, rather than an overwhelming pressure to be happy and to be a million and one other things that we simply are not and cannot be.


I urge you

Say yes to God's love
as did Mary and Joseph
even though the saying yes involves risk and sacrifice.

Say yes. Keep the vision alive.
And walk in the path of Jesus with open hands and hearts,
and God will come to you and to our world,
and make the rough places smooth.

He will come and as he did at the creation of the world
and at the tomb of Jesus and he will bring order of chaos
and life out of death.

This is the mission of our God in and through Christ Jesus our Lord.

JMJ
12/16 - Third Thursday of Advent

Here is another piece offered by cappie:

Nine Ways to Open up God's Will for You


1. Use your mind
I advise people that in the ordinary course of events they can use their minds to reach conviction in their hearts. We'll often read the beginning of Paul's Letter to the Romans, chapter 12: "I urge you, therefore . . . by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect" (Rom. 12:1-2).

We talk about renewing the mind--centering the intellect and the will totally on God and what God wants for us. I like to quote scripture to reinforce this point, including the greatest commandment: "Love the Lord your God with your whole heart, your whole mind and with all your strength; and love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:30-31).

The purpose of our discussion--indeed, the purpose of our lives--is to seek out and live God's will for us.

2. Look at the options
I ask people what they think God wants them to do. If they present alternate possibilities, I ask which one they are inclined to think is God's will. From students and younger people, the possibilities I hear most frequently are: Should I marry? Should I be a religious or a priest? Should I break up with the person I'm dating? Should I change my course of study in school? Should I spend my summer in volunteer missionary work, or should I take a job at home? Should I room with these particular people? Should I direct my future career into work for the church?

From recent graduates and older people I hear: Is God calling me to move and change my job? Should I go back to school? I thought I was called to marriage, but it's been a long time and I haven't found anyone to marry. Should we adopt children? Should I join a lay community or apostolate? How do I deal with my strong attraction to the married person at work who seems to be flirting with me?

3. What does God want?
Most Catholics follow God's commandments and the teachings of the church. Indeed, the question is usually, "What does God want?" Seldom will a proposed course of action be inconsistent with what God wants. However, a careful review of the priorities involved in the person's state of life will frequently cast a helpful, new light on the proposed decision or change. Such statements as "I am first called to be a wife and mother" or "My first priority as a priest is to serve the people God has given me" will clarify the matter if a new direction threatens to undermine these commitments or make fulfilling them more difficult.

We might also review secondary commitments such as "God has called me to be a teacher" or "My main service to the church is in the area of respect for life." Deeply held commitments of this kind lay a foundation for future actions.

4. Will it help conversion of heart?
The key to discerning a specific vocational call is conversion. Our response to vocation involves converting our life more deeply and fully to the Lord. The call to religious life means a special call of service and self-surrender. The call to marriage always means conversion to a life centered on a spouse and possibly children. Being "in love" is important but not sufficient. Marriage, as well as the religious vocation, involves a commitment to the loving service of others.

In talking about conversion, we'll examine the person's spiritual history of turning away from sin and growing in love of God. We consider how the proposed action fits into this history. Will it bring the person closer to God and a life of virtue, or will it lead him or her further away? We look at how it will change supportive relationships. Will it be easier or more difficult to practice the disciplines of a spiritual life, such as regular prayer, participating in Mass and other sacraments, sharing faith with others, and having spiritual directors and models of holiness?

Sometimes the process of discernment will end here, when it appears that a proposed decision will make it harder for the person to grow in holiness. After going through this review, people sometimes will say, "I can see now that the Lord doesn't want me to do this; this isn't right for me." (More often, however, this conclusion comes after the next step--consistency.) At the same time, a new direction that involves considerable additional responsibility should not be ruled out simply because it might raise new temptations and challenges. Perhaps meeting and overcoming new challenges is precisely what's needed for the next stage of your spiritual growth.

5. Is it consistent with the way God has dealt with me before?
The discussion moves to consistency: How has God led you to this point? The difference between the conversion and consistency is often blurred. In both we're discerning a pattern of spiritual growth. Does the plan under consideration fit in? Can you see your life leading to this point? Do you have the time, energy, and resources to fulfill more demanding commitments?

Sometimes we understand our vocational call only when we meet the people we would like to spend our lives with. In any case, the call will be consistent with what has gone on before in our lives. Sometimes we know we are called to marriage or the religious life long before we find someone we would like to marry or a religious order we would like to enter.

The consistency of the vocation will be tested over a period of time. A couple will go through years of acquaintance and courtship to discern their vocation. People discerning religious vocations will spend years in seminary and formation before making vows for life. We say that married people are "made for each other." We say that priests and nuns and brothers "have a vocation."

The same is true for vocations to the single life. Many people are called to actively embrace singleness in order to care for family members, join a lay apostolate, or lead some other life of service. There must be consistency between the service, the person, and the call to singleness, just as there must be conformity to the gospel and an awareness of how the call will lead to greater conversion and union with God.

As you discern a life vocation, it's important to live consistently. You should start living now what you believe is your vocation. Eliminate the contradictions. As a decision about marriage approaches, both partners will stop dating other people and devote their attention exclusively to each other. Men and women might date in the early stages of thinking about a religious vocation. But as they move toward a decision, however, it's important to begin to live the celibate call, without romantic relationships.

6. What confirms the wisdom of the proposed action?
Usually people tell me several ways that their course of action appears to be confirmed. Friends will endorse it. Circumstances will change in surprising ways to make the act possible. They may have detected special spiritual signs that seem to affirm it. A life vocation is a two-way street. In large decisions--marriage, religious vocation--the confirmation of another party is required. Two parties, not one, make marriage vows. The religious community, as well as the individual, assents to a call to a religious vocation.

The lack of a confirming invitation can cause great anguish. Lovers say their hearts are broken when their love is not reciprocated. The same thing happens to people who think they have a call to the religious life. The call to a religious vocation is mutual. Both the individual and the church must hear it.

Because the mutuality of a religious vocation is often less well understood than the mutuality of marriage, I'd like to say a bit more about it. Dealing with the church can be difficult. But the church is the institution established to carry out the Lord's work--including the work of discerning vocations to the religious life. God became human. He entered into human life. He works through limited, flawed, and sometimes erring human beings and human institutions.

You may encounter problems in this discussion of the confirmation of your vocation. What does it mean when the signs are negative while the disposition of your heart is positive? Parents and family are opposed, circumstances seem to block action, but you still think the proposed course is the right one. Is this a question of timing, should the whole matter be reexamined, or should the signs be disregarded?

What is the relative importance of confirming signs--or the lack of them? How important is the approval of others? What does it mean when it looks very easy, or very difficult, to implement the decision? Be careful not to let the discussion of these complexities overwhelm the discernment process. Difficulties tend to become more complex the longer they are discussed. Move quickly to conviction of the heart. This is decisive.

It is often helpful to write down the most important items of confirmation--or lack of it. In fact, it is usually a good idea to summarize the conclusions you reach at each stage of the discernment process for later prayerful consideration.

7. Interpret spiritual signs
Signs have their place. Signs appear frequently in scripture. "And this will be a sign for you: You will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger," the angel told the shepherds (Luke 2:12). Gideon repeatedly prayed for signs that God wanted him to lead his small force against a greater army. Jesus' miracles were signs of the coming of the kingdom of God. At the same time, Saint Paul explicitly warns against relying on signs rather than on the faith we have received (1 Cor. 1:22).

In my experience, a person's account of spiritual signs is more useful as confirmation of the desire in the person's heart than as a confirming sign in itself. Often, the individual is fully convinced that he or she should go ahead; the spiritual signs are incidental or ambiguous points of confirmation.

8. What does your heart say?
Conviction is decisive. What do you sense about the moral certainty of the rightness of your call? I'll talk with people about their deepest values and desires. "Ask yourself this: Putting aside all other considerations, including difficulties in implementation and other complexities, do you believe that this is the right thing to do? When you prayerfully think about going ahead with this, do you experience a deep 'yes,' a release and a pouring out, or do you experience hesitation and deep uncertainty?"

The standard of moral certainty is high in commitments such as marriage and religious vocation where the commitment is for life and time is not a great factor. The standard of the conviction of rightness is lower in matters where you have to choose the best of several alternatives in a certain period of time. In these cases, moral certainty is a practical conclusion that this is the right course of action, as far as I can see at this point, as a Christian who follows the Lord.

9. Pray
The key to obtaining conviction is prayer. The Lord himself--through the Holy Spirit's action and presence--is the source of true conviction. We all need to pray daily for God to lead us in obedience and faithfulness.

Discerners need patience. Ultimately, neither you nor the rules are in charge. Courtships can be lengthy. Religious vocations can take a long time to unfold. There can be false starts. The process of making a life commitment is easily described, but it's messy and imperfect in reality. We are dealing with sinners, not angels. The man and woman at the altar are two imperfect people exchanging vows of love and faithfulness. Every religious community and parish is populated by people marred by sin. We shouldn't look for the perfect spouse or the perfect community. Even if we found the perfect partner, the marriage wouldn't be perfect after we joined it.

Those in discernment will change. Those who are too rigorous, legalistic, rigid, and set on things being a certain way will learn to adapt and be flexible. Those who like things to be loose and informal, never settled, will learn the benefits of discipline and structure. Those who escape into the spiritual to avoid the natural and the physical will learn how to embrace the messiness of real life. Those who are too cautious and careful will learn how to leap ahead with God's call. Risk-takers will learn the skills of caution and reflective deliberation.

Our life vocation is a treasure buried in a field, the pearl of great price. The grace is in the calling. Pursue it at whatever the cost.

JMJ
12/29 - St. Thomas Becket

This is from a book authored by Karl H Peschke, SVD. It's really good stuff.

Openness to God's Guidance and Discernment of Spirits

The tuning in to God's will presupposes perseverance and fidelity in prayer. In view of this it can justly be said that "the roots of moral knowledge are contemplative."

Hand in hand with the spirit of prayer must go the striving after goodness and truth. Those who are led by God's Spirit keep the commandments, especially the commandment of brotherly love, while those moved by false spirits do not; rather they pursue selfish ambitions (1 Jn. 3:10, 24; James 3:13-18). Impartial listening to the Spirit is impossible for those who are under the influence of selfish desires, biased interests and preconceived ideas. Discernment of spirits demands detachment from bias and partiality. Docility to the Holy Spirit presupposes a heart which is humble and ready to listen. One does not presume that a proud person is listening to the Spirit. This is why knowledgeable directors have always discounted alleged divine phenomena in proud or disobedient people. Of course, the search for truth also demands the striving after accurate information. The gathering of relevant data, it is true, does not yet create the sufficient precondition for correct discernment of what is to be done; right discernment however is also not possible without the knowledge of the facts. Insufficient or false information abets false decisions.

Prayer and experience of god, striving after goodness and humility of heart are basic preconditions for the discernment of spirits. Nonetheless even the man of prayer and the saint are not automatically assured of a correct grasp of God's will in every individual case. The rules for the discernment of spirits are aids which try to assist a person in discerning the will of God. The more important ones are the following.

1. God always works in peace and usually slowly. At the end of a time of deliberation a choice is made, which is based not only on certain facts, but also on the harmony of the choice with the voice of the heart. God does not want to create turmoil. Rather, conflicts of the soul will cease, as is to be expected, once a person has attained to harmony with God. Decisions which conform to his will are accompanied by inner peace. (Footnote: T.H. Green illustrates this point by an example from a country where many families are poor. A seminarian feels confronted with a dilemma: He wants to continue for the priesthood and yet his family is in financial need. Should he leave or should he stay? What really is God's will for him? In this case it is very helpful toa sk: "how do you feel about it when you are most at peace? - when you are at prayer and emotionally quiet and most open to whatever the Lord wants?" Very often the seminarian will reply: "At such times I always feel God is asking me to persevere and he will take care of my family. It is only when I am reflecting on it outside of prayer that doubts arise." In such a case one can confidently say that it is God's will for him to persevere.) "The signs of peace, delight, and harmony are signs which tell us which course of action is most consistent with the sort of persons we are and want to become" and with the task assigned to us by God.

2. Enlightened discernment usually needs the help of objective evaluation by others. It has been said that he who guides himself has a fool for a guide. This does not mean to say that a person should never make decisions entirely on his own responsibility. But it is undoubtedly true that he who listens only to himself is lacking in prudence. In matters of divine inspirations the possibility of illusion and self-deception is so great that an objective evaluation is indispensable.

3. The workings of the good spirit are discerned by the good results which ensue and the workings of th false spirits by the evil results. "For no good tree bears bad fruit, not again does a bad tree bear good fruit; for each tree is known bhy its own fruit" (Lk. 6:43f; cf. Mt. 7:15-20; 12:33-35). At first sight this seems to be not much more than a platitude. Perhaps this is the reason why this criterion, which is so clearly expressed by Christ, is hardly mentioned by the spiritual writers. Moral theologians today emphasize the need of paying attention to the consequences of actions when judging them. Some teachings sound very ideal in theory, but are dismal in practice. They may speak of justice, equal rights, scientific progress, better life. But if their fruits are disregard for religion, commitment to violence as a normal means of strategy, light-minded destruction of human lives, creation of new outlaws and the like, then the fruits have judged the tree.

4. For Christians in particular a basic criterion for the discernment is a person's love for Christ. According to Holy Scripture nobody can confess the lordship of Jesus except under the influence of God's Spirit, and no one who curses the Lord can be speaking by the influence of this Spirit. "By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit which confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, and every spirit which does not confess Jesus is not of God" (1 Jn. 4:2f; cf. 1 Cor. 12:3). "Discernment of spirits is only possible for a person who looks on life from the perspective of one committed to God in Christ and through the Spirit." Christians find the pattern of their lives in the life of Christ. Better than anyone else he embodies the fundamental direction which human life has to take in response to the presence of God. "To know God's will is basically to test out inspirations against the scriptures in which God is revealed to us through his Son." For this reason Holy Scripture should be the most important meditation book of every Christian.

5. A last criterion finally is the bond with the community of faith. The single most important community for Christians is the Church. Flat disregard of the teachings of the Church is a clear indicator of inauthenticity. "Whoever knows God listens to us," the first letter of John asserts, "and he who is not of God does not listen to us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error" (1 Jn. 4:6). This does not mean that justified disagreements with magisterial teachings are not possible. They are. But is means that the teachigns of the magisterium of the Church must always be seriously be taken into consideration and in cases of doubt enjoy presumption in their favor. The moral tradition is a major source for ethical insight. Therefore the Church is the necessary context for giving the Christian's moral life its identity.

-from Christian Ethics: Moral Theology in the Light of Vatican II - Volume Iby Peschke, Karl H. John F. Neale, the Mulberry House, 2000.

JMJ
6/15 - Eleventh Wednesday

It's been a while since we've had a vocation reflection, but I've asked Theologian in Training, our brand new deacon, to offer his vocation story.

***

I have been asked to write about vocations and since I find when speaking about vocations it is nearly impossible to speak about them without including myself, I ask your forgiveness for doing so.

I will be honest with you. When I first heard the call, my initial reaction was to run. I never readily embraced it, and fought it. Sure, I could lie and tell you I was happy and more than willing to accept such a call, but there is nothing about that which is true. In fact, I bet if you asked any seminarian their initial reaction they would tell you pretty much the same thing. Think about it, God has said He has called you, and as beautiful as that is, there is the part of you that says, "wait, that means I can't get married and have a family." Or, "what are You thinking picking me, have You seen me lately, do You really want me? Are You sure?" Yet, these reactions are normal, in fact, I worry about those that say they were ready and willing from day one and never had a single doubt in their mind. How can you not think about those things, how can you say willingly, "sure God, change my entire life, take it all, I will readily embrace all You have in store for me."

Know that I am not saying that this should be your reaction the more you discern but rather this seems to be a normal knee-jerk reaction to being called to embrace a life of service to God and to His Church. You are asked to die, to lay down your entire life for Him and His people, and to do it without looking back. Without "putting your hand to the plow and looking back." God calls and asks you for an answer. He is patient and can wait a long time, and if you do not jeopardize that vocation, He will persist and constantly remind you that He is calling you and is waiting for an answer. I remember when I left the seminary, and how strong He persisted and tried calling me back, and how hard I fought to ignore Him and to pretend as though I did not hear Him. Yet, there is only so long you can run, and so long you can resist, and only so long that you can drown a very loud voice out of your life. For, like it or not, the moment you are in prayer and everything is quiet you will hear that voice again. Yet, the voice will not be as persistent, nor will it be as urgent, but you will hear Him and He will whisper in your ear and say something very simple, He will say, "my child, I love you, why do you run from me, why are you trying to avoid me?" And you will do something different, you will respond, and you will understand. You will reach a point where things will make sense, and you will most likely weep. How can you not, trying to run from the one who created you and loved you so much that He sent His Son to die for you?

You know when I knew I was being called to be a priest? When I was laying outside of the Operating Room, about to face my second open-heart surgery. I had just finished praying with my mother, and then was left alone in the hallway, laying in a bed, knowing I was about be operated on, knowing all the pain and suffering I will have to go through again, remembering it all so vividly as though it had just happened the day before. Just laying there, losing all hope, and saying to myself, and saying to God, "I can't, I can't, I can't do this again, I don't want to do this again, my God please." And then something happened, I felt calm. Not just any calm, but a calmness that started at my feet and travelled through my entire body, head to toe I was calm, I was at peace. I then said to myself, "I can do this, yes I can," and that is all I remember.

After the surgery I did suffer, tremendously, but was given great consolation when my father would visit me in the ICU to play checkers. It was nice to spend time with him and to forget about everything, the pain, the surgery, the hospital, the medication, everything a 16 yr old would never want to think about nor want to have to endure.

I was glad to have had that time with my father and to treasure it immensely because shortly after I had left the hospital he was taken abruptly from us at the hands of another. The details are not important, nor suitable for a public forum, but suffice it say, the night we, as a family watched a movie together, the night before I had to have the staples removed from my pacemaker wound, would be the last night I would see my father alive. The next time I would see him would be in a casket.

As you can imagine the last person I wanted to talk to in my life was God, the last thing I wanted to think about was my vocation, in fact, I decided to become an atheist, or agnostic, at best, even though I would pray every night. However, a paradox existed in my life, because as much as I wanted to hate God, I found myself screaming and breaking down in front of a crucifix in the back of a local parish. I found the greatest consolation in the deepest of sufferings and my suffering only made sense in light of His. I fought Him and like Jacob wrestling the angel I was wrestling God and ultimately myself.

Eventually, I attended a retreat and that began my renewed search for God. I started to pray the rosary again, read the Scriptures, and contemplate my existence in light of this vast world. I attended a few more retreats and eventually spoke to a priest. I was, in my opinion, rushed into the seminary and before I knew it, in a new environment, and still a bit confused. I learned how to pray, and how to truly love God with the assistance of His Holy Mother Mary and the angels and saints. However, I found I still had things I needed to work out, so after two years, decided to take a leave of absence from the minor seminary, with the hopes and thoughts of never returning again.

It was only after I met a very holy and amazing priest that I even entertained the idea of pursuing a vocation again, and after discerning with the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate I came to see that I was being called to diocesan priesthood. It was made very clear to me, in a very beautiful manner. I won't go into details, but God was generous and was very clear in what He wanted and what He expected of me.

I understood what He was asking and followed up. After much difficulties and run-arounds I eventually returned to the seminary, a seminary I swore I would never in my life return to.

Today I am now an ordained deacon and could not be happier. As much as I wanted to hate God, He still wanted me and called me. He whispered in my ear and called me. in the silence of my life and the void from the pain I came to find God and in that learned to love Him and truly fall in love with Jesus and His Holy Mother. I learned none of us are worthy, and all of us want to run. But like a child, we return to our parents, and when we hear them calling we innocently shout: "I am here, I am coming, I will be right there," and when we get there, God opens His arms, embraces us tightly, and says "welcome back, my child, you know I love you and would never leave you alone. What I do I do because I know what is best for you, my child, if only you would listen, if only you would trust me." Let us return to Him and feel the warmth of His embrace and if we hear Him calling say, like Samuel "Speak Lord, your servant is listening," to which I add "and if you will not speak I will continue to listen."

God Bless