For those of you who are actively discerning, have you told your friends? If so, how do they react and how do you suggest dealing with them?

Yesterday, I went to Chicago to meet up with some friends from Communion and Liberation, and my one friend kept making comments about it. Some were just jokes like, "Good thing you are going to convent soon so we can get rid of you!" but some were borderline nasty (I think they were menat to be jokes, but they came out like that because she is from Poland and speaks English as a second language).

Then another friend kept saying things like, "You can't be girly anymore! No more pink! No more makeup! No more cute things!"

It's all so shallow! I didn't want to come right out and say that, so I said, "I think God will give me the grace to give up the color pink if I enter the convent and become His Bride." I was being sarcastic

Has anybody had any similar experiences with your friends?
Jen

I know what you mean. I fear those comments because I get them from all of my relatives already, so I haven't really told my friends. Besides, people have this fear-of-nuns complex that I'm afraid my friends will exhibit on me... like nuns are too pious to be real people, blah blah. I've had some people make nasty comments (people who have known about my discernment since I was little), so I just don't really talk to people about it anymore unless I have to (as in, unless they ask).

People don't understand the religious life- even really truly Catholic people. It's so weird to them. The only people who know I'm seriously dicerning are my two best friends (a guy and a girl) and my relatives (who only know because my parents told them. I didn't tell them). I don't plan on telling the rest... I guess they'll just find out when I'm gone.

I hope it all turns out well for you. Let's pray for each other, of course.

God bless

I think you should tell your friends. But oh I am suffering for that desicion. Bother the people who have been bothering me about it are non-catholics. everyone who is catholic that i have told are happy and supportive. I want to tell everyone but it can be hard. I think you should tell people even if you would suffer for it. Because you need to show that you want to be the bride of Christ and you are proud of it. Also how would you feel if your friend was going to become a nun and didnt tell you anything about it because she thought that you would reject her?
just my opinion. I think it is actually between you and God who you tell. Pray about it.

Last sunday was espcially bad for me. i got attcked by two people about my vocation. My grandfather was one of them he is not Catholic he is methodist. He said "Anyone who would let a girl in a 16 must be an accult". and he said "that woman must be pure evil, i know she is" other horrible things were said. i just feel like such a bad rep for nuns.

i've never had a problem whenever i've told friends...even the non-catholic ones

they don't understand it, but they were supportive....

What's funny is that these friends are ones who are pretty religious. I would think they would understand, but my Polish friend always tells me things like, "You will destroy the convent" (not sure of the sense of "destroy") or she'll ask me why can't I just be consecrated through Memores Domini of Communion and Liberation. I always tell her it's because I feel called to be a Sister ad not just a consecrated member of the laity.

What's even more random is that the people who respect the decision are barely Catholic or not even Catholic at all. My best friend in high school was a guy, and when we contemplated being more than friends, we decided against dating for 2 reasons: because if we broke up, our friendship would probably be ruined and because I was pretty sure that I was going to be a nun. He totally respected that decision even though he barely practiced Catholicism at the time (and probably still barely does today).

Hello! Wow, I have gotten so many random responses to my vocation and during this time of discernment. I have friends who are Catholic, Christian and other who have been extremely supportive of me.... while at the same time I have had many people not supportive of me.

It's hard at times... I have had friends laugh about it all, joke with me and so on... Friends who just lack understanding and think lowly of the religous life, friends who have just had numerous questions (all of which I was willing to answere in order to help them), friends who have gotten mad at me and continue to ask to this day "Why Marjorie, why? Why are you doing this to me?" and so on.

Anyway, it can be hard at times... Especially when my family acts all weird about it. My mom is supportive, my dad recently found out and gets emotional about it, my other siblings joke about it saying "Marjorie, why don't you just go and leave for the convent now?", others asking about it and so on.

It's all about God though and we musn't allow others harsh feelings at times to take us down. God is our strength, our everything, our best friend! For me, my friends and family can say whatever they want, but, in the end I am doing Gods will.

I agree with Karin... I don't think it is wise to not tell friends... Because what does that say when you do leave? I know, I know, it can be oh so hard. Trust me, I go to a public school and definitly am not treated lightly about religion, I guess it's just not a cool thing in their eyes. None of that matters though, because we are alive to serve God and others, to prepare for heaven. In doing so we must make sacrifices and offer them up to God, no matter how hard it may be. Jesus died for us, isn't it worth it to take the pain of the world and offer it back up to God?

Anyway, thats all I have to say! Have a lovely day all and may God bless you!

Love in Christ,
Marjorie

J-Girl :: Pray for the conversion of your friend's hearts who are not practicing or arn't baptized! Maybe by your willingness to say "Yes" to the call, they will be able to reflect on their own lives and see what is God's will for them. They could come back to the faith ... keep praying.

I actually think it is important to tell friends because this something special to you. I kept my discernment from my friend Elizabeth, because she doesn't like religion even if she was raised in the Church and went to Catholic school all her life. But when I told her, she was a little upset at me because she knew I cherished the sisterhood and felt like I lied to her since I didn't tell her. So I wouldn't not tell friends, but then again, it is what the Lord prompts you to do. I met a person while working at the Soup Kitchen and never thought that I would tell them -- it turns out they had many questions about the process of discernment.

Prayers and love,
Mel