So way back in about 8th grade in the month of Jan., I went to a youth quake night (basically like lifeteen) and we talked about depression. I was never depressed ever. I had just got back in tune with my faith in 7th grade, so I was still growing and was like a young sapling. So that night, I came home and I went up to my room and I was consumed with an "agony" I felt so wretched and that I should die... I didn't feel like myself at all... So, I took my hands and gripped them around my neck... I wanted to kill myself... I attempted tightened my grip so as to cut off breathing, but I had no strength. This entire time while bawling, I was praying and asking God to save me and help me. I kept looking at the crucifix in my room.
I looked back at the whole thing, and I saw the devil manipulating me like a "puppet"... my hands were not my own... but God did not let me perish at the hands of the evil one. He was the one who took away my strength.
Fast forward to current times, I look back on the event, and I can only imagine what kind of threat I really will be to the evil one, so much of a threat he wanted me gone. I look back again and again, I can just see how much the devil hates me! He wanted me dead long ago, he has planted doubts so as to keep me away from Holy Mother Church, he has made me doubt my vocation as to keep me away from becoming a Bride of Christ, and has even resorted to attacking me at prayer! The evil one just wants me gone!
I keep thinking about all these things, and I keep thinking... "Wow... if God has saved me from this all and kept me to this day, what wonderful and incredible things He has planned for me!"
I can only imagine what graces and gifts lie within the monastery waiting for me...
I can only imagine what great things the Lord has prepared for me, and still I will never know until it is done.

I love to think about this all... it makes me tear up and cry and just feel so incredibly thankful for all that He has done! My heart sings out "Praised be Jesus Christ! Blessed be God!"
I am for Him.

God is so cool!

God is so cool! AND YOU ARE SO COOL!

Something funny I was just thinking about: I was attacked majorly while praying the Rosary while in Rome... and the Rosary I was praying with has lots of scratches and such that were definatly not there before... and you can tell they look new too...
Just makes me think of how much of a weapon the Rosary really is....

Obviously it's a pretty cool one since we celebrate Our Lady's Victory through the power of the Rosary at Lepanto on Friday!

Praise God that He brought you through such a difficult time! Prayers for you and your vocation.

I love remembering this...