Hey everybody just noticed this thread was opened and wanted to say hi.
My wife and I got married 4mths ago. We love it! There is never a dull day.
Full Version: Marriage
congratulations!
Hey all! Here's a hiya from a newlywed (almost 2 months 
)
I'm not sure how much I can help, but so far I love being married! My husband and I met through the movement CL. I'd been with the group in Evansville for a few years and he came around about 2 years ago. Now, I know this might freak some of you out, but stay with me here. We dated for 4 months and were engaged for 10, but I've never been more certain of anything. Before we began dating, I had been praying to be open to whatever God had planned for me. When he asked me out, I was completely honest and told him that I would, but if at anytime I felt I was being called to a religious vocation, then I had to follow that. He was completely supportive from the very beginning, and it was unbelievable how much God revealed to us both in such a short period of time. I knew that my husband's love for me was real when he told me that every time he prayed he gave me to God. He told God that he wanted me follow God's call, even if it was not with him. (Is he awesome or what? he he)
)I'm not sure how much I can help, but so far I love being married! My husband and I met through the movement CL. I'd been with the group in Evansville for a few years and he came around about 2 years ago. Now, I know this might freak some of you out, but stay with me here. We dated for 4 months and were engaged for 10, but I've never been more certain of anything. Before we began dating, I had been praying to be open to whatever God had planned for me. When he asked me out, I was completely honest and told him that I would, but if at anytime I felt I was being called to a religious vocation, then I had to follow that. He was completely supportive from the very beginning, and it was unbelievable how much God revealed to us both in such a short period of time. I knew that my husband's love for me was real when he told me that every time he prayed he gave me to God. He told God that he wanted me follow God's call, even if it was not with him. (Is he awesome or what? he he)
By the way, I was reading the comments about weddings, and I have to say that I loved ours!
It was huge, but so incredibly prayerful. Our wedding party was small (my sister and his 2 brothers), but we had 4 priests and 500 guests. The entire wedding was just like a Mass. We processed in (servers, bridal party, my husband w/ his parents, me with my parents, and then the priests) to an opening song that the entire congregation sang with us. All of the songs we chose (including the recessional) were in the songbooks and we listed the numbers in our programs so everyone could sing with us. And they did!
The celebration after was a blast! We had a hayride with us and all the kids (actually we had to take 2 trips b/c there were so many kids...you should've seen me in my dress and all the hay!! ) Then at the dance, we bought 500 glow sticks, and everyone was having SO MUCH FUN!
What a blessed day!
It was huge, but so incredibly prayerful. Our wedding party was small (my sister and his 2 brothers), but we had 4 priests and 500 guests. The entire wedding was just like a Mass. We processed in (servers, bridal party, my husband w/ his parents, me with my parents, and then the priests) to an opening song that the entire congregation sang with us. All of the songs we chose (including the recessional) were in the songbooks and we listed the numbers in our programs so everyone could sing with us. And they did!
The celebration after was a blast! We had a hayride with us and all the kids (actually we had to take 2 trips b/c there were so many kids...you should've seen me in my dress and all the hay!!
) Then at the dance, we bought 500 glow sticks, and everyone was having SO MUCH FUN! What a blessed day!
aw 
thats awesome! welcome to the thread!!
thats awesome! welcome to the thread!!
QUOTE(Lil Red @ Dec 15 2005, 02:51 PM)
[snip]
ps. didacus, i hope you don't mind that when i'm quoting you i'm changing your spelling mistakes!
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ps. didacus, i hope you don't mind that when i'm quoting you i'm changing your spelling mistakes!
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QUOTE(Lil Red @ Dec 15 2005, 03:24 PM)
ours was small, private ceremony.
my wedding dress was handmade by my mom & grandma.
we only had about 50-60 people there. it was beautiful, in my opinion. we didn't spend a lot of money on the wedding or reception, just made it a gathering of family & close friends.
i think big wedding are okay. but if they get too into what everything looks like, then it's glorifying the wedding and not really preparing for the marriage.
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my wedding dress was handmade by my mom & grandma.
we only had about 50-60 people there. it was beautiful, in my opinion. we didn't spend a lot of money on the wedding or reception, just made it a gathering of family & close friends.
i think big wedding are okay. but if they get too into what everything looks like, then it's glorifying the wedding and not really preparing for the marriage.
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i'm with you on the small side. Wedding saw about 70, maybe 80 peopel total. Everyone had fun, and we all have good memories.
Our take on things is that we shared our wedding day with those who are genuinely the closest to us. we didn't spend our wedding day/evening with people who we see just once every four years and that might be family but we don't really know.
Actually, almost all the people who were at our wedding are people we see all the time!
What was so awesome about it was that everyone was touched by our wedding and how sacred the entire ceremony was. (We actually received a few thank you cards from people because they were so moved by it that they wanted to thank us for reminding them that Marriage is a blessed Sacrament and not a production).
What was so awesome about it was that everyone was touched by our wedding and how sacred the entire ceremony was. (We actually received a few thank you cards from people because they were so moved by it that they wanted to thank us for reminding them that Marriage is a blessed Sacrament and not a production).
QUOTE(emalouhow @ Dec 16 2005, 09:03 AM)
[snip]
(We actually received a few thank you cards from people because they were so moved by it that they wanted to thank us for reminding them that Marriage is a blessed Sacrament and not a production).
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(We actually received a few thank you cards from people because they were so moved by it that they wanted to thank us for reminding them that Marriage is a blessed Sacrament and not a production).
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Wow! that's great! And so true. I bet you five shililngs that the ceremony was simplistic?!?
The simple things in life are often the most beautiful.
QUOTE(emalouhow @ Dec 16 2005, 09:03 AM)
Actually, almost all the people who were at our wedding are people we see all the time!
What was so awesome about it was that everyone was touched by our wedding and how sacred the entire ceremony was. (We actually received a few thank you cards from people because they were so moved by it that they wanted to thank us for reminding them that Marriage is a blessed Sacrament and not a production).
[right][snapback]828029[/snapback][/right]
What was so awesome about it was that everyone was touched by our wedding and how sacred the entire ceremony was. (We actually received a few thank you cards from people because they were so moved by it that they wanted to thank us for reminding them that Marriage is a blessed Sacrament and not a production).
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very cool!
thank you for sharing another perspective! 
QUOTE(Didacus @ Dec 16 2005, 10:53 AM)
Wow! that's great! And so true. I bet you five shililngs that the ceremony was simplistic?!?
The simple things in life are often the most beautiful.
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The simple things in life are often the most beautiful.
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Maybe this is a repeat from the thread. Haven't had time to read the whole thing....
Marriage and the Religious Life are so closely related!!! Our vocations really complement each other. That's why the topic of marriage is welcomed in the Vocation Threads!
Ok, gang, I've not read the whole thread yet, but I'm checking in as one of the married folks.
I've been married 11 years, and its been quite the amazing journey. Hope to hang in here and contribute to the convo.
I've been married 11 years, and its been quite the amazing journey. Hope to hang in here and contribute to the convo.
Keep it up, talk about Catholic married life! I want to listen, I didn't grow up in a Catholic home, I doon't know what it's like.....
QUOTE(Norseman82 @ Nov 25 2005, 06:59 PM)
There are some very troubling attitudes I've found among Catholics about marriage - some due to creeping Calvinistic influences, some due to suburban snotty cliquishness, some due to the lesbo-feminazi heresy that was born in the advent of the "contraception culture" of the 1960s and 1970s. I will debunk several of them here from scripture, official church teaching, and from personal stories I've been told.
1) First, I AM A CATHOLIC, NOT A CALVINIST. I don't believe in a micromanaging God; He gave me free will. See Sirach 15:11-20. Therefore, I'm getting a little tired of being second-guessed for wanting to get married or being told that I need to wait for a girl that God specially prepared for me. What official evidence does anyone have that God chooses who our spouses are or if we will even get married (I'm not talking about knowing who we will eventually marry or if we will get married). Such manipulation is dangerous in two senses:
a) Using religion to micromanage and manipulate, or to think you have some private line to God as far as to what He wants for everyone's lives, is a hallmark of religious cults, not the true Church;
b) Constantly second-guessing can lead to a loss of confidence and inability to make a decision and paranoia and who knows what other mental problems. I don't know if that's acceptable for females, but for MALES that can be deadly.
Besides, as someone once posted here, as long as a person is not sinning or going against Church policy, WHO IS ANYONE TO QUESTON WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE FOLLOWING GOD'S WILL????
Also, CCC 2230: "When they become adults, children have the right and duty to choose their profession and state of life. They should assume their new responsibilites within a trusting relationship with their parents, willingly asking and receiving their advice and counsel. Parents should be careful not to exert pressure on their chidlren either in the choice of a profession or in that of a spouse". Get it? Our state of life and who we marry is LEFT TO OUR CHOICE. This comes straight from the Cathechism! If anyone has a problem with that, it is the Church they have a problem with, not me.
2) YOU NEED TO BE CALLED TO MARRIAGE??? If we start to adopt a policy that only certain people are called to be married, that leads to elitism. One of my friends calls it "marriage Jansenism". Besides, the Cathechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 1603 states that "The vocation of marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator". Marriage is part of human nature, and people who try to restrict it are messing with human nature. If you disagree with this, you are not disagree with me but with the Church, whether out of lack of knowledge or outright heresy.
3) THE WHOLE "THAT IS NOT A VALID REASON TO GET MARRIED" CONROVERSY (see previous posts in this thread). Excuse me, but who appointed anyone the official arbitrer of what is not a good reason to get married? It was said that "loneliness" or "fear of dying alone" is not a reason to get married. BALONEY!!!!!! IT MOST CERTAINLY IS!!!!! Here are the reasons:
a) I wonder how many people who say such hurtful things themselves have families and are in no danger of dying alone? They should put themselves in the other person's shoes and learn what life is like on the other side of the tracks, otherwise they are being hypocritical. Besides, who are they to impose the burden of loneliness and dying alone on another person who is eligible to marry in the Church? Laying heavy burdens on people and not lifting a finger to carry them is a characteristic not of a Christian, but of a pharisee (Mt. 23:3-4). Remember what Christ said about pharisees? Read the rest of Matthew 23. He called them "frauds" (v. 15), "blind guides" (v.24), "whitewashed tombs" (v. 27), "vipers nests" and "brood of serpents" (v. 33).
b) I remember a seminarian stating that the hard part about celibacy is not the physical part, but projecting yourself into your 40s and 50s and seeing other people in your age group with children and grandchildren. So if loneliness and lack of family is something to consider when discerning a vocation to a religious state of life (and whether or not to be a non-religious single, since both have to practice celibacy) , then why would anyone deny it as a factor in wantng to get married???? Such illogic astounds me!!!!!!! Yes, Paul said that the unmarried can serve the Lord better (1 Cor. 7:32-35), but he also said that it is better to be married than to be on fire if one cannot exercise self-control (1 Cor. 7:8-9). Did not Christ Himself say that "not everyone is given to do so" regarding accepting the teaching of being better not to marry (Matthew 19:10-11)? Did he not refer to people who FREELY embrace celibacy (I'm paraphrasing here due differing translations of Matthew 19:12)? So if Christ and Paul acknowledge that not everyone can handle celibacy, then why can't people today realize that? It boggles my mind!!!
Now, I'm not saying that loneliness can lead to hasty decisions, but it is quite another thing to fault a person for taking steps to prep themselves for marriage because they don't want to be alone for the rest of their lives.
4) YOU'RE DESPERATE. While I agree that it can lead to hasty decisions, I need to ask the following:
a) What is the Christian response to someone in a desperate situation? Is it avoidance? Mocking? Or is it to meet their needs? See Acts 6:1-6.
b) Just as we cannot complain that a child's stomach is grumbling from hunger if we haven't fed him/her, I really wonder how much desperaton in other people is caused by us by our ignoring and rejecting them and whether it is really valid to complain about it????
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1) First, I AM A CATHOLIC, NOT A CALVINIST. I don't believe in a micromanaging God; He gave me free will. See Sirach 15:11-20. Therefore, I'm getting a little tired of being second-guessed for wanting to get married or being told that I need to wait for a girl that God specially prepared for me. What official evidence does anyone have that God chooses who our spouses are or if we will even get married (I'm not talking about knowing who we will eventually marry or if we will get married). Such manipulation is dangerous in two senses:
a) Using religion to micromanage and manipulate, or to think you have some private line to God as far as to what He wants for everyone's lives, is a hallmark of religious cults, not the true Church;
b) Constantly second-guessing can lead to a loss of confidence and inability to make a decision and paranoia and who knows what other mental problems. I don't know if that's acceptable for females, but for MALES that can be deadly.
Besides, as someone once posted here, as long as a person is not sinning or going against Church policy, WHO IS ANYONE TO QUESTON WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE FOLLOWING GOD'S WILL????
Also, CCC 2230: "When they become adults, children have the right and duty to choose their profession and state of life. They should assume their new responsibilites within a trusting relationship with their parents, willingly asking and receiving their advice and counsel. Parents should be careful not to exert pressure on their chidlren either in the choice of a profession or in that of a spouse". Get it? Our state of life and who we marry is LEFT TO OUR CHOICE. This comes straight from the Cathechism! If anyone has a problem with that, it is the Church they have a problem with, not me.
2) YOU NEED TO BE CALLED TO MARRIAGE??? If we start to adopt a policy that only certain people are called to be married, that leads to elitism. One of my friends calls it "marriage Jansenism". Besides, the Cathechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 1603 states that "The vocation of marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator". Marriage is part of human nature, and people who try to restrict it are messing with human nature. If you disagree with this, you are not disagree with me but with the Church, whether out of lack of knowledge or outright heresy.
3) THE WHOLE "THAT IS NOT A VALID REASON TO GET MARRIED" CONROVERSY (see previous posts in this thread). Excuse me, but who appointed anyone the official arbitrer of what is not a good reason to get married? It was said that "loneliness" or "fear of dying alone" is not a reason to get married. BALONEY!!!!!! IT MOST CERTAINLY IS!!!!! Here are the reasons:
a) I wonder how many people who say such hurtful things themselves have families and are in no danger of dying alone? They should put themselves in the other person's shoes and learn what life is like on the other side of the tracks, otherwise they are being hypocritical. Besides, who are they to impose the burden of loneliness and dying alone on another person who is eligible to marry in the Church? Laying heavy burdens on people and not lifting a finger to carry them is a characteristic not of a Christian, but of a pharisee (Mt. 23:3-4). Remember what Christ said about pharisees? Read the rest of Matthew 23. He called them "frauds" (v. 15), "blind guides" (v.24), "whitewashed tombs" (v. 27), "vipers nests" and "brood of serpents" (v. 33).
b) I remember a seminarian stating that the hard part about celibacy is not the physical part, but projecting yourself into your 40s and 50s and seeing other people in your age group with children and grandchildren. So if loneliness and lack of family is something to consider when discerning a vocation to a religious state of life (and whether or not to be a non-religious single, since both have to practice celibacy) , then why would anyone deny it as a factor in wantng to get married???? Such illogic astounds me!!!!!!! Yes, Paul said that the unmarried can serve the Lord better (1 Cor. 7:32-35), but he also said that it is better to be married than to be on fire if one cannot exercise self-control (1 Cor. 7:8-9). Did not Christ Himself say that "not everyone is given to do so" regarding accepting the teaching of being better not to marry (Matthew 19:10-11)? Did he not refer to people who FREELY embrace celibacy (I'm paraphrasing here due differing translations of Matthew 19:12)? So if Christ and Paul acknowledge that not everyone can handle celibacy, then why can't people today realize that? It boggles my mind!!!
Now, I'm not saying that loneliness can lead to hasty decisions, but it is quite another thing to fault a person for taking steps to prep themselves for marriage because they don't want to be alone for the rest of their lives.
4) YOU'RE DESPERATE. While I agree that it can lead to hasty decisions, I need to ask the following:
a) What is the Christian response to someone in a desperate situation? Is it avoidance? Mocking? Or is it to meet their needs? See Acts 6:1-6.
b) Just as we cannot complain that a child's stomach is grumbling from hunger if we haven't fed him/her, I really wonder how much desperaton in other people is caused by us by our ignoring and rejecting them and whether it is really valid to complain about it????
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You made a lot of valid points, it's sad to see how some people have the "Marriage is for me, and not for you" attuide. Of course, we should pray for one another that we all will make the right decisions.
After much searching, I am going to be engaged after Christmas! I believe that God wants me to marry this woman. We met on Catholicmatch.com and were talking for a while. Then, I decided to move back home to be closer to my family and her! This is such an exciting time for me - I would say us, but she doesn’t know I am going to propose to her yet
I feel that family is one of the most important blessings bestowed on us. That may be our immediate peeps or an extended family like our Church!
I feel that family is one of the most important blessings bestowed on us. That may be our immediate peeps or an extended family like our Church!
QUOTE(Azriel @ Dec 16 2005, 11:04 AM)
Ok, gang, I've not read the whole thread yet, but I'm checking in as one of the married folks.
I've been married 11 years, and its been quite the amazing journey. Hope to hang in here and contribute to the convo.
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I've been married 11 years, and its been quite the amazing journey. Hope to hang in here and contribute to the convo.
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11years!
Whoo-hoo!
You've been maried the longest so far on this thread... (but I haven't read the whole thread myself, so someone correct me if I'm wrong) You must be a hardened veteran by now!
What is your fondest memory from 11 years of marriage (children's birth and wedding day/anniversary aside)?
What advice would you have for a sophmore of 5 years?
QUOTE(eddieloudog @ Dec 16 2005, 11:46 AM)
After much searching, I am going to be engaged after Christmas! I believe that God wants me to marry this woman. We met on Catholicmatch.com and were talking for a while. Then, I decided to move back home to be closer to my family and her! This is such an exciting time for me - I would say us, but she doesn’t know I am going to propose to her yet
I feel that family is one of the most important blessings bestowed on us. That may be our immediate peeps or an extended family like our Church!
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I feel that family is one of the most important blessings bestowed on us. That may be our immediate peeps or an extended family like our Church!
[right][snapback]828205[/snapback][/right]
Nice... lovely...
Spill the rest of the beans man... come on now (I think you're like the second man in here... )
How old is you? How old is your chick-to-be?
What clinched the decision for you? Plans aspirations and dreams?
Spill it!
Spill it!!
Spill it!!!
QUOTE(srmarymichael @ Dec 16 2005, 10:11 AM)
Maybe this is a repeat from the thread. Haven't had time to read the whole thing....
Marriage and the Religious Life are so closely related!!! Our vocations really complement each other. That's why the topic of marriage is welcomed in the Vocation Threads!
[right][snapback]828093[/snapback][/right]
Marriage and the Religious Life are so closely related!!! Our vocations really complement each other. That's why the topic of marriage is welcomed in the Vocation Threads!
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marriage is a vocation
(i think i know what you mean but it irritates me a little when people talk about "vocations" as if you only have a vocation if you are a priest, brother or sister.... and i know you know.... you just kinda contradicted yourself )QUOTE(Azriel @ Dec 16 2005, 11:04 AM)
Ok, gang, I've not read the whole thread yet, but I'm checking in as one of the married folks.
I've been married 11 years, and its been quite the amazing journey. Hope to hang in here and contribute to the convo.
[right][snapback]828142[/snapback][/right]
I've been married 11 years, and its been quite the amazing journey. Hope to hang in here and contribute to the convo.
[right][snapback]828142[/snapback][/right]
yay! welcome welcome welcome!
Married for four years here.. Big wedding, use NFP... Have 2 kids (2 yrs, and 2 months)...
Anything I am missing??
Oh, and Fishmaker is my husband...
My wedding album is still online
Anything I am missing??
Oh, and Fishmaker is my husband...
My wedding album is still online
I have been married for 10 years. I have 2 kids ages 3 and 2. One on the way expected due date is late April/early May. Ask away.
Here's a day in my marriage as told through smilies:
Before kids =
After Kids =
What's not to love.
Here's a day in my marriage as told through smilies:
Before kids =
After Kids =
What's not to love.
QUOTE(prose @ Dec 16 2005, 12:17 PM)
[snip]
My wedding album is still online
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My wedding album is still online
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link?
LINK!
LINK!!
(am I being too loud... I do tend to get carried away at times)
Ok, i'll spill it. I am 31 and she is 33. We hit it off right from the start, prob cuz she is a Catholic. I have dated so many Agnostics and (belch!) non-practicing Catholics; it was just like - BAM!
We started to just email each other and then meet finally after like 4 months. Then I met the family and she met mine. Now it just feels right. God gave us to each other. I know that sounds corney, but it's true. He knows what each of us needs even before we ask and gives it to us. What can I say, I am in Love.
Ok, more good stuff. I am from NYC and will prob propose to her in Central park. Maybe after a carriage ride! My Dad used to work at the Plaza Hotel; B4 Trump bought the place and gutted it. Then the Fool turned it into condos or summin like that!
She has no idea yet, so my plans are to move back and get established there. I got a cool job in Boston, thank God!
Anyhoo....
That's about it.
We started to just email each other and then meet finally after like 4 months. Then I met the family and she met mine. Now it just feels right. God gave us to each other. I know that sounds corney, but it's true. He knows what each of us needs even before we ask and gives it to us. What can I say, I am in Love.
Ok, more good stuff. I am from NYC and will prob propose to her in Central park. Maybe after a carriage ride! My Dad used to work at the Plaza Hotel; B4 Trump bought the place and gutted it. Then the Fool turned it into condos or summin like that!
She has no idea yet, so my plans are to move back and get established there. I got a cool job in Boston, thank God!
Anyhoo....
That's about it.
Umm.. family pics are at:
http://209.115.163.10/~rosefam/gallery/vie...ggy_Chad&page=1
username: rosefam
password: pictures
Some wedding photos at:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/arpeggior/al...h_rbGEBHCvByoQk
Engagement photos:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/arpeggior/al...hMwbGEBGxFmqjKe
http://209.115.163.10/~rosefam/gallery/vie...ggy_Chad&page=1
username: rosefam
password: pictures
Some wedding photos at:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/arpeggior/al...h_rbGEBHCvByoQk
Engagement photos:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/arpeggior/al...hMwbGEBGxFmqjKe
Gotta run! At school know and have to tak test.
hopefully I can spell by then!
hopefully I can spell by then!
QUOTE(eddieloudog @ Dec 16 2005, 01:25 PM)
My Dad used to work at the Plaza Hotel; B4 Trump bought the place and gutted it. Then the Fool turned it into condos or summin like that!
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It's sad how the Plaza Hotel no longer exists.
QUOTE(Didacus @ Dec 16 2005, 11:59 AM)
What is your fondest memory from 11 years of marriage (children's birth and wedding day/anniversary aside)?
What advice would you have for a sophmore of 5 years?
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What advice would you have for a sophmore of 5 years?
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yes, i'd like to know as well!
QUOTE(hugheyforlife @ Dec 15 2005, 02:19 PM)
[snip]
okay okay okay.... we wont ruin it and ill go look for your story
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okay okay okay.... we wont ruin it and ill go look for your story [right][snapback]827103[/snapback][/right]
found it.. even bumped it!
http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?s...ndpost&p=612554
didacus, that was a very awesome post that you bumped!
i love all the stories! thanks so much to all of you who contributed! I think it's really cool that we have this thread b/c, as we all know, not every one is called to be religious. This is awesome!
yay! i love this thread. and didacus im going to read your story now.... *runs out*
didacus that was a beautiful post.
i hope i find someone as equally awesome as you.
i hope i find someone as equally awesome as you.
[quote=srmarymichael,Dec 16 2005, 11:11 AM]
Maybe this is a repeat from the thread. Haven't had time to read the whole thing....
Marriage and the Religious Life are so closely related!!! Our vocations really complement each other. That's why the topic of marriage is welcomed in the Vocation Threads!
My husband and I will celebrate 14 years of marriage in February.
Maybe this is a repeat from the thread. Haven't had time to read the whole thing....
Marriage and the Religious Life are so closely related!!! Our vocations really complement each other. That's why the topic of marriage is welcomed in the Vocation Threads!
My husband and I will celebrate 14 years of marriage in February.
I'm engaged to a wonderful girl and planning to get betrothed in the Church as soon as possible We've known each other lightly for six years and have been dating for 7 months now.. it will be a couple years before we get married though.
My view on love as an act of angelic willpower, i.e. a decision made in one moment that lasts forever, is what gives me hope for my marriage and everything... but yeah, I like to reject that whole fated-soul-mate concept... if I was looking for the comparatively best girl on the planet for me, I would have to try out what, like 3 billion of them, to be sure. No, this isn't about whether she's better than any possible other girl, this is about a love for one individual girl that I am willing to commit to with an act of will to last my whole life (or at least her whole life! haha). If there is some girl out there who is "more" compatible with me, who I would "fit" better with or something, well-- I am right now rejecting her for the rest of my life (or again, like I said, the rest of hers ). I am choosing this girl, there is no second guessing. I have never met a girl I want more, but if I did it doesn't matter to me. I'm not looking for the relative best, I'm choosing her with total disregard as to what any other girl on this planet is like-- it doesn't matter to me all I know or care about is what this one girl is like
And while marriage is a vocation in that it is a state of life, it is the default vocation, the natural vocation. religious vocations are super-natural vocations that actually have a real calling, a real positive demand from God that the person called has to actually actively answer. it is in the absence of such a call to the supernatural vocation that the marriage vocation is the state of life you ought to accept and seek out.
We've known each other lightly for six years and have been dating for 7 months now.. it will be a couple years before we get married though.My view on love as an act of angelic willpower, i.e. a decision made in one moment that lasts forever, is what gives me hope for my marriage and everything
... but yeah, I like to reject that whole fated-soul-mate concept... if I was looking for the comparatively best girl on the planet for me, I would have to try out what, like 3 billion of them, to be sure. No, this isn't about whether she's better than any possible other girl, this is about a love for one individual girl that I am willing to commit to with an act of will to last my whole life (or at least her whole life! haha). If there is some girl out there who is "more" compatible with me, who I would "fit" better with or something, well-- I am right now rejecting her for the rest of my life (or again, like I said, the rest of hers ). I am choosing this girl, there is no second guessing. I have never met a girl I want more, but if I did it doesn't matter to me. I'm not looking for the relative best, I'm choosing her with total disregard as to what any other girl on this planet is like-- it doesn't matter to me all I know or care about is what this one girl is like And while marriage is a vocation in that it is a state of life, it is the default vocation, the natural vocation. religious vocations are super-natural vocations that actually have a real calling, a real positive demand from God that the person called has to actually actively answer. it is in the absence of such a call to the supernatural vocation that the marriage vocation is the state of life you ought to accept and seek out.
Awww...all this marriage discussion makes me happy! God bless all you venerable PMers who are married (or on your way becoming married!).
God bless all you venerable PMers who are married (or on your way becoming married!).
Last night at Vespers, the following was read from Ephesians...
I smiled thinking about how a feminist would respond to hearing that verse read by a bunch of monks!
It got me thinking though. When we were at the Vigil at WYD, the Holy Father talked about submission. "Submission becomes union, because he to whom we submit is Love. In this way submission acquires a meaning, because it does not impose anything on us from the outside, but liberates us deep within." So St. Paul's comments are refering to the kind of submission which allows us to stretch out our arms to be nailed to the crucified Christ (as we are buried with Him at baptism) in order to be raised with Him. It's the kind of irony that the world can't understand, but it makes a marriage...or any other vocation for that matter. I know JPII commented on Ephesians 5 much more eloquently...I'll have to find his words and post them.
QUOTE
5 Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. 6
22
Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord.
23
For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body.
24
As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.
25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her
26
to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word,
27
that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
28
So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29
For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church,
30
because we are members of his body.
31
"For this reason a man shall leave (his) father and (his) mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
32
This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.
33
In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.
22
Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord.
23
For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body.
24
As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.
25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her
26
to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word,
27
that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
28
So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29
For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church,
30
because we are members of his body.
31
"For this reason a man shall leave (his) father and (his) mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
32
This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.
33
In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.
I smiled thinking about how a feminist would respond to hearing that verse read by a bunch of monks!
It got me thinking though. When we were at the Vigil at WYD, the Holy Father talked about submission. "Submission becomes union, because he to whom we submit is Love. In this way submission acquires a meaning, because it does not impose anything on us from the outside, but liberates us deep within." So St. Paul's comments are refering to the kind of submission which allows us to stretch out our arms to be nailed to the crucified Christ (as we are buried with Him at baptism) in order to be raised with Him. It's the kind of irony that the world can't understand, but it makes a marriage...or any other vocation for that matter. I know JPII commented on Ephesians 5 much more eloquently...I'll have to find his words and post them.
My wife is my strength. My child is a blessing beyond true comprehension.
Oh my, I forgot to say that I am almost engaged! I know that my boyfriend has the ring (He can't keep a secret) but all he's said is that it will be before September so
God bless-
LGLG
God bless-
LGLG
It would be difficult for me to continue anything is my wife was taken from me. She is my strength as well.
And we are mutually devoted to one another... The problem nowadays is that people confuse devotion with servitude, and mix in concepts of slavery in there. Hog-wash (or whatever), that's not how it works.. no in a long shot!
And we are mutually devoted to one another... The problem nowadays is that people confuse devotion with servitude, and mix in concepts of slavery in there. Hog-wash (or whatever), that's not how it works.. no in a long shot!
Marriage is a worthy calling and challange. It truly helps one grow in holiness.
im so glad all of you have come into this thread.... yall are support in just being here... the wait is long and hard at times but i have to remember that when i hand it all to God is the only time I can receive... so thats what im doing one day at a time. 
Hmmmm, what does everyone think about age differences in marriage? My friend (aged 22) recently told me that she and her boyfriend are seriously considering marrying. He is almost 13 years older than her. My first reaction was that its such a big age gap. But they do seem to be in love, they are both strong practising Catholics as well. They have quite a lot in common, except he has been working for how ever long, and she is starting full time work next year...(just finished university.) I think they've known each other for ages...
Any thoughts? I'm a bit worried that I reacted in the wrong way when she told me.
(btw - I didn't realise that they were boyfriend and girlfriend, which added to the surprise. They do a lot of churchy things together, but I'd never thought of them as a couple.)
Any thoughts? I'm a bit worried that I reacted in the wrong way when she told me.
(btw - I didn't realise that they were boyfriend and girlfriend, which added to the surprise. They do a lot of churchy things together, but I'd never thought of them as a couple.)
for a very long time i was wary of relationships spanning gaps of more than 3 or 4 years... and that was pushing it. but after having fallen head over heels for someone 6 years older and seeing others fall in love with a difference of 10 years... i believe anything is possible with God and so long as the Lord is calling them together, the age does not matter (to an extent).
QUOTE(eddieloudog @ Dec 16 2005, 12:25 PM)
I have dated so many Agnostics and (belch!) non-practicing Catholics; [right][snapback]828309[/snapback][/right]
Excuse me... but did you just belch here?
Okay, I'm here. Married 14 years... three kids-- 9, 7 and 2.
Are any of the married couples here part of a group within the Church together? And how does it help your relationship?
My husband and I are both part of Communion and Liberation (a movement within the Church....if you want to know more check out the thread in the Open Mic phorem). We actually met through the movement, and being a part of it together has blessed us in many ways. It has opened us up to see the incredible blessings we have been given in our lives. Being a part of this together has also given us a intensity and openness to life we didn't have before. It is a wonderful blessing to be open with your spouse in this way. Together, we can stand in front of everything and know that the struggles we face are not the totality of our lives.
My husband and I are both part of Communion and Liberation (a movement within the Church....if you want to know more check out the thread in the Open Mic phorem). We actually met through the movement, and being a part of it together has blessed us in many ways. It has opened us up to see the incredible blessings we have been given in our lives. Being a part of this together has also given us a intensity and openness to life we didn't have before. It is a wonderful blessing to be open with your spouse in this way. Together, we can stand in front of everything and know that the struggles we face are not the totality of our lives.
I randomly stumbled across this - I thought that this thread might like it
QUOTE
Dear friends in Christ: As you know you are about to enter into a union which is most sacred and most serious, a union which was established by God himself. By it, he gave to man a share in the greatest work of creation, the work of the continuation of the human race. And in this way he sanctified human love and enabled man and woman to help each other live as children of God, by sharing a common life under his fatherly care.
Because God himself is thus its author, marriage is of its very nature a holy institution, requiring of those who enter into it a complete and unreserved giving of self. But Christ our Lord added to the holiness of marriage an even deeper meaning and a higher beauty. He referred to the love of marriage to describe his own love for his Church, that is, for the people of God whom he redeemed by his own blood. And so he gave to Christians a new vision of what married life ought to be, a life of self-sacrificing love like his own. It is for this reason that his apostle, St. Paul, clearly states that marriage is now and for all time to be considered a great mystery, intimately bound up with the supernatural union of Christ and the Church, which union is also to be its pattern.
This union then is most serious, because it will bind you together for life in a relationship so close and so intimate that it will profoundly influence your whole future. That future, with its hopes and disappointments, its successes and its failures, its pleasures and its pains, its joys and its sorrows, is hidden from your eyes. You know that these elements are mingled in every life and are to be expected in your own. And so, not knowing what is before you, you take each other for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death.
Truly, then, these words are most serious. It is a beautiful tribute to your undoubted faith in each other, that, recognizing their full import, you are nevertheless so willing and ready to pronounce them. And because these words involve such solemn obligations, it is most fitting that you rest the security of your wedded life upon the great principle of self-sacrifice. And so you begin your married life by the voluntary and complete surrender of your individual lives in the interest of that deeper and wider life which you are to have in common. Henceforth you belong entirely to each other; you will be one in mind, one in heart, and one in affections. And whatever sacrifices you may hereafter be required to make to preserve this common life, always make them generously.
Sacrifice is usually difficult and irksome. Only love can make it easy and perfect love can make it a joy. We are willing to give in proportion as we love. And when the love is perfect, the sacrifice is complete. God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, and the Son so loved us that he gave himself for our salvation. "Greater love than this no one has, that one lay down his life for his friends".
No greater blessing can come to your married life than pure conjugal love, loyal and true to the end. May then, this love with which you join your hands and hearts today never fail, but grow deeper and stronger as the years go on. And if true love and the unselfish spirit of perfect sacrifice guide your every action, you can expect the greatest measure of earthly happiness that may be allotted to man in this vale of tears. The rest is in the hands of God. Nor will God be wanting to your needs; he will pledge you the life-long support of his grace in the holy sacrament you are now going to receive.
Author Unknown
Because God himself is thus its author, marriage is of its very nature a holy institution, requiring of those who enter into it a complete and unreserved giving of self. But Christ our Lord added to the holiness of marriage an even deeper meaning and a higher beauty. He referred to the love of marriage to describe his own love for his Church, that is, for the people of God whom he redeemed by his own blood. And so he gave to Christians a new vision of what married life ought to be, a life of self-sacrificing love like his own. It is for this reason that his apostle, St. Paul, clearly states that marriage is now and for all time to be considered a great mystery, intimately bound up with the supernatural union of Christ and the Church, which union is also to be its pattern.
This union then is most serious, because it will bind you together for life in a relationship so close and so intimate that it will profoundly influence your whole future. That future, with its hopes and disappointments, its successes and its failures, its pleasures and its pains, its joys and its sorrows, is hidden from your eyes. You know that these elements are mingled in every life and are to be expected in your own. And so, not knowing what is before you, you take each other for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death.
Truly, then, these words are most serious. It is a beautiful tribute to your undoubted faith in each other, that, recognizing their full import, you are nevertheless so willing and ready to pronounce them. And because these words involve such solemn obligations, it is most fitting that you rest the security of your wedded life upon the great principle of self-sacrifice. And so you begin your married life by the voluntary and complete surrender of your individual lives in the interest of that deeper and wider life which you are to have in common. Henceforth you belong entirely to each other; you will be one in mind, one in heart, and one in affections. And whatever sacrifices you may hereafter be required to make to preserve this common life, always make them generously.
Sacrifice is usually difficult and irksome. Only love can make it easy and perfect love can make it a joy. We are willing to give in proportion as we love. And when the love is perfect, the sacrifice is complete. God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, and the Son so loved us that he gave himself for our salvation. "Greater love than this no one has, that one lay down his life for his friends".
No greater blessing can come to your married life than pure conjugal love, loyal and true to the end. May then, this love with which you join your hands and hearts today never fail, but grow deeper and stronger as the years go on. And if true love and the unselfish spirit of perfect sacrifice guide your every action, you can expect the greatest measure of earthly happiness that may be allotted to man in this vale of tears. The rest is in the hands of God. Nor will God be wanting to your needs; he will pledge you the life-long support of his grace in the holy sacrament you are now going to receive.
Author Unknown
QUOTE(homeschoolmom @ Dec 20 2005, 08:18 AM)
Okay, I'm here. Married 14 years... three kids-- 9, 7 and 2.
[right][snapback]831531[/snapback][/right]
[right][snapback]831531[/snapback][/right]
and mem - beautiful!
QUOTE(hugheyforlife @ Dec 21 2005, 01:47 PM)
and mem - beautiful!
[right][snapback]832266[/snapback][/right]
Almost enough to make me reconsider the cloister....
i thought it was awesome.
QUOTE(emalouhow @ Dec 20 2005, 12:38 PM)
Are any of the married couples here part of a group within the Church together? And how does it help your relationship?
My husband and I are both part of Communion and Liberation (a movement within the Church....if you want to know more check out the thread in the Open Mic phorem). We actually met through the movement, and being a part of it together has blessed us in many ways. It has opened us up to see the incredible blessings we have been given in our lives. Being a part of this together has also given us a intensity and openness to life we didn't have before. It is a wonderful blessing to be open with your spouse in this way. Together, we can stand in front of everything and know that the struggles we face are not the totality of our lives.
[right][snapback]831840[/snapback][/right]
My husband and I are both part of Communion and Liberation (a movement within the Church....if you want to know more check out the thread in the Open Mic phorem). We actually met through the movement, and being a part of it together has blessed us in many ways. It has opened us up to see the incredible blessings we have been given in our lives. Being a part of this together has also given us a intensity and openness to life we didn't have before. It is a wonderful blessing to be open with your spouse in this way. Together, we can stand in front of everything and know that the struggles we face are not the totality of our lives.
[right][snapback]831840[/snapback][/right]
So does nobody do anything with their spouse?
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