i also have several friends marrying this summer at 19.

One thing I have going for me though, is that I shouldn't be getting married until I am 22/23. My fiance and I have agreed on having a long engagement so I can finish my education/math degree. This is also to apease my parents who are now opening up to the fact that I am engaged more and more each day. *Every little prayer I say helps*

One thing with my family experience though, I want to have children before the ages that my parents were when they finally had me. My mom was 30 and my dad was 37. I want to have children young so my kids don't have to worry about me so much when they are in college.

I need to go, so I'll chat more later.

God bless-
LGLG

People always think I'm weird for wanting kids in my 20's. I want to start early though for that reason. I don't want to be 49 when my first is graduating high school.

I second that! I want to have babies like a year after I get married!

My mom was 48 when I graduated meaning my dad was 55. I love my parents, but I wish that they were younger so I could still do things with them rather than them going to bed at 9:00 at night.

God bless-
LGLG

I hear ya. I was lucky to have young parents (in a sense) because I know I won't have to worry for a while. I can feel free to go out and start my own life (and probably be firmly established in whatever it is) before they start to deteriorate.

My dad didnt start having kids till his late thirties.

Now that he is a senior citizen, it isnt as enjoyable. He has just reached the point, where he cannot deal well with change. I mean, when you get that age, you begin to set in your ways for the rest of your life.

The problem is that i moved out, and my brother started college at FUS at the same time, so he looses us both. So yeah, he kind of got himself into a risky situation, being set in his ways, and widowed as well. Do pray for him if you read this.

But anyways, my former youth minister was married in january. They are allready expecting. Rock on. Thats what Catholic families are all about.

A week before the wedding one of our friends had their fourth kid. Three months prior, another couple had a son. Its like the cool thing to do at church now. Have babies.

SHALOM

I can't wait to have children. It is a joy and a blessing that offers so many trials and tribulations; I hope to take it willingly when God feels that we are ready for it. I want a huge Catholic family, perhaps at least 8.

God bless-
LGLG

I feel that I have a strong calling to be a wife and mother. I desire so much to bring saints into the world! I'm so scared to raise my own children though; I don't want to mess it up.

You are going to mess up. That is guaranteed. BUT in the midst of all your mistakes, God is going to use you to bring Glory to himself. All things work for the good for those who believe in God!!!

Today i was at Chrism Mass.

Just as all ten million priests and the bishops about to process out...

A little boy runs down the central aisle. Totally innocent but so adorable.

His father, or uncle, or grandfather (i am not at all sure of course) ran down after him.

That is something beautiful and wondrful that i am going to give up...

But heck, the kid seemed eager to run into the sanctuary. Maybe its a sign.

Pray for your kids vocations if your are called to be a parent.

SHALOM

As they say, "God doesn't call the equipt; He equipts the called!" Very true for the vocation to motherhood!

Amen to that.

God will provide.

As Tommy Pickles says "Children are a gift, a gift from a bob."

"Thank you Bob"

I like that one too, except I've heard it as

"God doesn't choose the qualified, He qualifies the chosen."

God bless-
LGLG

I've heard it as:

"God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called."

Whatever it means the same thing

I like that!

i saw a family today that looked so put together. i love stay at home moms.

They rock

Ok I have a question for all the married/engaged peoples...

Is four years too long to be dating?

I'm neither married or engaged... but...
Statistics show that courtships between 1 and 3 years long are the most sucessful (lowest divorse rate)... the longer ones can be as sucessful if there is a sufficient reason to delay marriage
i.e. family situation, serious illness, finishing a degree, starting dating in high school... etc

BUT a long courtship can be a sign of a reluctance to marry.

We'd both actually still be finishing school in 4 years. Trust me, it's definitely not a reluctance to marry.

that's an understatment.....

Shhh.

I've heard this too, currently my fiance and I have been together for just over a year and a half. We will be getting married in just over 2 years. We aren't hesitant because we have cold feet but because I have 2 years of school left. We both see it as a way to continue our discernment and get to know each other deeper spiritually intellectually and emotionally.

Now that I'm thinking about it, how many of the married personas here use NFP?

God bless-
LGLG

For all of you who are called to the married life, God bless you! I will keep all of you in my prayers that you have holy and sacramental marriages, and raise beautiful and holy children. God reward you for your call to holiness!

As for me? 5 days left in the world! Pray for me too, when you think of it!

May God bless you too for you are about to have the greatest spouse of them all.

God bless-
LGLG

I'll be praying for you, especially this weekend. I'll be at a youth 2000 retreat so there will be plenty of reminders!

If you get a chance... and can remember... pray for my vocation?


I'm moving out on my own in August. I am nervous but at the same time, I'm ready. I'm ready to be independent, be completely on my own, and still be with someone. I'm ready to experience a new relationship, to test myself in this stage, and for whatever reason, God doesn't think I'm ready yet. Or maybe He's waiting for me to stop being ready so He can throw me another curve ball.

Either way... I'm ready.

Thank you. Yes, I will pray for you. All you phatmassers are at the top of my prayer journal So I'll have plenty of reminders to pray for you all and to remember your vocations, to religious life/priesthood or to married life. God bless you.

I realize Totus Tuus is in the monastery now, but what she said--I have my own story to share about that.

As the SOLC page dedicated to the society's history states, I was one of several cloister discerners who banded together for the sake of preserving vocations.

However, I felt the "soul tug" when I met hubby. When I asked the Lord about worldly marriage, He said it was so I would learn how to take care of a husband (Him included). I was perplexed about this for a few years. Being an Asperger's Autistic, I can be rather "selfish" I guess (autism comes from an old English word for 'self'). If you can't take care of a husband and family, you can't take care of your religious community.

FWIW.

Blessings,
Gemma

Totally Isn't autism derived from the Greek, rather than Old English? I think that the suffix -ism only attaches to Latinate (and most words of Greek origin came to English through Latin) roots.

Sorry, language geek inside me...

PP

I'm just going off what we've been told by the autism society.

Blessings,
Gemma

A friend of mine who wants to be a monk, but who has a very immature spiritual disposition, said that he thinks that everyone should be priests and nuns and monks, that way jesus will return sooner.

I told him that for someone who is called to religion, it will be that vocation which will sanctify them.

For those called to the SACRAMENT of marriage will be made holy through that. (I mean it is a SACRAMENT)

SHALOM

When in doubt I consult Wikipedia!




MC, it's great that you're trying to emphasize the sacramentality of marriage to your friend. Please know that your vocation with be in my prayers, as well as prayers for the spiritual maturity of your friend.

So what else is going on in the lives of the married Phatmassers?

God bless-
LGLG

Ok, I am having a small family dilemma that I want to bring to the phorum. My mom and I have been talking about ways that we can cut down on my college costs. Currently room and board on campus is costing me roughly $8000 if not more a year. One thing my mother brought up is that if my fiancee moves to the town that I'm studying in, I could move in with him. Not to "cohabitate" but to live in two seperate bedrooms under the same roof. I mean by speaking of money that I can save, that's one less loan I have to take out; however, I'm not completely comfortable with the idea either.

Help?

God bless-
LGLG

I used NFP when I was married.

You can move in with anyone you are not engaged to, that is the last person you need to live with BEFORE you are married. That would set up pretend intimacy you do not yet have, and be a constant test. People who cohabitiate in any fashion have a double divorce rate.
It would be like set 5 lbs of Baileys Irish Cream Fudge 1 foot away from me at all times. I will be strong today and tomorrow, but sooner or later, I WILL give in.[considering its Irish cream, it will be sooner ]. You want to be comfortable around your future mate, but not in constant intimate contact prior to your wedding night. Its not fair to your studies or your future.

That's what I'm telling my mom but she's not quite listening to me. I guess I will just stick to my guns about it as usual. Although, my fiancee is in total agreement with me. It's nice to have him supporting me. Thanks cmotherofpirl I needed someone to give me a little boost of confidence.

God bless-
LGLG

my hubby and i do notbad idea! i totally concur with cmom's answer below:

I too am in agreement with CMom and LR.

We use NFP (sortof).

Ummm.... bump?

Ok, I've finally thought of another question.

What steps did you take in order to get married?

God bless-
LGLG

-- for LGLG

what do you mean by steps?

and red, if you don't mind my asking what do you and mr. red use instead of NFP?

ps. my hubby and i do use nfp

steps? we had meetings with a married couple for around 6 months



ummm, nothing it's all up to God

i figured

i can't wait to be able to do that (ie. not be so poor :-p) prayers for you!

we are poor. so poor that i hope i can make it to the end of the month (i.e. payday) to pay bills, etc. and hoping that i will have enough food to make it until my hubby comes home from his job. you know me - i work for the Church - of course i'm poor!

i don't know. i don't want to start an argument about NFP, but i just feel that people should trust God more. obviously God knows what He's doing with my hubby and i because we haven't used anything to prevent contraception for 2 years (around that). i got pregnant last summer, but that ended in a miscarriage. i don't diss people who do use NFP, but like i said, i just feel that people should trust more (and believe me, i don't trust God plenty in other ways )

sorry if i've caused hurt feelings, that was not my intention

and thank you for the prayers, i pray for you too!

Yay, I didn't kill the topic. I ask about NFP because I've been looking into it for more than family planning and "steps" to see what other married couples did to more fully discern and prepare. I have to laugh though, my deacon at my home parish sent me a copy of the pre-marriage counsling questions to answer for him.

I had a good laugh at that one.

God bless-
LGLG

First of all... I just went through 16 pages of good stuffs. Thanks in particular to whomever posted the article about waiting...

Second of all...Q for the married types/seeking encouragement:
I feel pretty confident about being called to the married life, but at the same time I've had incredibly bad luck in terms of being attracted to gals who either turn out to be in a dating relationship already or turn out to be not the type of girl I'd like to date. Have any of y'all been in the same boat for extended periods of time (years)? It's been especially discouraging because lots of my friends are getting married and having children.