But I LIKE St. Anne and St. Joachim.

I thought that this thread was going to be about aspects of the vocation of marrage where young men and women can learn from others about the aspects of holy marrage like in the religous life and seminarian threads. Sorry if my thinking is way off track, but I am just confused.

God bless-
LGLG

LGLG
That is a very good idea! I opened this thread with no specific intention other than to make sure the beautiful sacrament of holy matrimony is represented and talked about over here!

i was hoping for kind of the same thing LGLG. maybe we can transform it into that kind of thread.

im starting my journal to my husband again this wednesday (my birthday).

Awwww

My apologies... it was not intended to mean anything in particular... and I am somewhat awkward with all this 'internet etiquette' and stuff.

It was intended to be funny, something IU am not very good at. i will send you an apologetic T-shirt in the PM box for X-Mas and hope we can move on.



Now back to the subject of marriage... what are the greatest difficulties in marriage, and what are the greatest rewards?

I say, in my honest, humbel opinion, the greatest reward are the children.

The greatest difficulty is trying to progress in matters of faith and other important matters with a partner attached to yourself every step of the way. Sometimes you feel held back, sometimes you feel like you're holding back, and it can be extremely frustrating at times, especially when it seems your 'partner' is not dong the best they can to advance along with you.

Back to you Bob...

i have to say that i wish more lay people would pray the Liturgy of the Hours. i think it is a wonderful prayer (duh) and should be taught to children as well. i know the girls here especially (like Karin who just learned how to pray it) are nuts about it. but most of the girls here are looking to enter the religious life.

*sigh* i wish there was more support in this. i wish there was more support in marriage as a vocation.

ive started looking for a new journal to my husband. i really think it is a very good idea. i dont always speak directly to him but sometimes jot down prayers for his safety and wellbeing. sometimes i converse with God about my future spouse in the journal. i think it is also important to record beliefs about marriage and child-rearing. sometimes those beliefs change (or strengthen) over time and its neat to go back (even for yourself) and look at that.

this poor thread

i hope to keep the Liturgy of the Hours in my life (and i will) even after i get married. it will be something my husband and i share together in and then we will share it with our children. it's beautiful.

who else feels called to marriage?

I feel that I am definately called to marrage. Right now, I am trying to pray the liturgy of the hours, but the hard part is trying to fit it into my schedual. (Wrong attitude I know) However, my boyfriend and I are talking a lot about our vocations and are also talking about what marrage means to us as young Catholic adults. We are also already considering what adjustments would need to be made personally so that our prayer lives can flourish and so that we are doing what God is calling us to do.

God bless-
LGLG

thats awesome LGLG!! how long have yall been dating?

*panting frantically*

Hey hugs, how are you...

*gasp* *pant pant pant*


Came as fast as I could.

How can... *gasp - pant* help?


*pant*
*pant*
*pant*

hello i am married, it will be 4 years on 2/1/06. i will try to stay active in this thread if you all think i will be useful.

yay! hehe that was fast!

well... how about the generic questions first....

what do you like about marriage?
what is difficult about marriage?

how did you meet your spouse?

of course you will be. and if you dont mind me saying so... you will provide a perspective not everyone here has... you are married to someone who is not Catholic. i think that will skew answers and that will be extremely helpful i think! besides youre just plain cool so we'd want you to stick around anyway

Good stuff... it is very important to consider what you are getting into. First off, it ain't a barrel of fun! (you seem to know that already, good for you!)

So do share, what angles are you considering?

For me and my wife... purpose was the order of things; we needed to find our purpose within God. Noiw that we have matured (yes, I said 'matured') we know that we where actually looking for a vocation but where just not familiar enough with all the terms. (we are both craddle Catholics, but as many of you might already have noticed our Cathlic education was not the most effective).

What do I like about marriage?

I like that I am to bring my spouse closer to God, to help him be holy (and it's hard to do!). I like having a friend when I need one. I like having someone that is going to tell me the truth, no matter how much it hurts. I like the good parts about being married (you know, those reeeeeallllyyyy good parts).

What is difficult about marriage?

Sticking it out when you want to hurt your spouse as much as they hurt you. Offering up daily struggles in marriage to God. The rocky times of marriage that aren't anybody's fault. We had a miscarriage this summer and it really put a lot of strain on our relationship. I felt a little abandoned because he was travelling for his job and couldn't come home. Situations like this take a lot of time, communication, and work to keep your marriage strong.

It's also difficult when your spouse is not the same religion, or is of no religion. My spouse is, well, probably agnostic. I'm working hard to change that (with prayer & sacrifice), but that makes discussions interesting sometimes.

How did I meet my spouse?

We actually met through mutual friends. We really did not like each other for about the first year we knew each other - calling each other names, our friends had to tell us to be civil, etc. Then (and I still get misty-eyed when I talk about this) he told me later (after we had been dating) that he knew he liked me when I was telling all of our friends one night about a blind date I had gone on - and hearing this, he was jealous, and wished it could have been him.

well, thanks!

*pant* no problem.. *deep breath* feeling a bit better now... Did you know there are four flights of stairs between here and open mic?!?!?




I'm ready for ya!






Sharing. And I don't mean sharing my cookies and milk here, I mean sharing a life long project (children), sharing my joys and tears. Knowing that every step of the way I will take through life, I won't be alone.

True, true, no one is alone since Jesus is always with us. Quite right. But in our moments of deep sorrows and uplifting joys, this is hard to remember. undortunately, I must admit my faith is not strong enough to always turn to my faith. This is my personnal failing. But the Lord understands, which is why I believe he one day whispered in my ear 'Go, find yourself a spouse, and she will be for you your constant reminder of me.'



What is difficult aoubt marriage?!?! Boy oh boy!
1. Being apart of each other
2. being always togehter
3. Agreeing on things that we consider important (or worse, that seems important to one but is not to the other)

4. We like different movies.
5. She's a waitress, I'm an engineer - she any problems yet?
6. teaching the children the smae thing betwee nthe two of us (being consistent)

7-56. lots and lots and lots more, but let's not ruin the thread for everyone now shall we....






i replied to that on that 'what's the most embarrasing thing that happened to you' thread in the 'under 20' section and please don't make me repeat it... please...

thats awesome. youre gunna make me teary too! thats too sweet!


if you could go back and do something over to better prepare yourself for marriage... what would it be?

*teary* that is so awesome


okay okay okay.... we wont ruin it and ill go look for your story

wow, i might do this different, i might not. because they were an important lesson for me to learn to help others.

for instance, i wouldn't have slept with him before marrying him (I was a virgin when we met)

i wouldn't have moved in with him before marrying him.

we wouldn't have had such a long engagement (a year).

but, you know, i made the best of these situations, and now i know why i shouldn't have done any of those things.

since i was particularly religious in my faith when we met, that explains a lot of these things.

why not so long? isnt there like a standard period of time that you have to be engaged before you can get married in the church? or is that just recommended? how does that work? do you know? (im asking a lot of questions i know! im sorry! im sure it will turn into pure discussion soon!)

i agree with 1,3,4.

being apart is easy for the first day, and it gets harder as the days go on (i don't see my hubby for the most part of every summer because of his summer job)

being always together - actually we both really enjoy that, because of our jobs, we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like.

agreeing on things we consider important! wow! i know this one. this is hard for me because i try to submit to his judgment, but i'm a prideful person and this is so hard!

he loves the movie "Tin Cup" and i do not.

there is definitely one requirement for my husband that i will NOT give up on...
he has to like the movie "A Christmas Story " as much as i do and if he doesnt he has to pretend to!

no it's just that, we were together for 3 1/2 years before we got engaged, and then had a year long engagement. why did we really need that much time? we didn't. we knew each other pretty well. from just my perspective, if you know each other and you've been dating for awhile, you don't need a long engagement.

we did go through marriage prep, because i wanted to be married in the Church.

my hubby & i both love that movie!

cool. 3 1/2 years seems like a really good amount of time. im not sure what i think would be too little time or too much. 3 1/2 years sounds about perfect. 3-4.


we could be friends! haha

oooh, so many good questions hughey! and so many good answers too, i like this thread.

A CHRISTMAS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thats the funniest christmas story!

And I must agre with you Lil Red that hurting your spouse is in the top 5 when it comes to difficult things. Actually, everyone's top five would be a little different of course...

My number one was accepting that I would fail. I failed my children, I failed my spouse, I hurt them and it hurt me back ten folds. I disapointed myself becasue I weas not the husband I knew I should be. that was very hard for me.

But my wife understood and she still does. It taught me the true power of forginess, and also how to be a man.

The difference between a real man and a simple man is not that the real man will not fail, it is that the real man WILL fail, but will get up and move on. The simple man will never fail because he'll always be too scared to try anything important (and thus will have nothing to fail at).

And by the way, that is one of the best parts of marriage as well; you 'better' half often will taeach you things that alone you never would have figured out by yourself.

wanna get married?

well, to me, if i am spending time with someone, praying with them, going to Mass with them, etc....i already know a lot about that person. obviously, my hubby wasn't Catholic or even Christian, so we had to spend even more time finding stuff about each other.

and more time doesn't necessarily equal more knowledge. there are things that i didn't know going into the marriage that i definitely needed to know.

and that is what is awesome about marriage is that you get to show a part of God's mercy and forgiveness to your spouse! that rocks!

Also,

As far as long engagements are concerned, me and my chick have been together for 12 years now, a little more than 5 married (aniversary 2nd of September). It is not a question of time, it is a question of readiness.

Me and my chick could have been married much faster, but circumstances was our adversary in this. I was in school, she was taking care of our oldest (yes, born out of wed lock). I will tell you something I don't say very often, but my first born is not my natural son, hoever I AM HIS FATHER - et malheur a celui ou celle qui dit autrement!

But you can understand I trust how the circumstance was just a little too difficult at the time, and that we needed to wait before marriage.

your parish or mine?lol

10-4 hugs! Through your spouse, one can find the truest meaning of 'Being made in God's image'!

Listen, I have to go now, sorry. I will try to stop by a little more often - promise.

Maybe we should start a talk show and interview married people from pahtamss?!?!? Wait.... maybe I'm just getting carried away here... that happens to a lot!

Take care y'all, et a la prochaine!

your anniversary is my birthday! that's pretty

i would say that long engagements are not for everyone, and short engagements are not for everyone. there is no set "standard".

that's awesome to hear you say that you are his daddy - you are, and that is a great witness to others.

ps. didacus, i hope you don't mind that when i'm quoting you i'm changing your spelling mistakes!

thats good to know. i guess its true of any relationship... some things will go unknown for a very long time. and when you find out you wonder how you went so long without knowing....


what a cool story. obviously you could have asked for different happenings but then you wouldnt be where you are and it sounds like where you are is very good.

i tend to get to know people very quickly. i generally read people very well and for some odd reason, people open up to me very quickly. sometimes people i barely know tell me very intimate things. i think that when i find my spouse i will get to know them quickly but like red said i may not know everything. the one thing i am really scared of is rushing something. i rush those things a lot. given my past history, i either am scared and push away from people or i find something i am so comfortable with i cant wait to have it. (this has actually only happened once but i can see it happening again)

im not picky. rock paper scissors?


thanks for stopping in! i would really love it if you came back. youre too cool to leave us!

another important thing: trust God will take care of you & your spouse.

the things i needed to know could've ruined our marriage - but i've trusted God that he will take care of us. i've trusted that i could offer forgiveness even though it was not earned and it was abused - and that God would take care of the rest.

i know it is scary, hughey, to think that you might be rushing into something. but spend time in prayer, and trust God.

just too cool for words..... where do you live again *gets ready to jot it down so she can fly out and hang out with lil red*

think of the state "M" with mountains. lol

gotcha


what about actual weddings? should they be big celebrations with lots of people or small private ceremonies? (lets say regardless of cost)

ours was small, private ceremony.

my wedding dress was handmade by my mom & grandma.

we only had about 50-60 people there. it was beautiful, in my opinion. we didn't spend a lot of money on the wedding or reception, just made it a gathering of family & close friends.

i think big wedding are okay. but if they get too into what everything looks like, then it's glorifying the wedding and not really preparing for the marriage.

since i was little ive dreamed of what the church would look like and what my dress would look like and how full the church would be.... now that im older (and especially right now while im a bridesmaid helping a friend prepare for her own wedding) i realize how all of those things can distract from the real meaning of what is happening. there is one thing i do want... and that is for a friend of mine (also director of music at my parish) to play the organ. other than that im not picky

we had someone playing a small organ (i don't remember what they are called) - a couple of friends sang - it was just a nice atmosphere.

funny thing though - our wedding was in a small side chapel (since the church is huge), but my family's pictures had to be taken in the big church because my family numbers so many!

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a quarter. How we started dating is a long story though.




Him and I right now are sharing a lot about our faith. I was raised cradle Catholic and he was raised Catholic but was searching for where he belonged. (That's another story) We are looking for as many opportunities as we can to pray with each other, learn with each other, and grow with each other. This has become quite difficult due to him being 2 hours away when I'm at school and 4 hours away at home. (Praise God for calling cards) Always though in conversation we will start to say something 'self centered' but we always stop and give glory where it's due, to God.

As of recentally though, we have been talking more and more about the sacrament of marrage, and there is the possiblity that we would be engaged before next September (2 years) but we already are planning on a long engagement because I will still have 2 years of school remaining.

Third topic is the blessing of children. Before I even started dating I knew that I would 'need' to know where my future husband would stand on having children. We have both agreed that we will take as many children as God allows us to have, (I think this is the Irish strain coming out though).

One other thing that I find great in our relationship is that if one of us is upset over something, neither of us can hang up the phone or go to sleep if one person is upset (at the other or just in general). Having such a distanced relationship has been hard and tempers have flared before, but we find that as long as we take the time and talk out what ever issues we are having, we are able to keep clear and open lines of communication at all times. It comes in quite handy if one person has just had a really bad day and needs to talk everything out.

Those are a few that I can think of now, and I am sure that there are more, but I am willing to answer any questions that you have of me.

God bless-
LGLG

-- my family isnt big at all, in fact if you take out all of the family members we dont actually talk to i have a tiny family! i hope to have a big one though someday.