Hi y'all,

Just wanted to ask for your prayers this weekend. My parents are coming in to town to visit and I'm planning on telling them that God's calling me to be a sister. They have no idea that I've been discerning at all, so I'm sure it'll be quite a shock to them.


Lord, grant me the strength and courage to share the work You have been doing in my life with my parents. Grant me the wisdom to speak Your words to them, that their hearts may be open and that they may have the grace to appreciate my vocation. Amen.

Like you even needed to ask for our prayers. They are given gladly and fully! Of course I pray that it goes well and that you and your parents are granted peace of mind and heart.

Parents! What a pain in the rear they can be.

magnificat, I pray that your parents will share in your joy. However, if you're parents react poorly to the news remember that whatever they say will be driven by emotions. Don't take it personally. In time they will come around.

I'm curious, how do you think they will react?

Let us know how it goes.

Definitely praying for you! I'm taking it slow with mine, personally. They know that I love the idea of the contemplative life, and they understand that I want to give my life for the Church. Mum says that she will support my decisiohn if I do become a nun.

However, they don't realise that I'm getting more and more serious each day....that's why I'm still "in the world" for at least this year - to help them adjust.

But know you have my prayers! Pray that God grants you the best opportunity for you to discuss it, and that your parents will be open and will see that it's not so much your choosing, as it is Gods....

When Jesus calls us to the religious life, He calls for some serious generosity! If you feel called to a particular community, and everything seems all put in place for you to enter, all that's left is for you to do so? I wouldn't wait! Did you know that Mother Angelica simply left a letter for her mother for after she left and she took a bus to the monastery? She felt that her mother wasn't ready to let her go. But she felt soo called to be with our Lord that she didn't want to wait.

When I first started telling my family and they knew I couldn't visit, they started in on, well aren't you going to wait for Ryan to graduate college, and then he is getting married? Then I started realizing that if I waited until there was nothing going on, I'd never enter. They now see, after seeing my desire not to wait, that I'm supposed to go. The only one who really hasn't adjusted all that well, is my brother. He thinks I should travel the world, lol. But he's not practicing his faith any longer, so he doesn't see with clear eyes. So, I pray for him.

I will pray for you that you listen to His voice and follow your call, wherever He's leading you.

God bless you.

I'm not sure at all actually. I've told my younger brother and I don't think he's too thrilled, but he's basically like, "Well, whatever, it's your life."
I guess the good thing is that both of them are practicing Catholics so it's not as if I would have to start from the very very beginning. At the same time, they have no idea I've been discerning at all (it's always helpful when you're in an entirely different state than your parents! haha) and I'm not totally sure they'll get it. Plus, I've never really had a discussion about religion or faith with them. My priest from home, who knows my parents, says I may be underestimating them, but I guess we'll just have to see.



Well, I have another couple years of school before I join (unless God tells me otherwise!), so it's not as if I'm going to hop a bus right now and leave!

You can always tell them there's something other than flouride in the St. Louis water!

Seriously, once you tell your parents, wther they react well or are nervous (like mine), it's a huge weight off your shoulders. You know where to go and how to go about it. My mom isn't the most supportive of my choice, but she has to deal with it because I'm 24 and capable of making my own choices. It was surprising to me, though, because I thought my mom would be more supportive than my dad. My dad hasn't really said anything about it, but I know he's fine with my choice because he sends money to the Sisters every month.

I hope your parents are supportive! It's so much easier when they are, and if they are freaked out about it, they will probably come around since they are practicing Catholics.

I will definitely say some prayers for you this weekend.

I think you should start the conversation by telling your parents that you're pregnant. Then tell them the truth. They'll be so glad you're not pregnant that anything else you tell them will seem great in comparison.

methinks that would not be the best way to go about it.

Um...I think I'll pass on that advice OLAM Dad!

Thanks for the support everyone. I had a nice chat with our chaplain at school this afternoon (minus the tornado warning!). I'm still nervous though, especially since my brother who I live with is just adding to my stress level!

LOL I like that advice OLAMdad, buuut.......

I'm sorry about your brother as well, being Catholic means persecution, lol, I will be praying for you and your family very much! God Bless,
~Lori

And he calls US nuts.

I am keeping you in my prayers as well.

Lori, you're never allowed to take the approach that I suggested.

First of all I know your parents and if they ever found out that it was my idea they would kill me. Second, I know your parents and they are going to be thrilled when/if you decide to enter religious life. You don't have to worry about how they'll react, do you? You're very lucky in that regard. How is John doing?

Hehe...yeah sometimes I wonder....it takes one to know one after all, right??

Thanks for the prayers. My parents are getting in this afternoon and my brother is planning on being conveniently gone, so I'm hoping to tell them this afternoon.

I'll let y'all know how it goes!

Prayers!

lol that's true. Oh yes I am so blessed, my parents support my decernemnt and they are encourging it very much. No, I don't have to worry about how they react, because I've talked about it since I was 9 anyways, so they've known for a very long time, and they would be so overthrilled if I did enter a religous life, though they make it a point that they're not pressuring me. (overthrilled.... is it a word!?)

My dad just talked to John on Sunday, he is very very happy at the fathers of Mercy. I think he really likes it there. However, we can only call him once a month, and he only twice a month. So, we've decided to talk on Sundays, 3 sundays out of the month. He's got a good schedule but he doesn't have any duties yet. He will get his duties when he becomes a novice, which is in August when he goes back up, from after he comes down here for July! whew. We're having our last family vacation all together, in July, with Marie and John, so it will be very nice to have the family all together one last time, (except for Chris, who's in Australia) but at the same time be sad. Anyways, that vacation we're going up to Kentucky to be there at his, novice becoming
So, now I have gotten very off subject, but he is doing great. The other novices are teaching him how to be a postulant. It's very lonely here at the house but we are very happy for him. Ok.
God Bless,
~Lori
i'm sure you weren't looking for a long story but now you know how it's going.

So I did it and told my parents after we got home from dinner. Unfortunately their reaction was pretty much what I'd expected, but it's not too helpful.
They both don't want me to do it, mainly because it kinda kills their dreams of the future...having grandkids, living near me, and having me help take care of them when they get older, that sorta thing. My mom just kept saying she was disappointed. My dad just wants me to put off making a decision and think about it some more and he was like, well I'll always love you but I don't know if I'll ever be able accept it.
I'm not too upset, because I was mentally preparing myself for that anyways. Mainly, I'm just sad that they can't understand why it is that this is something that I have to do and they can't see God's divine plan.

I'm so sorry to hear that. My parents weren't all that happy, especially my mother and brothers. But after I actually chose a community and showed them how wonderful the community is? My mom is now helping sew my postulant's uniforms. It' s more about their having to get used to it. Most parents, sad to say, aren't active supporters at first. But when they see you'll be happy. That's all that matters, you know?
Of course, I will keep you in my prayers. . ..that you will be able to persevere in your vocation. God bless you and keep you. Mary protect and guide you.

Yours in Christ,

Denise

Thanks for your words Denise.

I know it'll take them a while to get used to. It's just hard feeling like I've let them down.

One thing a co worker told me is that we'll never know this since we're not parents but that, generally, parents tend to dream dreams about how their child will be in their lives, what that will entail, etc. so, when someone tells them that won't happen, of course they'll be disappointed.

But you have NOT let them down. And if for some reason, I am wrong? Place yourself in the arms of your Jesus. He will comfort you and give you the grace needed to persevere in your vocation.

God bless you

I'm so very sorry. Your mom is 'disappointed'? I just don't get that. I'll pray for them. I'm guessing that since they want you to give them grandkids that my pregnancy tactic wouldn't have been successful anyway.

God Bless you.

You've got my prayers.... perhaps there will be time over spring break (when we're supposed to be locked in the library studying) to catch up on things and really get to share and pray together!!

I don't know if you met Jessie or not during the Vocations Week, but she'd be good to commiserate with. Kathleen will surely tell you about her this coming weekend.

Have you considered giving them a copy of St. Therese of Lisieux's "Story of a Soul." You could tell them, "I want to be like this."


A fear of mine: if atleast one of my kids don't grow up to take holy orders, I will have failed as a father.

That's beautiful! I pray that there are many fathers like you out there, encouraging religious life and the priesthood.

God bless you.

Thank you for the compliment.

I think he (Ven. Louis Martin of Lisieux, pictured on the left) is my patron even if he is not canonized at this time. Is that legal, I am a new catholic? After realizing my job as a dad and husband from Lumen Gentium, I stopped focusing on trying to be Mr. Saint-Superhero for God. It is my job to turn my little ones into Fr./Br./Mr. and Sr/Mrs Saint-Superhero for God.

As you could see/read from reading about the Martins you can see that they too are holy and 'superheroes' even though married. God calls all of us to holiness, if we but listen and respond. I understand what you are saying, but all vocations are roads that lead to Him.

Did you see Therese the movie? He was depicted as such an amazing man in the movie as well.

God bless you.

I definately know Jessie! We run into each other at daily Mass, but usually I have to run off and go be studious soon after. And I'm not going up with Kathleen this weekend . So if you see either of them, tell them to drop me an email (Kathleen has it).

I don't think they'd read it .
It's just very difficult because I know that telling them was the right thing because I do feel an odd sense of peace, yet there's no real way for me to convince them intellectually anyways. I suggested they speak to a priest friend who I've been talking to on and off at home, but they're convinced that all the priests are trying to do is to convince me that that's what I should do. But it's totally not like that (as I'm sure y'all know). It's more of an interior sadness, I guess.

One thing we parents have to remember is that our kids are not our clones and we can't burden them with our own unfulfilled wishes. Really we are given stewardship of our children, and have to answer to God for how we helped our children respond to their vocations whatever they may be.

We parents forget that our children are not extensions of ourselves, and have to re-learn this EVERY time our kids surprise us doing something new and unexpected. Forgive us and give us time. Parenthood is a lifelong learning experience that doesn't get any easier no matter how old your kids are. Time and love can win out in the end.

I know that both of your parents are practicing Catholics, so this isn't exactly the same situation. However, I thought this nun's words would give you comfort in knowing that someone else had a similar struggle with family.
http://www.olamshrine.com/olam/nuns_benedicta.htm

Perhaps the good Sister, would even encourage you if you could correspond with her?

Prayers,
Mary-Kathryn

Oh, I've read that story often as well, and it gives me encouragement that it will bring my parents and brothers back to the Faith. Perhaps that will happen with you as well? Your vocation will continue to be a grace for your family, if you persevere in it? Our lives, especially if we have problems in the beginning of our discernemnt and vocation (with families etc.) are like little sacrifices to our Lord. At least that's how my spiritual director showed me to look at it. hope that helps.

Awesome, both are coming over to my place tonight to watch "A Man for All Seasons." You're more than welcome to come if you'd like!
I will definitely tell them to drop you an e-mail.

Oh Magnificat, I'm so sorry to hear that. (I just saw this thread this am) You will be in my prayers. I cannot imagine how you feel right now.

On a side note, I had no idea how many of us there were from STL on here!

Mary-Kathryn,

Thanks so much for sharing that! It nails my situation (almost)to a T. I'm actually in law school right now too. Do you know how I can get in contact with the sisters?

I don't think that'll be a good plan since my parents are still visiting. Have a good time though!

I am not sure if you know OLAM DAD who posts here. I think he may have even posted in this thread.

His daughter is a postulant at Our Lady of Angels Monastery in Hanceville. If anyone knows about addresses, all the correspondance rules,etc... I am sure it would be him!

Why don't you privately mail him and see if he can get you going in the right direction with the mail?

I'll be praying for you!
Mary-Kathryn

I saw what Mary Kathryn wrote and I have to also put in my $.02. Mother Delores Marie at the PCPA monastery in Ohio said that she not only saw that 'phenomena' while she lived with Mother Angelica but then also since she's re-established the monastery in Ohio, that once parents see how much you are enjoying your time there, how much you fit in and are meant to be where you are, they will 'come around'. They will understand God's calling a little more, and feel His grace.

You can always talk to her as well. See www.stjosephmonastery.com for contact information (there's also a video on there of the sisters!)

God bless you.

Denise

Thank you everyone for your prayers and comforting words.

I know that it will definately take my parents a while to get acclimated to the idea...I guess it's a good thing that God's calling me to finish school (which is another 2 years!). :/

I am even more convinced now that this really is God's call for me because of the peace I have on my heart, despite the sadness I feel for my parents. However, I'm also a little scared because I know that they will continue to tempt me away from my vocation for the next 2 years. As awful as this is, I can't help thinking of the Gospel passage where Christ says to Peter, "Get behind me Satan."

That's not awful. That's normal. I continue to have fleeting moments where I wonder if I am doing the right thing. Especially this weekend as things were made sooo real for me! I had the closest thing I'd ever call to a panic attack, except I knew the subject of my feelings. Just realize that either due to ignorance, or differences in beliefs, or just wanting something more from their child/family member/friend, people will tell you what they think you should hear. As my spiritual director told me: don't go and tell a lot of people at work, etc. what you are doing until the last moment. People have their own ideas of what is 'right' and you only have one spiritual director. Listening to people will do nothing but confuse. (and then his favorite saying): Get ready and stay steady. (Pray for him, he's with his Order in Rome for a bit. No one knows for how long, a few weeks, months or back before Easter.)

God bless you.

Denise

So I'm reviving this thread because I'm getting absolutely frustrated with my parents who clearly did a great job of leading me to believe in something they are so clueless on themselves. Case in point, my dad emails me saying basically that Christ never intended for people to give up their families etc. to pursue the religious life. So, obviously, I point out the passage in Matthew which directly says that

And he replies that those were different times and that we need to interpret it in a modern context where technology allows us not to have to do that and because the church interprets stuff as it was 2000 years ago, that's why we see the problems in the church today. Hello?!?! Are we even talking about the same church and the same faith here??? Clearly not.

Somebody help!!! I'm going to go insane! What exactly am I suppose to say to that when apparently my parents don't even have the same core beliefs?!?!

I can definitely relate. My parents no longer go to Holy Mass. They think I am doing something silly, although they are outwardly more supportive now, I don't believe they believe in what I am doing.

In the end, what I had to do was 'give them up' into our Lord's hands and pray that they become open to His grace as time goes on. You still have to do what you believe our Lord is calling you to, because in the end, if you don't later on, you may wind up regretting not giving Him your 'yes' if that is His will for you. (I'm not saying that you will abandon your vocation, but there are others reading this now, and later, and this might resonate with them as well)

What should you say? Pray for guidance, first, but in the end, share with them that these are your beliefs, and that you feel called to be set aside for Him alone. They will not be losing you, but instead, will gain a whole slew of spiritual daughters. And that, you are called to be a Bride of Christ. . .how can you say no to the Living God, who has so few friends!? Our parents should be honored, instead of being upset.

I'm gathering that your father is talking about the priestly scandals, insofar as the 'problems in the Church' goes. I would reiterate that pedophilia is a mental illness and not an alternative to marriage. Those men, were we to somehow allow married priests, would still have deviant thoughts and/or behaviors. Marriage isn't a cure for deviancy, which is a point that so many people don't get. Gee, if we allow these men to marry, they'll stop picking on little boys.' ~snorts~ Gimme a break!

Here is a quote (or two) of one of my favorite saints, Teresa of Jesus of the Andes:
"The hearts of human beings love one day and the next day are indifferent. God alone never changes."

And here's something that pertains to us:
"How many parents there are who only look to their own interest and strive to avoid the pain of separation by sacrificing the happiness of their daughters by keeping them by their side!"

Prayers for you, May our Lord bless you abundantly.

Denise

Ask if he believes in the power of prayer... That is a huge part of the religious life... if they don't see the power behind prayer, it will be very hard...

Thanks guys...I love those quotes from St. Teresa!

I'm not holding out much hope on ever convincing them...in a way, I'm almost scared to ask them if they do believe in prayer, etc. partly because I don't think I want to know the answer and part of it is that I'm afraid that it'll push them even further away from the church.

It's so weird...as if I suddenly was startled awake and am wondering who these people are that I thought I knew...

Ohh, praying for you all. That makes my heart ache

Back in 1987 I left the Church for over 2 years. When I returned to the Church, it was because I spent a lot of time using my head (not just my heart), as I discerned what was/is the true Church of Christ. And of course, I made my decision to return to my Church, to our Church.

A couple of years later, I asked my mother if she ever doubted her faith, if she ever doubted Catholicism. She said she hadn't. Later, I asked her if she ever felt any consolations in prayer, the kind where you get a spiritual 'high', if you will. She said no. So then I asked if she prayed. . .her response was that if she needed to pray, she did. I didn't ask what that meant, but it really saddened me. That was years ago, but now that my family doesn't even go to Mass, I have to wonder about that as well and to be honest, I haven't asked.

I am often startled, wondering how in the world I ever received the grace of a vocation in a family who no longer believes. But I will continue to pray for them. If God who is all Good and all Merciful could choose this worthless sinner, I can certainly pray for my family, that they might be converted.

God bless you.

I understand your frustrations but even myself at 43 still haven't told my parents about my plans to leave for Buffalo.Yet I believe when you enter, your family will be blessed. As well, your new family will pray for your family too. This became very clear to me when I was with the good sisters in Buffalo.

They asked me about my family and I told them the truth about my difficulties with my parents. Later when I was in the novitiate, Sr. Rose asked what the sisters could do to help ease the difficulties with my parents. They offered to send a roasary or note to help. I was very touched by their generosity because they understand the pain no matter what the age to be unable to share the joy of your vocation with your parents.

All I can say, yes it is painful but keep lifting up your parents in prayer but also keep running your race with Christ and our Blessed Mother.

Peace,

DM