Do you ever feel like certain personality traits or other characteristics make you think twice joining the religious life. I've been discerning the priesthood for awhile, but I often feel like there are certain things about me that wouldn't make for a very good priest. It's not they are undesirable, but they would seem to be a hindrance. For instance, I often feel like friends don't disclose their personal problems, or if they do it's just to vent, which IMO doesn't help in the long run. I'm not expecting to have all the answers.

Why do you feel they don't disclose their personal problems? During those introspective moments, do you feel there is something there, on your part, which would prevent them from disclosing their inner hearts to you?

I have faith that during formation, there are graces that we receive that will help us to which ever vocation we are called.

But to answer your question, yes. Yes, I sometimes doubt my suitability. I wish I were more gentle like Mary (even though some patients say I have a gentle manner with them, which I don't see). I sometimes wish I was one of those people who are more silent, even though I crave silence. (I have been told that we begin to resemble our surroundings, so perhaps, in time, I will be more silent of heart than I am now.) I could go on.

My spiritual director, who is actually no longer my spiritual director as of two weeks ago, as he was transferred to Rome by his Order. . .is a Miles Jesu priest. I know so little about their order except from meeting him for direction and confession. However, they have a young man who died here in AZ, a couple of decades ago, who was a lay member, named Paul Murphy. He was an architect, became a Miles Jesu, and continued to be an architect, even after making vows. From what I've read about him, he's pretty remarkable, especially with teens, a very holy young man. Anyway, my purpose for introducing you to him, is that, as I read about him, I came across one of his quotes that really affected me, insofar as my approach to my vocation goes. . . . "God is not looking for your ability, but your AVAILability."

Which says it all, doesn't it?

God bless you with His graces as you discern. I will pray for you.

Hey Dude!

It's a challenge to live in community, you will be living with all kinds of HUMANS, we are designed to NOT be perfect. Community is sort of that aspect of religious life that can really help your grow spiritually. It requires a lot of acceptance of people where they are and you need to love them as your brothers or sisters no matter what.

Priests are not perfect, they are human. Please don't think you would not be a good Priest. This may just be a passing thing, you might be looking for a reason not to follow your calling.

Sometimes I feel like I am not holy enough to be a Sister. Then I look for every excuse as to why I shouldn't do it, think I am settled in NOT doing it, then I just can't stop thinking that I am doing the wrong thing.

Oh and people tend to get on my nerves at times. But the call to live in community, can help one grow in spiritual leaps and bounds. We can learn a lot from the human condition. Look at the Saints, for example.

FYI. I think the mere fact that you are questioning this proves that you will be a most excellent Priest. Keep your chin up and don't let the man downstairs kill your vocation.

God Bless.

I love that! 'the man downstairs'

You mention community, Lauren, when I was thinking more pastoral.

Joe, are you discerning a religious order? You know, something to add about community, that Mother Delores told me on my visit. 'The miracle of community IS community.' LOL! I don't think there's a certain 'type' that would best make a religious or a priest. . .since we are all called to holiness!

I've got some really sage advice for you Joe but I don't feel comfortable sharing it with you. Sorry.

What???

There's something about Joe that just doesn't seem to allow me to open up to him. Know what I mean???

I am also confused. I don't see how your comment is an appropriate publicly posted response, OLAM Dad....

(I think he's just kidding. . .)

What???!!!!

OK. I'll quit messing around.

Joe, most of your friends are probably guys and therefore not very likely to talk to ANYBODY about what they're feeling. If I were you I wouldn't put too much credence in the fact that they don't share their deepest feelings with you. Besides, you're not a priest yet. Personally, I would NEVER take to a friend some of the things that I would easily talk to a priest about.

Also, don't discount the value of being a sounding board for people that just want to vent. Venting can be therapeutic. Look at it as an opportunity to change the subject into something that might be more helpful to them.

Also, when people vent they're telling you their problems. At a minimum you can add them to your prayer intentions.

I'm sorry everybody, it was my lame attempt at humor. You see Joe said that he didn't think that people felt comfortable opening up to him so I said that I had some ideas but that I wasn't comfortable talking to him about them...


Me - Joe

I think I read something somewhere about your sarcastic sense of humor. As a sarcastic individual, I should have recognized it right away!!! And now, back to Joe...............

I wouldn't let your personality traits stop you from trying to be a priest. To be ordained you will have to go through years of formation, what do think those years are for if not to form you? I mean if you had all the perfect traits of a priest that would be really weird, because I know alot of priest and none of them have all the perfect personality traits for a priest.
God Bless

First of all, this kind of plays off of a quote somebody said earlier, which I'm sure you've heard before. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. Second, a priest once told me that God doesn't call those who are perfect to become religious, or else there wouldn't be any!

Anywho, I don't know if that helped or anything, but I just thought I'd share.

Now that people know i am planning on being a priest, i get more people who come to me for advice.

I think your introspective shame is a hindrance. You don't believe you are worth it or capable, not because you are, but because you cannot see yourself for who you are Joe.

Let me be honest with you.

Joe you are important. Seriously. God has a plan for you, and he will leave it to you. I don't know what it is, maybe its priesthood, maybe its family. But God has chosen you to affect the lives of others and bring them to God. And if you don't do it, heck God doesnt need you. But he wants you to, for His Glory, for your own sanctification, and for the salvation of others.

Don't deny yourself as a son of God. You are God's son, and he will never make another you, Joe. You need to spend some personal time with God.

I don't know if you have had a lot of teachers put you down, or a priest put you down, or even your own dad. Maybe that got it into your head that you can never be good enough. Thats a lie Joe. They only shamed you, because of their own inner shame.

When people can see that you got your life together spiritually, and emotionally, believe me they will flock to you Joe.

SHALOM

Yeah Dude, don't let the man downstairs try to ruin it for you.

I got it. It took me a second to catch on, though.


Thanks everyone for your help. I still need to reschedule an appointment with the vocations director, though. Both of us have very busy schedules.

We all have faults and character traits that are not so great (and some are great, take time to look at the good ones too!) but we must daily pick up our cross and strive to overcome them and just continue to put all your faith in our lord, if he's calling you to the priesthood then he'll give you all the graces you need to live out that call, despite your weaknesses, and remember God does not call the qualified, but qualifies the called!

God Bless You!