Discerning God's Will: A New Religious Shares His Story

Brother Matthias Wong OATH is only 18 years of age and yet he has decided to give himself to the will of the Father. For many, discernment is not easy.

Brother Matthias shares his reflections….


I’ve been thinking about whether to try or wait until later to see what the religious life was all about but before ADORE 2006 I didn’t place God as my top priority. Rather I had always thought that I would go to University first, as I suppose most would do, than take the risk of going first (to religious life). The thought of this way of life was always in the back of my mind and was posed as the question “what would it be like to be a brother?” and in the end as a result of thinking too much, I would always reject the thought by saying ‘I’m not good enough to be a brother’ or ‘why would God want someone like me?’ In short, even though I thought about it every now and then, I was still holding myself back. These are the attachments to life and creatures that are what make it very difficult for people to join the religious life since it is a dramatic change in lifestyle from their ordinary secular life.

I am giving myself to a year of discernment with great trust in Jesus and the powerful intercession of His Mother Mary. If its not for me, then I can go back to the way of life that I was living before - but knowing that I will return as a better person. I was still very hesitant to join and still didn’t want to leave my family - not to mention all the ambitions I had to fulfill (my actual plan was to finish university first before making any plans like this one but also because I couldn’t stand to leave everyone I know about behind). Eventually after the really inspiring witnessing by Br. Antonio I decided to try for myself what this life is really like.

This was when I was still in ADORE - a completely different environment to reality. It was good to get support from the youth group who had supported me from the start and will continue their support (they are really important to help keep the vocation alive) Without my friends and the support of my parents I wouldn’t be where I am today I would be in University where everyone else would be. This is a big decision whether to follow God or to follow yourself. There will always be people who will disagree with the decision that you make. I was blessed that my parents have supported me in my decision to follow the Lord for one year and also blessed that my friends respected my decision and wished me the best even if they didn’t understand the reason I am going. It is support from friends like this that I was able to join without it I wouldn’t be able to try at all and I thank them for it. It was my extended family that didn’t understand and didn’t want me to go. They will ask always to try the world first, many do and gain even more attachments making harder to hear God’s calling. Of course it was hard to get through this time but when you make a decision then follow it to the end giving a half hearted answer will leave you unsure of what to do. I had some very strong attachments that I found hard to leave for one its people that you can be very attached to I was really fond of this person and leaving is all the more difficult, leaving your family is the hardest thing you will have to go through if you do gather the courage to try. If you try and are successful then you have gained more than you can imagine, if you don’t then you will gain some important experiences and wont miss out on much in one year. Just remember that you are not alone friends are there to help you and encourage you even I sometimes get the feeling if I’m just not right for this but I will try my very best to see if it is what God wants even though I really miss my friends and family I know that God will keep them safe until the day I can return to see them.

If you are discerning your vocation all I have to say is 3 things:

1. The more you think the more you won’t go, thinking doesn’t help - I know from experience.
2. Someone whether it be friend or family will ALWAYS disagree, if they didn’t and everyone was fine about it there would be no sacrifice to be prepared.
3. If you really want to go then listen to what you want to do not anyone else, they cannot make this choice for you.

I chose to look at it from this point of view and one that a very good friend of mine said in a letter before I joined the life. We know the struggles will be hard so “Just take it one day at a time”. The life of a religious is a challenge but remember who you are doing it for have a purpose to follow it will make you endure much!

We cannot do it alone. We rely on the prayers and support of our family and friends, always trusting in God!

Matthias Wong, now Br. Matthias, is a Brother of the Oblate Apostles of the Two Hearts, completing his Higher School Certificate in 2005. He is currently in formation in Melbourne.

I can certainly agree here on all three accounts.

1. There are many who, after long intense discernments, opt to remain in the world. I don't know if she did this for this reason. . .but here's a good parallel. Many women visit Mother Angelica's monastery with the thought of vocational discernment in mind. Often, when a young woman and Mother has decided that she is called to the religious life, Mother will invite the woman to enter fairly quickly. There have been several cases where the woman never even went home after her discernment visit!

2. I know in my own family, there are family members you dont agree with what I am doing. But therein lies the sacrifice AND the cross.

3. Amen. You have to do this because you want to give your life to Jesus. No one can tell you to do this, and no one can tell you that you shouldn't. It is your choice, your life, your vocation.

God bless you in your discernment, for those of you who continue to do so.
Denise

PRAISED BE JESUS!