why!?!?!?! DO TELL!!!! LOL!!

Wow...I wasn't expecting that...well...I guess we need to wait!






And FutureNun...tell us! You sent a letter for acceptance?

Ang,

That was nice that they wrote you back though and explained. At least they didn't just mark the envelope return to sender!

wow I am confused here I thought one could receive the letter but could not respond....Oh they kept the letters til you could receive them.....seltsam.

I wouldn't consider what they did as weird at all, just different. It's probably my fault that everybody expects the Portsmouth rules to be the same as at OLAM. Sorry about that. Mea culpa.

I would imagine that they sent the letter back as opposed to keeping it to give the sender the option of writing a different letter if they were to know that it wouldn't be opened until Christmas.

At least they didn't open it, read it and send it back saying that they didn't want you to waste Sister Denise's time.

Well around Christmas, she'll get a ton of letters!

I think it's one of those "it depends on the order" things

I agree with Steph. It depends on the order.

I think at our friend Jessie's order of Poor Clares, they never write to anyone who isn't family unless somebody gives them a gift (and they only write to them if they can't come to visit). A group of us went to meet them for Holy Hour, and the priest who went with us said that the Poor Clares may get the bell tower they want just from donations from people who want to get small notes of thanks from Jessie.

If I may add my two cents, I think it's wise for cloistered nuns to practice this. Not that I would want to give up my friends, but if I was a Poor Clare who dies to everything, my friends writing to me might serve as a sort of distraction to that total gift of self.

Visiting my college this past weekend, all my friends kept asking if I'd be able to write them from the monastery. Now, I think I would be allowed four letters per year to people other than family. Four letters! Pretty grim number, when I hear all these different individual friends and groups I know clamoring to hear from me. They'd be hearing from me once every two or three years. I hope my family can pass on news.

But this also leads me to agree with Jenny. If I wrote all those people who want to hear from me even every other month, all I'd be doing is writing letters! (Not to say I'm that popular, b/c I'm not, but people add up quickly.)

Yeah... Good points Laurentina and OLAM Dad...

(Well... I also got a letter from my Poor Clares the same day, so too Poor Clare letters in my mailbox!)

I know that is cause of concern from some of my friends but it is cloistered order so people must get used to the idea. Some of my friends are already talking "Road Trip. Although, I wonder in light of the Buffalo Sabres eliminating the Ottawa Senators from the Stanley Cup playoffs, I might be in for a loong wait

However, sometimes you are allowed treats as well.

Today, I received an email from a friend of mine who I met at one the SMME retreats. We kept in touch and she entered the Domincan Monastery in Farmington MI. Well, as a cloistered order she is allowed to write but she can't really email except at Christmas. She received permission to email her buddies because she is now a novice with the name Sr. Mary Rebekah of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, O.P. The order gave her permission to share this special moment in her life with us with pictures as well. So each community has its own rules.

P.S. For all the phatmassers who was with me about 2yrs ago at the SMME retreat, the person I am speaking about Nadine Bond.

When I think about the Farmington Dominicans...I think about them as the Dominicans with the ducks! (Check out their website!)


http://opnuns-fh.org/index.html

Hello, everyone. Peace and all good to you. It's been only a month I know. And I'm sure you are all shocked to hear from me. But I am not in Portsmouth anymore.

I really don't have the time to get into it right now, as my plane leaves soon and I have to finish getting ready but I wanted you to know what happened. After a week of my stay there, I started having some health issues like high blood pressure, swelling of my legs and ankles, dizzy spells, weight gain. I thought it was nothing, the adjustment period, you know? But then, I think, from the stress of it all, I started really getting 'cloisterphobia', a term they coined because the monastery grounds are so incredibly small (outside) and the monastery itself only really houses up to 12. Even the 7 that were there, you really couldn't go anywhere within the monastery without being in the same room as someone else. There are a couple of us there who were going batty from lack of space, including one who was solemnly professed, so it isn't a newcomer's cross!

Anyway, after going to the doctor a couple of times, with the recommendation to see a specialist, and with some of my struggle behind the cloister, the sisters (and me, but mainly the sisters) decided that while they loved me, felt that I fit in with them well, and seemed to belong. . . that I wasn't called to cloistered life.

I am feeling . . . bereft. I'm not sure where to turn to be honest. I've decided, for now, that I am not going home to Phoenix. That might change, but I felt that, during this immediate 'post monastery' time, I wanted to be with a supportive friend who would accept me, and wouldn't pity my situation. I don't know how long I'll be there, if I'll settle there or go back to AZ, but I'm leaving in about 2 hours for Dallas.

I'm not sure what I'll do. I will try to come online when I can, but I'm not sure how frequent I will be able to write on here. PM would be easier for me, if you'be something specific to say, or ask, rather than in a phorum, simply because my friend has dialup and when she's not at work, she's online a lot too. (I may go get a router, so I could hook up with her but that might make it even slower.)

It's a very small apt, where I am going, and she smokes but it was the only place I thought of to go. Please pray for me.

Denise

PS, I will also, after I settle in to TX, change my name here, as it no longer applies.

Denise,

While I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you in Portsmouth and about your health issues I'm also glad to have you back here with us. You've been on quite the roller coaster, emotionally, I'm sure. Please know that you're in my prayers.

Michael

Denise, you are always in my prayers. Well, it´s somehow silly to say that, but if you ever need/want to talk, feel free to contact me (first via PM and then on the phone?)---

I will always think of you, whatever happens!

Laura

Dear dear Denise, you are still very much in my prayers. Please keep in touch, I'd love to hear from you. I got your letter just a day after or so after you entered. - thank you so much for your support. I'll keep you updated with how things are with me. Shall we keep in email/IM contact?

Like Michael said, this must be quite a rollercoaster, and do know that I am here for you.

God bless you always, and do not forget our Lady cries with joy for love of you! My love and prayers always.

edited to add - I think if you ask dUSt he will change your sn.

Denise-

As you already know from me....I am praying for you. Please let me know if there's anything I can do for you.

God Bless You dear,

Ali

I'm in Dallas now. Again, I'm not sure how often I will be able to be online until I know quite what I am doing. I finally got to my friend's house. And as you can see, Dust changed my name.

I suppose, regarding the health issues, it must have been God's will that I only go there for a brief time, and then start a new journey elsewhere. Perhaps that is why I felt called to come here, instead of back to Phoenix, although who knows if AZ will be my final destination. I have hope that He will guide my path.

What is odd is that I didn't have any of those issues before I entered, I've already in the last week lost some weight, my BP is back to normal, I haven't had any dizzy spells in 4 days and my leg swelling is all but gone. Go figure.

Anyway, thank you for your prayers and support. I'll write soon.

God bless you.
Denise

PS Memtherose, yes, I'd like to keep in touch with you. Since my friend is on dialup, I may not be using my IMs that often. But email is fine, either on here or regular email.

Denise, Hello...I am so sorry that it did not work out for you in Portsmouth...You have been in my thoughts & prayers for the past month & will continue to be so...We know that the PCPA's in Ohio will continue to be part of your journey...Peace be with you...

<sigh> I miss her too.

Denise, your in my prayers.

You were missed. You will continue to be in my prayers.

I have a few things cooking, as far as options go. LOL I asked our Lord to knock me off my horse and do so quickly, but wow, a day later and He's giving me a few options. Pray for me that I do His will. God bless you.



Denise

PS I pray that you are doing well, all of my fellow phatmassers. Thank you for your prayers.

I'm so glad that the Lord is giving you some options I will continue to pray for you that you will do HIS will...for your life. May God be with YOU...


Ali

Denise you tried it, that is all that really matters. The Lord will continue to speak to your heart. May you find peace.

Denise,

Please get in touch with me if there is anything I can do....I am not far from Ohio..

Do you still have my number?

Let me know if you need anything!

I haven't been posting on here much (if at all), but I skim and was suprised to see you here.

Let me know if I can offer you any assistance, whatever it may be, just ask.

Prayers,
Lauren

I'll be praying for you and I'm sorry I didn't work out But it's awesome to see you on again

Thank you all for your prayers and your kind notes to me.

Please pray for me as I am going to drive back to Phoenix this weekend for my brother's wedding. (He doesn't know I've left the monastery, so that will be a surprise for him.)

I will also be picking up what very little clothing I have and a few kichen things.

I have opted to spend a few days with a friend who is a sister, just regaining some balance in my life and hoping that, in that atmosphere of a religious community, I might be better able to discern what it is He is asking of me.

Know that I keep you in prayer. Please continue to pray for me.

God bless you.

Denise.

Denise, as glad as I am to see you back, I am also sad that things have turned out the way they have. You will be in my prayers as you seek what God's Will is for you. Keep us updated if you can, please.

Denise,

You are in my prayers. Know that God will never abandon you! I'll pm you soon. Welcome back! B

You're in good hands!

Denise, where I know most of everyone has said this but I will say it. Whereas I'm so sorry to hear about what happened I'm glad to hear from you! I've missed you and I've been praying for you, I'm surprised to hear it but maybe it was for the better? Perhaps this is really Gods plan for you? I'm sure the sisters will miss you. I'm sorry to hear about the struggles you've been through, but image the souls saved from them! I love you and God Bless you!
In Christ,
Lori

oops double post.

Denise,

Sorry that this was not God's will for you. You must be very pleasing in His sight, so docile to His good pleasure. I wish there was something I could do for you but alas this is the cross He has asked you to bear. I'm sure in time, why this happened will be clearer to you. Please be assured of my prayers and all the PM'rs out there.

Please keep us informed as to how you are doing as much as you can. We are all conerned about you. God bless you and shower you with His love.
Mr. Ray

well said daddy

Welcome back Denise... from all of us. We're all praying for you...

May the Lord
Bless you and keep you;

May He show His face to you
and be merciful to you.

May He turn His countenance to you
and give you peace.

Good morning everyone! I drove from Dallas to Arizona, in order to see my brother's wedding. So, I am here now, went to the rehearsal dinner last night, picked up what little belongings I have and am now staying with Deb again. I will be here until Thursday, when I will be making a 'retreat' which is what I am calling it for now. If it becomes a discernment visit, great. If not, that's all right too. I haven't really closed myself to any option as far as that is concerned. It is not for any particular length of time, as I am buying an open ended return ticket. Please pray for me as I begin this time of regrouping. I think I will have internet access, so I may be able to check email ever so often.

God bless you and again, thank you one and all for your prayers and your support.

Denise

By the way, I forgot to ask. . .could you all please pray for my brother who is getting married today?

God bless you!

Will do prayers on the way.

prayers all around & congratulations to your brother!

I was a wreck today! I can't believe my brother, (who is 12 yrs younger than me) is MARRIED! But, it was a beautiful wedding. I saw them head off to their hotel in the limo. . . I won't be seeing them when I get back as I'll be then off to my 'retreat'. But I'm so happy for them. . .even though I'm still feeling. . .well, it is still so surreal. Thank you for the prayers!

Aw Denise, it's ok, I know it must be so hard for you. I'm praying for you, as we all are, and love you.
God Bless
In Christ,
-uruviel

Someone on Phatmass was talking to me about the letter you sent me, FutureNun, that was returned. I thought it was funny that they didn't even tell me you'd sent it. Although, odd as it was, I was given two other letters from people that weren't related to me. AND I was given OLAM Dad's email. Anyway. .. I re read all your posts. Made me LOL because it was so nice to read how many were supportive of me. I'm still trying to figure out what to do next in my life. Life was so clear before. . .it's, well, it's not clear now. . .just a lot of prayer and wondering. He's being silent! Can someone tell our Lord that He needs to take his phone off mute! Because I can't hear anything!

God bless you and keep you.

Denise

Hi Denise-

Though I wasn't on the boards before you left, you are certainly on my prayer list now. I pray for encouragement for you while God writes a new and wonderful chapter in your life journey!

God's Blessings!

Amber

Thank you Amber. Your support means a lot. . .I just want to do God's will, whether it's to be in a religious community as a sister. . .or as a lay 3rd order, while working in the world.
God bless you, and I will pray for you in your own discernment.

Denise

I know what you mean by God being silent to you, usually you seem to be able to read it, read the next chapter in your life yet this page appears blank and empty, and you feel your left with this pen to write it on your own. But God always comes back and takes the pen with you and writes it down. ahh anyways, I'm praying for you, have a wonderful retreat, (if you haven't completed it already) God Bless you!!
-Lori

Have you thought about a more eremetic type of monastery? The Carthusians are a bit severe and don't have a female monastery in the states. But the Camaldoli Benedictines are similiar. They all have little houses, bungalos really, and mainly meet for prayer and mass. There are several other congregations like that that are not quite as established yet.

I wrote to the Camoldolese a while ago. . .no response. But yea, I thought about a more eremetic life. I am just not all that positive I'm called to be cloistered. In fact, when I was with the PCPA I felt more called to want to be an extern. . .

Do they PCPA in Ohio have externs??? Only now am I learning that being an extern is a vocation in itself.