In my diocese, that of Sioux Falls, we're preparing ordain, as a priest, a widower in his 60's. I think its really cool that a person can be called to more vocation.

What a blessing for all you Sioux Fallsians.

St. Rita of Cascia wanted to be a nun in her early teens. Her parents didnt let her (probably because she was the only child, and they were allready old). She got married, and was widowed before she turned thirty (her husband was murdered just after the conversion of his heart), and after her two sons died.

She is the patroness of hopeless and impossible cases.

Thats probalby why she is my patroness also.

It was her feast day, i might mention last monday.

BTW, one of the priests at my parish, Fr. Jack Hancier CMF is a widow. He is also very elderly. He was a psychotherapist prior to his priestly vocation.

And i admit, he was a little hard to understand on the microphone saying mass, but once you got to know him, wow, he inspires me in my vocation.

SHALOM

Its like getting the best of both worlds....

That's great!

By the way, i was born in Sioux Falls. This summer I'm coming back on kinda a vacation/pilgrimage to the Cathedral because it's where i was baptized. I love that place (hence the avatar). Maybe we'll bump into each other this summer at mass!

We have a guy down here in Fort Worth. He's a widower and i think he was ordained at 72 or something crazy like that.

How wonderful to have such a man in your diocese. I find it funny that they will ordain priests over the age of 40, but a women is too old to enter the convent at age 30. Why the double standard??

It is pretty cool. Actually there is a seminary somewhere in New England specifically for older vocations it called Blessed John XXIII Seminary. Many of the guys there are widowers other just are what are called "delayed vocations" men who were out in the working in the world but never got married.
God Bless

We've had a couple widowers ordained for the Chicago archdiocese recently.

Additionally, a year or two ago, a divorced man was ordained for the archdiocese!

I assume you mean divorced and annulled, right?

There is no double standard.

Denise was 35 when she entered the PCPAs and DonnaMarie (Passionheart) will be entering, God willing, this summer at 44 years old. Sister Mary David was 65 when she becamed professed at OLAM.

Also, there are many male communities/dioceses that won't accept 'older' gentlemen. There are standards, depending upon the community, but no sex related double standards that I can see.

There are a lot of female communities mentioned in this thread that accept 'older' women.

how wonderful

cannonically i don't think that religious orders and dioceses can accept divorced people who have no annullment.

When i was applying, that was one of the things required (It however, obviously didnt apply to me).

Some communities like the LC don't accept older candidates (I heard like over 25 years), but i could bet that they have so many youngins allready.

Some other communities may get an older man, and find themselves suddenly responsible for massive amounts of health finances as a result. It almost seems uncompassionate to a person like that, but it is also not very compassionate to the members of the community to not have the benefit of a fruitful member.

SHALOM

I don't think it's a double standard. I think part of it is that it's important for those in religious communities to be in pretty good health, and to have certain vitality because of the demands of religious life. It is probably harder to adjust to the change of lifestyle the older one is. Diocesan priests don't have a community that bears the burden if they fall ill or something like that, and it's not quite as dramatic a change. And yeah, some communities do accept older women. It kind of depends.

I do not mean to take this off topic, however, it is VERY difficult for a women over age 35 to find a convent to accept her. 35 is not old by any stretch of the imagination. I know several women, in good health, who are profesionals, that are turned down because of age. Ask Lauren what she has gone through, and she is only 30. Certainly the adjustment is more difficult the older one is, but it is not an impossiblity. Yet they will accept a priest into the seminary well into his 50's. Yes, there is a double standard,and no, no one wants to admit it. By belated vocations they mean age 35-40. And to bring up Sr. David, God rest her soul, is not comparitable. She was the foundress' mother, hardly anyone would refuse her.

Actually age can be big factor for entrance into a seminary. It depends on the diocese. Mine for instance does not accept anyone of 40 with special permission from the Cardinal, which does not happen often. I only know of one who entered over 40 years old for my diocese and he was a college professor and had a doctorate already so he was hard to refuse.
God Bless

I know somebody in his 50s who had a heck of a time finding an order that would accept him.

If you really think that the female orders don't accept older people as readily as male orders do then the blame, if there is any, is on the orders themselves. They are the ones who 1) set the age limit, and 2) accept exceptions. Are you suggesting that men are just nicer to those of the same sex than ladies are?

Thanks OLAM Dad for mentioning my entrance.

Yes, it has been very difficult to find an order that would accept me at my age. Either they out right rejected me or didn't taken the time to reply. Some of the reasons given were: Harder to fit into community life, health, unable to follow a rule. Also, I was asked if I was married and I said What??? Well some have come to the community looking for an exit from the marriages or for some it is place of retirement so they won't be lonely. But I think the big one is OBEDIENCE, that is after living on our own, obedience will be too hard.

There was an order that when I spoke to the vocation directress by telephone and she gave me some of the those reasons mentioned above. When I told her that I was in a community(BSP), followed a pentiental rule of life and at that time was postulant and novice director for the members in my region(Canada), she extended me an invitation to come and see.

Many say it is harder for an older person living in the world to give up their independence and there is truth in this. However,I believe if God has placed this desire on our hearts it must be fulfilled somehow. At least that is what I said God every time I received another rejection!

My acceptance is an exception to the rule because the age limit is 40. However, because of some God- incinces that occurred and so they decided to meet with me. And the rest is history!!

The local TV news station did a story on this man. Here

I know there's a lot of skepticism on these boards about our proposed SOLC communities. But let me put it to you like this: how many people didn't support your supposed vocation to the religious life?

If you're receiving support for your vocation--not only from myself but from others--I should think that it would be charitable to support me in my vocation of being not only wife and mother, but also aspiring lay foundress.

My door is open to the older vocation. I am not doing this out of desperation. Our charisms are meant to receive older vocations.

Some have voiced skepticism about "all those charisms." Excuse me, but what about the mom who has to raise 15 kids? Whatever happened to apostolic zeal? There are people hurting out there--God's people, whether they know him or not--and we're the only bible they're ever going to read.

Oh, but raising kids is different from founding communities.

I think not. Each child has their calling in life. Each charism has its offerings to the church and the world. Everybody has to learn how to get along, to live a Catholic Christian life. I don't see any difference. Some of the same principles used in raising kids can be applied to "raising" religious. And I'm not talking about treating postulants and novices like children. Absolutely not.

I'm also a homeschooler, and I treat my boys like scholars. Their test scores are showing it. I have a "hands-off" policy when it comes to dealing with discerners and aspirants. I give the information, and if they grow from the new knowledge, they are more than likely on the right road.

Any new community is going to require aspirants who are extremely flexible. New foundations have their own set of challenges to meet. Anyone looking at the new charisms should remember that. I find the best suited are those who trust Jesus and Mary enough to honor God's Will in their lives. Anything that happens is OK with them, because they will be honoring God by doing so.

Older vocations bring a lot of information and experience with them. Hopefully, they've learned that their way isn't always the best way, and that bosses aren't always idiots. I'm not one to go testing someone's resolve by getting in their face. Don't go looking for the cross, it'll find you. Life itself is going to be bringing enough trials. A smiling face from me and a Rosie the Riveter attitude of "We can do it! (with God's grace)" will get everyone through. And yes, everything will be OK.

This post is not only in response to the older vocation question, but also skepticism which has not always been voiced re: the proposed SOLC foundations. And it's like the guy said in the bible re: the new Christians. If it's of God, it'll persist. If it's not of God, it won't. Let the fruits be the indicator. But you've got to say yes to a possible vocation with any new community before any fruits can be seen.

Blessings,
Gemma

+

It is a mistake to equate religious life with the seminary. It makes perfect sense that one called to live in community (religious life), is called to be young, whereas one called to be a spiritual father, living alone, can be relatively speaking, any age.

I don't think it's that we "don't want to admit it", I think it's that the standard is the same for religious women AND men and it makes sense that it is different for seculars (diocescen priests) as their lifestyles are completely different.

Ultimately, religious have the history, and the right as "private" associations, to decide and determine their own requirements -I know they do not make these decisions arbitrarily, although from the point of view of us "outsiders" it may appear so. Fundamentally, we must respect their right to self-determination. Do we really think that with hours and hours of prayer, daily masses, rosaries, liturgy of the hours, adoration, etc... they would be missing this? I can only say these women are probably a lot closer to discerning God's will than I am, and for that reason, it is only prudent for me to respect there determinations, however "inconvenient" it may seem to me personally.

Blessings!

very nice. God's ways are at times beyond our understanding .... but His will is PERFECT

God bless ....

Oh and just a question for Gemma, you said you were an aspiring lay foundress ... of what community / charism etc? I'm just curious but you don't have to answer if you don't want

Our pastor was married and has 5 kids and like 2374858023098234 grandchildren

Hi Phriends,

I ended up stuck in traffic for a an hour or so (mariners game, soccer game and concert all disgorging their patrons at the same time/ then a drawbridge) and caught the update on this thread.
It's hard for me to imagine the frustration and pain a person has when they aren't given the chance to try their vocation.

I am pretty ignorant about discernment processes. I just looked for traditional Benedictine communities on-line and when I came to St. Emma's web-site, My heart said try here. And when I talked with Mother, I was able to open my heart to her. If that hadn't happened, I probably would have contacted another Benedictine Community. (ANd believe me, it was a grace. My director was amazed.) SO when folks talk about checking out several places, it's a different process.) But I hope and pray that every precious desire to give oneself to Our Lord is fulfilled in His time.

You know, the postulant they have at St. Emma's now is 51 and Sr. Petra, their most recent solemn Professed is 61. Mother told me they have 2 sisters who are 30 but I think they are now not taking older folks. Maybe communities just need to understand their own limits.

It's funny. I feel so old (and am) on this site. But I'll be the youngest age-wise if I enter there. WHich as you know is my hope and prayer. And I'm actually a little nervous about it. I hope I don't get on people's nerves.

For what it's worth. That's my few cents.

love and prayers,

dare

P.S. I would think that Communities that do active ministry would be thrilled to have such experienced and skilled people enter. In contemplative communities, I think health, physical strength and "trainability" may matter more.

Right now, I'm trying to get the Nuns and Monks of Our Lady of the Cloister (Cloisterites) founded. I'm getting the paperwork together for the bishop/Rome/Ecclesia Dei Commission.

You can also go to http://cloisters.tripod.com/id60.html and
http://cloisters.tripod.com/id61.html to see the other proposed charisms.

All will be Ecclesia Dei Traditionalist (in communion with Rome). And yes, all will be habited!!!

Please feel free to email me off-list if you wish.

Blessings,
Gemma

hey that could help priests be more of a sheperd
and by the way some decons become priests after their wife dies
for example what if they want to be a priest but couldnt because they were married well thay lived out their wedding vows by remaining married and then becoming a priest there for forfilling both vocations
just some food for thought
PS sorry for rambling

the vocation director of my dioceses ( please forgive me if i spelled that wrong) has like 8 kids he is a widower. pretty cool. God Bless and Mary keep you all