Well I finally worked up the nerve to tell my friends about my vocation and their reaction wasnt so hot In fact they reacted with anger. They want to know why I have to "die to the world" by giving up my name and not being able to come home or visit them etc. I really wanted to explain things to them in a loving manner so as to not turn them off but I failed miserably. I have always been a little like Moses in that regard lol. Can someone help me explain this to them? I probably dont know all the reasons behind these "sacrifices" myself even though I look forward to the day when I can surrender all to God.

Allison

Everyone's reaction is different!!! My friends didn't support me until i started visting communities. Some just gave me carp!!! All are chosen few are called. This is a call where only few can make it and be happy in life doing so!!! As time goes on you might change your mind but right now this is where you feel God is calling you to do in your life, to help serve others in a specail way!!!

I don't know if you can ever really explain this to others. It is a very radical lifestyle indeed, and unless one is gifted with faith, hard to understand fully. It is never easy 'coming out' to others and letting them know you are thinking about entering a convent. You told them, let it sink in for awhile and maybe try again at some other time. Good luck to you in your search, and don't let the opinon of others dissuade you from your journey!

it's a grace.

I'm sorry your friends had such a negative reaction. However, it's a pretty radical decision for one to give of themselves entirely and trust completely in God...particularly in today's world. I think all you can do is to pray for them and continue to share little parts of your discernment with them. And just let them know you're open to their questions, as long as they inquire respectfully and don't use it as a chance to "beat up" on you. The only helpful way I can think of explaining it to people who aren't open about the idea of a religious vocation is relate it to marriage. If your friends are Catholic, it'll be easier, of course. God bless.

The reaction I got was astonding, but Thank God everyone supported me, but obviously my enemies are so hateful, that they will try and tear you away from God, here is what I say my friend; "The chief point is beware, not of men, but beware of displeasing God and His own majesty."

How to explain:

Allison,

Don't pay any attention to what others say/think. As long as you're listening to God it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks.

What's funny is that with Sr. Lauren I was most surprised by the reaction from many whom I consider practicing Catholics. When a non-Catholic or a CINO (Catholic in name only) was negative it was generally out of ignorance and in time they usually grew to accept and respect, if not exactly embrace, her discernment. Some of our friends, though, folks active in the pro-life movement, etc. were very negative, both to my wife and I and to Sr. Lauren. It was bizarre and really bothered us for a while. In time we all just blew them off.

The evil one is not at all happy about what you are considering and having failed to turn you away from this calling he is using others, family and friends, to discourage and criticise you in the hopes that you'll start to experience doubt. Like I said before, pay them no heed.

Smile at them. Educate them. Pray for them... and move on.

I compare this process to the (how many?) stages of dying.

Their angry reaction is actually deep-seated hurt--and some egotism that you're even thinking of giving them up.

But, like everyone else has said, it's between you and God. Suffering rejection by friends is all part of it.

OFFER IT UP for those who are still timid about their vocations, that they may have the courage to follow!

Blessings,
Gemma

This is a matter between you and God, your vocation's ground is based on love, and through that love comes your willingness and trust in God. Don't pay attention to them, they are ignorant, you have been blessed and could very welll be called to serve God. But in serving God you are most definitely serving others, tell your friends in a charitable way that you are going to pray for them, remember them, and you will always love them. Tell them that in their lives they go a certain path, a path that they think God wants them to take and in your case, it's being of service to everyone but yourself. It's this desire you have to give everything to God. And if they can't understand that concept just explain to them, give them an example of say fathers day, you want to give your father a present. Why?? Because you love him. Why do you want to give Jesus yourself? Because you love Him. This is a very very small way of looking at it, but I'm no expert and can only look at things in a simple way. Don't take more time with them then nessacry to educate them, after you've given them the facts and explained as best you can then you pray for them and step back. Whether they accept it or not is up to them, and you can only help them by praying to the Holy Spirit that he will give them the grace to see it. But you educate them out of charity for them, so that you won't just say "ok i'm leaving you forever bye" and hurt them. Be gentle and explain as best you can then back away and pray. You see? Just hold on to Jesus and never loose your relationship with Him God Bless you!
In Christ,
-Lori

That is so true! I have found that my non-Catholic friends have been really supportive and the people who I thought would be most supportive, those that are most active in the parish and in their prayer lives have been really negative about the whole thing. It is really crazy how all of the reactions I have been getting are the exact opposite from what I expected

Thankfully I have been taking it all in stride and am almost beside myself with excitment for my upcoming OLAM visit


Lori,

Thanks for putting it in such a beautiful way

oh your going to visit OLAM?? Thats wonderful! I know you will enjoy your stay! God Bless you

I sure am!!!!!!!! 56 days and counting Maybe I wont come home LOL

I read a lot of responses, and they are good. but they can tend toward the idea of accusing your friends (or anybody else who reacts negatively to a vocation). That is too simplistic an understanding, and probably at times untrue.

First of all, their negative reaction show more than anything how valuable you are to them. If you were to announce that you are getting a career of any sort that would require you move to siberia, where you get no cell phone network, or postal service, and are likely to only communicate every month or so, i think they would be just as upset.

Second of all, their negative reaction probably reveals their own insecurities in their spirituality or relationship with God. A lot of people are scared of religious not because they are a bunch of hypocritical sinners, or close minded bigots. Rather, i find, that people have such a profound respect for people who make a radical decision in their life, that it makes them feel so inadequate. They may attack you with highly emotional charged arguements that "you don't have to go so far... etc." And what that really says deep down is that they have been telling themselves that, and are convincted in their half-effort spirituality of not doing much. Maybe they got their because they are convinced that God would never forgive them, that God would never love them, or that they are just so worthless. Its real easy to cast stones, its entirely different to look into someones soul.

Third of all, the negative reaction concentrated around dieing to the world, may seem difficult. We believe that creation is beautiful. What you have to show them most of all is that you love life. You are not running away scared. A negative reaction could very well be that they worry that you could be making a decision that will be emotionally dangerous. Remind them that you intend to live life to the fullest in Christ alone.

My approach has been this. I really hope you understand. I love you. And i don't feel that i am giving you up. Rather i am giving up everything for you, and all those i love, so that you may see God.

SHALOM

Jesus loves you, i admire your courage Piobaire. I will pray for you.

I eased my friends into it. They've been in on my journey about all of this for pretty much the whole time. I think that made it easier for them. It's important to answer their questions gently, even the idiotic ones about never having sex, etc. Do they understand? No, not entirely. But they want me to be happy. and so their questions, even the dumb ones, are their attempt to accept what I'm doing, an attempt to understand it.

I have difficulty explaining it—how I knew, and how really, I feel I'm gaining much more than I'm giving up, and how ultimately, I fell in love, and I don't deserve it and I can't explain it, but I did.

I'll add more later. I have to run.

LOL! What an AMAZING place have a safe trip!! Are you going to actually visit the sisters, and discern with the Poor Clares, or are you going just to visit the shrine?

God Bless!
-uruviel

That's funny because the responses I've gotten are opposite of that. Now granted, most of my Catholic friends either have discerned a vocation to the priesthood/religious life, had at one point been discerning priesthood/religious life, or knew someone who had entered already... ...and I've also purposely avoided, for now, telling people who I know will react negatively to it.
Although...there might be a difference between telling someone you're entering a cloistered order versus a more active order....

They should of saw that show on A&E


"God or the girl"






INLOVE Jnorm

Yes, I am going to discern with the PCPA's for the week. I feel soooo drawn to their community. I dream about them all the time and I cant go one day without checking out their website. And get this, the other day I went to confession with a new priest and out of no where he mentioned that I should go visit "this lovely community of Poor Clares in Alabama"! I almost fell off my seat I really hope that God is calling me there but if not I pray that I am able to discern His will for my life.

Allison



Hey Jennifer!

Sorry I havent gotten back to you yet. You reminded me of what happened when I told another friend about my vocation. Her first response was....But that means no sex! and then she said......So does that mean you cant get married?? I just had to laugh

WOW that's so awesome!! I LOVE the Poor Clares, and hope to make a visit when I reach the age, I just love them! Do you feel callled to the cloister or extern life? I hope you have a great trip!! you will have to tell me all about it! Have you ever talked to Lauren (totustuus) before she entered there? If not, I'm sure you'll see her there! Are you staying IN the cloister, or just making a day retreat? Anyways, God Bless!
In Christ,
uruviel

I never knew anything about the Poor Clares or EWTN or the shrine until just recently but I have been evolving into a great love for the Fransican spirituality so I am very excited for the opportunity to visit. Right now I feel called to the extern life but I can totally see myself entering the cloister later in life. It is such a gift to have the opportunity to experience both lives. I will be staying in the guesthouse for the week and basically shadowing the externs in all their activites to get a feel for the life. I hope to get the opportunity to enter the cloister at least for a little while during my visit to see what their life is like but as it is full at the moment and I would only be accepted as an extern I might not be able to??? I never knew Sr Lauren before she entered. I just came across this site which is another great blessing from God. After speaking to OLAM Dad and others I cant wait to talk to Sr Lauren in person. I am sure I will be busting at the seems after my visit and would love to tell you all about it. Maybe I will even get some nice pics to share!
God Bless,
Allison

...I have also lost 2 close friends because of my wanting to become a nun...& certain family members are distancing themselves from me too (I'm a Catholic convert)...but I still love them & pray for them & if they want to ask about this...I will talk to them...but I would not recommend trying to explain things to them if they are not willing to listen or trying to understand...I thinkit is the beginning of detachment...Trying to do what is pleasing to God & not necessarily pleasing to others...



Many prayers here for you & for when you go!

Well I am no where near the photographer that you are but I will do my best Maybe if a bunch of us visited OLAM from time to time we could smuggle out pictures of Sr Lauren for OLAM dad lol!






Thanks brandelynmarie I am sorry about your friends. I am new to this site so you may have said this already but do you know what community you are being called to? My prayers are with you in your journey too!

God Bless,
Allison