As I wrote a couple of weeks ago, I am spending my summer in a remote area of Nepal. While being cut off from Christian fellowship and the sacraments is not doing wonders for my vocational discernment, the company of local people - most of whom live with a joyful simplicity extremely similar to that which I have encountered in convents and monasteries - has helped me to reassess my priorities.
I originally thought I was being called to enter a Carmelite order with a mission in the world, such as the Corpus Christi Carmelites or the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus. I do still feel a strong attraction to those communities, especially the second one. But my time in Nepal has made me wonder whether my desire to seek out apostolic Carmels was coloured by a secret fear of the cloister. So I have written a letter to the prioress of an enclosed Carmelite monastery (Quidenham Carmel, England - it has a website) to ask if I can visit the community when I get back home. These sisters have met me once before, so I am sure they will be able to help clear up my misconceptions.
Please pray for me. Just as I thought that my future was mapped out, I have stumbled into a mist. It's a beautiful mist, and I'm not feeling at all worried, but I can't see where I'm going.
I prayed hard about my vocation, asking God to show me whether He wants me to be a contemplative or an apostolic sister. That night I dreamed that I wrote to a close friend of mine and she gave me the answer. Do you suppose that this dream came from God or is a product of my own subconscious? Should I follow it up?
Full Version: Advice Much Needed
Whether a message from God or your own subconcious it would be worth considering. If it is directly from God, then of course it should be followed, but our own subconcious desires guide us toward where we should go, particularly as far as cloistered vs active life.
You have my prayers,
Chris
You have my prayers,
Chris
Keep on praying. And then pray a bit more. You probably don't need to be any more fervent in your prayer (although of course who am I to talk about your prayer life), but consistency is the big thing (and maybe the hardest): every morning and every evening.
One thing I've come to learn this year is that more than anything, I should ask for an open heart. Ideas, possibilities and opportunities all crop up - and they may all be laudable and good, but if I don't possess a certain stillness I won't be able to determine which of these good things is what God wants of me.
So in response to your dream, I would suggest giving it some credence, but leaving the confirmation of that to God. Keep regular in your prayer and I'm certain that He'll confirm or deny it in your heart.
Oh, and by the way, some years ago the Carmelites at Quidenham established a house at Sclerder in Cornwall. Just..a thought, should God indeed be leading you in the contemplative direction
Love and prayers,
PP
One thing I've come to learn this year is that more than anything, I should ask for an open heart. Ideas, possibilities and opportunities all crop up - and they may all be laudable and good, but if I don't possess a certain stillness I won't be able to determine which of these good things is what God wants of me.
So in response to your dream, I would suggest giving it some credence, but leaving the confirmation of that to God. Keep regular in your prayer and I'm certain that He'll confirm or deny it in your heart.
Oh, and by the way, some years ago the Carmelites at Quidenham established a house at Sclerder in Cornwall. Just..a thought, should God indeed be leading you in the contemplative direction
Love and prayers,
PP
I just looked at their website. It's truly gorgeous. I wish you much joy. I feel you will enter there. I felt a strong connection as I read it and prayed about it for you. I hope that is okay to say. Be strong and rejoice in knowing that our Lord is calling you for Himself! Perpetualove
Thank you all for your advice and prayers. Puella, I often feel exactly the same way about the need to develop an open and listening heart - there are so many exciting possibilities that it's difficult to know which one God has earmarked for me. As it is not essential for me to find out right this instant (although I am impatient to know!) I'm just going to enjoy the thrill and wonder of all the potential as I continue with my discernment.
I just looked at their website. It's truly gorgeous. I wish you much joy. I feel you will enter there. I felt a strong connection as I read it and prayed about it for you. I hope that is okay to say. Be strong and rejoice in knowing that our Lord is calling you for Himself! Perpetualove
Which website are you talking about, Perpetualove? I mentioned three orders. I don't think it's wrong for you to share your intuition - in fact, I'm curious.
Note to all:
www.carmelite.org.uk is the website for the British Province of Carmelites. Even if you live thousands of miles away from Britain, go into the nuns' section of the website and click on the link marked 'Golders Green'. There is a beautiful article there about Carmel in general and, more specifically, how it is lived out in that particular monastery.
www.carmelite.org.uk/Quidenham.html is the page of the community I am considering.
QUOTE(Perpetualove @ Sep 9 2006, 09:37 AM) [snapback]1059502[/snapback]
I just looked at their website. It's truly gorgeous. I wish you much joy. I feel you will enter there. I felt a strong connection as I read it and prayed about it for you. I hope that is okay to say. Be strong and rejoice in knowing that our Lord is calling you for Himself! Perpetualove
Which website are you talking about, Perpetualove? I mentioned three orders. I don't think it's wrong for you to share your intuition - in fact, I'm curious.
Note to all:
www.carmelite.org.uk is the website for the British Province of Carmelites. Even if you live thousands of miles away from Britain, go into the nuns' section of the website and click on the link marked 'Golders Green'. There is a beautiful article there about Carmel in general and, more specifically, how it is lived out in that particular monastery.
www.carmelite.org.uk/Quidenham.html is the page of the community I am considering.
Looks lovely, CA. I felt great peace through the pix.
Blessings,
Gemma
Blessings,
Gemma
Quidenham Carmel, England is the website that I looked at, and it this community that just spoke to me of you and your vocation. I am praying very hard for you! God love you, and may you give Him all back! Love, Perpetualove
I've had an e-mail from Sister Teresa, the prioress of Quideham Carmel! 
I feel as if I've swallowed the sun; I'm sure radiance must be seeping out of my every pore. Here is a copy of Sister's e-mail. I want to share it with everybody. She says I can go and stay with them for two weeks or more!
I feel as if I've swallowed the sun; I'm sure radiance must be seeping out of my every pore. Here is a copy of Sister's e-mail. I want to share it with everybody. She says I can go and stay with them for two weeks or more!
QUOTE
Dear Vicky,
Of course we remember you! It is really nice to hear from you again. Today's was the first email I have had from you; my computer has been very fragile of late, and it may well be it that lost your first message. I am so glad that you tried again, and am sorry for what must have seemed like a very long wait before getting an answer.
I know that God can pick very interesting moments - on occasion they can be too interesting by half. Your account made me smile. We would love to have you to stay for two weeks, or longer if you want to. Come any time that suits you. (I imagine that you are restricted by the university terms.) And come as soon as you would like.
A word of warning: If you come in late December/early January you will be here for two major feasts: Mary Mother of God on 1st January, and the Epiphany on 6th January. These are not typical Carmelite days in that they are much more celebratory, and we have 'talking' breakfasts and suppers, and we are free to go for walks and chat in the afternoon, instead of working. And the liturgy is slightly more elaborate. The advantage of your coming then is that it might make the purely contemplative life seem a little less extreme and rigorous. We are quite good at enjoying ourselves. And I think and hope that we would be able to calm your fears about 'cloister phobia'.
Enclosure has such value and purpose, and I for one could not live without it: it forces one to concentrate and conveniently relieves one of any danger of dissipating one's energy. I hope that we would be able to help you discern whether you are meant for the apostolic or contemplative way of Carmel.
With prayers (we shall pray for you 'officially' out loud at Vespers, and unoficial prayers for you will be buzzing round my head during the day) and also love from Teresa
Of course we remember you! It is really nice to hear from you again. Today's was the first email I have had from you; my computer has been very fragile of late, and it may well be it that lost your first message. I am so glad that you tried again, and am sorry for what must have seemed like a very long wait before getting an answer.
I know that God can pick very interesting moments - on occasion they can be too interesting by half. Your account made me smile. We would love to have you to stay for two weeks, or longer if you want to. Come any time that suits you. (I imagine that you are restricted by the university terms.) And come as soon as you would like.
A word of warning: If you come in late December/early January you will be here for two major feasts: Mary Mother of God on 1st January, and the Epiphany on 6th January. These are not typical Carmelite days in that they are much more celebratory, and we have 'talking' breakfasts and suppers, and we are free to go for walks and chat in the afternoon, instead of working. And the liturgy is slightly more elaborate. The advantage of your coming then is that it might make the purely contemplative life seem a little less extreme and rigorous. We are quite good at enjoying ourselves. And I think and hope that we would be able to calm your fears about 'cloister phobia'.
Enclosure has such value and purpose, and I for one could not live without it: it forces one to concentrate and conveniently relieves one of any danger of dissipating one's energy. I hope that we would be able to help you discern whether you are meant for the apostolic or contemplative way of Carmel.
With prayers (we shall pray for you 'officially' out loud at Vespers, and unoficial prayers for you will be buzzing round my head during the day) and also love from Teresa
Fabulous! Warm, welcoming, everything you could hope for...may God continue to hold you and lead you, and may you trust in His warm embrace. I NEVER say this - especially on a board like this, but I feel something very special about this Carmel and YOU! And you are in my prayers, heart and love, Perpetualove
Oooh lovely! How exciting!
Love and prayers,
PP
Love and prayers,
PP
Very compassionate and impirational letter. I will pray for you.
Sounds good! keep going! 
I am keeping going, have no fear. 
FINALLY I am going to have a countdown of my very own. A countdown to my visit. I am going to stay for a few days on 9th March, with a view to going for a longer period of time over the Easter or summer holiday (the holiday chosen will depend on how preparation for my exams goes).
So...err...maths isn't my strong point. That means I have twenty-seven days to go - I think!
FINALLY I am going to have a countdown of my very own. A countdown to my visit. I am going to stay for a few days on 9th March, with a view to going for a longer period of time over the Easter or summer holiday (the holiday chosen will depend on how preparation for my exams goes).
So...err...maths isn't my strong point. That means I have twenty-seven days to go - I think!
QUOTE(Cathoholic Anonymous @ Feb 19 2007, 06:10 PM) [snapback]1200777[/snapback]
I am keeping going, have no fear.
FINALLY I am going to have a countdown of my very own. A countdown to my visit. I am going to stay for a few days on 9th March, with a view to going for a longer period of time over the Easter or summer holiday (the holiday chosen will depend on how preparation for my exams goes).
So...err...maths isn't my strong point. That means I have twenty-seven days to go - I think!
FINALLY I am going to have a countdown of my very own. A countdown to my visit. I am going to stay for a few days on 9th March, with a view to going for a longer period of time over the Easter or summer holiday (the holiday chosen will depend on how preparation for my exams goes).
So...err...maths isn't my strong point. That means I have twenty-seven days to go - I think!
You will be in my prayers! I am happy with you
.... ... 
Youwill be in my prayers as you make your visit. 
That is very encouraging. Godspeed on your journey
The last month of this term has really flown by. I'm off to Carmel this afternoon! I still need to pack my case. And prepare a Lenten soup lunch for the students at the chaplaincy, as it's my turn to do the cooking. And write an essay. Oh, help...so much to do, but so much excitement...
I still need to pack my case. And prepare a Lenten soup lunch for the students at the chaplaincy, as it's my turn to do the cooking. And write an essay. Oh, help...so much to do, but so much excitement...
I hope that you have a wonderful visit.
This is wonderful news
Hooray!!!!! 
QUOTE(Cathoholic Anonymous @ Mar 9 2007, 03:37 AM) [snapback]1210813[/snapback]
The last month of this term has really flown by. I'm off to Carmel this afternoon! I still need to pack my case. And prepare a Lenten soup lunch for the students at the chaplaincy, as it's my turn to do the cooking. And write an essay. Oh, help...so much to do, but so much excitement...
I still need to pack my case. And prepare a Lenten soup lunch for the students at the chaplaincy, as it's my turn to do the cooking. And write an essay. Oh, help...so much to do, but so much excitement...If you enter Quidenham, we will practically be neighbors (I am going into Wolverhampton!).
Prayers for you.
I'm back. The retreat was wonderful, one of the best I've ever made. I am now ready to seriously consider that particular Carmel. Please keep me in your prayers. The sisters were very encouraging and kind - they were patient with all my questions and extremely gentle in the way they introduced me to their life. I had a mild cold, but by Saturday night the sisters were convinced that I was going down with plague and they bundled me off to bed early. The prioress then marched into my cell with an extra blanket, a hot water bottle, and a tray laden down with hot blackcurrant juice, decongestant ointment, throat lozenges, and LemSip drinks. Then there was the anonymous donor who kept leaving tissues at my place in chapel, complete with smiley faces and funny messages.
Even more touching was the way the sisters handled my disability. I have dyspraxia, a disorder of co-ordination, balance, and spatial perception. In my case it is unusually severe. My task yesterday afternoon was to peel apples. As the community grows its own fruit, there were a lot of apples and they were very large. There were about a hunded in the baskets. Three other people were working on the peeling with me. By the time half an hour had elapsed, I had only managed to peel one apple - and even that still had strips of skin clinging to it. The other three, in contrast, had emptied the baskets. I could feel my face slowly turning red. I'm never sure how strangers are going to react to my dyspraxia, especially as it is neurological and doesn't come with any obvious outward signs, such as guide dogs or hearing aids. A lot of people have never even heard of it. Feeling quite worried, I nervously looked up at the sister who was working opposite me. She said in a low voice, "That is your personal apple, and I'm sure it tastes just as good as these." I don't think she realises quite how much that meant to me.
The only bad thing is that accidentally left my Bible and my prayer book behind.
The retreat was wonderful, one of the best I've ever made. I am now ready to seriously consider that particular Carmel. Please keep me in your prayers. The sisters were very encouraging and kind - they were patient with all my questions and extremely gentle in the way they introduced me to their life. I had a mild cold, but by Saturday night the sisters were convinced that I was going down with plague and they bundled me off to bed early. The prioress then marched into my cell with an extra blanket, a hot water bottle, and a tray laden down with hot blackcurrant juice, decongestant ointment, throat lozenges, and LemSip drinks. Then there was the anonymous donor who kept leaving tissues at my place in chapel, complete with smiley faces and funny messages. Even more touching was the way the sisters handled my disability. I have dyspraxia, a disorder of co-ordination, balance, and spatial perception. In my case it is unusually severe. My task yesterday afternoon was to peel apples. As the community grows its own fruit, there were a lot of apples and they were very large. There were about a hunded in the baskets. Three other people were working on the peeling with me. By the time half an hour had elapsed, I had only managed to peel one apple - and even that still had strips of skin clinging to it. The other three, in contrast, had emptied the baskets. I could feel my face slowly turning red. I'm never sure how strangers are going to react to my dyspraxia, especially as it is neurological and doesn't come with any obvious outward signs, such as guide dogs or hearing aids. A lot of people have never even heard of it. Feeling quite worried, I nervously looked up at the sister who was working opposite me. She said in a low voice, "That is your personal apple, and I'm sure it tastes just as good as these." I don't think she realises quite how much that meant to me.
The only bad thing is that accidentally left my Bible and my prayer book behind.
QUOTE(Cathoholic Anonymous @ Mar 11 2007, 09:05 PM) [snapback]1212289[/snapback]
I don't think she realises quite how much that meant to me.
The only bad thing is that accidentally left my Bible and my prayer book behind.
The only bad thing is that accidentally left my Bible and my prayer book behind.
I am really happy to read your report. It's unfortunate that you left your Bible and brayer book behind. I am glad the nuns were so willing to be accomodating. It makes a lot of difference.
wow, seems like you were well cared for and cared about. I have found most contemplatives to be very gracious souls and wonderful hosts. I wish you much peace in your decision.
AliceM
AliceM
QUOTE(Cathoholic Anonymous @ Mar 11 2007, 08:05 PM) [snapback]1212289[/snapback]
The only bad thing is that accidentally left my Bible and my prayer book behind.
Well that just means you have to go back and see them again! God Bless you!
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