My question: where do our desires play into the scheme of discerning our vocations? For example, say a man desires married life. Is he called to give that up for God or what?

Because my spiritual director keeps telling me: "God won't work against your desires, but with you. He won't force you into something that He knows will make you unhappy." At the same time, in the "Imitation of Christ", Thomas a'Kempis says we should regard our desires as nothing and strictly follow what God has set out for us. This leaves me feeling lost in the wilderness.

To lay out my problems quite plainly, I have been at the seminary for two years and still don't feel a call to the priesthood. But I don't feel more reassured about the other vocational paths as when I came in. Is this a good thing? Have I just eliminated one option or another? Anybody's advice would be appreciated.

Follow St. Thomas...not the Imitation!
God wants us to be happy and a vocation is an INVITATION not a command. Our desires play an important part in our vocation. He invites but YOU MUST CHOOSE!
Do you want to become a priest? That is different than "feeling" a call. Feelings and desire are not quite the same thing. If you want to become a priest, if you desire it and you are happy no matter if you do or don't " feel" called than stay on. However, if as you seem to suggest by what your SD says you are unhappy than you need to think about leaving because God truly wants us to be happy.

Another thing. Although getting feedback from those of us out here, be cautious about asking for this. Your spiritual director knows you..we don't!

I'll be praying for you that the Holy Spirit will give you the gifts you need to make this decision. Also, follow something from St. Catherine. Ask the Lord to purify your desires because in doing so your and His will become one.

In Christ,
Sr. Mary Catharine

I too was going to mention St. Thomas. If I remember correctly, St Thomas says that one may not be inclined to the state to which he is called, though. I'll have to ask a scholar and get back to you..

I agree with what Sr. Mary Catharine said ... first rely on what your spiritual director has told you.

But to add my two cents.

One thing I noticed from your post is that you said "but I don't feel more reassured about the other vocational paths as when I came in".

The fact that there is no reassurance in one direction or another is a sign that you may need to stay put for now. I don't have the instructions in front of me that St. Ignatius states, but basically if, when pondering one decision or another you do not have peace then don't make any changes. And if you do make a decision it would be most wise to run it by your spiritual director before acting on it.

In my own experience, when I was a postulant there came a time that I wanted to leave, yet I wanted to stay. Having no peace in either direction, I stayed put until I was able to come to a decision and have peace about it. I did make the decision to leave, but when I did I had an immense amount of inner peace that came along with the decision (even though my life was about to turn upside down). As I said -- unless your spiritual director is saying otherwise I suggest staying put until you can make a decision that gives you peace.

Sr. Mary Catharine also gave a wonderful suggestion to ask the Lord to purify your desires! I'll pray that He will do so, so that the desires of your heart are His desires.

God bless you, and trust that in due time He will make things clear to you.

-- Carmen

Ok, I have NO authority to put into this whatsoever, I'm probably younger and a LOT further behind on these things than you are... But I'll put in my thoughts anyway.

About 4 or 5 years ago was the first time I considered that maybe I was supposed to be a nun. I was very unhappy with that and threw it out about a year and a half or 2 years later when a religion teacher told me that God wouldn't will us to do anything we didn't want to do. That I think was waaaay off. For one thing, a young high-schooler probably doesn't completely know what they themselves want. For another thing, Look at Jesus! Even HE prayed that if it be God's will that that cup pass by Him. Wow. So about a year ago I finally started reconsidering, and I realize that I'm not completely opposed to the whole nun thing, so to speak (although I'm REALLY hoping that God wants me to get married and be a mother!)

I'm not so sure this pertains to your situation, because it seems that you want to be a priest but you're not sure if you are being called to to that. (?) But maybe it can be of some small help, and I'll pray for your discernment (a prayer for mine would be appreciated too! )

God bless!
~Katie

I would have to say that you've received a lot of wise replies. Again, we don't know your situation, so in the end, we are hardly the ones to give particular advice. And yet, even though I don't know you, I'd have to ask (and these are questions to ask yourself, you don't need to answer on this phorum). . .when you say you don't 'feel' called, are you looking for some mystical confirmation of your vocation? Or would you say that, through and through, you simply don't feel comfortable with your vocational path. What made you choose to enter seminary in the first place? What made you feel called to enter, and those who accepted you, what did they see in you that made them believe you might have a vocation to the priesthood?

Your SD knows you, what does he think insofar as witnessing you there in the seminary? Do you seem to fit in well, interact well with the others and in your studies? In the end, I'd have to say I agree with Carmen, since no vocation gives you a peaceful feeling at this point, I'd stay put, until you DO feel at peace with your decision.

God bless you.

I'm not a nun like Sister Mary-Catharine or someone discerning like many of these fine people are, so take what I say with all of that in mind.

I have days when my children are screaming their bloody heads off and, as I belligerently wade through the messy house towards my oblivious husband, I wish I was anywhere but here.

There have been times when I wished I could be like my dear friends or family with their big homes, wide circle of friends and activities, or nice dinner parties. Instead I have the simplicity of my home and what it is that I am called do.

I suppose, I could freely choose another path and even still be happily married. It looks real tempting at times. It might even give me some form of happiness. But in the end, that life is not the one for me. This life for me is, despite all the struggle and sometimes the doubt, where I know God wants me to be. I have no greater content than to tuck my children in bed at night or to hear one say they are glad I'm home to take care of their sniffles. That is my peace.

Take Sister's advice since she is the one in the know. I am but a housewife.

First of all, what level seminary are you in? High school, college, or major? Doicesan or order? I graduated from an archdiocesan high school seminary but never went further in the system.

Second, yes, you would be "giving it up", or, if you want to put it another way, "exchanging" marriage for the celibate life (and since the celibate life is considered the "higher calling", one might call it "upgrading" rather than "exchanging").

Third, be very careful with the "what God has set out for us" criteria, because it could be used to manipulate.

Finally, speaking as a fellow male who has considered the ordained life, ability to handle celibacy is one of the factors in discernment. And as one seminarian (now ordained for many years) once said in dealing with the celibacy issue in discernment, the hard part is not the physical part; the hard part is projecting yourself into your forties and fifties and seeing people your own age with children and grandchildren and trying to determine if you can handle not having any of your own (and no, he was not including "spiritual" children).

I have a friend who keeps telling me that God willl make it work so just listen to your spiritual director it is possible that your are called to be a priest but this is not the time or place
the vocations director in my diosese ran from being a priest for 15 years but it has made him very understanding of what it is like to not be comfortable with your vocation which is helpful for many it is possible that the seminar you are in is not the one God intends for you to be in or that you are not called to the priesthood but life as a reliigious brother or as a married man who is also a decon
Pray about it with your spiritual director then lay it at Jesus' feet He will show you in time (His time not yours)
i will pray for you
-chatbox

<I would have to say that you've received a lot of wise replies. Again, we don't know your situation, so in the end, we are hardly the ones to give particular advice. And yet, even though I don't know you, I'd have to ask (and these are questions to ask yourself, you don't need to answer on this phorum). . .when you say you don't 'feel' called, are you looking for some mystical confirmation of your vocation? Or would you say that, through and through, you simply don't feel comfortable with your vocational path. What made you choose to enter seminary in the first place? What made you feel called to enter, and those who accepted you, what did they see in you that made them believe you might have a vocation to the priesthood?

Your SD knows you, what does he think insofar as witnessing you there in the seminary? Do you seem to fit in well, interact well with the others and in your studies? In the end, I'd have to say I agree with Carmen, since no vocation gives you a peaceful feeling at this point, I'd stay put, until you DO feel at peace with your decision.>

You are about which part?

I accidentally screwed up with my trying to edit my post. I agree with everyone's advice. I will take this all into consideration.

God bless you my friends! Hopefully we will all meet up in Heaven someday!

-Lucha

I have received what I at first thought were conflicting answers to this very question - an injunction to 'take the most revolting road' (St John of the Cross) and a gentle reminder that 'God doesn't call us to be unhappy' (a Dominican priest). As John of the Cross is one of my favourite saints, I wanted to side with him, although his words sounded painful. Then I realised that it wasn't a question of taking sides. The priest hadn't contradicted St John and that St John would most probably have agreed with the priest.

A true vocation should give you a deep sense of abiding peace no matter what the outward circumstances look like. St Teresa of Avila felt as if her whole body was being wrenched asunder when she left for Carmel, but paradoxically she felt at peace with her decision as soon as she set foot in the convent. Somewhere beneath all the confusion, in your heart of hearts, you'll know the answer.



God bless.

God will not call you to anything that you do not desire....






but.........





you may not recognize that you desire it..........




Our heart always knows what it desires and tells us what is true and leads us in this direction. However, we do not always listen to our heart and its original needs. Sometimes it takes a very long time to figure out exactly what it is that we desire. Because see what you desire will be what God desires because what you desire comes from your heart which is originally a true and good thing. Who gave you your heart and it's desires? God. So your desires and your heart cannot be bad or wrong.....you just might be ignoring them, or not listening or putting your own influence on them.

Sorry..........................

triple post...........slow computer..........thought it wasn't posting