Hi everyone,

I just wanted to say thank you for your support and prayers

For the time being I have put the brakes on the process and need to step back and assess things as I am very unhappy in a spiritual sense and need to think some stuff through.

I just want to thank you all for being there..............and catch you all later

Belinda

Belinda

You will be in my prayers. We all understand how confusing this time can be. Please remember that whatever you choose, God will still love you.

Annie

Never forget that God loves you! Even if you can't feel him, he is there for you.
Please take care and know we are here for you and we'll be praying for you.

Thinking of you at this time and praying that everything will work out well for you Belinda. Just remember you have a wonderful "phamily" to support you. God Bless and LOL Jenni.

Belinda,

Know that I am praying for you and just place yourself in our lords hands and he will help you through this time, and like others have said, he loves you very much!!

God Bless You!

JMJ + FC

Belinda,

I have been keeping you in mind. I read about some of the difficulties you have been having (in another thread) and my heart goes out to you. Be assured of our prayers and hang in there. Jesus loves you

Lauren

Belinda,

I pray for you every day. Take care.

Piamaria

Thank you so much.

please pray.......6 more friends have passed away under similar circumstances......my heart is bleeding out and the church........ she is no comfort at all.

God is still there and he understands.....but there is no healing only pain......

Belinda

A man with a death sentence hanging over his head thought the same thing as he cried and sweated blood in Gethsemane. There was no comfort for Him either. Even His best friends fell asleep.

He suffered for you and with you. May He be with you at this time and welcome your friends into His home. God bless you.

Belinda

Great pain can open us up to great love. Allow yourself to feel the pain but also be open to the fact that God is trying to love you in your time of pain. Silent adoration in front of the Eucharist can be so healing if you have a private adoration chapel near you. If not, find a quiet spot alone where you can cry out to God and to tell Him how much pain you are feeling. I have spent hours with tears pouring down my face, begging God for His help, and then at my lowest point, I have felt His love fill me to overflowing. The words that always come to my mind are that "God is unbearable compassion." simply because His love is so great that it is almost unbearable. Let the pain dig a deep well inside your soul, and then let God fill it with the sweetest love imaginable.

Also ask St Michael the Archangel to come and spread his glorious wings of protection around you and feel safe in his embrace. It is his joy to fight off the evils of despair and hopelessness.

You are in my prayers every day.

Waving hello again.

I need to thank you for your support and prayers over the last weeks.....they have been very VERY important to me.

Just letting you all know I'm back. While I am not active as such in discernment, the brakes are on still. I still am a Tyburn addict and will be making my oblation with them. I do believe I am being led to another path....but that is not certain yet, as I still need to heal from what I have been through.

I'm here for all of you, I'm praying for you, and if you need an ear yell.

Pax,

Belinda

It's so great to hear from you, Belinda! I didn't post anything in this thread before, but you were in my thoughts and prayers! It's so great to hear you're making your oblation with the Tyburn sisters. God bless you!

God love you Belinda. We're glad you're back!

Lauren

Still praying for you Belinda...........God Bless ............LOL

Jenni

me too

Let us know when you are going to make your oblation Belinda, so we can pray especially for you then!

In the meantime you are in my prayers,

Kate

Hello again,

Well I come to ask your prayers as I have a most difficult choice to make......

Phamily.....my catholic spiritual life has fallen to bits. My faith in the church is shattered. My faith in some of her people is shattered....and I do not feel that I can call myself Catholic any longer.....

I ask your prayers, this one last time......I am ready to walk away.......

Belinda

I will go to Communion today with you in my prayer.

You may feel as though your spiritual life is dead, but that is a sign of its life - how many saints have braved this 'dark night of the soul'? Think of Jacob on the midnight hillside, where he 'saw the face of God and lived'. When the dawn came, he could only limp away. Think of Jesus Christ, alone on another dark hillside centuries further on, gripped by such fear that he cried and sweated blood while his disciples slept peacefully. Were they good friends to him then? Or on the next day, when he climbed the darkest hill of them all - Mount Calvary itself?

Interestingly, it wasn't Peter ("You are the rock on whom I will build my church...") who stepped forward to claim Jesus' mutilated body after the crucifixion. He did love Jesus very much, but he was weak and frightened and feeble. So it was two Pharisees, men who had been secret followers of Christ for fear of their associates, who stood at the cross and tended to his bloodied body afterwards - Nicodemus, who would only visit Jesus at night; and Joseph of Arimathea. They wouldn't admit their faith in Christ even when he was the person everybody wanted to know - but they were there at the cross. This shows that the people you would least expect to show mercy are often the ones God chooses to show his compassion, and that even his most faithful followers can sometimes behave in the most shameful ways. If you can, forgive any Catholics who have treated you badly.

It is important to remember that there is no value in a faith that has never been tested. There is no saint who has ever found it 'easy' to believe all the time. Faith is about love and love is about risk. Sometimes you have to risk everything you've ever had.

"When the grace of God comes to a man he can do all things, but when it leaves him he becomes poor and weak, abandoned, as it were, to affliction. Yet, in this condition he should not become dejected or despair. On the contrary, he should calmly await the will of God and bear whatever befalls him in praise of Jesus Christ, for after winter comes summer, after night, the day, and after the storm, a great calm." - St Thomas a Kempis, The Imitation of Christ

Certainly I will pray, Belinda

I'm sending up prayers for you, Belinda.

Keep in mind how many saints had to go through times of darkness, like yours. Saint Therese, for some time before she died (and even up until the point of her death) had a "dark night of faith"; she had doubts constantly plaguing her and it was only through her faith (not a feeling, but a decision) that she clung to Catholicism and became a saint.

Don't give up. Hang in there. "This too shall pass", and you will be stronger. Our Lord does not give people crosses they cannot carry: He weighs them with His Hands and warms them with His Arms. He knows you can handle these crosses (you must be a really strong person, Belinda!) I admire you. He has entrusted you with a heavy weight to bear, but He knows you can bear it, and He has definitely not left you to carry it alone.

We'll be praying for you. Stay very close to Our Lady's motherly heart. She is the friend of the afflicted, because the sorrows she experienced on earth were incomparable.

God bless you!!!

Lauren

My prayers, my prayers, my prayers. A rosary said for you today. One little note....if you are in a time of DESOLATION don't make a decision. That comes from St. Ignatius.....Don't make a huge change if you are in spiritual desolation for it can sometimes be a very bad thing to do. May God Bless you and Mary watch over you.

Allie

I can only endorse the wise advice given by CA and Lauren. Hang in there Belinda........you are not the first person whose faith has been tested. I will continue to pray for you. God Bless you.

Dear Belinda,

I ampraying the Divine Mercy Chaplet for you and tucking you deep in His great Sacred Heart. He who knew Gethsemane is with you now.

Piamaria

Unfortunately, Catholics are just as prone as everyone else to meanspiritedness, shallow and poor behavior towards our own kind. I don't know all the particulars of your recent experiences, sorry, but I can imagine.... If I had a dollar for every time I encountered these people in different parishes over my life, I could retire now very comfortably.
I have had to learn to love the Church for the good and the beauty that does exist, rather than walk away from it because of the many sins and failures of its members. My experience with other Christian churches (my husband is Presbyterian) is that they all have their share of difficult people too; in other words, sinners are everywhere, and some of the most offensive will be right there next to you no matter if the pew is Catholic, Anglican, Methodist,or New Age tree-hugger in the woods, etc., you get my point.
If you can learn to practice forgiveness in the spirit of "Forgive them, they know not what they do", you may still be able to love the Church for what it struggles to become, and not what it sadly is at times.
God bless you, and we all pray for you.

Unfortunately, Catholics are just as prone as everyone else to meanspiritedness, shallow and poor behavior towards our own kind. I don't know all the particulars of your recent experiences, sorry, but I can imagine.... If I had a dollar for every time I encountered these people in different parishes over my life, I could retire now very comfortably.
I have had to learn to love the Church for the good and the beauty that does exist, rather than walk away from it because of the many sins and failures of its members. My experience with other Christian churches (my husband is Presbyterian) is that they all have their share of difficult people too; in other words, sinners are everywhere, and some of the most offensive will be right there next to you no matter if the pew is Catholic, Anglican, Methodist,or New Age tree-hugger in the woods, etc., you get my point.
If you can learn to practice forgiveness in the spirit of "Forgive them, they know not what they do", you may still be able to love the Church for what it struggles to become, and not what it sadly is at times.
God bless you, and we all pray for you.

What I am about to say is very difficult and please don't think its not.
Also before posting this I have let one of the mods know this already.

I have the greatest respect for the church and her members and remain supportive to all here and will hold all of you in my prayers and continue to come here if I may.

I have made a choice and I am not Catholic anymore....

I need to be open about this so I am posting here.

Belinda

My prayers are with you to feel God's love and to know that He cares about your pain.
Annie

God Bless Belinda!
J

God Bless you Belinda...............you have my prayers . LOL

I am sad that you have made this decision, but, I respect it. Maybe one day your heart will be healed and you will come home. I pray that it will.

Praying for you. Even though I don't know you, I think this is said news. I hope you some day will come back

I will keep you in my prayers. Our merciful Lord wills that none may be lost but that all may be saved. Be thankful at the very least that we have an eternal, omnipotent God who is not bound by the difficulties we encounter or by our own or the iniquities of others around us. He is the ONLY ONE who can BRING GOOD out of EVIL. No one else not even those whom we love the most. In His will, I believe that for you He will most certainly bring you to the end for which He created you. Just remember, He created you and died for you and will never abandon you even if it feels otherwise.
Also, THIS IS A BATTLE. The devil is not at all pleased with your orientation towards the Lord. This is true for all of us. The devil wills for us all to be lost and to be under his dominion. So when you turn towards the Lord- as you did by submitting yourself to the tue church and as you are struggling to do even now- the devil will do all he can to derail and make you feel like a fool. He will even use your very nature and tendencies against you- your relationships, job, even the very people in the church for indeed none of us is immune to his influence. All this is to get you to turn back around and say like he did I DO NOT BELIEVE, I WILL NOT SERVE. He will do anything to convince you that this is the only realistic option to take. And so in this time when you are in so much turmoil I would say, pray to your guardian angel and to St. Michael for indeed God has not abandoned you and will hear the supplications given for you. 'For he hath given his angels charge over thee; to keep thee in all thy ways. In their hands they shall bear thee up: lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.' (Ps 90: 11-12)
One more thing (and I don't mean to be inappropriate), just remember that God is Love and God is truth; and the Catholic Church is His Church. Not that this is particularly appealing to you at the moment. But this is not for now, this is for that day (which I do believe and Hope in God will come) after the winds and the storms swirling around you have ceased and when our Lord reaches out to pull you as he did with St. Peter from the water, that you will remember this then. Where He wills you to find Him is in His Church.

God loves you Belinda.

Anne

Pax et Bonum

I second Staretz. I pray for you now with great love touched with sadness. I hope that one day I will pray for you again with great love touched with joy at your return home. God bless you for the journey.

Look I'm sorry if this comes out the wrong way....but just because I am not an active Catholic anymore does not mean that I don't believe and I am not serving....

I dearly love my Father in Heaven and Jesus and the Holy Spirit and Mother Mary and my patrons Sts Michael and Benedict....nothing has changed there....

But what has changed is I have allowed myself to come to terms with some problems in my spiritual life and right now I need to be in the church I am in now.

They are the ones who held my hand and sent cyber hugs; Rev C spent many of his nights on AIM speaking to me WAY past his bedtime, midnight and beyond and he provided much needed help, life saving help!!!!

To be quite blunt if it was not for him and Rev T who is the churches leader I would not be alive right now (and yes the situation was THAT serious and my life was in danger) and to be blunt they are 5000 miles away in the USA from me in Australia...., my parish is 5 minutes away by car.....what does that tell you

And yes I am still very touchy.....I have much healing yet to go through, but I would ask that you don't judge me right now......you really have no idea of the pure hell I have been through.......

It tells me that the people in your parish are neither kind-hearted nor generous and it makes me really wish that you were a member of my church. But it doesn't say anything about the truth of Catholicism. Belinda, friend, there are lots of loving and generous Christians who aren't Catholics - but can even a comforting hug and the warmth and support of a late-night AIM conversation replace the treasure that is there 'for you and you alone' (St Therese of Lisieux) in the Tabernacle?

I'm glad that you have these friends from another church. You need the support right now. I can well believe that you came close to death; I am heavily involved with a support group for adolescents with mental health problems and have seen some bad situations before. Last night I was up until two a.m. with a rosary in my hand as I tried to keep a badly frightened friend on MSN and away from her tablets. I am not saying that you are mentally ill, just that I know a little of how you feel from my own experiences. Only a little, mind. Hell is unique for everyone.



Good. Keep in regular contact with your friends in Heaven.

Belinda, whoever equated that with what you are doing is a jerk, and I will happily say that to his/her face. I am not going to judge you. I wish someone from your parish would have been able to help you. From what you have said in other posts, your burden is indeed great. I do not denigrate or deny that. I have not been through that. I am glad that they at least were there for you. I praise and thank God for that. I will still pray for your healing and your return.

Staretz says it for me too, Belinda.

Me too. Praying for you as you continue your journey.

In His Light,
my deepest apologies for any offense I have caused you and if my comments were like salt to an open wound. I did not intend them that way. I was not even saying that that is what you did ( I do not know your soul or even the situation other than what's on PM), I was just saying that that is what the enemy intends to be our path- he'll throw everything including the proverbial 'kitchen sink' at us to get us there.
I did not mean to seem insensitive to your pain and great suffering. I do not judge you. I apologise for making you feel like I was painting you into a corner. I do keep you in my deepest prayers. I am glad that there are people who have been a source of solace for you. Thanks be to God. I will continue to pray for you as well.
May our Lady, comforter of the afflicted draw you into her heart.

In Christ,

Anne