Are you supposed to pay him? I know spiritual directors who aren't religious/priest are usually paid and the sisters who I know who do spiritual direction are also paid. Would this apply to a priest as well?

Sorry if this is naive.

Blessings,
J

It all depends on the spiritual director. My director is a priest and he flat out refused to take anything. He says for me to pray for him as he prays for me.

sr_betsy

Hmm...I've actually never heard of paying a spiritual director before...priests or non-priests.

Me neither... I'm actually feeling quite guilty now and I'm wondering whether I should pay mine?

I already planned on giving him a good cigar, since he loves those.

My spiritual director is my priest and I"ve never payed, except in prayers but I guess it would depend on the spiritual director.

I have never heard of paying a spiritual director, whether it's a priest or not. It seems that would be bad idea, because you are exchanging something monetary for something spiritual. It's not like paying for counseling sessions or a psychiatrist. Maybe there are people who pay theirs, but it seems prayers are probably the most worthy exchange

Of course, people do pay stipends for having Masses offered, but I think that's a little different. If he's a parish priest you can contribute to the collection. If he's an Order priest you could make donations to the Order. But I don't know that it's appropriate to pay the priest himself.

I could be wrong... maybe we could ask Cappie or Father Brian what they think

I have never heard of such a thing. If that is the case, then I owe a lot of priest A LOT of moeny. Can I ask, did someone suggest this or was this something you thought might be a good idea?

If you ever want to give anything to a priest, give him prayers. It is part of what he has been ordained to do, and you really should not feel obligated to have to pay him.

That would be my approach on the whole thing, but, at the same time, I have never had a directee, so I would like to see what cappie thinks as well.

God Bless

Fr. Brian

Okay, saying I "know" was a little misleading. My apologies. It was something that I had heard, second hand through someone. It might have just been an idea of theirs.

Sorry for the confusion, it's been one of those weeks...

Blessings,
J

I had mentioned at my last session, the idea of giving him a book he really liked. And HE said, that he learned from a priest director friend of his, that paying or giving gifts to a SD crossed the line somehow, and blurred the roles. He said that he would only accept gifts at Christmas and on his birthday. . .

But that's just what he said. . .others may feel differently.

God bless you.

Neither have I.


Whew. That makes me feel better.


Okay... now I'm REALLY relieved. I thought I was doing something wrong by not paying mine!!

I know that for the Charis Silent Retreats they have an optional donation for the spiritual directors that they put on the registration forms. So the idea wasn't totally new to me...

I paid a former sister once but, didn't think I was getting anywhere with her.

However my current one is a priest and I know he doesn't have alot of time most of the time I see him after mass.
I have on a few occations given him Stop&Shop cards to buy food with.

I love my SD and I pray for him always!


Jessica
http://www.xanga.com/ADiscerningSoul
http://blog.myspace.com/147329732

PS: you can always buy a nice card of thanks, those are always worth more then money can buy. Prayers are also "Priceless"

I bet they would also like people to pay for Masses to be said for them

But maybe more as a gift than as payment for the spiritual direction

For my old SD, who was a diocescan priest, my mother and I asked him about this, and he definitely wouldn't accept any pay. But what my mom decided to do is send a check to the "Cardinal's Appeal" (for Cardinal Francis George, whom we love), in thanksgiving for the spiritual direction.

But yeah, with all the directors I've had, I've never paid them in anyway - only prayers. My mom just wanted to ask last time. But what Lauren said, about having Masses offered for them is a great idea!

God pays them with treasure in heaven.

Yes, I don't pay mine, but I often have masses offered for him in honor of his feast day, his ordination anniversary, etc.

Mine also has taken a vow of poverty so I try to see that his needs are met when he goes on a rock/mountain climbing expedition/retreat (ie I get him batteries, bug spray, caribiners) or if he is in need of something to simplify his life and allow him to focus more on spiritual issues. For example once I got him a thumb drive on which to back up his book he was writing when he traveled.

Otherwise I'll just be sure I make regular donations to the Community.

BUT, as others have pointed out, NONE of that is expected. It's just how I choose to do things.

priests (and nuns!) DO take the vows of castity,poverty , and obedience!

prayers, like everyone else has said, are probably the best!

Not ALL priests take vows of poverty and some, like diocesan priests, receive a salary (albeit a SMALL one). My SD is a member of a religious order so any $ he spends comes from the order and must be approved by the order. That's why I do what I do sometimes.

Ultimately yes, prayers are the best.

Because my school runs a certification in Spiritual Direction program, there are a fair number of spiritual directors in my area. Those who are still taking courses are not allowed to take money as part of their spiritual direction (it has to be a "guided direction" with the help of the director of the program).

As a college student, I never paid my SD. Nor did the thought (like so many others have said) EVER cross my mind!!! The SD I have now is a diocesan priest. And I told him that as a grad student, I was unable to pay him a stipend on a regular basis. And that was fine with him. However, there are some truly excellent, spirit-filled, SDs out there who rely on this as a more direct source of income. For someone who has an official degree (some sort of external recognition of their knowledge/expertise), I can understand their asking for a contribution (of some sort) OR not asking for anything.

Bottom line: I've heard of it, and no, it's not required by any means.

Hope that's helpful.

Excellent point, yes, many do do SD for a living! I'd imagine that if any sort of payment were expected that the SD would be clear about that up front. But if you have any doubts, just ask

I PM'ed Cappie:

People do eat you know and that usually costs

When I looked into a spiritual director years ago I came across a good few who (because they had specific degrees) charged various fees and some were not small. So, it's definitely a practice in the U.S. as well.

Interesting... this came up in a conversation just last night. One girl said she looked into getting a spiritual director, but it cost about $400 (guess that's an annual fee?). Another guy wanted one for priesthood discernment (same reason I have a SD), but was frustrated about not being able to get a recommendation from the list of archdiocese approved SDs. All I know is I got the list, didn't know any of them, so I called one who pastors in the same end of town as my own parish.

My only guess is spiritual direction is on the archdiocese tab for people in discernment for religious life, but others have to pay and that contributes towards the SD's salary.

And I think the other guy grew up Catholic, so he sees red tape in the few places where it doesn't exist. I got a phone number, called it, scheduled an appointment... done deal. Not sure what to tell him.


As for the average person seeking spiritual direction, I think you could find any spiritually mature Catholic (or another Christian, for certain cases) could also be very helpful. If nothing else, get together once a week with one or two other committed Christians so you have a regular opportunity to be intentional about sharing your prayer life with others.