Hey guys...

So the Dominican Nuns of Summit (Hi Sr. Mary Catharine! ) voted favorably for my aspirancy this summer, which will most likely be around July 21-August 11. Awesome news!
The bad news is I feel like college is devouring my soul....well maybe not devouring it, but perhaps strangling it. I'm in my second year (Biology and Religion double major) and I'm finding it extremely difficult to DO my work and study. I'm taking a human anatomy and physiology class which brings me practically to tears when I have to go to it. It consists of having to memorize the names of different nerves and muscle layers and types of epithelia, etc. I just cannot see how it can or will positively impact my life. Yes, it is amazing to see the organization, creativity, and intelligence that went into the creation of man but I find it very difficult to sit down and read 2 hours a night about muscles when I could be reading something more beneficial to my spiritual life.

I just feel so strongly within my soul the desire for this desert (as St. Therese called it) that all this needless other stuff almost brings me to tears. Besides all of that, I have 23,000 dollars in debt so far from two years in college which needs to be eliminated before I can enter religious life. If I continue college I'll end up with around 60,000 dollars in debt. That is...well it is way more money than my parents bought our house for in the 1980s! The lockport Dominicans advised me awhile ago that if I was seriously about a religious vocation that I should quit school and start working to pay off the loans instead. My parents, however, have stressed that I MUST get a college degree.

My fear is that in a year I'll end up without a vocation (gobbled up by college), with huge debt, without a degree, and without the support of my parents.
Granted, through all of this I know that God has a plan and if I would just relax and try to listen that everything would work out. I'm just confused as to whether leaving school may be in that plan even when everyone in my life is telling me that that is a stupid thing to do.

Advice??

First of all: Congratulations on your Aspirancy!!!!!!!!
This is not exactly advice as I don't feel that someone who doesn't really know you can or should give advice in this situation.
However, it's a principle of discernment not to act when experiencing the type of stuff ( fear etc) you are. Perhaps your aspirancy will make things clearer for you. Certainly you will receive assistance sorting through your feelings and priorities. I gather you are finishing out the Spring term now. Why not wait for any further decisonmaking until after August? Signing up for the Fall term doesn't make it absolute you'll attend.

Anyways it's my opinion (and only an opinion) that working with those who are helping you discern is the best way to choose the "next steps" whether it be college or a job to pay off debts. And prayer of course. Lot's of prayer. You are in mine.

I have no comment about the "stupid stuff." I have enough faults against charity for my next reconcilliation.

Trying to carry a double major and discern religious life is more than enough stress on anyone's plate, and with two of my own kids carrying major college debts, I understand how that would put a quick entrance to religious life out of reach. From my perspective as a mother, I would want you to complete your education first, when viewing your potential postulancy as "simply" the next part of discernment--there is the possibility that you might leave during postulancy or novitiate. Your parents are taking the practical view of things,(we parents tend to do that,y'know), even if your intent is to stay forever in the monastery.

Perhaps you could reduce your stress by narrowing down to just one major area of study. Hard as it is, I would just try to focus on one thing at a time, get through this semester, make your aspirancy, and try not to project too much into the future. Start to gather information about assistance with debt (like the Laboure Society), so you will be more prepared to deal with your debts.

I believe that debt does delay vocations, but doesn't kill them. Stay in touch with the communities that attract you as you finish school, practice the virtue of hope, and I promise to keep you in prayer.
God bless!

Congrats on your aspirancy!! That's amazing.

I can totally understand your situation, being in law school and discerning myself. My advice is to continue visiting/talking to communities. When you have a strong idea which community God may be calling you to, then I'd definately follow the advice of the vocations director of the community. Until then, if you have a spiritual director, speak to him/her about your stressors.

If you maintain a strong prayer life and a commitment to your vocational discernment, school won't "eat up" your vocation. It can't unless you let it. The key is balance. When you're in class or doing homework, focus solely on doing that and not what else you could be doing. There is great grace to be merited in doing the work you don't enjoy. Glorify God by doing your work as well as you can. Then the time that you set aside for prayer, don't worry about your school work and focus everything on Jesus.

Whether or not you should quit school is probably something better to discuss with a spiritual director as it deals with so many factors such as what options you have if you do quit school, where you are in your discernment, etc.

This is a very delicate issue and definitely needs the guidance of your spiritual leaders. I personally would say that I see nothing shameful in dropping college to follow Our Lord more immediately than may have originally been planned. There are many reasons to favor this, but in the end you will have to make the decision. Be assured of our best wishes and prayers for you! "Pray, hope and don't worry." Really, don't worry. Our Lord knows the plans He has for you plans for your welfare, and not for your woe...

Congrats on the aspirancy!

I don't remember who said this -- but it was precisely what I thought. I'd wait until August to make any decision. I think the aspirancy will help define what's next. And I think that continued discernment with a good spiritual director will be key -- if you are to leave school the Lord will make that abundantly clear, as well as if you are to stay. But that's a decision that really needs to be made with the help and guidance of a director.

And remember, Jesus' timing is perfect -- so trust in Him.

I agree with StL mom.


You might consider dropping one of your majors, perhaps the biology, and concentrate on subjects that you could use in religious life or teach (besides biology), such as psychology, accounting, computer science-useful in or out of religious life, in or out of the cloister or in active orders.

Any chance of transferring to a cheaper school, state university, branch of a state university or community college? Or save costs by living at home?

i agree you should discuss this with your spiritual adviser and your parents.