Hey guys.

I've been reading this forum and I've really felt in my heart that desire to give my life to the Lord.
Of course, I was discerning before, but not really... just kind of like "whatever."

I've never once in my life had any desire to be married. I only felt the call the the consecrated life about a year and a half ago, after I came back to the Church.

I am only 17 now, and probably going to Franciscan University in the spring (pray for me!). My question is, is it too early for me to start seriously discerning? I've been looking at communities that interest me, but dont really know where to begin as far as serious discernment.

Any advice?

Try and visit some communities that interest you. That will really help you to get your discernment going. Every aspect of a visit is beneficial, from being able to talk to and witness the sisters, to having time for prayer with Our Lord, and discerning whether you feel the active life really grabs your attention, or you feel drawn to something more contemplative.

We can provide a lot of suggestions for places to visit if you feel this is something you'd want to do. I have noticed that some people are afraid to make the step of visiting, but trust me, there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

God bless!

Is it too early to visit? I mean, visiting seems like such a commitment... I know it isn't, but it still seems a bit of a big step. Also, it seems like a lot to be visiting every community that I'm interested in.

Hullo,

I think 17 is a wonderful age to start discerning, as is any other age!
I don't have much advice to give (Im not a particularly good advisor)... Here's a little passage that guides me a lot in my own discernment:

11 And he said to him: Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord: and behold the Lord passeth, and a great and strong wind before the Lord over throwing the mountains, and breaking the rocks in pieces: the Lord is not in the wind, and after the wind an earthquake: the Lord is not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake a fire: the Lord is not in the fire, and after the fire a whistling of a gentle air. 13 And when Elias heard it, he covered his face with his mantle, and coming forth stood in the entering in of the cave, and behold a voice unto him, saying: What dost thou here, Elias?

It's from the 1st book of Kings.
God often seems to be a rather soft-spoken kind of guy. Unfortunately that means we often can't hear Him telling us what to do because of all the noise. So it's nice to have a little bit of silence, so we can pay attention to the gentle wind, and not get distracted by earthquakes and fires.


God bless, and Happy Feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary!

Gabriel

Opps! Just saw your other post!

Well, if you feel it's too early to visit, or it's too much of a committment, perhaps you could do a little research into charisms you might be interested in. You could read the literature of the saints belonging to a particular order, that sort of thing. Find out about the saints and blesseds belonging to a particular charism, since their lives express best the charism of the order. Of course, this doesn't help if it's a particularly new order without relations to any established charism. Which is why I say I'm not a particularly good advisor.
This is basically what I did (and am still doing). I do enjoy reading very much though, so my advice is biased!

God bless,
Gabriel

I think you should follow gabrielp's and Totus Tuus' advice.

Visiting is a good idea. You can learn a lot from communities even if you're not called to join one.

Visiting is such a good idea, even at your age. It will help, and it is not a commitment to look into an order. It's not like dating where, you choose someone and make a commitment. When you visit an order you aren't making a commitment to them, not unless you feel called and eventually make that decision. As of now, you should try to be as patient as possible with God and those around you, pray hard, receive the sacraments and trust. I will remember you in my prayers, God Bless you!!

Hey, if you go on a retreat that the community offers you are usually in a larger group of women then if you went on a private visit.. usually the retreats are more relaxed and less pressured feeling. Just tell the community that you are trying to be open to whatever God wants, but not sure that means religious life for you.

Try doing some volunteer work and figure out what kind of work you love doing the most (I love kids.. and working with the poor, so I am going to be joining the Salesians).. once you know what you like to do, then you can narrow the communities down to reflect that... which helps a lot because there are MANY communities out there.

Also, if you do end up going on a retreat and really like the community, then you can see about going for a private visit, which will give you a chance to see them in their day to day lives in a more intimate way.

17 is not too young; it is a great time to start discerning God's will in your life. College is a time to really discover who you are and to try out different things without having to be too committed to it (most college students do not leave with the degree they started out liking!) So be bold. have fun, and consider it a great adventure... besides I think you are going to Stubie? They have a LOT of religious communities around there and ones that visit....

No, 17 is not too early. It is a good time, as you will be considering a career as well. If you decide you are called to a contemplative charism, you can focus on theology. A solid theological grounding will enrich the life of a contemplative community. If you decide you are called to an active charism, maybe you can get the necessary academic training through FUS. 17 is a fine age for discernment

/Benedictine_Plug = on

have you heard of Our Lady of the Desert?

/Benedictine_Plug = off

You will be learning and growing so much over the next few years. 17 is not too early to start developing a wonderful relationship with the Lord. Begin to develop your prayer life. Enjoy making new friends at school, and learn all you can. Read all you can about the different charisms of communities. Take small steps in visiting orders. You do have time to explore religious life. Christ is with you now, learn about Him first and the rest will follow.

I am very involved in an active community that is cloistered, and very centered on the Eucharist. I love working with the homeless and youth. At Steubie, I hope to major in Social Work as well as Theology with a Youth Ministry concentration. Also, I think if i wanted to visit a community, my parents wouldnt be too thrilled :-/

Well, there are a lot of communities that visit you at Stubie, so that will give you a chance to meet different religious. I will probably be there once or twice during the next year, visiting with Sr Colleen.

I started discerning when I was 12--and I wasn't even Catholic! When I became Catholic at age 16, Sr. Mary Gemma, who is now Sister Superior at Mount Grace in St. Louis, said I wasn't too young to start looking, and I started writing to her before I entered the Church.

After I found McCarthy's "Guide to Catholic Sisterhoods," I got more serious about my relationship with Jesus.

Convents used to have Aspirancy Schools, which accepted girls as young as junior high. Before the nuns tossed the habit, I asked two Sisters of Charity of Nazareth when I could join them, and they said when I was old enough to enter aspirancy school. Being a Baptist at the time, none of what they said made any sense. (The SCNs' motherhouse was outside of town).

Blessings,
Gemma

I was thirteen when I started flying across the country by myself to visit communities. I guess the age depends on the person, but I've honestly never visited a community that looked as a visit as any type of commitment.

i dont think its too early to visit, many communities in the USA dont normally accept women vocations before 21, and a couple 25!..so you have time, taking it gently, writing, asking lots of questions, and visiting...just a thoght though, since you plan to go to Steubenville, quite a few people in this forum have been stuck with debts,i have 2 friends who have massive university debts, postponing there strong monastic a calls for years because of it,,,so be wise, and prudent...anyways, God does have alot of money......since all my own College debts were paid off,suddenly, before i entered by a women i didnt even know really!
pax!

I'll be there too with Sr. Lois and the novitiate! Look out for us! (Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration)... it's great to meet more of the pham!

Debts are a major concern for me. Steubenville is definitly expensive compared to my state school (UMD) and I'm going to be needing major loans to afford it. However, I totally know that God's got it all under control.

Communities that I'm interested in:

Sisters of Life
Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal
Congregation of Charity of the Miraculous Medal (proposed order in formation)
Franciscan Daughters of Mary
Apostles of the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist
Sisters of Our Lady of the Garden
Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matara
Sisters in Jesus the Lord
Daughters of Mary, Mother of Healing Love
Servant Sisters of the Home of the Mother


I know that these are a LOT of communities to be looking at... once again, I've just started gathering information/seriously discerning. Many of these communities have very different charisms and apostolates.

Sounds like you are doing fine at the moment. Gathering information is a good thing to be doing. gives you something solid to look at.

I understand what you mean about your parents not being too thrilled.... I know that if I asked to visit a convent, my father would be like, "What!?!? You're gonna be a nun??" Right now, I don't see that as being very helpful for discernment... perhaps, though, it will be easier for you to visit when you are at college and more on your own. However, in the mean time, Eucharistic Adoration is extremely helpful. You can just go and "chill" with Jesus. Then you might be readier when you are able to visit some communities.

God Bless!

I completely understand what you mean about parents. Mine don't know I've been visiting communities I just tell them I'm doing "service", which is usually true anyway, since most Sisters will put you to work when you visit them. Some of the orders you mentioned below are close enough that you could go for the day to "work" and pray with them. See if you can get a friend to go as well. That takes the edge/ pressure off of you. Sisters know where you are, they understand you're just trying to get a feel for the life, since they have ALL been in your position before, wondering if the Lord was calling them to a community.



Sounds a lot like my list when I was first beginning (a fair number are still around). While they are quite a varied list, they do have a lot of things in common: a habit, a structured prayer life, a strong community life, and an active apostalate. You know somewhat what you are looking for and that is good. I know the Servants of the Lord are close to you, as I believe some of the Apostles are as well.


On another note, something to consider when you are looking at schools is to find a school which would be accessible to visit orders. Check out scholarships at other schools, as well. FUS is a good school, but so many people walk out with MOUNDS of debt. There are other schools out there, where you can recieve good (albeit different) formation. Find a school with a Catholic community, frequent Mass, and a good spiritual director, and you can make it anywhere.
You could be really surprised what you'd find at other Universities. I wouldn't trade the formation I've recieved at my school for anything, not even FUS.

Good luck to you! Prayers!

In Jesus and Mary,
Lauren

I feel like I'm decieving my parents if i were to visit a community without telling them. i might just have to wait until i get to college. And i know, FUS will lead me to huge amounts of debt. This is another concern of mine. I just feel such a desire to go there, and I pray that the Lord will give me the money. However, if it comes down to it, I know there are other secular schools where i can get a good education and find other catholics.

Do you know which communities you are leaning towards?

Yes... I understand the deceiving, but in my case, prudence outways the guilt. Their knowledge and the subsequent unapprovable would make discernment extremely difficult, if not impossible for me.

Let's see, communities... I've visited with the Sisters of Life and loved them, and I am spending a month this summer with the Servants of the Lord in Argentina. I also really love the CFR sisters, but I'm pretty certain I am not called there.

Depending on your grades and test scores, you could also get really good scholarships to some Catholic schools. Something to look into.