My topic was inspired by "Leaving the religious life" topic. I've been wondering for so long...

In a discernment process or even before that, an individual has to go through so many steps (of course, storm of prayers too) in order to be accepted by congregation/community. After spending some times in a particular community, both (an individual & a community) parties are still seeking for God's will...

1) One, two, three, or more years have passed. An individual feels that it's not the call and asks the authority for permission to leave the community (I guess it's how it goes...). Community is sad but it's respect one's choice, and let go of an individual...

2) One, two, three, or more years have passed. By grace the authority of the community sees it and does everything to help an individual to see that God has a different call for his/her life. By more grace and in prayers, an individual realizes it and everyone is at peace.

3) One, two, three, or more years have passed. An individual unexpectedly is asked to leave the community. An individual has no help whether $$$ or spiritual and no other choice except "take it as God's will for you and be assured our prayers with you" from authority.

I would imagine transition for an individual return to life for #1 & 2 would be hard but it's not as bad as #3. Can you imagine not knowing that your vocation is in danger? Just a call, a talk, or a letter...your vocation in a particular community is gone. What would happen to you emotional, physical, and spiritual? So, is there such a process within a religious community to make sure (I'm not looking for 100%) that an individual is stable to go back to the real world.

Most communities make sure that a person has some $ or someone within whom they can live, etc. before they leave. At least "healthy"communties do that. This is also the reason why a community asks for a "dowry" which is money for the person to fall back on.

Sometimes when a person is asked to leave the novitiate it is totally unexpected but that is just one more indication that the person isn't seeing that the vocation is not for her/him. It's not that usual. After the person calms down after the news, or even maybe a while later, they see why they were asked to leave.
No doubt about it, it's all very painful and trust me, a community doesn't do this without much prayer, consultation and thought. The community finds it painful, too!

In the end, God's grace brings one through it and this experience can be the source of much grace and the discerment of one's true vocation.

Thank you so much for your response. How do you determine "healthy" communities? In general, they all look "healthy"...

Is there such thing as warnings in religious formation? Whatever happens, (I guess it's not so much on the community) it's a group of leadership, isn't it? Man power & human ego are over rule on lots of things...

At the end, God always have to clean up the mess (poor him)...with the Lord's help an individual will be more genuine and giving even though he/she has been badly injured by unexpected decision. I imagine it would take long long long time to recovery road.

Blessings to you.