I know that most of us have envisioned ourselves in particular communities like the SMME's, PCPA's, Nashville Dominicans...etc so Iam just wondering how do we know if our desires to join a certain group is from God or ourselves. I personally have had dreams of becoming a carmelite or Poor Clare but Iam not sure if I am trying to will it into exisitance. Also I know that some individuals have spoken about a "peace" that one gets when they know its Gods will...But I know that sometimes God doesn't grant that peace. Just wondering what your thoughts where on this.

I really think the key is to spend time with a possible community. You really cant tell a thing from looking at a website or corresponding. You need to be actually living the life side by side with the sisters.
The Lord inspires, but we have to figure out what He is trying to say. There is such a wide difference between the spirit of the Poor Clares vs the Carmelites. The only way you will know is to visit the various monasteries. Thankfully most offer an aspirancy where you get to live in for several weeks.
And there is a certain peace when you find your place. Its like everything just falls into place. You cant really will yourself to have a vocation. Most vocation directors can weed out that kind of thing. No one in their right mind would chose to live this radical lifestyle without the presence of Jesus in the decision. It is a life of service, and if the person is not weeded out before, then they would never survive the rigors of the postulancy.
I guess what I am trying to say is visit, spend quality time with various communities and ask the Lord to do with you what He will.

alicemary is right...the key is to spend time with a community. Visit the sisters, spend a week-end, participate in one of their ministries (if possible).

sr betsy

I know to spend time but its really hard figuring out which community....There are so many monasteries not only here but around the globe.

Only time will tell if the decision was right for you after you enter. But I think most agree that the Order you end up joining is the one where you felt "at home".

Unfortunately, I couldn't follow the very good advice given here, to spend time with the community I wanted, so I discerned via email.

What I did notice from reading over my old emails to family however, was that while I was still in the "seek and ye shall find" stage of discernment, and writing to every community that appealed to me, I kept returning to a "strong feeling" that Carmel was my home. I had wonderful responsess from a Benedictine community, and a Poor Clare community, but in a letter to my sister-in-law, I wrote: "You will think me crazy, but even though the Poor Clare convent sounds so perfect for me, I still feel called to the Carmelites. I have always loved St Teresa of Avila, and she feels like my spiritual mother."

I would read a lot about the different charisms, and the founders of each order, and see if any of the saints or their orders seem more attractive to you than others. Then, of course, if you can, do visit some communities to actually feel their spirit.

God bless you in your discernment.

A friend and I where talking about this yesterday ( in response to Anne's post) When seeking out various communities what factors help you determine if your interested? Just looking at the colors of the habit, if it is modified or non existant? The communites work? What about the Charisms, do you consider an order that charisms are similar to where you are in your walk with Christ now? Like the Francisicans- Nature and poverty, Benedictines-hospitality, Dominicans-through theology, Carmelites through penance and solitude. I was just wondering..

A. Thanks!

Marieteresa,

I think you look at your own personality, talents, interests, and heart's desires to narrow down communities. Not to say that you go looking for the perfect match, but you have to at least narrow it down based on you. And I'm not really for matching up Orders with a particular charism as a major way to rule them out or decide to look into them, like saying that Benedictines being hospitable and Franciscans liking Nature. To me, that's detrimental to discernment. No Order would be whole if they were totally focused on one little thing. You have to experience the spirit of the Order and the spirit of the individual communities to find the one that's right for you. I have lived in a Franciscan community where some sisters barely even went outside (not very good nature-lovers) - but they were thoroughly Franciscan in their spirit! And I know Dominicans who are much more hospitable than the Benedictines I know. Yes, each Order has attributes shared by all of its members, but in my experience (and this could just be my personality), I have to experience it and share in it to know if it's for me or not.

Prayers!

Oh so very true!!!