I thought that I wouldn't be online again but since I brought my laptop to give to the community, I just had to post about today's visit to Carmel. I went to 9am Mass at the Mercy Convent across the road from Wolverhampton Carmelite Monastery, and then went to see the Mother Prioress afterwards to discuss my entrance to Carmel. I ended up spending most of the day meeting the nuns and chatting with Mother, and even had dinner and supper there. We decided that since Vespers on Sunday night is the first celebration of the feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, that I should enter on Sunday afternoon and participate in Vespers with them as well instead of on Monday as originally planned. So I enter now at 3pm on Sunday. Mother said that I will be called Sister Teresa of Jesus upon entrance, as that is their custom, so I get my religious name right away! She has appointed an "angel" to me to help me get settled into their life, and I met her today - such a sweet nun.

I had such a wonderful time today with the nuns, and they were all so full of joy and good humor, and we did lots of laughing about everything. When I arrived, I told Mother that I was scared, so she spent so much time encouraging me, and asking all the nuns to help me feel at home. Of course we had to do everything through the grille, but they all made me feel as if I belonged there, and all of my fears just went away.

I just want to say to anyone who is discerning religious life, not to be afraid to really see if it is for you. Of course, I won't know until I actually live the life if I can persevere or not, but I have learned so much already just through discernment, and through trying to follow my heart. And then today I learned that holiness can also be happiness!

So I am in the motel one more night after tonight, and will have access to this laptop until I hand it over on Sunday afternoon now, so if anyone has any questions about Wolverhampton that I can answer please let me know. I am one happy little camper right now and would love to be able to share some of that joy with others.

Oh my goodness!!! Good luck and God bless you! I'll pray for your entrance day.

sr betsy

How wonderful for you!

I do have a question. Why is the custom like - that. Haha, actually I would love to learn as much about the mystery of the Carmelites as possibily.

You know, many enclosed orders have active websites with frequent "What's New" updates, newsletters and the occasional blog. It appears to be very good for vocations. Mebbe you could start something at Wolverhampton!

God bless you, Annie! Your soon-to-be sisters sound so welcoming and nice, and I'm sure that you'll do great in Carmel. I'm really going to miss the bits of wisdom contained in your posts, as well as your perspective on Carmel and religious life in general.

I'm praying for you!!

~Margaret

I'll be praying for you too!

Let's see if I can think of a question of sorts before you can't answer anymore.... hmm...

Okay... How about this one... Did you ever have fears and doubts that this was the place to enter but still KNOW it was the place? And how did you get over it if so? :D

God Bless Sister Teresa of Jesus! (even if I'm saying this to you a tad early!)

Wow - good question! I think that fears and doubts are a part of every decision, and the more important the decision in our life, the bigger the fears and doubts. No matter how sure we might be that we are making the right decision, there is probably always going to be something in the back of our minds that says "What if I'm wrong?" I guess that's where faith and trust come into play. Once the decision is made, it is pretty self-defeating to continually doubt it, even if the fears are natural.

When I first got to England, I was very scared about my decision, and even told the Mother Prioress how scared I was. She not only tried to reassure me but she also told each sister who came to meet me that I was having fears and that they should all work very hard to make me feel at ease. I really appreciated that kindness. I have come to the conclusion that holiness is just an expression of God's love. That being so, there are many lovely and holy people in the world, especially among the religious and priests who seem to make an extra special effort to reflect God's love for us all.

As for being the "right" place? Well, I guess we will know that if where we end up helps us to continue to grow in love and the virtues - since that is what God wants for each of us anyway, isn't it? One of the nuns at Wolverhampton told me that she entered at 19 with the intention of becoming the next St Therese of Liseux. She laughs about it now and says "Well, after 20 years, that didn't happen, did it?" But the thing is that she can't see just how holy she really is. Her love and laughter and ability to make others feel good is obviously a gift from God, and in my eyes she is very holy! Whether or not she is a saint is for God to decide but I certainly don't think that He would be displeased with her efforts.

Even now, with my entrance only 24 hours away, I worry. But mostly I worry that I won't be good enough or that I won't please God enough. but then I tell myself that if I were already perfect, then I wouldn't need to be on earth anyway - I could go straight to heaven! So I am going to just make my little efforts and trust that God will make up for anything that I lack.

It's kind of comforting to know, as St Teresa said, that I will get tired of sinning long before God gets tired of forgiving me!

Your suggestion isn't a bad one. Mother Prioress is a very practical woman and I don't doubt that she will learn the value of the Internet with regard to vocations. Already she asked my help in getting her a data link cable for her cell phone to connect to her PC because she didn't know what she needed. she seems to see how technology can be used without being enthralled by it. Since my background is computers, I might be able to help out once I have finished formation. I don't want to enter the convent and end up being a computer person who happens to be a nun. I want to be a nun who happens to help out with the computers.

I don't really know the answer to that question. Carmelite communities are autonomous and independent, so what one community does might be different than what another one does. For example, Wolverhampton doesn't have the entrance ceremony that the Terre Haute Carmel has, but they do start using the religious name immediately upon entrance. Mother told me that some communities will refer to each other by their name but not preface it with "Sister", so they might say something like "Teresa, will you help me with this, please?" But at Wolverhampton, Mother would insist that we say "Sister Teresa, will you help me with this, please?"

One of the nuns told me that she has been in three Carmels. Wolverhampton is her monastery, but she has been to Wales for one year, and has been going to Preston on and off to help them out, and will be going back there for a few months soon. She said that Wolverhampton is one of the strictest she has seen, but also one of the happiest. Actually, I could tell that they are very happy just being talking with them - the feeling is very strong.

Thank you Sister.

Thank you so much, Margaret!

I will keep you in my prayers as well!

So what is the entrance ceremony like?

At your Carmel, there is no chance of your turning into a computer person, also (incidentally) a nun!

And, if you are not apprehensive and nervous before taking such a step, then you don't realize the enormity of the step you are taking. You are nervous because, as a mature person, you do appreciate the enormity of that step. It's like getting married. If you're not nervous on your wedding day (forgetting the trappings) that you don't really realize what a step you're taking!

There is no ceremony. It was described to me as simply entering the enclosure and being greeted by all the sisters with warma and loving hugs and then being taken to the chapel to spend time with Our Lord. Afterwards, Mother said she would take me to my cell to give me a little time to get settled in before we have Vespers for the feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel at 5.30pm.

One of the nuns wrote this to me about their life...

"There is no entrance ceremony, postulants just come in quietly, and usually feel pretty much at sea for the first few days (it’s quite a culture shock, even for someone like me, who had been visiting the community for 13 years, and thought I knew all about it!). However, everyone is very helpful, kind and understanding, and a sister is allocated to help steer you round at the beginning. We usually find that what we are expecting to be really hard about this life isn’t so bad at all, and something we thought we could take in our stride can feel really difficult, so just be open for plenty of surprises, it is rare that one ever has to face oneself so much as we have to in Carmel, but it is in finding our true selves that we find God."

Oh wow, I thought the entrance ceremony was like the one in the St. Teresa of los Andes movie...The postulant enters the enclosure and kneels, while the sisters sing and hold candles. Anyway, i wonder if all the entrance ceremonies are the same at the various Carmels.....May Our Blessed Mother keep watch over you on your special day. God Bless you!

Well said! Today I was finishing up some last minute things and didn't go to the convent but Mother phoned me in the afternoon just to make sure that I was feeling all right! She asked "Are you ok?" and I answered yes, but she said "Are you sure? " and I just felt so much love and concern from her. I reassured her that yes, I am fine (despite silly little nervous worries from time to time) and that I am indeed looking forward to tomorrow afternoon. So she said that was fine then and let me go, but I certainly appreciate the fact that she must have seen her share of nervous entrants and can understand just how life changing this all is!

And you are so right - if I didn't feel any concerns at all, it would most likely mean that I didn't realize just how important this step is. Maybe my nervousness can encourage someone who is reading this to have a little more courage in their own discernment. When I get really scared, sometimes I just think about Jesus before His trials all began and I "borrow" some of His courage. Then my fears don't seem quite as bad as they did before.

It is possible to want something very much and yet still be afraid of the consequences - the marriage analogy is very appropriate I think. Getting married is such a huge commitment and yet people keep doing it because love is so powerful. I think that women who have babies also face terrible fears about the pain involved, and yet they still want to do it - even after they have had one already - lol! Some things are just worth doing - no matter what the sacrifices involved.

IMO, that sounds like the epitome of good sense, remembering that the postulancy is a time when the woman may leave at any point. The ceremonies seem best reserved for when vows are made, and the commitment is more defined.

Hey,

Not sure if this is too late. God bless you dear Annie, and congratulations! May the Mother of Mt.Carmel, and all her little saints watch over you. :-)

In advance,
Happy Feast of Our Lady of Mt.Carmel!
Gabriel

Best wishes Annie

Dear all. I am leaving in two hours, so am deleting all files now and just thought I would post a goodbye. I went to Mass this morning at a lovely old English church - very old and very ornate. I loved the Mass too - lots of ceremony. The best thing however, was that there was a side chapel to St Teresa of Avila! so I spent some time in prayer there, lit some candles for various people (yes, they still use good old fashioned wax candles!) and attended Mass. Afterwards I walked back to the hotel and on the way I said "goodbye" to the world . I realized that there just isn't anything out here for me any more, and that I am really looking forward to enclosure and obedience!

I had one last Diet Coke - and am now ready to have a shower (probably one of the last as well since they have a bath at the convent!) and get dressed. This has been the most amazing journey of my life, and it is only just beginning. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Thank you all for your good wishes and prayers as well. Phatmass is a wonderful place!

Gabriel - I loved Singapore and wish you well with the priesthood. Don't lose that vocation! Stay safe and when you are a priest, say a Mass for me! It will be my job now to pray for you and your vocation, so you can be sure I will.

Bye.

Best of luck to you on everything...

Congratulations & prayers to Annie - Sr. Teresa of Jesus! ... ...

In honor of Annie's entrance, as she loved this movie dearly, here are a few beautiful clips from Teresa de los Andes. Clip 5 is her entrance to Carmel.