hello friends,

It's been awhile since I have posted so I wanted to give a bit of an update. I wanted to let you know that I am actively discerning again and have been for about six months now or so. I set things aside for a bit after my return from Alton back in 2006 and have been working closely with my spiritual director and have been given the green light to visit places again back in October or so. I visited a community in January that I had been in touch with for a bit before. IT was a wonderful visit. My spiritual director thinks this is the community as do I and the vocation directress has urged me to apply and Father said yes fill out the application. MY application is about done and I will be returning for another visit the second weekend of April to meet with Mother. At this time I would prerfer not to mention the particular community. This is not out of fear of judgement but because I really rushed things last time and I want to be cautiious overall here and in general. I did want to at least let you all know and would appreciate your prayers. They will have a decesion for me by the end of May.
The big thing right now in my student loans $32,ooo but I have some cd's that will be maturing soon to help and I have a meeting with Cy Laurent of the Laboure Society in two weeks and will be applying to the Mater Ecclesiae Fund for Vocations as well. So talkign with Sister if accepted and if the Lord paves the way in regards to my student loans she would like me to enter this year if no go on the debts then I will work for a year. I already have a job lined up if needed. Please pray that the Lord's will be done.
Also some of you may remember that I am an only child and they were not happy one bit when I entered the Martyr's of St.George. Well over spring break ( holy week) I told them seperatly. MY dad was really okay with it which I was surprised and my mom well she left the room and cried. I think it's just going to take her longer. MY time with my family was very blessed and the Lord really was there. I had been praying novena after novena in preperation for my visit asking that the Lord would prepare my parents hearts for my vocation.

I think that's it for now. I will keep you posted. I'll let you know how the visit with the Sisters and with Mother goes and if I get accepted I'll let you know the community as well = ) Please keep me in your prayers and be assured of mine as well.


Tracy

Dear Tracy,

It's great to see you working with this so slowly and carefully. My prayers are with your family. To give you the advise I just received: your mother has to see you happy before she'll let go of her little girl! And because your discernment with the Martyrs led you back home, it's probably harder this time. But all will be well if God's will is done!

Dear Tracy,
God bless you in your continuing search to realize your vocation. In the end it will be worth all the effort you have placed in it. Our prayers are with you.

Tracy, many prayers for you and for your (God-willing) future community, and for your parents in their struggles.

Praise be to our Risen Lord! Alleluia!

Tracy,

You are a wonderful source of encouragement on Phatmass. Thank you for being so open and honest. I find it very helpful and encouraging for my own discernment to read your posts. Many prayers and blessings:)

Mel

Thank you for the prayers I really appreicate it. I had my physical today and that went well. A perfect bill of health, so that's good. It wasn't much fun because honestly I really don't like going to the doctor. Tomarrow I go in for the last of my dental work and will be thankful once that is all done, that jsut about broke the bank. I hadn't been to the dentist in liek three years because well I don't like the dentist very much either. I had five cavities and also ended up needing a root canal .I had the last bit of work done on the root canal on tuesday and tomarrow I go backto my dentist for the permenant filling and crown. All of that in the end costed over $2,000 out of pocket since I don't have dental being a poor college student, but I did buy a powerball ticket for saturday's drawing. I leave two weeks from tomarrow for my visit and I am really looking forward to it, it will be nice to be there during the Easter Season.

+

Prayers, Trace.

+J.M.J.+

Many prayers for you and your continual discernment!

I dropped my application in the mail today, which was exciting. 11 days until I head out for my visit.

Let's pray for each other.

Michaela

There'll be a votive candle with a prayer attached to it flickering away at my parish church for you--God bless!

thank you so much for you prayers! ! !

Hello Pham,

Well tomarrow I head out to visit the community I have applied to. Mother has received all of my material. The psyc eval went well and was kind of fun. We are suppose to get hit with some winter weather here in Minnesota so I'm hoping it won't mess with my flight too much. Please keep me in your prayers while I make my visit. I will be gone from Friday to Monday.
Also today I met with Cy Laurent, from the Laboure Society, for lunch. It was a wonderful meeting and I'm looking forward to working with him.

I will keep all of you in my prayers as well while I'm visiting the Sisters.



In Jesus and Mary,
Tracy

I will be praying for you.

prayers for you, I pray that this visit will be beneficial

Prayers for you and your family. I was also the only child. It may take a while, but once your parents see that you're happy, they will be too.

Okay Pham Here is my big and exciting news.

My visit was amazing and Mother is jsut a remarkable woman. Our meeting went very well. She said she had looked over all my stuff several times and she accepted me. My entrance date is set for July 16th this year pending my student loans. So please pray that this will work out. I actually think it will. I'm working with the Laboure Society and will apply with the Mater Ecclesiae Fund as well. So.... the community I will be entering is............. The Sister Servants of the Eternal Word. I'm very excited. Please keep me in your prayers during this time and I will keep updating as to what's goign on. If anyone would like to help financially please message me eitehr with helping with the loans or items I need to buy before entering. Any help would be much appreciated but mostly prayers. Gosh I'm so excited. I have a deep peace about this and a lot of joy. My friend picked me up from the airport and before tellign her naythign baout the visit she said, " Wow are you radiant!"

How Wonderful! I love the retreat ministry of these sisters - it is so sorely needed in our very stressed out world! I will keep you in my prayers along with the intentions of all the other PM'ers who are out there discerning, heading in or heading out! God bless!

And you're entering on the Feast of OL Mt. Carmel! She will surely pray for you!

Congratulations!

Praise God! You are in my prayers

I told my parents about the visit andthey are really upset. My mom got so upset when I told her she passed the phone to him and then I told him. I could hear my mom yealling and crying inthe background saying things like, "Why are you doing this to us? Why are you abandoneing us? We're never going to see you again?" I told my dad that they will still get to see me ( The sisters don't go home for visits, their family comes there) then my dad say, " yeah but we have to go to Alabama to see you." I didn't say anything to this because well I thought that was s dumb comment. My parents are retireed and have money so I guess I don't see what it's such a difficulty to go down to visit. SO they are really upset, which surpriseed me a bit because last time I talked to my dad he was supportive and now he's not. Maybe it's because now I;'m actually accepted adn the reality of it all has hit him. Please keep my parents in your prayers this is really hard for them since I am an only child and they are lapsed Catholic's so this dones't really make much sense to them. It's just going to take them awhile. I know it's still 3 months away but as of right now they said they will not take me down because they have too much going on in July, which is true. My friend Joe is going to drive me down and we're going to make it a road trip. Please pray for me in this because it weighs heavy on me because it really pulls on my heart when I hear them say thigns like I am abandoneing them. I know I need to continueto trust the Lord with everything including my parents, I need to detach.

NO, detach might not be the right thing to go for right now, understanding might be better. Your parents dont really understand what is going on and need some time. They might feel hurt, they might feel betrayed. That is a very common thing, as most here who have entered will tell you. Dont expect them to be thrilled with the idea, few parents will be. Surround them with love. Give them as much information as you can, and spend as much time as you can with them. These people love you so much, and are struggling to understand you.
You might just be the person who will bring them back to the church, but this takes time. Show them how very happy you are. Let them see photos of your trip if you have them. Downplay the fact you cant come home, and talk about how much them can visit, and when you can write them, call them or email them.
Please do not seperate yourself from them now, or you might put up barriers that wil take forver to remove. As a future religious you might detach yourself from things, from useless possesions, but never from those that love you. They are your parents, and you are forever bound.
And remember prayer works wonders, as does the utmost care and love you will give them.

I agree with Alicemary and will certainly keep your parents in my prayers. As a mom, myself, and one who is not "lapsed" and who supports vocations and the idea that if we want the church to continue we need to be willing to let our children go, I still know that it would be incredibly wrenching to see my kid go and know I would only see them again in small doses. For parents with no other children and no real appreciation for the worth and meaning of vocations, it has to be a very confusing and jumbled time. Just keep loving your parents. Their tears will certainly make it hard on you but recall that their reactions - as unhelpful as they might be - are rooted in love for you and a "selfish" desire to always have access to you.

I understand what you meant by "detach" and to some extend you will have to do that, but it must be interiorly, of course. You will not be the first sister to have parents unwilling to support the vocation...but hopefully they will not be the last parents to have a change of heart once they see how happy their daughter is! :-)

God bless!

My mom is visiting me right now and I let her read your post. She told me that when I left their house after telling them about my vocation my dad cried and actually locked himself in his office for a couple of hours. I was clueless about his pain. Her advice is to be patient and keep the communication open. And that if they see you are happy it will work out. We are both praying for her and you.

Michaela

p.s. Feast of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel!! How cool is that!

I will definitely pray for you and your parents as I, too, am an Only Child and it has taken 34 years for my father to give me His blessing. Now I am Actively Discerning.

You have alot of 'guts' and courage. Pray to Our Lady of Mount Carmel (no Coincidence there..) and she will help your parents. Keep the lines of communication open and loving; they will see your happiness.

God Bless you in every way!
You are in my Prayers.
+
Nancy

Just to clarify on how I am using the word detach. What I mean as I need to detach from my desrie to please them and have their approval, I need to let go of that. I don't mean detach in the sense of cutting myself off and living like I am a religious. Does that make sense? I agree with you on what you said but I am using detach in a different way. This is what my spiritual director has asked me to do as well as the Sisters beacuse I am attched to them in the way that I want their approval and I need to jsut trust that God is at work in their hearts and I can't make them react and respond how I want them respond. I hope that makes some sense

Let me add my congratulations at your acceptance! Wow--from Minnesota to the deep South--major culture changes are in store!

It does make sense, yes

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers at this time Tracy. God Bless.

I'm prerry excited that the date is set for the Feast of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel which is awesome. I think I mentioned this before but as of right now I will be the only one entering but a lot can change in three months. I am praying ( if the Lord wills it) for a partner in crime. It would be nice to enter with someone else. So who knows.
Thank you everyone for your continued prayers!!!

LOL! Partner in Crime! I am so going to pray for this cause!! SSEW seem to have a few vocations, so maybe you'll have a co-postulant. I knew a very lovely girl who entered there years ago. I only spoke to her a few times (online) so I love visiting their webpage to see how she's coming along.

Those sisters have my eternal respect for tiling their own roof!

I just wanted to give another update because I don't remember if I mentioned that I am now entering on August 22nd pending my student loans. Well It seems that most likely I am entering because my loans are really coming together. I am so thankful for the generoisty of my friends, college profs and random strangers. I had $34,000 in student loans and I have brought my debt down to $5,000 so I am hoping I get one of the Mater Ecclesiae Fund for Vocations Grant since they would only need to cover $5,000. So that is all very exciting.
I just got back from spending a few days with my parents which was somewhat okay. MY mom and I talked quite a lot about me entering which was good but. . . my mom is still having a hard time with the fact that I won't really be coming home and that they will need to visit me down there. I said that it's not like they will never see me again. My mom said that I don't know that. I told her the only way it can be true is if she makes it true. Then she said that her and my dad have been discussing this at great length and decided that this is too hard for them and that the only way they can get through this is if they completely cut ties with me, so she said they won;t be coming to visit.
WEll that was quite the blow but I didn't let it disturb my peace. I said okay that's how you feel right now but I hope that in time you will change your mind. I just need to continue to trust the Lord. After this conversation I jsut asked for Our Lady's intercession and entrusted them yet again to Jesus through Mary. Right after the conversation while reflecting, a passage from Psalm 27 came to mind( this has been an important psalm for me) . It's towards the end and it says something to the effect that " Though father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take me in." Hopefully my parents will come around. I think they will eventually but it will jsut take some time. Please pray for them

That must be so hard! I remember when my family was completely against my vocation and it was one of the worst times of my life, but it was also a time of great grace. Your courage and trust are very inspiring! It took my mom two years and my dad three years to accept my vocation and now they are very supportive of me entering religious life. I owe it all to prayer and the prayers of others. Keep praying for them and always show how joyful you are about entering! You're in my prayers!

Thank you for your words and for your prayers.

You and your parents will be in my prayers.

I sense that your parents will come around eventually as well. I commend you for your calm and measured response to them. I will add my own prayers for your intentions, too. Thanks for posting your update, I was beginning to wonder if your entrance was getting close.

I will be praying for you and your folks...

You are very lucky to be undergoing conflict with your parents. This proves that the enemy does not want you in the Convent. It also gives you something to offer up to Our Suffering Lord. Stay chaste while you wait! Do not allow yourself to be infected by the sins of the world! I will pray for you tonight! I will pray that your parents will come to understand that you have saved yourself for GOD and that you will be a holy Virgin in the sight of the Angels and Saints!

God Bless You!

Pax,

Beatus

I'm not sure I would agree with Beatus exactly, but I do think that this is very common for families to go through. I know my parents aren't happy (at all) with even the mention of religious life. I think it's great that you have the strength to move forward in the face of conflict and stress, and my hope for you is that this shows you how strong you are. I know others have said it better than I just did, but hopefully you know what I mean. You are entering on another great Feast of Our Lady, so I hope you find comfort in Her. God bless you, and thank you for updating us!
Perpetualove

Edited for typo!

Saint Faustina - on the spiritual life
"When, over a long period of time, a soul has received much light and many inspirations, and when the confessors have confirmed the source of these inspirations and set the soul at peace; if its love is great, Jesus now makes it known that it is time to put into action what it has received. The soul recognizes that God is counting on it, and this knowledge fortifies it. It knows that to be faithful it will often have to face various difficulties, but it trusts in God and, thanks to this trust, it reaches that point to which God is calling it. Difficulties do not terrify it; they are its daily bread, as it were. They do not frighten or terrify the soul, just as a warrior who is constantly in battle is not terrified by the roar of the cannon. Far from being frightened, it listens to determine from which side the enemy is launching his attack, in order to defeat him. It does nothing blindly, but examines and ponders everything deeply and, not counting on itself, it prays fervently and asks advice of other warriors who are experienced and wise. When the soul acts in this way, it nearly always wins."

My prayers are with you in your discernment.