Well, I have been here for 50 days now. Time moves at a leisurely pace here. This gives plenty of time to contemplate and pray. It is not a hard life, but it is certainly a relentless one. I intend to persevere. They will have to kick me out, and I don't intend to give them a reason to!

The day I left was a very long day. I got up at 12:45AM and started hauling stuff down to the basement of the apartment building for disposal. There wasn't too much stuff left. There was really just my bed by that point. I then finished cleaning the apartment. I took a cab to the airport and got there in plenty of time. I had anticipated possible problems but there were none. I sailed through customs without a problem. I was picked up at the Albuquerque Airport at about 1PM. I went out for supper in a town about 50 miles from the abbey. I arrived around 5PM or so, just in time for the Silent Prayer at 5:20PM. That is where I date the beginning of my monastic life to.

I did not have a problem adjusting to the Prayer Schedule. I guess it was just because I knew what was expected and just naturally fell into the rhythm. I'm glad about how smooth the transition has been.

It is amazing just how dark it is when it is overcast here. The nearest streetlight is a good 20 miles away, so there's no light pollution. There are a couple lights on the top of one of the casitas, and that helps me find my way from my casita to the casita with the bathroom. But if the abbey building itself has no lights on it is almost totally dark. And quiet? At night sometimes the only sound is your own breathing.

Most of my Work Periods have been on the Holy Website. They have some CMS software installed on it. I am not crazy about it but it does make making changes a lot easier. It is a venerable website but it hasn't really been overhauled since I checked it for Link Rot almost three years ago. So there is a lot to do. But I have also been Assistant Cook 6 times now. When you are Assistant Cook, you don't have to show up for the Little Hours. You can't really anyway because you are cooking and preparing food for 30+ people.

I am responsible for the Holy Website, the Holy Computer Network and the Holy Phone System. If I were to have any more influence in the way the abbey communicates with the outside world, I would have to also pick up the mail and parcels!

I have made a lot of edits on the Holy Website. I have also added my "A Day in the Life of Christ in the Desert" file as well as my "Liturgy of the Hours Resources Page" to the site. I have also put together a Photo Gallery. I have decided to use a third party web site called "myphotoalbum.com" so feel free to bookmark http://christinthedesert.myphotoalbum.com. We might decide to move it if it gets too annoying. I am currently editing some commentaries on the Rule of St. Benedict that Abbot Philip wrote a few years ago.

The Prior led the junior monks, including me, on a hike to the top of the cliffs behind the Abbey Church. It was a long hike with about a 1,000 foot elevation gain overall. Once there, we planted a cross between two others.

There have been some personality clashes and misunderstandings. That is to be expected in a moderately large and very multicultural abbey like this one. But I am getting along quite well. The abbot says he is glad I am here and not just because of my computer skills. That is good to know. Both he and the cellarer (business manager) are confident that I will persevere. That is very good news indeed.

It really is amazing to be here, in many ways. Postulancy is a lot different from Observership. You start taking a much bigger role in the community life. Who knows? Maybe in 6 years' time, I will have my Solemn Profession here.

The abbey is packed right now. We are even using rooms that are not supposed to be cells as cells! Our Lady of the Desert will soon be moving into temporary quarters while their new monastery is set up. That will free up 8 cells that were built between when the Old Cells were built and the big square cloister. So I guess that makes them the Middle Aged Cells! Also, the abbey will be starting up a Vietnamese Domus on land they are looking at that is about an hour and a half out of Dallas. They have permission from the Bishop to set it up, and the Council of Deans has given the abbot permission to buy the property. It might be a year or so before the Vietnamese brothers can move over there.

Christ in the Desert already has 3 daughter houses, but this one will be the first one it has founded on its own rather than having an existing community approach them to be a sponsor.

I also finally got around to seeing “The Monastery”, the documentary that was shot at the abbey two years ago. I was in the Chapter Room when the production company made its pitch to the monks. Overall, I liked the series. There were a few things that could have been worded better, especially the infamous “God needs us” sound bite. Many of the answers given were not as intellectually rigorous as they probably could have been. So I can see how sanctimonious gits might get their knickers in a twist over some parts of it.

I just thought I would update you on my progress.

Thanks so much for the update, Br. Dunstan It's fantastic to hear from you. Please keep me in your prayers!

Thank you for the update!! I love checking in on the Blog and receiving Fr. Abbot's Homily each week.
I am praying for you, Please pray for me as I discern..Hope to have my mind made up by next month...

Peace
+
Nancy

This is so wonderful to hear. You and your brother monks remain held in our prayers.

Dunstan, I am so glad to see your update here. I'm a regular reader of the Abbot's Homily also. Sounds like a beautiful place. Am praying for your perseverence--keep posting, as we are sorely in need of some male balance on the phorum!

How wonderful to hear from you. Your Father Abbot is such an insightful, blessed man, I love reading what he writes. God be with you as you continue your journey. Remember us in your prayers.
Your sister in Christ,
Alicemary

Thank you Br. for noting your experiences. I've never been given the opportunity to "sneak a peek" at the lifestyle of male religious life. Those pictures on the web are great! Thanks so much for sharing. Yes, please, keep us updated. The sisters, are they close to where you are right now? Peace and many blessings. Keep us fellow discerners in your prayers!

DUNSTAN......lol....protomonk! lol Good to see you again and hear that you arrived safe and sound and all the financial situations covered. Thank heaven for benefactors. ML inquired about you. I gave them an update for you.
Best of luck for the future. Not easy adjusting and redifining outselves at OUR ages.

Later.
Blessings

I agree, Male Balance is good.

all: rest assured of my prayers

Guadalupe23: the nuns of Our Lady of the Desert are about 200 yards from the back door of the cloister. If that! I would say thats close! They are however moving in about 3 weeks to temporary digs until their new place is ready. That will be about 2 hours by car away. Long story but there just isnt room for 2 growing communities here on the property anymore!

Well, here I am almost 90 days into my Postulancy. So far so good. Things are getting a bit better. Not that they were all that bad, mind you, but I seem to be adjusting quite nicely to my life here.

A few weeks ago a professor at a Baptist seminary came here and gave us a conference on the Gospel of Luke and also on Acts. It was very good and informative. It was great to see both books taken together. He brought some of his students along as well. I was very impressed by them. They were respectful of the place and our traditions and customs. They came up for a blessing during communion rather than try to receive communion. Some of them even tried to participate in our full Horarium. Or at least as much as they could! My prior had lots of positive feedback from the students as well. For some of them it was their first positive experience with Catholics. I can understand that. I am glad there was some positive feedback. It represents seeds of understanding. That is important.

I participated in a Corpus Christi procession on Corpus Christi Sunday. I have never seen or participated in such a procession before. It is a first for the abbey as well. After communion was distributed, we processed out to a small garden then to the Guest Lobby then back. The weather was great, as it usually is here. I hope it becomes an annual occurrence. Eucharistic Adoration was a fairly important part of my prayer life during my last few years prior to joining.

I completed 30 days of saying the Rosary for the requests and intentions of my prayer list. The Rosary is not usually part of my prayer practice, but I thought I would honour the Blessed Virgin this way.

My usual prayer routine during the half hour of Silent Prayer before Vespers is the Jesus Prayer. I do have a strong connection to that prayer. I make good use of my Prayer Rope.

There are still misunderstandings, communications problems, and aggravations. But that is to be expected in any community. Sometimes these problems arise over some very silly things. Everything however gets magnified because of everyone’s close proximity. That is part of what makes it such an intense life. I will persevere through them. I have to; so I will.

I am still puttering away on the Holy Website. It is one of the oldest monastery websites, and parts of it had not been updated in several years. But at least it gives me a chance to exercise some additional skills. I’ve learned lots about how CSS files work by using it to control how “printer friendly pages” are generated on the site. I am adding new features and beefing up existing content.

Since I am responsible for the Holy Website, I have more internet access than I usually would as a postulant, or even as someone in Simple Vows would have. So I have to be careful not to abuse it. I am very grateful for the high level of access I do have. Sending an email is much cheaper than sending a paper letter.

I still go on hikes as often as possible. After all, I went to all the trouble of getting custom made, hand made hiking boots and had them shipped directly here. I better use them! My usual Sunday hikes end a couple hundred yards from the back gate of the monastery, right up against the base of the cliffs. I found a spot where the cliff forms a natural chair. It is great for prayer, meditation, and enjoying the scenery. There is also a trail that goes from the back gate north about 5 miles along the river.

On “Desert Days”, I like to wander a bit farther in search of solitude. Last Desert Day, I went to the end of the trail then kept going a bit further. I went to a deep, steep-sided gully and hiked up it. I found a spot with a large flat rock shaded by a larger rock overhang. I stayed there for lunch and some prayers. The way back was a challenge. I made it back to the trail but got turned around a couple times and would up going in circles. I eventually straightened myself out but it made the hike another couple miles longer!

It looks like they won’t let me keep my name. That is too bad as it’s the perfect Benny Monk Name. One of my brother monks suggested Br. Taciturnitas. You know you are quiet when your brother monks in a contemplative abbey call you “the Quiet One!” I am open to suggestions. Josaphat maybe? Bruno? Cassian?

So far since my arrival, there have been two Solemn Professions, one Transfer of Vows, and two Renewals of Temporary Vows. Another brother has had his application for Solemn Vows approved. He will be making his Solemn Profession in mid-August. There are three Novices, one American, one Korean, and one Vietnamese. The American one left for a month and has now returned. He might leave again. He is unsure if he really wants to stay here or not. Please pray for vocational clarity for Br. Michael.

The nuns of Our Lady of the Desert have moved out now to temporary lodgings until their own property gets set up. There just isn’t room on the property for both of us anymore. Myself and the three juniors will be moving back there in a couple weeks and apparently a few other men want to “sign up” as well soon. So even with the sisters gone, their old monastery will soon be full again.

I also am helping out our oldest monk, a Claustral Oblate named Br. Benedict, with some memoirs he is writing. He is a former Anthropology professor from a university in Colorado. He joined sometime after his wife died. Obviously, his kids are all grown. He’s still pretty sharp but he is also 89 and not as familiar with computers as young pups like myself.

The weather around here has been great. There were some snowy days during the first couple weeks. There has been nothing like the several inches to a foot or so of snow at a time that would fall in Ottawa. There have been a couple rainy days as well. So far at least there have been no road washouts, but it is still early in Rainy Season! It has been comfortably in the 90’s all week and I think a couple days we broke 100. Weatherwise, the biggest adjustment that I have had to make is the huge temperature ranges. It is usually around 40 degrees but can exceed 50 sometimes.

But enough babbling. Just thought I would let you know that I am still alive and well.

We always anticipate your writing and filling us in on your life. It seems like you are at peace, and that is so important. Continue to keep us in your prayers!

I was looking at your Abbey's website, and I must say that it is very beautiful! Both the surroundings and what you do throughout the day. I just have a quick question for you, though: are you Benedictine or Opus Dei? Looking through the website I couldn't find which order you are, but I found many references to St. Benedict and some about Opus Dei, so I'm not sure, lol! Thank you for your updates, too! I'm seriously discerning a monastic vocation, myself, so hearing about someone's postulancy is a lot of help!

May God bless and protect you always in all of your endeavors, especially your discernment!

Your Brother in Christ,

Joe

The Monastery of Christ in the Desert is Benedictine. The use of the phrase Opus Dei refers to the Divine Office, which St. Benedict calls The Work of God (Opus Dei) in his Holy Rule.

We are definitely Benedictine. Today is our partronal feast day and also the 44th anniversary of our founding. The monastery is dedicated to Christ in the Desert but it is under the patronage of John the Baptist, as it was on this day that our founder, Fr. Aelred, arrived on the property. I made a quick change to the site making sure that the title now says "Benedictine Abbey of Christ in the Desert". Nazfarmer, you'd certainly be welcome to come for a vocational retreat or observership. Just email Abbot Philip and ask. There are plenty of flights from Chicago to Albuquerque and one of us can come pick you up.

Time for another update, dear phatmassers
The biggest news of the last month is that myself, two of the novices, and two senior monks have moved to the buildings that used to be Our Lady of the Desert. The nuns have moved out to Blanco, NM, in preparation for moving to their new home near Gobernador. The cells are bigger and brighter than what I had in the “old Cells”, which are the original monastery residences. It is quiet but a good 100 yards from the main monastery building. Walking back and forth is good exercise.

We are expecting another couple postulants in a few weeks. That will mean soon I won’t be the only one. Oh, and also a Candidate who will be here for a couple months. It is good to see that growth is continuing here. Abbot Philip says he is in email contact with 15 men who are considering joining.

Rainy season is here now. So far at least, the road leading to the property has not washed out. I am sure that will happen sometime soon. There are several arroyos and a couple slot canyons between the property and the highway. 12 miles can be a long way sometimes. I love a good solid downpour though.

I have not gone on a hike in a couple weeks. It has either been threatening to rain or I have had some reading or writing that I needed to do.

I have submitted three names for my name in religion, Joseph, Bruno, and Cassian. Joseph would be my first pick, but it is the Abbot’s role to pick that. He said that he would not have given me Josaphat as it is unusual. No you CAN’T contact the abbot and lobby for Joseph.

Since I was baptised Ukrainian Catholic rather than Roman Catholic Church, my abbot has to get permission from the head of the Ukrainian Catholic Church, which is in union with Rome, before I can enter the Noviciate. Usually, I would be entering some time in late September. This might delay things a couple weeks, depending on how busy the Holy Bureaucracy is. I would like to enter the Noviciate on either October 3 or December 5. Those were two very important dates back in 1975 and this will give me a different reason to remember those dates.

Once I do enter the Noviciate, I would ordinarily not be allowed any contact with the outside world whether by letter, phone, or email. I do have an exemption because of my working on the website, but I will be expected to only use my internet connection for abbey business. That will take a bit of discipline on my part.

I work almost exclusively with the website now. I have played around with a few settings, and also added or modified lots of content. The biggest contribution I have made to it in the last month is to add the abbot’s reflections on the Rule of St. Benedict. I have added a couple small pages of my own as well. There really is not much left for me to do on the website.

I also help my brother monks out with computer problems as well. After all, the usual person who would be doing that is chronically sick with some sort of intestinal tract problem.

I still have not left the property except to go on a hike since I arrived. I don’t mind that. I have no real need to anyway. I must admit that I do get the occasional craving for junk food or a hamburger or a steak. No meat from 4-footed animals, but fish or poultry is ok. I will need an appointment for teeth cleaning sometime in September, and that will probably be my first foray off the property other than for a hike.

Speaking of hike, I saw my first rattlesnake in its natural state. The rattle was lower, more melodious, less harsh and rattle-like than I have heard on television. I was only maybe 30 yards from the Guestmaster’s Office, on our relatively new Stations of the Cross trail. Nevertheless, it was coiled, ready to strike, and looking right at me. Given that I was wearing sandals, my long habit, and an old pair of black tights, I really didn’t feel like getting too close. But at least I will know what to listen for when I am a few miles into the bush.

Mind you, if I was a few miles into the bush, I would be wearing my hiking boots, a pair of socks, and a pair of heavy slacks as well as a short tunic and a hat. That would give me a lot more protection in case of venomous snakes trying to take nibbles out of me. It would also give me a chance to survive the trip back to the abbey.

I have adapted to this life fairly easily. One thing that I find interesting is how the Psalms have not gotten old yet. We chant the entire Psalter every week, and many of the psalms are repeated every day. Yet I don’t find that I am just going through the motions. I am slowly memorising them through the constant exposure, yet they always seem fresh. One advantage of having a bad memory I guess.

Time seems to move at a much more leisurely pace here. It may simply be because I no longer have a job where I am being metered to the hundredth of a second and hundredth of a percentage point. I am amazed that I lasted that long there, but I did not have very many options.

One big new project of mine is to relearn Latin. I used to know the language but that was 20 years ago. The Abbey Library has a few copies of Wheelock’s Latin, which is the standard text for learning University level Latin. It is what I used 20 or so years ago to learn Latin in the first place. We also have the Lewis and Short Latin – English dictionary, which is one of the better ones. Our sub-prior is ordering a couple other items for me that will also help me out. I hope to have my knowledge of Latin back in about a year. Then I might be able to teach Latin to some of the other monks.

It's so wonderful to hear from you, Br. Duncan

You have picked three wonderful names... are you sure your abbot will restrict himself to them, though?

It's really nice to read your descriptions of the monastery life. We'll surely miss them during your novitiate...

And speaking of that, are you allowed to receive mail?

Startz:

I'm glad you mentioned that you don't find the psalms boring and that you're not just going through the motions.

I prayed vespers once or twice a week at a Benedictine monastery for an extended period and I had the same experience. Praying the psalms is like praying the rosary in that it is the same set of prayers in the same order again and again, but neither the psalms nor the rosary were/are monotonous to me. Both the psalms and the mysteries are rich in meaning for us to mine and realize, and the meaning will never be depleted if we bring our current situation, needs, petitions, and understandings (from reading the Bible or theological sources) to those set words.

If that were not the case, I doubt that the Divine Office and/or the rosary would have been used - and to such great effect - for so long by so many people in so many countries; obviously, it works.

I did used to wonder why no new psalms have been written since the time of King David - and in a sense I guess you could say that hymns written since then are a form of new psalm - but then I realized that, within those 150 sets of lyrics, all human situations are reflected and dealt with, and all possible relationships to God are represented. So whatever our current individual situation is, one or another of the psalms can provide us with the words we need to understand ourselves and express ourselves to God.

Thanks for the update, and may your novitiate prove fruitful.

I interrupt my radio silence to announce that Br. Cecilian Ratsimbazafy, OSB will be making his Solemn Profession here at MCID tomorrow morning. He is from Madagascar and was in a monastery there for several years before transferring here.

YIKES!! I'm glad you included the fact that he's from Madagascar - if you hadn't, I would have thought for sure you were making up the name!

Nonetheless, prayers for God to bless him in his monastic vocation.

Let him know I am praying for him.

Good News. Prayers for both of you...

Time for my third update

This has been a busy month. Many things have happened. Most of them good.

The biggest event was the Solemn Profession of Br. Cecilian. He is from Madagascar and has spent time in formation in a couple monasteries there. He is also a very good guitar player. But, he was at the end of his ninth year in Simple Vows. By Canon Law, that is all you are allowed. So he applied for Solemn Profession and that was granted.

I've had my ups and downs this month. The honeymoon is over, the novelty has worn off, and now the real work of becoming a monk begins. This is to be expected. I knew it would happen eventually. A couple good hikes pulled me out of the "blahs". They usually do!

The first hike was a relatively short hike. There is a small ridge between the main abbey building and the Noviciate. I hiked up that, then down the side of an arroyo, then up again. There is a scree slope leading a couple hundred feet up the cliffs behind the Noviciate. It is steep but doable.

The second hike was much longer. If you have seen my pictures of the abbey property, you might recall a long slope at the back of the property that seems to go right to the top of the mesa. I had wanted to make an ascent of that slope for weeks. Br. Francis, one of the other monks here had never climbed it either. So we both made the attempt. By the time it was time to turn back, we made it almost to the top of the mesa. We were certainly above the top of the cliffs. We would like to do an expedition one day that would take us up that slope, across to the crosses then down Chavez Canyon and back to the abbey.

There is certainly toughness and struggle in this life. This, however, is to be expected. But there are joys to it as well. Masses are always celebrated with reverence and attention to detail. I have a life conducive to prayer, contemplation, study, and work, all in good balance. I am surrounded by views I never tire of. It is very easy to be 5 miles from the nearest other living person. No-one tries to “help me out of my shell”. No sanctimonious gits. A good community, for all its faults (and mine!).

There have been quite a few new faces here this month. Three Observers have come by to try out the life. At least one of them has decided that the life is too challenging here. That is understandable. We also have a new Postulant, a PhD in Math and former seminarian whose spiritual director suggested that maybe monastic life would be better for him than the diocesan priesthood. There is also another fellow who is trying to re enter monastic life. He was a monk before but an aunt became gravely ill. He asked his community for exclaustration, a kind of “leave of absence”, but his community refused, so he had to ask to be dispensed of his vows. His aunt died a few months ago and now he is here for a couple months. He is a talented singer and musician. He might enter here; he might not. There will be other Observers in the coming weeks.

One of the Novices, Br. Evagrius, left the abbey and has returned to Korea. There are still two Novices: Br. John the Baptist, from Vietnam, and Br Michael, from the US of A.

I have a couple more “jobs” within the community now. That is good. At least now I am not solely working on the Holy Website. I am looking more and more like the “Brother Url” graphic on the website with each month!

I asked the abbot if I can be received into the Noviciate on October 3, as that is the anniversary of a very traumatic event that took place in 1975. He is ok with that, even though he will be in Italy that day. He can authorize Prior Francisco to receive me into the Noviciate though. That is the Feast of Blessed Columba Marmion. Oh, and Columba’s legal first name was Joseph.

I have started learning Latin, as I indicated in my last update. The downside is that now that I have these extra “jobs” I do not have as much free time as I once had. So I must schedule things and use time properly.

Last Thursday was my first trip off the property, except for hiking, since I arrived here on March 26th. I just needed to apply for my Social Security Card and get some pictures taken. We dropped off the Abbot at Albuquerque Airport first. It is a 2 and a half hour drive. Then we went to the SSA office in Santa Fe. Turns out the border guard who let me into the country decided my first name was “Dumetra” and so that is what is entered on my I-94. So now that name is an alias for me. Oivey!

Then we went to a doctor in Espanola to see the results of a TB test. One of the other brothers with me, a priest from Korea, tested positive for TB, so we went from the doctor to a community health clinic, to a store for some shopping errands, to lunch, back to the clinic, to an imaging center for some chest x-rays, then back to the initial doctor. But at least that stage is complete.

Anyway, I better get this sent out. I am Assistant Cook today!

oops

You're in our thoughts and prayers, thank you for being so candid in your reports.

Thank you for these updates. God Bless you brother!

You're in my thoughts and prayers, brother. I miss you.

Thank you for the encouraging and honest update. It is always helpful for discerners to have a look at the everyday-inside of monastic life. Keeping you in prayer...

I interrupt my radio silence again to announce that the Abbot and his Council have approved my request to enter the Noviciate on October 3. That is the memorial of Blessed Columba Marmion (who seems like a neat guy) and is also the 33rd anniversary of a very traumatic and lifechanging event. That is why I chose it. I did not know about Bl. Columba Marmion.

Congratulations and many prayers

Congratulations to you! Many blessings to you and your brothers. Here's a link to a little information about Bl Columba Marmion. You're right, he really is a "neat guy".


http://saints.sqpn.com/saintc53.htm

I interrupt my radio silence to announce that one of my brother monks died this morning. Details are a bit sketchy at the moment but by the sounds of it after Lauds he made himself some breakfast from leftovers and some plants that grow on the property. It looks like he had some sort of allergic reaction that caused vomiting and a constriction in his throat. He was a couple years younger than I am. He is only the second of our monks to die.

Please say a prayer for the repose of the soul of Br. John Dat, OSB. Requiem Mass will probably be tomorrow. We are all a bit shook up right now. Requiescam in pace, and may the angels lead you into paradise, little buddy

Oh I'm so sorry. What a terrible shock. I will pray for Br John and all of the monks. May Christ give you all His abundant peace in these sad times for your community. May you have peace in knowing your brother is with our Lord, whom he sought to serve with all his heart and soul and whom he has now met face to face in resurrection glory.

Many prayers, Br. Dunstan.

Hello again:

Today at Noon (Mountain) Br. John Dat Nguyen, OSB, will be laid to rest. A Requiem Mass was celebrated for him on Monday. He was autopsied yesterday morning, and cremated late yesterday afternoon. His ashes were brought home for the last time last night. His funeral mass will be at noon, with burial right after.

He is actrually the first of our monks to die. there was a Brother Christopher who died a few years ago but he was a Claustral Oblate and not a solemnly professed monk.

He was born on August 9, 1970 in Vietnam. He made his first profession on 24th of November 1995 at Thien Bin. He came here in December 2006 and made his Solemn Profession April 12, 2008. He was 38.

His death was a big shock to us. It was very sudden and he was quite young. He did, however, have a few health and medical problems. We won't know the results of the autopsy for another three weeks.

Thank you for your prayers for us in this time

May God rest his soul, and give you all comfort as you mourn your loss. May he be brought from death to the new life we all hope for in Christ.

Here is my last update before I enter the Noviciate October 3. I do not think I will do any updates until after I take simple vows. I might make an announcement about when that will be, though!

Well, it is now 180 days since I started my Postulancy. My entrance to the Noviciate is still scheduled for October 3. I am still looking forward to it. This will be when some of the harder questions start getting asked and answered. I'd invite people to come down but by the looks of it it is a private ceremony that takes place in the Chapter Room.

One big event for me was making bread for the first time ever. I had always wanted to try but never got around to it. I took the opportunity to learn how for a work period then a couple days later I made 15 loaves of bread. I had some help from one of the "regular bakers" after the yeast had finished rising and I was about to start putting the flour in. So it wasn't completely solo. Still, it was great to taste the finished product. It was about 1/3 white flour to 2/3 whole wheat flour with some honey, olive oil and molasses as well. The bread turned out very well indeed. I hope to make more bread someday. That chance will probably come.

The biggest event of all over the last month was the sudden death of Br. John Dat Nguyen on the 14th. He died in his room sometime between the end of Lauds at 6:45 and noon when his body was discovered. He was the first solemnly professed brother to die in-house. He was 38. There was another brother who died in 2003 but he was a Claustral Oblate who was in hospital after a long illness. That isn’t the same as checking up on a brother who missed Mass and finding that he died. His death was a very big shock for all of us. After all, he was 38 and had died suddenly. His death has been particularly hard on the Vietnamese monks as they are very close.

The State Police were summoned that afternoon and his body was taken away for an autopsy in Albuquerque. I spent Tuesday’s Work Period playing with Photoshop and PageMaker in order to create a Memorial Card. The autopsy took place Tuesday morning and the cremation took place late Tuesday afternoon.

There was an announcement from our Subprior that the Prior might not be back from Santa Fe until midnight. Some of the brothers stayed up after Compline to make sure they could welcome his ashes back. He came back at about 10:30. Prior Francisco carried him in with some of the Vietnamese brothers chanting something in Vietnamese behind him. I had been in the Abbey Church by myself praying for the repose of his soul.

His Funeral Mass was Wednesday at noon. It was celebrated in Latin, Vietnamese, and English. Considering the short notice involved, it was very well attended. It was really emotional when he was placed in his grave and the grave filled in. One of the brothers, a 20 year old Vietnamese postulant who is going to be leaving the postulancy in a couple days, almost completely lost his composure and started sobbing. I hugged him and let him lean on me. I must admit that there were a couple tears in my eyes too.

He will still be formally remembered for a month after his death. There is a place set for him in the Refectory. In front of his place setting is a framed photo of him. In front of that there is a crucifix flanked by two candles.

I have not been out hiking too much. I wanted to make that long circuit I mentioned in my last missive, but I had an obligation to help with cleaning up after the lunch meal that day. Duty before pleasure. The meal itself is optional, but cleaning up after it isn't! October 3 is the next Desert Day too. If the weather is good and I have no kitchen duties that day I will do the circuit. If one of the other monks comes along on the hike, so much the better. Getting to the crosses from the long slope has never been attempted, so it will be a first.

I left the property again a few days ago for a teeth cleaning appointment. Sheesh, two trips off the property in the space of a month. Obviously I am growing lax in my observance!

There have been a few conflicts and miscommunications as well, but that is one of the things that makes monastic life monastic in the first place. Yes, there is a “Paradisus Claustralis”, a Cloistered Paradise, and yes, Christ in the Desert is part of it. But, our corner of the “Paradisus” is populated by fallible humans, as are all corners of the “Paradisus”. It is important to keep that tension between “Cloistered Paradise” and “fallen humanity” ever in mind.

I have found that now the Psalms, and indeed the Divine Office as a whole, are comfortable and familiar now. They are comfortable like an old and well loved sweater (or jumper for my English friends).

It will soon be time for my Noviciate to start. Once it does, I will not be able to be online except for abbey business and for research projects related to my formation. That will be a lot harder for me than for most. After all, given my computer skills and knowledge, I am allowed more computer access than most. After all, I am in charge of updating the Holy Website. It is a lot easier to avoid temptation when there is no temptation to avoid in the first place!

Good luck and prayers to you Brother Dunstan! Please pray for all of us here on Phatmass!

Best wishes, Brother Dunstan. Remember that the whole phamily is behind you. God's blessing on the year.

A lovely update. Thank you. Continued prayers for you and this next step on your journey, as well as for your whole comunity

Hi, I've just checked the monastery web site -
just to remind you Starez/Br Dunstan became a Novice last Friday,
he is now called - Br Bruno and today is his first feast day, please pray for him, pax

Yay! Thanks Sr.

Delightful. We shall pray for him.

I just received a Christmas letter from Br. Bruno in response to my Christmas Card. He asks me to pass on his hello, that he is still at the Monastery and all is going well. He reports he has passed his 2 month scrutiny with the Abbot and the council. He administers the monastery website, but cannot post due to being in the novitiate. He is quite busy being responsible for the monastery guests' breakfasts, baking bread, assisting with the gift shop, and working on writing out the Rule of St. Benedict in Latin and English (apparently one of the expected projects to be finished by the time one makes simple vows there)! Something about "ora et labora"-- lots of labora-- He continues to hike in the surrounding terrain when possible for fun.