+J.M.J.+
to all:

if i came across as uncaring, I am sorry. i realize that beatus' mom is probably not internet-savvy, and did not realize that she should contact the moderators and dUSt about her son's problems. my post was not meant as a 'shut-down'. please do not read more into it other than a busy mom trying to nip a problem in the bud whilst also chasing down a very busy 17 month old daughter. (this will be the only time i, as a mod, will explain myself. ) i do the best i can (all the mods do) to try to curb problems and edit where necessary; doing this while being a single parent (my husband is away for most of the summer) is a struggle that i hope you can understand or empathize with. most of my posts will be concise and blunt, and if they come across as 'cold' or 'uncaring', you are reading too much into it.

we as mods are concerned about beatus, and i did not make that clear. but we struggle with what to do in situations such as this. if we don't respond to pm's or emails in what you think is a timely manner, please do not think we are ignoring you. we are most likely trying to figure out what to do, in the midst of taking care of our families and our own personal problems. please read what hsmom wrote in open mic (here). please also realize that most of the mods are not a religious or discerning religious - the majority of them of either married (with kids) or dating, or single. so it is hard to relate to the majority of posters here, and it is also hard when we do not see the majority of posters in VS anywhere else on the phorums. meaning that we don't get to know phatmassers that only stay here very well.

if you have a problem, or you see something against the guidelines, please hit the report button, instead of private messaging one or two mods. It is better to hit the report button and explain the situation via the report. That way the problem is open for any mod to handle and all the mods are kept up to speed as all the information is in one place.

We are also in the process of making the VS a better place. Please be patient while we are reviewing the posting policies here. Reporting problems is one way all pmers can help.

please also realize that especially here, in this part of the phorum, posters need to be careful in the advice that they are giving. obviously many young people come here looking for answers in their discernment process. Please be sensitive to the fact of people's ages, and the maturity levels that come with age (or lack thereof).

thank you and may God bless you all. please pray for me, as i pray for all those discerning every day.

And here I thought, yet again, that you were going to say you were pregnant.

Thanks, Lil Red, and all the mods for all the work you do! And thanks so much for praying for our discernment every day! Wow! God bless all of you too!

I thought you did an excellent job in responding! It was short, non-judgemental, and on the mark. I will pray that this family resolves their problems and comes out of it more loving and closer than ever.

Thank you for your candor. It is very hard,whenyou see someone who is very troubled and obvioiusly in need of some immediate psychiatric help and you are helpless to help. As a professional I feel so limited in what I can say. And as a 'mature' phatmasser, I see things in a different light sometimes. People need the phorum to reach out to others, but when they go spouting off in some dangerous tangents, it is when the mods need to step in. I felt terrible for Beatus' Mom.
Prayers for the family and for our mods!!!

Also, please feel free to report behavior that does not specifically violate the guidelines but may be indicative of a troubled member. Just "report" the post and explain to us why you think there is something brewing. We always discuss such reports (which is why they are not always acted upon instantly.)

Thanks to the moderators for mentioning "report". I had no idea how to contact the "team" in one "post"...which is why I sent out more than one private mail. Since it was mentioned that we should not do that, I thought I'd go ahead and explain why I did it that way. Oh Gee (slaps forehead) I probably shouldn't go on explaining myself....I guess it doesn't matter "why" I did it...now I know better...so I'll just say thanks for the info....THANKS.

Pax

*edited for typo

You did fine, Lil Red. I still love you

I was thinking "religious ocd in the making" when i saw the initial post and was going to comment on that sunday but our phones and internet connection decided to observe the Sabbath

It would be highly desirable, but, I suppose, not realistic to have a spiritual director as a moderator on Vocation Station. someone who could monitor the posts for symptoms of problems which an experienced SD must encounter fairly often. I have felt for some time that VS uniquely attracts posters from across the spectrum of psychological orientation and maturity and puts these posters and those who answer them in potential jeopardy. Something to think about.

From another "mature...helpless...professional...
potter of OCD...who feels terrible for the family" and holds them all in prayer. Wholehearted agreement with all of you above. Thanks also for the report info. It will be a help to us all if this type of thing happens again. God bless us everyone.

Sorry-tried to edit and it didn't take. That should be "spotter" of OCD without the blank space in the middle of the line!

I wondered what kind of person would be a "potter of OCD"

I didn't even see his original posts, and only responded later thinking I was dealing with a girl. There are some things that aren't meant to be dealt with online, and it's very hard to assess where someone is at. You handled it as well as anyone could have. I raised two boys, and the teenage years are difficult enough with ordinary kids. After reading his mom's post, I went back and read his other stuff, and they could be dealing something very serious. My husband is a full time advocate for the mentally ill, and I spend more time around schizophrenics than most psychiatrists, and some of the things he said sounded ominously familiar.

All we can do in the end really is pray for him and his family.

Don't worry about it - I would have wondered myself what on earth kind of character would try to put OCD into a pot!!

Someone who has an obsessive desire to see everything in its own neatly-labelled jar?