I was wondering about what you guys are thinking about entering "young". I know there are many examples of saints who entered young (St. Therese comes to mind, of course, and St. Catherina da Siena vowed virginity at age eight), but there are also many solid communities who ask for at least a year of college or some work experience, which feels sensible to me.

What do you think? As a general rule, if you feel called at a young age, is it best to enter directly, go through college first/get work experience, or what?

(Personally, I wouldn't have lasted a week in the religious life if I'd entered straight after secondary school, so for me the question is moot...)

Same here.


I think it's a good idea for people to spend some time "finding themselves" (as cheesy as it sounds) after secondary school. I know that as people, we are continually evolving, but during those high school years, I think I was a completely different person each week (ugh... teenage years).

Stepping out of your parents' shadow and gaining a bit more independence and self-knowledge after high school, I think, is a good idea. Am I totally against eighteen-year-olds entering the convent? No. Do I think fifteen-year-olds who are prepared to the convent (like St. Therese) are rarities? Yes.

I think it depends. We should always strive to respond when God calls. And He does call us at certain times in our lives.

For younger persons, I think it is extremely important that they find a very holy and competent spiritual director that they can work with to be sure that God is calling them to enter without having gone to college or had work experience.

I have a good friend who entered about half a year after graduating high school. She spent about two years in the convent, and is now back for "further discernment". Not on her own wishes, but those of the Mother Superior.

Recent studies in neuroscience have shown that the brain does not fully mature until the early twenties, later for men than for women (not surprisingly!;))

This is one of the reasons behind the Graduated Driving Laws in many (most?) states that have been enacted in the last few years, after a terrible epidemic of fatal car crashes involving 16 year old (legal) drivers.

I think that there's a lesson here for those entering religious life. I personally suspect orders, including some very well-known ones, who accept girls just out of high school. I don't think that men's orders do this. (Diocesan seminary is another matter-there are so many years until ordination). The largest, so-called 'updated' orders make their requirements very clear; at least two years of post high school college or work experience. In fact , most of those entering these orders are mature, with a lot of education and work experience. It appears that these orders, although not attracting many candidates, appear to retain a much higher percentage of them.

If one feels that she should enter as soon a possible, I suspect an unstable or immature vocation. What's wrong with waiting a couple of years, getting some education which might be useful in a convent or monastery, especially a contemplative one? If you is really set on religious life, I think that it's unlikely that you're going to meet the 'love of your life'. People who find these are usually looking for them(!).

There is a wide world of differrence between the maturity of a 17 year old and one of 22. Those years are vital to your development as an independent adult. I think it is a dangerous practice to go right from your parents house to the convent with no time on your own. You do not need to go into debt with advanced degrees. There is something to be said for working and earning your keep.
Wisely, most convents require you to have some life experience first. I know I am going to get blasted for this, but I speak from years of experience. You do not know what life is about at 18. You may be happy for a few months/years, but soon you are going to say....what was I thinking??? When you realize that you never lived on your own, dated or paid your own bills you might have serious regrets.
As to the saints entering at 16, sure that was the trend years ago. People only lived to around 45 years of age. They died young then. A person who was 16 could marry and often did. Thankfully that practice died in the 1960's or sooner.
If God is truly calling you to be His spouse, there is no reason to run right into a convent after high school. Get some life experience. Find out what this world is really like, and I do not mean sleep around or be a kept woman. I am saying, go to school, or get a job and learn how to deal with people.
Yes, there are many convents that say, sure you are 17, come on in. They dont show you how many of these same gals leave within months.
Grow up fully. Don't run into anything and especially don't be talked into things. If you are called, certainly don't delay for years and years while actively dating etc. But you need at least 2 years post high school or more.

It is beautiful to want to give God the best of your years, but you need a certain level of maturity and experience.

I agree. The Holy Spirit calls us all in His time, and whether that be right out of high school or with a couple years more in the world. Those young women who did enter out of highschool and left, I do not believe that it was not the Holy Spirit's will in all cases and that is why they did not ... go on. Our Lord writes straight with crooked lines, sometimes... usually a lot.

Then too, there are many cases where young women have entered after high school and went on and took final vows. I know a Carmelite who made Solemn Profession last year who entered at 17. Then, a young woman who entered another community I know entered about six months after graduating as well and will be making vows soon.

I think it depends on an individual's situation. I know that some people may need some time to really experience life on their on two feet before entering the convent. Others, however, may be called by God to the convent directly after high school. You cannot make a blanket statement saying that everyone who feels called to the religious life should go to college first, because it may be completely contrary to what God wants. Like I said, it varies from person to person. This question doesn't just have a yes or no answer.




I disagree. While that could be true for many people, for others it could be something they are definetly sure about. Everyone discerns at different speeds. Some may feel they have an honest vocation sooner than others. It all depends on the individual in question.

You are right. It does depend on the individual. Most people, however, probably need to be tested in the world, to mature and make sure this is really what they want. On the other hand there are few people, young though they may be, who know deep down to their bones of their vocation -- and even felt it as a child. To delay their entrance would only give the devil, the world, and the flesh more opportunity to undermine their calling.

-Davide

Well said I completely agree.

The primary question about when to enter focuses on maturity - you can call that "finding yourself" or you can call it "knowing your own mind." Maturity is related to age, but not always in direct proportion.

Modern American society has extended childhood, and that's a trend that has been occurring for decades. A person is not usually ready to live fully on her/his own until at least 22 years of age - I mean, some people do so before that, but they may not be truly functional and independent. An independent/functional/mature person in modern society can select and pay for her/his own car, apply for a loan, pay her/his rent & bills, live within a budget, keep up with current events, vote informedly, file taxes, earn her/his own living, keep up with her/his family & social obligations, and a host of other things. Some people - even married couples - remain dependent on their parents in one way or another well into their thirties. Religious life - whether cloistered or active - requires most of the same skills as independent living, since religious institutions are situated within American (or another) culture.

The saints of centuries ago - the Catherine of Sienas and the Teresa of Avilas - came from very different societies. By the time they were fifteen, they had seen babies born in their own homes, grandparents and siblings die in their own homes, education was non-existent or perhaps minimal. The children of Fatima had real responsibilities at quite young ages - tending sheep was a way of generating food/money for the family; they had more responsibility than most children in modern industrialized societies, although children in developing countries probably still fit that older mold. Maybe that's one reason more vocations are coming in the developing countries.

At any rate, a person who knows her/his own mind and has developed the skills to live independently in her/his society - of whatever age - is probably ready for religious life.

Also, not accepting candidates until they shows signs of responsibilty & maturity is better for the congregations in the long run. If a candidate has seen the world, developed some skills, faced some temptations, knows her/his options, and then still decides to join an order, the commitment to the order will be stronger because it is a free donation of self rather than a decision based on idealized or unrealistic expectations.

That's a very insightful point. I have to chew on it for a little while

I'm a PR person for my university (as a student job) and I always tell people to move into student housing because of the enormous educational value of waking up without anything edible in your house. There's something intangible about being "on your own" that I think would be hard to emulate within the convent for most people. (But as others rightly mentioned above, not for everyone - some can grow up in there if they're called to it.)

Certain people in my life are concerned, not that I'm not mature enough (I've been living on my own for five years and was a treasurer for a 70.000 euro project, gulp), but that I haven't had the time to "explore all my options". That, I think, is not the best reason to delay, although there is a small amount of truth in it.

I have to disagree with the thought that If this were ever a concern to a religious, I think - regardless of age upon entering the convent - it could be a sign that one is not quite detached enough from worldly things to devote oneself totally to religious life. Part of the beauty of young vocations is "giving the first-fruits" to God in complete [human] confidence that, "Yes, this is what I believe He is asking of me." Religious life is always begun with a major leap of faith, and being mere humans, we are prone to making mistakes in our discernment of God's will for our lives. I know many sisters who have entered straight out of high school and have professed or will profess vows soon, and know of very few who have done so and then left the convent. Now that I think about it, a main point to consider is the community's application process and how thorough the vocations director is in talking with each applicant about her [or his, if speaking of the men's side of things ] vocation. While I agree with the comment about how early entrance into convents seemed to be the trend years ago, I feel that, if anything, the trend today in religious life seems to be the very opposite; any "trend" in "excess" is not good, and I believe that age difference adds some variety and spontaneity to religious communities. While the older religious bring wisdom, the younger religious bring much vitality and energy. I think it is just a matter of truly discerning God's call, and if we humans could do that perfectly, there would be a happy medium of young and old vocations.

Agree with the two-year wait. The practice comes from experience.

A generation ago, anyone NOT entering directly from high school was considered a "late" vocation, but the world has changed in a generation. Holding a job, paying bills, and really considering options bears fruit later on. Not doing so, as well as adding to delayed maturity, can lead to heaps of temptations and what-if's later on.

I may also risk a blasting for this, but a wise priest once told us that he would even be concerned about the candidate who had not had at least an adolescent romance and its breakup. The experience, painful as it is at the time, is a deterrent to what he described as the green-grass syndrome after a few years of religious life. You don't need to have any illusions about what it would be like, because you already know, and have opted for something different with clear knowledge.

You won't get one from me, because a certain sister told me exactly the same. I was in the preliminary stages of discernment and asked her whether I should date This Guy, and she said "definitely yes". Because unless you're the lucky 1%, there'll come a time of doubt, and this way you can tell yourself that you've tried the other option and it didn't work out.

(I'm double lucky because said "this guy" is now the one who puts me on the plane, whining not allowed, when I'm due for a convent visit but want to chicken out. I understand this isn't the rule )

I'm wondering if any of the people responding to this post are actually sisters speaking from experience. (?)

I agree with the person who said it depends on the maturity of the person. Some are ready to enter right out of high school, and some are not. I entered at 17 and never looked back. No "green grass" syndrome here! But that was 30 years ago, and I came from a family where I was allowed to face responsibility. No sheltering or babying at our house! We were immigrants. My father earned little more than minimum wage - mom babysat and took in laundry so she could stay home with us. As each of us became old enough to earn a little money, we contributed to the family expenses. So, by the time I was 17, I did have the experience of working and paying bills - albeit small bills...

I thank God that I went through the novitiate first, and then went to college.

Now a word about religious communities. Some are absolutely archaic in the way they govern the community, with only the superiors making decisions and the rest of the sisters treated like children. It seems to be a result of being isolated from other experiences and only knowing how things are done in one's own community. Others are completely on the other end of the spectrum, and begin forming responsibility and maturity right from the beginning. I've been blessed with the opportunity of spending time living with other communities during the course of my studies, so I've been able to witness this first hand. Now that communities are collaborating more and are not so isolated (partly because of the Internet and other forms of communication) they are learning from each other.

A vocation is a committment, and a serious one - just like marriage. And no one can predict at what age another person can, will, or should fall in love. As for me, I felt called at a very young age - probably about 7. As I grew up, the call was always there - although I was open to dating and marriage, and prayed about it. I had my little crushes on this boy or that one, but my real love was already there - already deeply planted - and eventually, even though a few showed some real interest in persuing a relationship, the vocation won out. I finished high school in June and was in the convent by August. Looking back, I can see that I wasn't as mature at 17 as I thought I was, but I'm glad that I finished growing up where I did - surrounded by holy women completely in love with Jesus, and thoroughly dedicated to serving His church. The oldest sisters were the greatest examples, and I'm sure that some of them were true saints. Those who were the most obedient and lived the rule were the happiest, and those who struggled with obedience and cut corners on observing the rule settled into a mediocrity that is nothing short of heartbreaking.

I think it would be great if every Catholic young lady spent a year or two in a religious community and experienced first hand what they were giving up in order to get married, but all we seem to hear about is the reverse - that it is not possible to give your life to God unless you've experienced romance. When I was in the novitiate, we young sisters would often say that if our friends "on the outside" knew what they were missing, they would be lined up at the door!

YES! Well said--I'm with you on all of these above. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.

As for myself (I will try for a brief version), I was blessed to spend a good number of years in a religious community. My life in this particular community was abruptly end. Of course, my heart was broken into pieces. I went through what St John of the Cross would say "Darknight of the soul" for a couple year. I couldn't find God in my life. I lived like an atheist. Until the wildfires hit Southern California last October--where I'm currently resident, I was on my way home one evening from the Wildfire shelter where I was a volunteer for more than 10 hours shift. As my tire body was longing for a nice hot shower and a bed to lie down, my eyes catched the tittle "On My Way Home" production by Paula D'arcy on sidewalk at the traffic light. It felt like someone pulling me toward that direction. So, I went to see it and attended "An Invitation to Dance" weekend retreat the following morning. For the first time since what happened, I was able to open and to listen to God's calling my name. Lots were going spiritually for me at the retreat. All I can say now was/is His grace and my life is a beautiful continues magnificat to "God who loves and died for me".
So, I would say that it is worthy to give your young or mature life to God in a religious life. God just want your "yes" and he'll do the rest whether it's just a thought, one year, two years, three years, or forever. Just remember even though your heart may be broken or crush to the ground by your not so Godly-motives or others, His love is still there and He is much bigger than all. My broken heart has taught me how to love more like Him and I came to know where my heart is and what I trully desire. If I have an other chance, 'yes' I would do it all over again in a slipt second; my answer also would be 'yes' to the community where I was before.
Have the courage to taste His sweetness in the religious community and you'll be hungry for more
United in Jesus, the HOST!

AMEN!!!

I was listening to my parish priest speak to the young boys at a vocations talk and he said, "Why not give God the first chance? There's no harm, nothing to loose, by going into the seminary. If that's not where God wants you, he'll let you know! And if that's not your call, you'll certainly come out of the seminary better prepared to be a husband and an evangelist in the world. So why not give God the first chance? Surely he deserves at least that much?"

I just read the original post and alicemary's... so forgive me if I repeat what anyone else has said. I can tell you what has happened in my community.

There are some who entered right after high school. Some does not regret the decision and feels that it was right for them. The others sometimes wonder if it was the right decision. Both feel like not having the college experience of classes, the exposure to the wider world of thought, and the social scene (the Catholic one... not the frat one) has left them behind those who have entered after college, or at least some college. I can attest that from my own working experience and learning how to deal with professors, bosses, and coworkers in a secular environment GREATLY helps me NOW in the convent. Greatly. I do not think I would have made it without that experience. Everything which Alicemary said is very true... it is better, if you can, in this day and age with the way that emotional/psychological maturity is happening later in our culture, to get some life experience before entering religious life. Unless the call is really pushing you to go NOW (and I would seriously discern that, because it appears to be pretty rare nowadays), you have nothing to lose.

I agree with most of RisingSun's post, but I would point out that entering religious life does not fully severe you from "the world, the flesh, and the devil". If anything it makes it all more immediate and you realize more fully how touched you are by it all... it is a humbling experience. You can "flee" the world, but the world will always be with you because you are a part of it. You will have the flesh until the day you die... and the devil.... well, he has a job he is trying to do, so do not think wearing a polyester outfit will give you immunity. If anything, it intensifies.

I do not think that anyone can give a simple answer to your question It totally depends upon a person's temperament, family situation, whether or not they can afford college off the bat and not end up delaying their entrance some 5+ years because of student loans. Everyone is different, every call is unique. Listening to the way the Spirit speaks to us through our family, friends, and guides... as well as in the depths of our hearts is important. It is not an easy decision. Dialoguing with the prospective Order about it is also a good idea because they have a lot of experience with discernment and what would fit in their Congregation... so that can help, as well. Discernment is not easy.... but the gift of the Spirit is beautiful to reflect upon.

At least this one poster is a sister speaking from experience - and one very similar to FSM's : immigrant family, vocation early on, working at 17, graduated in June and paid my own way to enter in August. Without the job, the bills, and the boyfriend or two along the way, looking back could have had lots of room for illusions. As it was, I knew that "back there" was not where I belonged. Age might not have a lot to do with it, but life experience does.
And experience, generally, comes from a year or two of living.

Three cheers for suggesting that every Catholic young lady experience religious life before opting for something else. The current shortage of consecrated vocations could well reverse itself in very short order!

As a very wise priest recently told me, to delay doing the Lord's will for our own reasons is simply disobedience.

I think primarily there must be a distinction made between delaying entrance and taking the time that you need to discern and grow up. Like everything else in discernment, when you enter is not a one size fits all situation. For a few, and I really believe a rare few, they may be called to enter right out of high school. My cousin, and one of my best friends, is one such situation. She knew where she was called, and she entered the October after she graduated high school. I think for many, however, the zeal and the desire to serve God with everything is there, but the maturity is lacking.
Other people just aren't ready to enter, even when they "know" where they want to go. This often manifests itself in a "I have to/want to do such-and-such first" attitude. For me, it was a "I want to go to college first and see a bit of the world, and then I'll enter" (of course, I also didn't know where I would enter at...) Sometimes, I feared that I had disobeyed God in making this choice. However, as I've grown, I've realized that while I thought I was just doing what I wanted, I was also doing God's will too. I needed more time to grow up, to experience the world, to begin to understand others more, so that I could also understand myself. I am a COMPLETELY different person than I was four years ago. I think differently, interact with others differently, pray differently, relate to God differently, see myself differently. My zeal is not manifested in the same way, my love- and my ability to love- has grown and transformed as well. Sure, I've had difficult times and have made mistakes; that would happen anywhere.
I've heard people say "We must give God the first-fruits" "we must give God our first choice" and I've heard people imply that waiting- giving yourself time to grow up- is refusing to offer your full self to God. For me, entering earlier would have not been offering my full self to God, my full life to God, because I still needed time to grow, time to become a more developed person. Because of my experiences, I have more to give God.
In short, each soul, each situation is different. But, in my own opinion, I think that it's not fair of some to make a blanket statement that to not enter a convent the second you suspect you may be called is disobedient to the will of God. Discernment takes time, for some, its more time than others. A good spiritual director will help discern this.