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Kissing Before Marriage


Tridenteen

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JMJ
This man I was babysitting for has strong feelings towards kissing. I don't kiss, haven't kissed anyone who is not a family member or friend, outside of air kissing. That being said, is kissing before marriage a sin? French kissing possibly arouses impure thoughts, and subsequent actions, but is it still a mortal sin? Kissing your beau on the lips good night, kissing on the cheek, etc, is that considered a sin in the eyes of the Church? If so, would you be so kind as to cite your references, and explain as to whether or not it is in Canon Law. Thank you [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/blowkiss.gif[/img]

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Thy Geekdom Come

[quote name='Tridenteen' date='08 March 2010 - 11:38 PM' timestamp='1268109493' post='2069377']
JMJ
This man I was babysitting for has strong feelings towards kissing. I don't kiss, haven't kissed anyone who is not a family member or friend, outside of air kissing. That being said, is kissing before marriage a sin? French kissing possibly arouses impure thoughts, and subsequent actions, but is it still a mortal sin? Kissing your beau on the lips good night, kissing on the cheek, etc, is that considered a sin in the eyes of the Church? If so, would you be so kind as to cite your references, and explain as to whether or not it is in Canon Law. Thank you [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/blowkiss.gif[/img]
[/quote]
I'm afraid I can't think of any text that says kissing is not a sin, but I would attribute that more to the fact that the Church has more pressing concerns to tackle (and I don't mean that to belittle your own question, it's just not a major one). There have probably been saints who said you shouldn't kiss before marriage (as I understand it, St. John Vianney was even against dancing, even ballroom), but there would probably be other saints who said they were a bit silly. Not everything a saint says has to be correct and sometimes they are affected by their culture in a negative way without meaning to be and can have an excessively strong reaction to it.

I can assure you that kissing is not dealt with in the Code of Canon Law or the Catechism of the Catholic Church (or, to my knowledge, any catechism). This issue is not specifically mentioned in the Bible.

I think it's much more important to consider where both people are coming from, their intentions, and the kiss itself. A kiss on the cheek is not only tame, it's been considered a sign of peace and welcome since the early Church. A kiss on the lips indicates something more romantic, but if it's pure and not lingering for passion or anything (make it quick, keep it simple), I don't see the harm in it. Even a few kisses in a row I think are fine, if it's pure. Be sure that it's not an occasion of sin for either person.

French kissing is a different story. As a married man who did that when he was a teenager, I can tell you that it is very sexually suggestive and really should be reserved for marriage. It tends to arouse men very quickly and lead to very passionate desires a man may not find easy to control.

I'm going to tell you what Jason Evert tells the youth he speaks to: if you have to ask where the line is or how close you can get to it, step back. No one takes the person they love in their arms and carries them to the edge of a cliff asking how close they can get. The only way to answer the question is hindsight after you've fallen off the cliff, so just don't go there if you feel it's anywhere near the edge.

God bless,

Micah

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Thy Geekdom Come

Wanted to add that while chaste kissing before marriage is not immoral, it's still a commendable sacrifice and well worth it to save kissing for marriage.

My wife and I agreed not to kiss in church until our wedding. Then we accidentally goofed it up one Sunday at the sign of peace, lol.

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