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What Happens When Nuns/sisters Leave The Order?

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FancyPantsMcGovern

What do you tell someone who had a bad experience leaving religious life?

11 minutes ago, FancyPantsMcGovern said:

What do you tell someone who had a bad experience leaving religious life?

 

oops

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vee
19 hours ago, FancyPantsMcGovern said:

What do you tell someone who had a bad experience leaving religious life?

 

Don't tell them what to do with their life!  "Why don't you go back to school?"  "What would you like to do?"  "Why don't you do such and such a job?"  Don't say any of these things!   

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Francis Clare

You just need to be with them as they  journey through and process the many emotions that are going through ....to walk with them as they figure out their next steps, grieve (most commonly), and deal with their own personal feelings, etc.  As a SD I can tell you that most whatever you say will be taken the wrong way.  Just let your friend know that you will be there for her in whatever capacity she needs you to be.  That you will be available to her when/if/how she needs you without overlaying your need to be helpful, compassionate, wise, etc.  Most women who have left or who have been asked to leave desperately need their "space" to process and "own" their feelings,  and that can present itself in a variety of ways.  Often when saying the "wrong" or inappropriate thing, you can exacerbate their emotional stress -- and I won't go into what that might be as they differ from woman to woman.  Just be present.......and pray for them......not your will, not their will, but His will be done.

Edited by Francis Clare

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FancyPantsMcGovern

Okay, thanks. Just from stuff she's said, I never knew things like that happened. She was forced to leave even though they told her she did nothing wrong. I mean, she's bald because she just shaved her head.  I think its' really hard so I'm trying not to pry. I don't think I want to be a nun but if I did I would have to think twice now.  

I don't know what her plans are for the future, or if she has any yet.

Edited by FancyPantsMcGovern
forgot something

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dominicansoul
13 hours ago, vee said:

Don't tell them what to do with their life!  "Why don't you go back to school?"  "What would you like to do?"  "Why don't you do such and such a job?"  Don't say any of these things!   

Get a job already 

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AveMariaPurissima
On 8/22/2017 at 4:15 PM, FancyPantsMcGovern said:

What do you tell someone who had a bad experience leaving religious life?

 

 

I would also make sure she's aware of Leonie's Longing, a wonderful apostolate that assists women who have left religious life. They've been a huge help to me in the time since I left the convent. I've met lots of great people, and it has helped me so much to know I'm not alone in my experiences, feelings, etc. :heart:

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FancyPantsMcGovern

I never knew that so many people left religious life after becoming nuns.

I will give her the link to Leonie's Longings. I looked at it and I thought it was good that they have a letter from their bishop. 

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kjw

I was hoping someone in this community may be able to help.  

I started 1st grade at St. Anthony grade school in 1963 in the same year a Monsignor Mead finished our new church in Missoula.   Somewhere around 4th or 5th grade is where my memories of a Sr. Veronica BVM, start.   Within the next few years she would change her name to Sr. Teresa Joy BVM.  She and Mr. Hodge, the only male teacher at the school to that date I know of, were our 7th grade teachers.  We would like to invite Sister to a reunion which he has expressed interest in coming to.  Our problem ... she left the order years later and well ... where does one start?  I have heared she married and continued to teach in the state of Washington.   

A Bride of Christ leaves some heart breaking stories, but a bunch of adults with grateful life stories built on the foundation of the kindness and tough love of our Nuns, with the discipline to be there for us every day, year after year... we just want to find her and hear her stories and say thanks.  To all of you for setting our lives off to a good start.

Any help from any of you would be greatly appreciated.  kj

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Francis Clare

Is this the right Phorum for this post?  Would it get more exposure or perhaps a “lead” in one of the other locations on Phatmass?

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Luigi
10 hours ago, kjw said:

I was hoping someone in this community may be able to help.  

I started 1st grade at St. Anthony grade school in 1963 in the same year a Monsignor Mead finished our new church in Missoula.   Somewhere around 4th or 5th grade is where my memories of a Sr. Veronica BVM, start.   Within the next few years she would change her name to Sr. Teresa Joy BVM.  She and Mr. Hodge, the only male teacher at the school to that date I know of, were our 7th grade teachers.  We would like to invite Sister to a reunion which he has expressed interest in coming to.  Our problem ... she left the order years later and well ... where does one start?  I have heared she married and continued to teach in the state of Washington.   

A Bride of Christ leaves some heart breaking stories, but a bunch of adults with grateful life stories built on the foundation of the kindness and tough love of our Nuns, with the discipline to be there for us every day, year after year... we just want to find her and hear her stories and say thanks.  To all of you for setting our lives off to a good start.

Any help from any of you would be greatly appreciated.  kj

Contact the BVM provincial office. They often stay in touch with their former sisters, and even have their own entering-class reunions. After all, even if one or some have left the order, they were still friends - often close friends - for a number of years.

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kjw

 

On 11/1/2017 at 7:07 PM, Francis Clare said:

Is this the right Phorum for this post?  Would it get more exposure or perhaps a “lead” in one of the other locations on Phatmass?

As you see I am new here and do not understand your question.  My ignorance of this site map hopefully does not interfere with my ability to get help in a heartfelt quest.  

Could you please fully explain your need to place lead in quotes "lead" because this has a highly personal significance to me and I truly do not understand why you isolated this or felt the need to do so.  What am I missing  that perhaps others at this site would understand?

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Francis Clare

I simply meant that you might have more success in getting information. ( a lead) in the prayer request or open mic portions of Phatmass.  My intent was to see how you could get the most exposure to your query.

This particular thread has been focused on how/ what/ why/ how to interact and possibly help those women we know who have left religious life and returned to the world for a variety of reasons.  

Hope that helps.

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