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IgnatiusofLoyola

What Happens When Nuns/sisters Leave The Order?

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FancyPantsMcGovern    21
FancyPantsMcGovern

What do you tell someone who had a bad experience leaving religious life?

11 minutes ago, FancyPantsMcGovern said:

What do you tell someone who had a bad experience leaving religious life?

 

oops

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vee    4,728
vee
19 hours ago, FancyPantsMcGovern said:

What do you tell someone who had a bad experience leaving religious life?

 

Don't tell them what to do with their life!  "Why don't you go back to school?"  "What would you like to do?"  "Why don't you do such and such a job?"  Don't say any of these things!   

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Francis Clare    630
Francis Clare

You just need to be with them as they  journey through and process the many emotions that are going through ....to walk with them as they figure out their next steps, grieve (most commonly), and deal with their own personal feelings, etc.  As a SD I can tell you that most whatever you say will be taken the wrong way.  Just let your friend know that you will be there for her in whatever capacity she needs you to be.  That you will be available to her when/if/how she needs you without overlaying your need to be helpful, compassionate, wise, etc.  Most women who have left or who have been asked to leave desperately need their "space" to process and "own" their feelings,  and that can present itself in a variety of ways.  Often when saying the "wrong" or inappropriate thing, you can exacerbate their emotional stress -- and I won't go into what that might be as they differ from woman to woman.  Just be present.......and pray for them......not your will, not their will, but His will be done.

Edited by Francis Clare

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FancyPantsMcGovern    21
FancyPantsMcGovern

Okay, thanks. Just from stuff she's said, I never knew things like that happened. She was forced to leave even though they told her she did nothing wrong. I mean, she's bald because she just shaved her head.  I think its' really hard so I'm trying not to pry. I don't think I want to be a nun but if I did I would have to think twice now.  

I don't know what her plans are for the future, or if she has any yet.

Edited by FancyPantsMcGovern
forgot something

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dominicansoul    4,458
dominicansoul
13 hours ago, vee said:

Don't tell them what to do with their life!  "Why don't you go back to school?"  "What would you like to do?"  "Why don't you do such and such a job?"  Don't say any of these things!   

Get a job already 

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AveMariaPurissima    901
AveMariaPurissima
On 8/22/2017 at 4:15 PM, FancyPantsMcGovern said:

What do you tell someone who had a bad experience leaving religious life?

 

 

I would also make sure she's aware of Leonie's Longing, a wonderful apostolate that assists women who have left religious life. They've been a huge help to me in the time since I left the convent. I've met lots of great people, and it has helped me so much to know I'm not alone in my experiences, feelings, etc. :heart:

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FancyPantsMcGovern    21
FancyPantsMcGovern

I never knew that so many people left religious life after becoming nuns.

I will give her the link to Leonie's Longings. I looked at it and I thought it was good that they have a letter from their bishop. 

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