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IgnatiusofLoyola

Ten Things For An Aspirant Not To Say

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IgnatiusofLoyola
I've never been in religious life, but after many years in the corporate world, I learned there were certain things that an job candidate can say that are a "kiss of death" for getting the job. I imagine there are similar "no-no's" for aspirants in an interview with the Vocation Director. In a whimsical mood, and as an aid to anyone here who may be aspiring to the religious life, here are some of my suggestions of questions to avoid. Feel free to add your own "no-no's."

1. I really want to join your Order because, of all the Orders I've seen, I like your habit the best. I'd look really awesome and holy.

2. I'm in college and I find it hard to get up even for my 10:00 am classes. 5:00 am is really early to get up--no one gets up at 5:00 am nowadays, except maybe farmers. Could I get up at 9:00 am, and make up the time later?

3. Since you're a teaching order, does that mean I'm only a Sister during the week, and I can see boys and stuff on weekends?

4. It seems like you guys pray a lot. Since some of the prayers, like the Rosary, say the same thing over and over, I have some ideas of ways you could pray more efficiently and have more time for other things.

5. Do I have to work toward perpetual vows, or could I, like, stay a "perpetual novice?" I think black veils are kind of depressing and I want to keep my options open while I'm still young.

6. I really like all the young women in the Order, but it's sort of a downer to see so many "old lady" nuns. Why aren't they in a retirement home or something?

7. Do I really have to give up boys before I take my final vows? I mean, I'd use birth control and everything, so it would be safe.

8. Can I redecorate my cell in brighter colors to match my personality?

9. Since you keep silence most of the time, I could still listen to my Ipod, right?

10. Can I keep my subscription to Bride's magazine, so I can pick out a totally awesome wedding gown to wear for my robing as a novice?

I'm sure the rest of you have some ideas and may even have heard some stranger questions in real life.

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Tridenteen
JMJ
Do I really have to be bald under my veil?
Do I really not get to use my cell phone?
Can't I wear a Rosary with beads to match my personality?

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Maggyie
[quote]I really want to join your Order because, of all the Orders I've seen, I like your habit the best. I'd look really awesome and holy[/quote]

This is one I wouldn't be surprised some vocation directors have actually heard! :ohno:

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Cherie
[quote name='Maggie' date='13 April 2010 - 06:30 PM' timestamp='1271197813' post='2092758']
This is one I wouldn't be surprised some vocation directors have actually heard! :ohno:
[/quote]

Haha, Maggie I was going to comment on that, too!

While I definitely think all religious should wear habits, I can't tell you how often I've met people discerning who base their choice of a religious community almost SOLELY on what their habit looks like.

Habits are lovely and beautiful, and I'm sure God uses them to attract a person to a religious vocation ... but, I can't help thinking there would be a problem with someone who bases their final choice between two communities on "whose habit is prettier" :unsure:

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IgnatiusofLoyola
[quote name='Tridenteen' date='13 April 2010 - 05:23 PM' timestamp='1271197389' post='2092755']
JMJ
Do I really have to be bald under my veil?
Do I really not get to use my cell phone?
Can't I wear a Rosary with beads to match my personality?
[/quote]

I didn't even know that there WERE Rosaries with beads to match your personality. I know there are many different styles of Rosaries, and a person might choose to use a particular Rosary because they think it is attractive. I've seen Rosaries with slightly larger beads for people with arthritic hands. But, a Rosary to match your personality? Do people really think that?

What will we have next--Myers-Briggs Rosaries? "Are you an INFP? This is the right Rosary for you." Edited by IgnatiusofLoyola

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OnlySunshine
I've actually heard a young woman ask if she could trade cells because the Sisters had different rooms with different holy cards. She wanted to make sure she got the ones she liked. When the Superior said "no" she asked if she could bring ones from home when she entered. They were very strict with what you could bring when you entered. With these questions and others, she was asked not to return. :unsure: Edited by MaterMisericordiae

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DiscerningSoul
"I 'want' to be a nun so I don't have to work."
I really heard that from someone when I was starting to discern, they were like I don't like to have to pay the electric bill.

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OnlySunshine
I don't like your shower/bath schedule. Can I take showers/baths whenever I want?

Can I leave the convent when I get bored?

Tights/stockings are too constrictive. Do I have to wear them?

Why is your habit (enter color here)? You should make it (color) instead!

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IgnatiusofLoyola
[quote name='Indwelling Trinity' date='13 April 2010 - 07:42 PM' timestamp='1271205767' post='2092848']
I actually know of one aspirant who asked... " given my abilities and skills what do you think your order has to offer me that would make make me want to choose you over others?"

The Prioresses terse reply.... "Jesus and Him Crucified." [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/shock.gif[/img]
[/quote]

Oh my. Having some work experience is one thing, but I think that aspirant may have been in the corporate world too long--as an interviewer. While there may be some parallels between corporate life and the religious life, there are also some very important differences.

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CatherineM
The younger brother of one of my husband's friends has been turned down repeatedly for seminary because he has said he would never give absolution in the confessional to someone who had an abortion.

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OnlySunshine
Do the Sisters get vacation time?

Could I go to the beach if I want to?

I can't use the community bathroom because I'm shy. Can I get my own bathroom?

:blink:

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Tridenteen
[quote name='IgnatiusofLoyola' date='13 April 2010 - 05:54 PM' timestamp='1271199280' post='2092774']
I didn't even know that there WERE Rosaries with beads to match your personality. I know there are many different styles of Rosaries, and a person might choose to use a particular Rosary because they think it is attractive. I've seen Rosaries with slightly larger beads for people with arthritic hands. But, a Rosary to match your personality? Do people really think that?

What will we have next--Myers-Briggs Rosaries? "Are you an INFP? This is the right Rosary for you."
[/quote]


JMJ
"Reverend Mother, I know the order's rule specifies a black 15 decade rosary, but that it so, unme. I am a bubbly person. Couldn't I wear a hot pink bead 7 decade Franciscan Crown? It matches my tempermant and my cheeks!"

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cmaD2006
You know, my goal in life is to become Mother General .... do you think that will be possible, say, in the next 2 years?
Vow of poverty, so that means I can still have a little cash stashed away for personal use, right?
So, what would happen if I (and I really am being hypothetical, I'd never do this but ...) decided to punch out one of the sisters who really gets on my nerves?

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Tridenteen
JMJ
What do you mean cigarettes are a luxury?
I always wear Ralph Lauren's Sexy wonder perfume, why ca't I bring it with me?
No lipstick, I feel naked without it?!?!?!

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