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The Chastity Thread

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Stories that will help, websites, books.

General talk about chastity whether abstaining in a marriage or simple avoiding lustful thought and actions outside of a relationship.

I feel as if the media has disorted sexuality so much it's hard to see the lines between sin and everyday sexuality.

(If this thread is wanted, post away.)

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Jason Evert has written some good stuff on the subject. Look up Chastity.com

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in ^

just a general observation on chastity. I dont even talk to girls at school anymore cause I know they're not into chastity. Its a bit discouraging. Theres a girl I see on my way home from university everyday, and she looks at me like when are you going to talk to me already. Hopefully the young adult group at school and at my new parish has some people about my age. when you make a decision like sticking to chastity, its helpful to have people around on the same level. and typically when Im in a really good place spiritually I forget about trying to be chaste or any other bad habits.

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JMJ
eyes of Modesty----->that's the way to go!

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I found saying the Purity Prayer very helpful.

[quote]Jesus, Lover of chastity, Mary, Mother most pure, and Joseph, chaste guardian of the Virgin, to you I come at this hour, begging you to plead with God for me.I earnestly wish to be pure in thought, word and deed in imitation of your own holy purity.Obtain for me, then, a deep sense of modesty which will be reflected in my external conduct.Protect my eyes, the windows of my soul, from anything that might dim the luster of a heart that must mirror only Christlike purity.And when the "Bread of Angels becomes the Bread of me" in my heart at Holy Communion, seal it forever against the suggestions of sinful pleasures.Heart of Jesus, Fount of all purity, have mercy on us.Visit Catholic Prayers to see collection of inspiring prayers. Click here.[/quote]

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[quote name='Micah' timestamp='1285026677' post='2174954']
in ^

just a general observation on chastity. I dont even talk to girls at school anymore cause I know they're not into chastity. Its a bit discouraging. Theres a girl I see on my way home from university everyday, and she looks at me like when are you going to talk to me already. Hopefully the young adult group at school and at my new parish has some people about my age. when you make a decision like sticking to chastity, its helpful to have people around on the same level. and typically when Im in a really good place spiritually I forget about trying to be chaste or any other bad habits.
[/quote]

Jesus ate with sinners, citing that the ill are in need of the physician. Don't you think that your morality might be an influencing factor on people you associate with? I'm pretty sure that young people like to appear experienced and worldly, but secretly many a young persons dream is to meet someone with high moral calibre.

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[quote name='Mark of the Cross' timestamp='1285028717' post='2174962']
Jesus ate with sinners, citing that the ill are in need of the physician. Don't you think that your morality might be an influencing factor on people you associate with? I'm pretty sure that young people like to appear experienced and worldly, but secretly many a young persons dream is to meet someone with high moral calibre.
[/quote]

mmmmmmaybe

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[quote name='Mark of the Cross' timestamp='1285028717' post='2174962']
Jesus ate with sinners, citing that the ill are in need of the physician. Don't you think that your morality might be an influencing factor on people you associate with? I'm pretty sure that young people like to appear experienced and worldly, but secretly many a young persons dream is to meet someone with high moral calibre.
[/quote]

Yes, we can influence people by our own witnessing. At the same time though, it can be hard to live a an upright life when you're surrounded by people doing the exact opposite. I know from experience that that can be tough. Some are especially vulnerable in this area and it would be best for them to not be around people like that so much and to pray for their conversion. Having fellowship with people with the same beliefs is really helpful.
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I recently read this really neat booklet called [i]Clean Love in Courtship[/i]. I was planning to buy it from TAN books until I discovered that it was available for free online. It has some wonderful guidelines to use when trying to remain chaste before marriage. I learned a great deal and I think it will come in handy while I'm discerning married life. Edited by MaterMisericordiae

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I've got to repost my post from the raising kids forum... :)



Here's my post from: [color="#b4453b"][url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=107889&st=0&p=2164055&#entry2164055"]http://www.phatmass....5[/url][url="http://www.phatmass....5"][/color][/url]

This was a post directed at Dust about his daughter going into high school.


Personally, I think it would be very wise to get her into some kind of Catholic group, all girl preferably.

Also, with all the sexual things that go on out there, it is very important for Catholic teens to better know about Chastity. It affects everything -- how they dress, think, speak, dance, movies and music, relations with opposite gender, etc. What had a tremendous effect on me was everything by Jason & Crystalina Everett.

They have fantastic websites, books, TV shows, seminars, etc.

[color="#b4453b"][url="http://www.chastity.com/"][url="http://www.chastity.com/"]http://www.chastity.com/[/url][/color][/url] (Formerly PureLoveClub.com)
[color="#b4453b"][url="http://www.pureloveclub.org/"][url="http://www.pureloveclub.org/"]http://www.pureloveclub.org/[/url][/color] [/url]

I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris
[color="#b4453b"][url="http://www.joshharris.com/i_kissed_dating_goodbye.php"][url="http://www.joshharris.com/i_kissed_dating_goodbye.php"]http://www.joshharri...ing_goodbye.php[/url][/color]


It also helped me to learn about "courtship" for marriage, and that "secular dating" is just playing around. And to be open to the various vocations as you don't know yet what God may be calling you to. There was a Catholic couple I read about (page 57 of the book above) that actually waited until their wedding day to share their first kiss! Beautiful.
[/url]

In general, there are so many temptations against the faith in high school. Whatever can help her focus on the virtues would be wonderful. Such as Saint videos ([url="http://www.bobandpen...uper_saints.htm/"][color="#b4453b"][/url]Super Saints: [color="#000000"][url="http://www.bobandpennylord.com/ssaints.htm"]http://www.bobandpen...com/ssaints.htm[/url][/color][/color] ) and books on the lives of the Saints. Reading material true to the Faith.

Even if your daughter isn't open to these things at first, just leave them out in the open and she ought to eventually check them out.


-------------------------------------------------

I especially recommend the Chastity.com website. It's fantastic. :) Edited by JoyfulLife

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[quote name='tinytherese' timestamp='1285045121' post='2175024']
Yes, we can influence people by our own witnessing. At the same time though, it can be hard to live a an upright life when you're surrounded by people doing the exact opposite. I know from experience that that can be tough. Some are especially vulnerable in this area and it would be best for them to not be around people like that so much and to pray for their conversion. [b]Having fellowship with people with the same beliefs is really helpful.[/b]
[/quote]

That is good also, but in the 'Stations of the Cross', Jesus encourages us to follow his example and be 'his other self.' That is, we not only influence others by our good deeds or chastity, but also by our failings and suffering. As a young person I spent time in the military. I hated it! The people I associated with had generally low morals. Some were downright evil and I despised them. For some unknown reason people saw something in me. It was not uncommon for troubled souls to get intoxicated and then wind up with me, telling me all there troubles and even confessing to me. I don't know why that was, because at that stage I believed in God and that was all. Maybe because I was soft and couldn't tell them not to bother me, I dunno! In more recent years I have become more and more involved in the Church. I often wondered if people thought that I was just a freak looking for praise and glory. After my escapades in East Timor and my stories, I went to our Catholic College to get some work experience in IT. People seemed to have put me on a pedestal, being careful with the usual sexual inuendo jokes. I smiled to myself, if only you knew, you may even be more Holy than I. Last year when Anxiety and depression brought me to my knees and people saw that I was struggling with an awesome cross their attitude seemed to change. One lady said. "It is obvious that you love your God." Another said whenever she sees me she thinks to herself. "Here comes God!" I was surprised and said. "But I'm just an ordinary person. As far as saintly people go, I'm well down on the list near the bottom. She replied. "But that's why. It is your humbleness and humility." In religion we lead people not by being above them but by being by their side or even beneath them just being human, but having an unbreakable bond with Jesus. I don't think that I was influenced by mixing with 'bad' people. My faults and failings are my own, but I'm what God wants me to be.

My daughter is a nurse in oncology and can't come to terms with religion seeing so much suffering of good and gentle people and all the hypocritical behaviour of some supposed religious people. Here is an excerpt from an email I sent recently.

[quote]I saw sister Jeanette today. She told me that sister Kathleen is stable but > that her stroke was moderate to severe. She also told me that when she > collapsed there was a doctor walking past who was able to give immediate > assistance which apparently is important in these things and will help in > her recovery. Because of this I'm pretty sure that God has plans for her and > she will recover. Remember how when I cut my hand and missed the artery and > nerves and sinews. I told everyone that God still has something in mind for > me to do with that hand. Even the Bishop said he didn't know and couldn't > help. But I think it's a bit like our conversation. I got sloppy and > careless and that's why I cut my hand. If all religious people had a good > life and never suffered. What would happen? > On Phatmass they told me that evil is not an entity, it is analogous to > light and darkness. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of light. I > conclude that we shouldn't be attacking the darkness, we should be making > light. 'The light will overcome the darkness'. Norelle you can't see Jesus > because you are looking the wrong way. He's not out there, he's in you! When > I made the joke about 'having a nice day watching people die'. I crossed the > line! It's not funny. When you offer love to a dying person and you > willingly leave yourself vulnerable to being hurt when they pass on. > Unknowingly to you, you are letting them see Jesus in you! What I really > should have asked Norelle is 'How many souls have you saved today and sent > to heaven! Sorry for the tears I'm crying at my own writing. > Dad > [/quote]

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Mark, I've never seen you post so deeply before. What an amazing post. :)

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[quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1285117056' post='2175199']
Mark, I've never seen you post so deeply before. What an amazing post. :)
[/quote]

You might like my [url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=100165&st=0&p=1995813&fromsearch=1&#entry1995813"]East Timor stories[/url]

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It's hard to be chaste, that's all I can say...[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/blush.gif[/img]

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[quote name='ThereseP' timestamp='1285275090' post='2175520']
It's hard to be chaste, that's all I can say...[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/blush.gif[/img]
[/quote]


Agreed... :blush:

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Live by example.
There was a prayer I once knew, but unfortunately forgot...I'll ask my nun friend to mail it to me. It was all about asking Mary to help keep one's thoughts and actions pure.

But here's one to Jesus, that is particularly good.
Jesus, Fortress of mankind, You are Immaculate! Bless me with Your infinite graces, That I may remain in a state of purity. Strengthen my body, spirit and soul To continually reflect Your chastity. Protect my soul in its daily struggles, Guiding it to ponder on Your Godliness. Defend me from the forces of evil, Those that seek to acquire my soul: I am truly Yours forever and ever. Holy is my King, the Conqueror of sin!

Also, try praying the Rosary. Mary is very powerful!

Dieu vous benisse!

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Here's a great marriage, children and chastity website I just came across:

[url="http://onemoresoul.com/"]http://onemoresoul.com/[/url]

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[quote name='ThereseP' timestamp='1285275090' post='2175520']
It's hard to be chaste, that's all I can say...[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/blush.gif[/img]
[/quote]


[quote name='Fragments' timestamp='1285275838' post='2175534']
Agreed... :blush:
[/quote]

Ditto. One of my friends who was struggling with chastity started sleeping on the floor and praying vespers in order to build up discipline as well as to put everything in a different context. He says this has helped. Edited by Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam

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I think we should get this thread pinned.

Great link by the way JoyfulLife.

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[quote name='Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam' timestamp='1285349178' post='2175705']
Ditto. One of my friends who was struggling with chastity started sleeping on the floor and praying vespers in order to build up discipline as well as to put everything in a different context. He says this has helped.
[/quote]

coolio. Just out of curiosity, does he use the hours from the old extraordinary liturgy or the present?

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[quote name='Micah' timestamp='1285360512' post='2175744']
coolio. Just out of curiosity, does he use the hours from the old extraordinary liturgy or the present?
[/quote]

I think he has a more recent copy of the Liturgy of the Hours.

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Avoiding occasions of sin and guarding the eyes are important. Resisting temptation is much more difficult than just giving into it, and if we make a habit of giving in....it becomes more and more difficult to resist. There's a reason the Bible speaks of the slavery of sin! And yes, it's a result of the Fall that we are like this. Denying oneself in little things (fasting, giving up a favorite food, turning off TVs or staying away from the internet) can help to train the will to resist temptation, but ultimately we rely on the grace of God, so pray, pray, pray.

Lust is an issue of the heart, so even if dangerous situations are avoided, the temptation hasn't been 'dealt with' and will return at the first opportunity. We must train our hearts to love, to see others with the eyes of Jesus. No easy task! But essentially, the core of the Christian life.

Focusing on sin often leads to despair and discouragement. If you fall, repent, seek the graces of the sacrament of reconciliation, resolve to do better....and move on. Beating yourself up over it, strangely enough, will just lead to falling again and again.

You may want to get yourself a St. Philomena cord. (Adoremus Books has them.) It's a sacramental that you simply tie around your waist each day (under your clothing) and say a prayer. A good physical reminder to live a pure life. Also, she was a favorite saint of St. John Vianney :). Here's the prayer:

[quote]O St. Philomena, glorious Martyr of Faith and Purity, grant me the same strength of mind that enabled you to resist the most terrible assaults; grant me your ardent love for Jesus Christ which the most atrocious tortures were not able to extinguish, so that, by wearing your Cord and imitating you on earth, I will be incoronated with you in heaven. Amen.[/quote]

An older version of the prayer was:

[quote]Oh Saint Philomena, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us so that through your powerful intercession we may obtain that purity of spirit and heart that leads to the perfect love of God. Amen.[/quote]


Hope that helps!

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[color="#595959"][font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="4"][quote]Lust is an issue of the heart, so even if dangerous situations are avoided, the temptation hasn't been 'dealt with' and will return at the first opportunity. We must train our hearts to love, to see others with the eyes of Jesus. No easy task! But essentially, the core of the Christian life. [/quote][/size][/font][/color]
[color="#595959"][font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"] [/font][/color]
[color="#595959"][font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="4"]so true. [/size][/font][/color]
[font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="4"][color="#595959"] [/color][/size][/font]
[font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="4"][color="#595959"][size="4"]For example, if you know someone on facebook and know they post sinful pictures, don't click on their profile. I think having that awareness and forethought is key. Cause once you're in that situation it gets exponentially harder to avoid sin. [/size][/color][/size][/font]
[font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="4"][color="#595959"] [/color][/size][/font]
[font="arial, verdana, sans-serif"][size="4"][color="#595959"][size="4"]$0.02[/size][/color][/size][/font] Edited by Micah

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There was this prayer I really, really wanted to post on this thread, but couldn't find it. Then, I get the mail and [i]a letter from my nun friend and the prayer were there! [/i]God must be working. Sr. Mary said she has said this prayer every night for years--and she's 74!

Daily Prayer to Our Blessed Mother
[i]This devotion is prayed daily to Our Lady, asking protection from evil, and especially as a protdction from sins against the virtue of purity.

[/i]

[b][i]Mary, loving Daughter of God the Father, I give my soul to your care. Protect the life of God in my soul. Do not let me lose it by serious sin. Protect my mind and my will so that all my thoughts and desires will be pleasing to God.
Hail Mary... [/i][/b]

[b][i]Mary, loving Mother of God the Son, I give my heart to your care. Let me love you with all my heart. Let me always try to love my neighbor. And help me avoid friends who might lead me away from Jesus and into a life of sin.
Hail Mary... [/i][/b][i][b]Mary, loving Spouse of the Holy Spirit, I give my body to your care. Let me always remember that my body is a home for the Holy Spirit who dwells in me. Let me never sin against Him by any impure actions alone or with others, against the virtue of purity.
Hail Mary...[/b]

[/i]:nun2:

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