Theofficial Ask The Opposite Sex A Question Thread

[traichuoi]

[quote name='Catholictothecore' post='1186819' date='Feb 6 2007, 05:18 PM']
Ok....is it true that girls are looking for stability and security, and basically are only attracted to guys that are built like tanks because of some physical attribute?
[/quote]

Yes....oh...I mean it's not entirely true. They don't necessarily need to provide stability all the time. :

[xTrishaxLynnx]

[quote name='Catholictothecore' post='1187005' date='Feb 6 2007, 10:28 PM']
So, basically, what your saying is that if I like a girl, come out and tell her..don't beat around the bush, but if I have the oppurtunity, do it?
[/quote]

Umm... actually I guess what that means is only tell her if you are really serious about it...

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1187019' date='Feb 6 2007, 10:38 PM']
The last time I told a guy I was interested in him, I was really more afraid that he would say yes than that he would say no.

I think there's more that's scary about getting close to someone and developing intimacy than dealing with rejection. For me at least.

So thinking that a guy might be interested awakens lots of fears ... if you are vulnerable with someone and open up and trust someone, in addition to being open to the good things that can come of a relationship like that you are also being open to the very real possibility of being hurt badly.
[/quote]

I agree. Feeling vulnerable can be a bit (read: very) uncomfortable. But even though we fear rejection, and we get hurt sometimes, we can trust that there's something better to follow the pain.

[Catholictothecore]

Ok, girls, if a guy likes a girl due to attraction, and wants to get to know her better (they don't know each other that well), should he tell her or what? I guess that's what I'm asking.

[traichuoi]

[quote name='Catholictothecore' post='1187385' date='Feb 7 2007, 07:16 AM']
Ok, girls, if a guy likes a girl due to attraction, and wants to get to know her better (they don't know each other that well), should he tell her or what? I guess that's what I'm asking.
[/quote]

sure...if anything, you're just getting to know her as a friend...and if things don't go further, hey, you got a friend.

[SJRod55]

[quote]Many of the guys in their teens will outgrow it, it just takes some a lot longer than others, and like I said... some never do.[/quote]

I can vouch for this. Some also 'regress' to that 15 year old level. Some - like yours truely - cannot remember being allowed to be or act 15, therefore doing it now seems to be 'catching up.' Trouble is some get stuck in the time warp. Then there are also those amongst us who idolize Peter Pan and see that as our future!

Basically girls, lets face it. Boys will NEVER understand you and you will NEVER understand boys. The best book I ever saw was a 1.5 inch thick paperback entitled 'Everything Men Know about Women' - it was about 350 pages long ...... every one of them blank! Perhaps a 'reflection' of the guy reading the book?????

[morostheos]

[quote name='Catholictothecore' post='1187385' date='Feb 7 2007, 05:16 PM']
Ok, girls, if a guy likes a girl due to attraction, and wants to get to know her better (they don't know each other that well), should he tell her or what? I guess that's what I'm asking.
[/quote]

Ok, key point here: you should tell her you want to get to know her better, but not necessarily that you like her due to attraction. Of course you can give compliments and such, but if I guy comes up and says - "Hi, you're really attractive, can I get to know you better?" that doesn't usually work too well. Ya gotta be a little bit subtle. I must say, this is something Italian men just can't seem to figure out.

[mariahLVzJP2]

[quote name='Catholictothecore' post='1187385' date='Feb 7 2007, 11:16 AM']
Ok, girls, if a guy likes a girl due to attraction, and wants to get to know her better (they don't know each other that well), should he tell her or what? I guess that's what I'm asking.
[/quote]
talk to her and get to know her. ask about her interests and give her compliments

[dairygirl4u2c]

straight dope.

girls what what they can't have.

also girls like "bad" boys. all of them do, no matter if they admit it or not, and whether they are consciouisly aware of it or not, and despite the fact many will say they look for "nice" guys. when you hide, you're being bad, especially if you're acting cool despite being broke up with. you'll be on her mind, assuredely, and girls like to think about guys, and thinking about them causes them to like you.
bad is a bit of a stetch, but iw anted to includ it here at least gernally. not necessarily a wife beater. the world isn't split between wife beaters and wussies. "bad" could even include an intense zeal for God, despite opposition to your belief. just not a spineless wussy.

Edited February 7, 2007 by dairygirl4u2c

[traichuoi]

[quote name='dairygirl4u2c' post='1187651' date='Feb 7 2007, 12:19 PM']
straight dope.

girls what what they can't have.

also girls like "bad" boys. all of them do, no matter if they admit it or not, and whether they are consciouisly aware of it or not, and despite the fact many will say they look for "nice" guys. when you hide, you're being bad, especially if you're acting cool despite being broke up with. you'll be on her mind, assuredely, and girls like to think about guys, and thinking about them causes them to like you.
bad is a bit of a stetch, but iw anted to includ it here at least gernally. not necessarily a wife beater. the world isn't split between wife beaters and wussies. "bad" could even include an intense zeal for God, despite opposition to your belief. just not a spineless wussy.
[/quote]

I think you can be a "bad" boy and nice. I think you're right that girls don't want wussies...we want to feel protected not the protector.

[mariahLVzJP2]

ok guys, so why do some of you start liking a girl and act like you are really into her (maybe you really are into her) and when she likes you back (or you two start dating), you just stop liking her? this is horrible

[stuckinamo]

okay i'm a girl and i TOTALLY second that question!!!!!!!

[xTrishaxLynnx]

[quote name='mariahLVzJP2' post='1187727' date='Feb 7 2007, 05:28 PM']
ok guys, so why do some of you start liking a girl and act like you are really into her (maybe you really are into her) and when she likes you back (or you two start dating), you just stop liking her? this is horrible
[/quote]

I third that question.

[Didacus]

[quote name='xTrishaxLynnx' post='1187792' date='Feb 7 2007, 07:35 PM']
I third that question.
[/quote]

Well guys can reply to that question in many ways;


1. Fright

No man can honestly say never to have been intimated by a woman at a time or other in their life.



2. Shallowness

Being a man (boy) one must admit many of us are shallow, or have been shallow. The harm this shallowness causes is beyond measure.



3. Second thoughts

If the guy is serious, he will consider deeply upon the real prospect of a relationship and may sometimes genuinely change their minds before 'things get too far'.



4. Feelings of inadequacy

A lot of guys will seek the attention of a girl simply because they want to be near someone they feel they can't get close too otherwise. Once they see they can actually 'be' with that girl, they feel inadequate and that they better run and hide now 'cause there wil be more embarrassment for them later if they carry this further.




And there can be more. The common thing you will notice in all replies however, is that the burden of fault falls upon the guy and rightfully so. It ispurely their own laking and immaturity that causes them to act in this manner, though many times (with the exception of selfishness) not intentionally.

If a guy acts like this towards you girls, it is that they have some form of growth they need to get through before being deserving and dignified in being with you. Keep your heads up, whip your tears, there is always better things to come - believe me.


So girls, why do you think men have nipples?

[Socrates]

[quote name='mariahLVzJP2' post='1187727' date='Feb 7 2007, 06:28 PM']
ok guys, so why do some of you start liking a girl and act like you are really into her (maybe you really are into her) and when she likes you back (or you two start dating), you just stop liking her? this is horrible
[/quote]
Actually I've seen this happen the other way around, a number of times.

What gets me (a lot of times this is with "on-line dating") a woman acts interested, and agrees to go out, then backs out at the last minute, or enthusiastically agrees to a second date, then backs out at the last minute.
This happens repeatedly, with many who seem to be "good girls."

Do women falsely say they want to go out just to "be polite" with no intention of actually following through, or are they just incredibly wishy-washy?

Personally, I'd rather have someone straight-up say she doesn't like me than play these kinds of games, which get up false hopes, and sometimes waste my money (once I had to cancel a flight even).


And women say they want a man who knows and stands up for what they believe in, and to be a "spiritual leader," but I've seen a number reject me straight-out because I dare express my politically-incorrect beliefs without fear or apology.

It seems that strength in one's beliefs is good only if they so happen to perfectly coincide with her own. . .

[mariahLVzJP2]

[quote name='Didacus' post='1187813' date='Feb 7 2007, 08:10 PM']
Well guys can reply to that question in many ways;
1. Fright

No man can honestly say never to have been intimated by a woman at a time or other in their life.
2. Shallowness

Being a man (boy) one must admit many of us are shallow, or have been shallow. The harm this shallowness causes is beyond measure.
3. Second thoughts

If the guy is serious, he will consider deeply upon the real prospect of a relationship and may sometimes genuinely change their minds before 'things get too far'.
4. Feelings of inadequacy

A lot of guys will seek the attention of a girl simply because they want to be near someone they feel they can't get close too otherwise. Once they see they can actually 'be' with that girl, they feel inadequate and that they better run and hide now 'cause there wil be more embarrassment for them later if they carry this further.
And there can be more. The common thing you will notice in all replies however, is that the burden of fault falls upon the guy and rightfully so. It ispurely their own laking and immaturity that causes them to act in this manner, though many times (with the exception of selfishness) not intentionally.

If a guy acts like this towards you girls, it is that they have some form of growth they need to get through before being deserving and dignified in being with you. Keep your heads up, whip your tears, there is always better things to come - believe me.
So girls, why do you think men have nipples?
[/quote]

wow, thanks. that was thorough. i appreciate it

as far as guys having nipples...it would look a bit weird without nipples there wouldn't it?!

[quote name='Socrates' post='1187841' date='Feb 7 2007, 08:52 PM']
Actually I've seen this happen the other way around, a number of times.

What gets me (a lot of times this is with "on-line dating") a woman acts interested, and agrees to go out, then backs out at the last minute, or enthusiastically agrees to a second date, then backs out at the last minute.
This happens repeatedly, with many who seem to be "good girls."

Do women falsely say they want to go out just to "be polite" with no intention of actually following through, or are they just incredibly wishy-washy?

Personally, I'd rather have someone straight-up say she doesn't like me than play these kinds of games, which get up false hopes, and sometimes waste my money (once I had to cancel a flight even).
And women say they want a man who knows and stands up for what they believe in, and to be a "spiritual leader," but I've seen a number reject me straight-out because I dare express my politically-incorrect beliefs without fear or apology.

It seems that strength in one's beliefs is good only if they so happen to perfectly coincide with her own. . .
[/quote]

you know many women do agree to go out just to be polite, but i agree that they should just be honest and say they are not interested in the other person romantically. sometimes when girls do tell guys that they aren't interested the guy freaks out and says something like, "you don't know that, you haven't even tried giving it a chance!" i have had lots of friends tell me this, so sometimes it is a little hard to be straightforward because one doesn't want to be rude or upset anyone.

i appreciate a guy that is a "spiritual leader" but if they seem too hardcore, its kind of scary (for lack of a better word).

Edited February 8, 2007 by mariahLVzJP2