Where Wholesome, Godly Spouses Are To Be Found?

[MissScripture]

[quote name='Strictlyinkblot' timestamp='1323762968' post='2350267']
I used to love reading romances, trashy or otherwise. I wanted the perfect hero. Then I grew up and realised that there's no perfect men or perfect heros this side of heaven. There will be times when they let you down and you let them down, that they just plain annoy you. For me I gradually came to realise that I didn't want to settle for a man, I wanted the perfect man. Jesus is my soul mate, he will never let me down (even if it feels that way sometimes), he will love me perfectly always and forever.
[/quote]
My sister told me the only problem is that when there is a problem in the relationship, you know it's your fault and your fault alone. But she never has to worry about an over-bearing mother-in-law.

[Strictlyinkblot]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1323763499' post='2350269']
My sister told me the only problem is that when there is a problem in the relationship, you know it's your fault and your fault alone. But she never has to worry about an over-bearing mother-in-law.
[/quote]

Yup, that's the problem with dealing with the perfect man. You are always in the wrong.

[OnlySunshine]

I met a young woman when I went to visit the RSMs last month who told the Vocation Director that she truly believe she was not called to marriage. She just couldn't envision herself marrying a man. For some reason, the VD told her that she needed to sort out her issues with marriage, but I think she was confused about what the young woman was saying. My friend told me that she meant that she couldn't envision marrying just any man -- she wanted to be a bride of Christ. She is now discerning with the cloistered Carmelites and is very serious. She's already made a visit. I just find it kind of strange that the VD had an issue with my friend not wanting to discern marriage. She wasn't saying that she thought that all men were awful or that marriage was horrible or anything. I mean, if she had, I would totally agree with the VD. But she made it clear that marriage was just NOT for her.

As for me, I am staying open to the idea of marriage. I think religious life is officially ruled out because I have visited all the communities that have appealed to me and haven't found THE one. So, I am on to discerning the Sacrament of Marriage and Consecrated Single Life (including Consecrated Virginity and Secular Orders).

[AccountDeleted]

Where do you find these paragons of virtue?

why at phatmass of course! I thought everyone knew that!!

Edited December 13, 2011 by nunsense

[Antigonos]

[quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1323735299' post='2350019']
Hello,

So I wonder, I don't see it in my area, but I saw some really wholesome, innocent in every way, homeschooled, godly, spiritual, loving, kind men in their twenties near a shrine in the past. But I don't live there. Where are such people to be found? Yes, I'm just thinking ahead and curious as to the answers.
[/quote]

Don't look for them; let them find you. I know, much easier said than done!

[savvy]

I always had very high expectations from men. I realized that nobody could meet them except God.

[missionseeker]

I know a few Godly guys. (Am at a Catholic University). But I haven't met any one who would be good for me as a spouse. I don't think the trick is to go to a place and people watch and say "I'm going hunting for a spouse, let's see what we find today today!" I think you just have to be open to things and people and places. God is funny. We grow mentally, spiritually, and emotionally through our relationships with other humans. You never what beautiful souls you will come across in the most ugly of places.

[faithcecelia]

Joyful, having read many of your recent posts I cannot help but think that you will only actually be happy and find your true path in life once you are happy on your own as you are. I think we have all had times when we cannot find something - we look everywhere for it, where it should be, where it might be, even where it couldn't possibly be, but it is only when we stop looking that it suddenly turns up! The same can so often be true for our life-paths. You seem to be desperate to know the answer to 'what does God want me to do?' which is not of itself a bad thing, but I think its maybe time for you to accept that at this precise moment God probably just wants you to be exactly where you are and you need to find peace in that.

[i<3franciscans]

[quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1323754184' post='2350219']
The man finds you,
[/quote]
I have to second this. Let God lead the man to you! He knows what own standards are and considering He knows every man on the face of the earth He probably would find the best person for you to spend the rest of your life with.

[Sarah147]

Considering the area I live in that's hard to imagine... But I will pray about it if I am called to marriage.

[Feankie]

Remember....every sinner has a future, and every saint has a past! There is no such thing as the "perfect" man, trust me, I know!!
I have been working on my marriage for 39 years, and yes, it takes work...a lot of it. And it's hard at times. Frankly, it's more give than take most of the time. But that's okay. If I can give myself to my husband in small ways, it pleases him. And it pleases [u]me [/u]that it pleases him.
If you are open to dating, put yourself in a place that is conducive to finding healthy relationships. It's like the old saying, you can't have a diabetic go to work in a bakery.......not a good thing. And, you can't force things to happen. They evolve naturally. They take time, patience, understanding. Be patient and be open.

Edited December 13, 2011 by Francis Clare

[Sarah147]

Be patient and be open. Great advice, and sounds like a good meditative prayer.