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The Secret Pasts Of Phatmassers


Nihil Obstat

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Nihil Obstat

[quote name='i<3LSOP' timestamp='1331913189' post='2401826']
[size=2](Whoa that just took a lot of mad editing skills.)[/size]

Wait, Nihil in the video... which one is MIkolbe?
[/quote]

The one with the pretty blue dress and high voice.

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Nihil Obstat

Shortly after Saadi Marzi was released, USAirways parted ways with the band due to creative differences. They remained on good terms, but rumour has it that USAir wanted to take things in a more funk/electronica direction, while Jason and Jaime preferred to work on their death metal/classic country concept album. Winchester was contributing his well-known rapping skills and was content with the direction Jason and Jaime were interested in.
So USAir left shortly after Saadi Marzi, and where should he end up but as a booking manager at an event planning company in London, of which Jesus_Lol was CEO. Any celebrity with any amount of fame to their name would plan their galas and charity events and release parties through Jesus_Lol and USAir. USAirways' vast experience in the bhangra scene and the world of professional music gave him plenty of contacts to draw from and many favours to pull, and J_Lol's mob connections kept profits nice and tidy.
And that, of course, is how I met USAirways and Jesus_Lol. You see, at the time I was working for a very secret private international intelligence organization. For months I'd been tracking a man with ties to a worldwide bible counterfeiting operation. I was due to meet with my contact (more on him in a moment) when I spotted a tail, so I aborted my meeting and high-tailed it towards the Thames where my team was waiting with an escape boat. As I ran I saw another operative blocking my path in front, so I had no choice but to duck into the nearest door which, you guessed it, was J_lol's and USAir's office building. I quickly explained the situation, and we barricaded the door. At this point we were surrounded by about ten bible counterfeiting operatives with automatic rifles. I had only my trusty Beretta 92fs in one hand, and my Springfield XDM45 on my belt.
Just as things were starting to look grim, there was a huge crash on the upper level. USAir and J_Lol and I raced to the top floor to find that Phatcatholic, the contact I had been trying to meet, had blown a hole in the roof and was waiting to pick us up in his helicopter. It was truly a daring escape. Thank goodness that his helicopter was bulletproof. We [url="http://www.ratemyfunnypictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nope-640x853.jpg"]noped[/url] out of there just as a guy arrived with an RPG.
A few hours later we landed in Saintonge, France, where my syndicate had a major base of operations. The three of them of course were handsomely rewarded for their role in the operation. Phatcatholic ended up working as a field consultant for the syndicate for a few months, and we caught the bible counterfeiters on the day before his wedding to Azaelia.
And yes, before you ask, of course Jason and Jaime and Winnie played at the wedding. A splendid time was had by all.

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Nihil Obstat

After the band called it quits, MIkolbe slipped into a pretty serious depression. He tried self-medicating with Tylenol 3, Benadryll, and Cocoa Puffs, but he was too far gone at that point even for the Cocoa Puffs to help. He did some things he's not proud of during that time, just to get his rent and food money. Quite possibly his lowest point was when he signed on to act in Lucky Star as Minoru Shiraishi:

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgbfCx0ZLn8[/media]

You can see the crushing loneliness and desperation of Jason in this clip. Clearly at this point he's hit rock bottom; a broken man. He was living paycheck to paycheck, at the mercy of his unscrupulous manager.

Thank God, he bounced back after Lucky Star finished, and began working as a mascot at Disneyworld, from whence he worked his way up the ranks until he was adopted by Walt Disney himself, who left him the entire empire in his will. It's said that Walt's last words to MIkolbe were "Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold."

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Walt was always so kind to me....

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1331927338' post='2401930']
I hope we all get to see that lovely dress someday.
[/quote]
well i hear the Phamily Reunion will have many surprises....

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Nihil Obstat

[quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1331944594' post='2402051']
Walt was always so kind to me....
[/quote]

Everyone around you two could see that he thought of you like his own son. What a gracious man he was.

Edited by Nihil Obstat
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[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1331940916' post='2402017']
The one with the pretty blue dress and high voice.
[/quote]
Oh yeah, that is what I thought... when I saw the "one with the pretty blue dress and high voice" I thought of Jason for sure.

edit: I put "on" instead of "one"

Edited by i<3LSOP
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[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1331945711' post='2402062']
Vodka? Or Tylenol 3 and Benadryll?

or Cocoa Puffs?
[/quote]
Some dude wrote a novel in the debate table explaining why my rejection of Statism is bad. You're distracting me from responding. Thanks, because the level of disconnect between that and Hasan's psychotic episode regarding Greenspan being free market is causing me to question the purpose of life.

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Nihil Obstat

[quote name='i<3LSOP' timestamp='1331946830' post='2402078']
Oh yeah, that is what I thought... when I saw the "one with the pretty blue dress and high voice" I thought of Jason for sure.

edit: I put "on" instead of "one"
[/quote]

Yep. You can totally tell that it's him when you know what to look for.

[quote name='Winchester' timestamp='1331946845' post='2402079']
Some dude wrote a novel in the debate table explaining why my rejection of Statism is bad. You're distracting me from responding. Thanks, because the level of disconnect between that and Hasan's psychotic episode regarding Greenspan being free market is causing me to question the purpose of life.
[/quote]

[img]http://nextlol.com/images/12968-i-have-no-idea-what-im-doing.jpg[/img]

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What our dear chronologist is forgetting to mention is his own past music career:

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ&ob=av3n[/media]

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[quote name='SaintOlaf' timestamp='1331913014' post='2401823']
The real question is, do you ever REMEMBER a time when ipods didnt exist? :P



Your silence affirms the truth of the matter
[/quote]

I remember when iPods didn't exist.

:|

I feel old.

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Nihil Obstat

[quote name='BigJon16' timestamp='1331993588' post='2402330']
What our dear chronologist is forgetting to mention is his own past music career:
[/quote]

Man, do I ever wish.
Unfortunately I was too caught up in work for the syndicate at that time to really nurture my musical talent. It was sort of like one constant James Bond movie without all the sex.
It's only very recently that I've been able to record a couple songs:

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs_sdWaqpZw[/media]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-NOZU2iPA8[/media]

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