611 replies to this topic

[EmilyAnn]

I'm seeing this discussion over at CAF and since occasionally I think folks here aren't as nutty as folks over there (sometimes) I thought I'd bring this over here.

Basically the question is it is sinful to have flatmates or housemates of the opposite sex? I'm not talking about cohabitation of couples, which is a different matter altogether, but platonic friends living together.

It's just kind of annoying me because I've lived with male housemates for the past two years and will do next year as well. I don't see anything wrong, it's not a near occasion of sin for anyone and it's not causing scandal - in student populations it's pretty much normal.

[Archaeology cat]

In Liverpool, it was quite normal for students of different genders to share a house or flat, and I never assumed it was anything other than platonic. Maybe t depends on location & circumstance, to an extent?

[Lilllabettt]

There was a time when unmarried women did not move out of their family homes, much less live with opposite-sex friends. People who come from a time when that was true might be scandalized by the idea of co-ed housemates. For you and your community, it might not be a big deal at all.

I personally have lived with boys and appreciated having them around on more than one occasion.

[Basilisa Marie]

As long as you have separate bedrooms, I don't see the problem, especially for students who need to save money. I think nowadays it's so common, and it really doesn't give scandal in the way it used to. Especially if there are 3 or more people together.

[MissyP89]

It's definitely not. As long as you're not walking around naked in front of your housemates or something similar, then it's not a big deal.

[BG45]

It's not. It might bring the thought of scandal to people whose minds are in the gutter, but having been in that situation (unwillingly) I can say it was never tempting towards sin in any way. If anything, it made me appreciate my values even more.

It's definitely not. As long as you're not walking around naked in front of your housemates or something similar, then it's not a big deal.

Which brings to mind my one roomie's girlfriend that year which was so in love with doing that...you remember A. I bet. First time she and I met she was naked. Later invited me to do drugs with she and T. Among other things. x.x

[r2Dtoo]

It's definitely not. As long as you're not walking around naked in front of your housemates or something similar, then it's not a big deal.

What if you're same-sex housemates and doing this are you one of the Unmentionables?

Edited by r2Dtoo, 23 March 2012 - 07:26 PM.

[EmilyAnn]

I'm glad to see people here are much more sane that people at CAF! I get scrupulous when I'm stressed and I just signed a new lease for next year so I thought I'd see what you guys thought.

[RezaMikhaeil]

It might be intelligent to avoid it and the temptations that it might bring if you have the ability.

[Hubertus]

I never realized this practice was so wide-spread until more recently, but I come from a very conservative background.

It might be intelligent to avoid it and the temptations that it might bring if you have the ability.

Yeah.. Even if there's no way for it to bring temptation to you, I would say it's still the less desirable option. I wouldn't even consider living with a girl that I wasn't married to.

[Luigi]

I wouldn't even consider living with a girl that I wasn't married to.

You don't have any sisters? Or a mother?

Almost everybody has lived with a girl they're not married to at some point in their lives.

[Hubertus]

You don't have any sisters? Or a mother?

Almost everybody has lived with a girl they're not married to at some point in their lives.

Apologies, I should have put "married or related to."

I also think the home is a bit of a different environment. My mom was trying to encourage my sister and I to live together (although I think she was joking) at university, but I just couldn't see it happening. I did grow up with three sisters, but now that we're on our own I think we need our independence. That's probably more of just a personal thing, though.

[Basilisa Marie]

Hmm, yes, I agree that generally speaking, it's obviously better for same-sex housemates. But then, I'd rather live with two good, platonic friends that are guys than two random girls I don't know.

Also make sure bedroom doors have locks on them. You know, so no one accidentally walks in when you're changing.

My boyfriend and I are currently doing a long distance relationship, and I'll be finishing up my degree soon and looking to possibly getting a job in the area where he's attending medical school. His mom brought up the idea of getting an apartment together to save money. We know we aren't doing anything, and our families are sure we aren't doing anything, but because people know that we are dating, if we lived together that would have particular connotations that would give scandal. Which is weird, because on one hand they would give scandal because they know that we're Catholic, but on the other hand other people would be sure that we weren't doing anything because they know we're both faithful, practicing Catholics. Despite that, I still firmly believe it's much better to not live together before we eventually get married, even if we aren't doing various deeds that usually go along with cohabitating.

Anywho. Yay for living with people of the opposite sex. Boo for living with one's boyfriend/girlfriend.

[kujo]

I lived with my best friend of 15 years, Vanessa, for 2 years during my undergrad. She's like a sister to me, and it was the easiest--and cheapest way--for us and our families to afford our schooling options. I am sure that people might've got the wrong idea somewhere along the way, but I don't regret it for a single second. Our living together gave me insight into what I was going to be facing once my fiancee and I moved in together

[zabbazooey]

I've lived in a house with 3 or 4 other guys. Also another house with 2 men. It was legit. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, like people have said, as long as you have separate rooms.

[homeschoolmom]

It's rather hard to have a civilized discussion when you start out proclaiming those who don't agree with you are "nutty."

[beatitude]

I've lived with guy friends before. I don't understand it when people express concerns about temptation. I don't think any guy is going to be overpowered with attraction for me when he sees my habit of leaving my grungy old socks in the bathroom. Equally, I am not going to sink into the clutches of rapacious lust for a male housemate who leaves his cereal bowl to fester in the sink for about six weeks. There was nothing sexual about that situation - just a group of friends in a house, with physical contact occurring only when I needed to frogmarch someone into the kitchen to do his dishes.

[EmilyAnn]

It's rather hard to have a civilized discussion when you start out proclaiming those who don't agree with you are "nutty."

All I meant was that there is a tendency there to make mountains out of molehills and turn every tiny little thing into a mortal sin. I have no doubts that they have the best of intentions, it's just sometimes unrealistic and unhelpful.

[sixpence]

I've lived in a house of 3 or 4 where one was a lab mate and a guy, it is very likely I will do it again this coming year!!

[Lil Red]

Basically the question is it is sinful to have flatmates or housemates of the opposite sex?

yup. they're gonna burn in hell. so sry.




















i'm totally kidding.