PhuturePriest Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I would say this is fine, but if any romantic feelings develop it is wise for one of the parties to move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 [quote name='Autumn Dusk' timestamp='1334333409' post='2417043'] If you have kids under 5 there is some things in this world its good to keep them from. But seriously, kids do figure things out and it's better to have a parent to guide them then them trying to figure it out on their own. When I was around 8 there were alot of kids in my neighborhood with divorced parents. My best friend's parents got divorced. We discussed how it was good that her dad was not getting divorced because he liked another man. This was the 90's and I was homeschooled. You're sexualizing a non-sexual situation, making it much more scandalous than it really is. And if you truly have kept them from this stuff just when do you plan on telling them? [/quote] I choose not to inform my children of things b/c they will hear it anyway and rather have it come from me, not the world. My wife and I have chose to do our best to keep our children sheltered. I want my children to learn of certain sinful/immoral things when they are mature and can process it properly, rather than 8 years old when we know they will not process it properly. We will be 100% successful? Probably not, but we choose that we must try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Autumn Dusk Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 [quote name='Papist' timestamp='1334334290' post='2417049'] I choose not to inform my children of things b/c they will hear it anyway and rather have it come from me, not the world. My wife and I have chose to do our best to keep our children sheltered. I want my children to learn of certain sinful/immoral things when they are mature and can process it properly, rather than 8 years old when we know they will not process it properly. We will be 100% successful? Probably not, but we choose that we must try. [/quote] You're sexualizing a non-sexual problem. Yes, living togethher to SOME people can appear bad, but in this case it's housemates and you'd do well not sexualizng the simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 [quote name='Autumn Dusk' timestamp='1334337654' post='2417074'] You're sexualizing a non-sexual problem. Yes, living togethher to SOME people can appear bad, but in this case it's housemates and you'd do well not sexualizng the simple. [/quote] Please point out where I am adding sex where it does not exist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Autumn Dusk Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 [quote name='Papist' timestamp='1334338305' post='2417086'] Please point out where I am adding sex where it does not exist. [/quote] Where housemates are living together and there isn't any sex. Sometime that's just the way it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominicansoul Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 [quote name='Autumn Dusk' timestamp='1334333409' post='2417043'] In that case I shouldn't have my non-boyfriend male friend over for dinner after dark. Nevermind he's twice my age, like a dad to me and it gets dark at 4 during the winter. We have to live carefully but not be scurplous. [/quote] ...having someone for dinner is not the same as living with them... ... scruples has nothing to do with this... scruples is thinking you've sinned becuase of some[i] trivial [/i]thing.... living with a member of the opposite sex is[i] not [/i]something trivial... in today's society, where sexuality has become meaningless and trivial, i can see where others may perceive it isn't all that big of a deal anymore.. but as Catholics, we need to think differently than the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 [quote name='Autumn Dusk' timestamp='1334338419' post='2417087'] Where housemates are living together and there isn't any sex. Sometime that's just the way it is. [/quote] I still don't know where I added sex where there was not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Autumn Dusk Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 [quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1334338439' post='2417088'] ...having someone for dinner is not the same as living with them... ... scruples has nothing to do with this... scruples is thinking you've sinned becuase of some[i] trivial [/i]thing.... living with a member of the opposite sex is[i] not [/i]something trivial... in today's society, where sexuality has become meaningless and trivial, i can see where others may perceive it isn't all that big of a deal anymore.. but as Catholics, we need to think differently than the world. [/quote] Pre-1960's it would of been EXTREMLY scandlous to have a opposite-gender friend over for dinner, especally one that stayed late. The difference I'm trying to make is between ROOMmates (which would be scandouls) and HOUSEmates which is the norm for singles these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 [quote name='Autumn Dusk' timestamp='1334338738' post='2417092'] Pre-1960's it would of been EXTREMLY scandlous to have a opposite-gender friend over for dinner, especally one that stayed late. [/quote] Why is that? [quote name='Autumn Dusk' timestamp='1334338738' post='2417092'] The difference I'm trying to make is between ROOMmates (which would be scandouls) and HOUSEmates [b]which is the norm for singles these days.[/b] [/quote] Why is that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Autumn Dusk Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 [quote name='Papist' timestamp='1334338999' post='2417096'] Why is that? [/quote] Since I didn't live back then, I don't have much of a clue but see below. [quote] Why is that? [/quote] For the first time we're required to live outside the home AS single people. In order to get a job I had to move away from my parents. As they were able to afford things they moved deeper into the country and far from employment. I could of lived 30mins from them but chose a job that was closer to the ocean so I could enjoy that. Some could say it was selfish of me to do so, but I'm happy. Therefore I am much more single than my mother or my grandmother ever was. Neither ever lived alone. One of my Aunts lived alone but only because the only job she could find was at a hospital and she was marrying soon and didn't want to be long distant. People are getting married older, and it's no longer respectable to live at home till marriage.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominicansoul Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 iono, i guess i was raised with different Catholic teachings than most... unfortunately, catechesis has suffered greatly and has been watered down in our modern age... which is why our Catholic culture in the world has all but disappeared... ...perhaps many would consider my point of view "old-fashioned," "scrupulous," "prudish," "gossipy" etc. but i'm just going by the way I was taught...and I know how my Dominicans teach this subject and they are definitely against opposite sex housemates/roomates. Heck I can go into detail about other things they believe can cause scandal, but I'm sure some here would probably ridicule them. I also know our campus priest always advises the Catholic students against opposite sex co-habitation even amongst friends, he's dedicated homilies to this subject. Coming from these shepherds of souls, I wouldn't take the subject too lightly.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus_lol Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 [quote name='Papist' timestamp='1334323503' post='2416945'] Have you ever talked to a child regarding this matter? I have and it is not easy as you think. You can go on and on explaining, to have him ask, so why they not married or BUT they are not married? When a child has a paradigm it is hard to shift. With proper upbringing, as they mature they will be able to process it properly. [/quote] I have yet to meet a child that didnt or couldnt understand the concept of room mates. Maybe children are more sheltered from the world at large over there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 [quote name='Jesus_lol' timestamp='1334341460' post='2417146'] I have yet to meet a child that didnt or couldnt understand the concept of room mates. Maybe children are more sheltered from the world at large over there. [/quote] That's nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fides' Jack Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 What I find interesting here is that on the first page, the people who are most okay with it are women. Let me be the first to state it: Women might not have trouble with temptations being housemates with a guy. A guy almost certainly will. Women have no idea what kind of impact living with them can have on a guy, because they're not guys. You can argue then that some guys are capable of not being tempted, and so it's okay for those guys, but not for others. To that I answer that the guys who are capable of living with women and not being tempted are exactly the same guys who avoid the temptation in the first place. They're not the ones living with you. The ones living with you almost certainly aren't opposed to the kinds of things that Catholics consider immoral - or at least aren't enough opposed, and they very likely will, at some point, try to get you to do things you might consider immoral, as Catholics. Yes, it is sinful - if it can be avoided (which it always can). I don't think it's a mortal sin in itself, but it certainly constitutes an act of not avoiding near occasions of sin - whether for yourself or for your housemate. As Catholics, we are obligated to look out for them, as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fides' Jack Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 To DomSoul: "Blessed are they who suffer persecution..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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