43 replies to this topic

[Annie12]

So, if someone is being really scrupulous about something and isn't sure if they should say it in confession/ is scarred to, should they trust in Christs mercy and just follow their instincts or should they say it anyway?

( I will share my story now) I have been in this situation and I was only scarred because I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to say something that never happened. Then a few weeks ago I could really feel Christ just tugging at my heart and communicating to me that he wanted me to trust in his mercy and what ever I could do to just trust in him he wanted whether that be confession or prayer or what have you. I also had a dream (whether it was just my imagination or not, I don't know, but) I saw Jesus as the divine mercy image saying "trust in my mercy". I tried to get to confession (even though I had already gone a bunch of times) but that didn't happen because of logistical reasons. So, I prayed about it and I think I'm cured! I totally trust in Christ now and I can accept that he has forgiven me! I have struggled with this for over 3 years now so this is huge!!! Any prayers that it will stay this way are welcome because I don't trust myself that I will stay sane

[Lil Red]

i will post more about this later (i promise!), but....

it's scared.

[Annie12]

thanks.. I can't spell...I do appreciate it though. I can use all the help with spelling that I can get. lol!

[FuturePriest387]

So, if someone is being really scrupulous about something and isn't sure if they should say it in confession/ is scarred to, should they trust in Christs mercy and just follow their instincts or should they say it anyway?

( I will share my story now) I have been in this situation and I was only scarred because I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to say something that never happened. Then a few weeks ago I could really feel Christ just tugging at my heart and communicating to me that he wanted me to trust in his mercy and what ever I could do to just trust in him he wanted whether that be confession or prayer or what have you. I also had a dream (whether it was just my imagination or not, I don't know, but) I saw Jesus as the divine mercy image saying "trust in my mercy". I tried to get to confession (even though I had already gone a bunch of times) but that didn't happen because of logistical reasons. So, I prayed about it and I think I'm cured! I totally trust in Christ now and I can accept that he has forgiven me! I have struggled with this for over 3 years now so this is huge!!! Any prayers that it will stay this way are welcome because I don't trust myself that I will stay sane

I know how you feel. Though I was only scrupulous for a few months, those months were absolutely dreadful. Had I let myself, this is what my Confession would have sounded like (Feel free to laugh. I certainly did):

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been six days since my last Confession, and my sins are: I listened to The Priests' CD, even though I wasn't sure if it had inappropriate lyrics, I swallowed my spit several times yesterday, I looked down when I went to the bathroom, I swallowed some spit during Mass last week, thus breaking the Hour Fast, but still went to Communion anyway, I made a typo on the computer and didn't fix it, I didn't take my scapular and Rosary off and place them outside when I went to the bathroom, I let the crucifix on my Rosary lay flat and somewhat sideways instead of fixing it and making it straight up and down, I chose not to wear a sock with a hole in it, I had involuntary lustful thoughts, I played guitar, and these are my sins."

No, I kid you not. I thought each and every one of these things was a sin. I took the liberty of not saying a few for the sake of decency, but you can imagine it was pretty bad.

[thedude]

One thing a scrupulous conscience needs to keep in mind is that a mortal sin requires full knowledge of the action's being grave matter. Uncertainty is not full knowledge, and "possible" sins are not mortal sins. Most know this already - the key is to resist playing the mind games that continue to pop up. If it makes you too uncomfortable, do it anyway - but pray sincerely that Christ help you make a proper examination of conscience, as you truly wish to confess all your sins. How could He abandon you in that effort?

If you're living in fear, you're going about it the wrong way, remember that. Scrupulous people are usually told to live by the maxim "if you commit a mortal sin, you'll know it" - I think that's a solid motto.

Scrupulosity is very hard, and I remember you all in my prayers.

[Annie12]

This quote helps me:

"The followers of Jesus Christ are all poor, self-confessed sinners if they are wise. I have been privileged to know a few people who some day may be canonized saints, but they all thought that they were poor sinners."
—Fr. Benedict Groeschel, C.F.R.
From his book, "Arise from Darkness"
Edit: Even when I hear the words "Mortal Sin" I get anxious because the thought is so dreadful! (am I weird for this?)

Edited by Annie12, 13 April 2012 - 10:21 PM.

[thedude]

I recommend a devotion to St. Alphonsus Ligouri, a moral theologian who himself struggled mightily with scrupulosity.

[FuturePriest387]

Saint Therese of Lisiuex, one of my personal favorite Saints of all time, struggled a lot with scrupulocity. So did Saint Augustine, if I remember correctly.

[Lil Red]

people usually struggle with scrupulousity for way longer than a "few months"

[thedude]

There's a blurry line between a sensitive and a scrupulous conscience, maybe he's referring to the former. I think what separates them is that there's a hint of obsessive compulsive behavior in scrupulosity, the tendency which is not easily overcome - if ever. A sensitive conscience just doesn't have a good handle on what sin is and is not, but both conditions can be helped tremendously with more formation. Scrupulosity requires the extra step of recognizing instances of OCD-type thinking, shutting it down, and re-assessing your situation calmly and confidently.

[Annie12]

I haven't been diagnosed with OCD, but if I went to a doctor about it I think I might. I have a lot of the tendencies of an OCD person. Anxiety it a huge factor for me too, but I think that might be caused by OCD. The Divine Mercy Chaplet has been a life saver! I have learned to put my trust in Jesus for everything! Its amazing!

[Lil Red]

There's a blurry line between a sensitive and a scrupulous conscience, maybe he's referring to the former. I think what separates them is that there's a hint of obsessive compulsive behavior in scrupulosity, the tendency which is not easily overcome - if ever. A sensitive conscience just doesn't have a good handle on what sin is and is not, but both conditions can be helped tremendously with more formation. Scrupulosity requires the extra step of recognizing instances of OCD-type thinking, shutting it down, and re-assessing your situation calmly and confidently.

amen. great post.

[Lil Red]

for anyone who truly struggles with scrupulosity, i recommend scrupulosity anonymous.

[FuturePriest387]

people usually struggle with scrupulousity for way longer than a "few months"

I do realize this, yes. But thankfully, through asking a Dominican Priest how to combat it, he gave me all that I needed to know and I got rid of it. It was amazing, really. I started praying a prayer to Saint Anne, the mother of Mary, and it quit shortly after that. It was miraculous.

[FuturePriest387]

Hm... There's three people (Including myself) spelling scrupulosity differently.... Apparently the one with the "S" is the correct one. I have been beaten at my best school subject....

[Lil Red]

So, if someone is being really scrupulous about something and isn't sure if they should say it in confession/ is scarred to, should they trust in Christs mercy and just follow their instincts or should they say it anyway?

( I will share my story now) I have been in this situation and I was only scarred because I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to say something that never happened. Then a few weeks ago I could really feel Christ just tugging at my heart and communicating to me that he wanted me to trust in his mercy and what ever I could do to just trust in him he wanted whether that be confession or prayer or what have you. I also had a dream (whether it was just my imagination or not, I don't know, but) I saw Jesus as the divine mercy image saying "trust in my mercy". I tried to get to confession (even though I had already gone a bunch of times) but that didn't happen because of logistical reasons. So, I prayed about it and I think I'm cured! I totally trust in Christ now and I can accept that he has forgiven me! I have struggled with this for over 3 years now so this is huge!!! Any prayers that it will stay this way are welcome because I don't trust myself that I will stay sane

if you do suffer from this debilitating condition, please read the 10 Commandments for the Scrupulous.

[Lil Red]

Definition of scrupulosity from Wikipedia: Scrupulosity is a psychological disorder characterized by pathological guilt about moral or religious issues. It is personally distressing, objectively dysfunctional, and often accompanied by significant impairment in social functioning.^[1] It is typically conceptualized as a moral or religious form of obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD),^[2] although this categorization is empirically disputable.^[1]

people who are scrupulous tend to be overcome with fear and anxiety that every thought, word, and deed is a mortal sin -- all the time. scrupulosity is helped by living in God's joy & trusting in Him. (I like this post from CAF very much)

I do realize this, yes. But thankfully, through asking a Dominican Priest how to combat it, he gave me all that I needed to know and I got rid of it. It was amazing, really. I started praying a prayer to Saint Anne, the mother of Mary, and it quit shortly after that. It was miraculous.

Do you know what this kind of attitude does to people who suffer from scrupulosity? It says, "Well you didn't pray hard enough/the right way to make it go away. You didn't do enough. You have to be pray harder, avoid everything that might lead you to sin, etc. It's all your fault that you still have this. You haven't done enough. You could be free from this if you just prayed harder. You don't deserve a miracle because you're such a sinner." etc. etc. etc. These kind of thoughts can quickly spiral out of control, which is why having regular meetings with a good spiritual director and/or priest is absolutely vital to those who have scrupulosity.

Here are two posts on Understanding Scrupulosity Part I and Part II
"Scrupulosity is oversensitivity to faults. It consists in seeing sin where there is no sin, which causes us to become emotionally tense and spiritually tied up in knots. It paralyzes the will, fills the mind with turbulence, and can cause intense interior suffering."

It honestly sounds like you had poor formation, combined with a sensitive conscience, and I pray that for your sake, you never did suffer from scrupulosity.

(I am trying not to sound harsh, I promise.)

[dominicansoul]

i had chronic scruples when i was young. I still struggle a bit with it, because I feel it never really goes away...completely.

For those of you struggling, I hope you have recourse to a confesser who understands your problem. Some priests I met along my battle were not at all instrumental in helping me fight it. I felt I was passed along from priest to priest until I was able to find one who was willing to help me with it. God bless Fr. Henry Luna, CMF. May he rest in peace. He was my "conscience" through those horrible years, and I know I could not get through it without his help and his counsel...

[FuturePriest387]

I don't mean to say other scrupulous people didn't try hard enough. I could've just had a sensitive conscience, but it most certainly felt like scrupulosity. I was worried everything was a Mortal sin, and my Confessions would last twenty to thirty minutes, and that was with going every week. I thought the way I sat was a Mortal sin, and I sit normally. I do not think a sensitive conscience would have those features.

But more onto the point, I do not mean to say others aren't trying hard enough. People are simply different. I broke a sexual addiction in just three and a half years, while I know others that have been battling it for twelve. It differs from person to person, and nobody should feel bad if they have scrupulosity for longer than I did.

[jaime]

I don't mean to say other scrupulous people didn't try hard enough. I could've just had a sensitive conscience, but it most certainly felt like scrupulosity. I was worried everything was a Mortal sin, and my Confessions would last twenty to thirty minutes, and that was with going every week. I thought the way I sat was a Mortal sin, and I sit normally. I do not think a sensitive conscience would have those features.

But more onto the point, I do not mean to say others aren't trying hard enough. People are simply different. I broke a sexual addiction in just three and a half years, while I know others that have been battling it for twelve. It differs from person to person, and nobody should feel bad if they have scrupulosity for longer than I did.

I really think you should reread your post a few dozen times.