6 replies to this topic

[Butterfly]

Hi all you in phatmass!
I would like to talk to you about the view of religious life in videos. I don’t know how you think about it, but every time when I watch some videos (like the videos of the Nashville Dominicans or the SMME) I feel a little bit strange. Don’t get me wrong: I like the videos, the communities and I think they do a great job. The think which I struggle is more what they are saying about their life: Their religious life seems to be like a perfect never-ending love story without doubts, without hard times. I guess some people think, when they look at these videos, that sisters have never problems and we know that this isn’t true. Nobody talk there about difficulties, about hard times.. Do you know what I mean? Maybe I expect too much.. But I think it is not a good view for discerners when they enter religious life with a totally unrealistic view..
At the other hands I don’t know if you have a more realistic view of marriage at the day you marry.. Also there you are full of ideals..
I’m really curious about your thoughts ;-)

Butterfly

[nunsense]

I think you make a very good point, Butterfly, but we have to remember that these vocation videos are designed to inspire and attract people to religious life because there is probably a very negative view in most people's minds already. After all, when you watch a recruitment video for the military, they don't stress the 50 mile hikes with full pack or carrying one's rifle with them even to the latrine (my daughter said they did this in basic training). They don't focus on the possiblity of death in a war zone, or hating your superior officers. They try to make you WANT to join. I think sometimes vocation videos are a little bit like recruitment advertising but what they want to convey is that there is more to the life than just the hardships and denials.

On the other hand, it might be nice to have the next level of videos for those who are seriously discerning and want to know more. Perhaps they could cover some of the difficulties and explain that these are natural. Or their reasoning might be that once the person is attracted and contacts them, they can go over some of this stuff in person, when the discerner visits the community. It might seem a better idea to them to be able to address specific questions and concerns in person, when there can be an exchange, rather than just assume everyone is going to be worried about the same things.

But it's a great question.

Edited by nunsense, 03 May 2012 - 01:24 PM.

[dominicansoul]

I was a member of the DSMME, and I have to admit, despite the hardships that came along with the life, it was Christmas every day for me there. Not lying! Those videos are showing you genuine joy and happiness. Those sisters aren't acting


As for the hardships and the doubts, those things aren't the first things that come to most sisters' minds when they are asked to describe their life on camera. They talk about what the life means to them from the heart, and the majority of the time, it is very postive. And most sisters who really really love their lives and enjoy what they are doing tend to radiate all happiness on camera.

ITs kinda like interviewing a new mother. When she talks about motherhood, the first things she will tell you is what a joy it is and how much she loves her newborn and can't believe she's a mom! She brags about how cute her baby is, and you can sense the joy emanating from her. I don't believe the majority of new moms would spill out first how terrible it is to wake up in the middle of the night, get spit on, try losing all the weight she gained, how the husband doesn't do as much as he should, the dirty diaper changes, etc. etc. etc. Again, most new moms don't even mind these at all, because they forget how "terrible" all that is when they look at their beautiful little baby..... i think its the same with Religious Sisters who are living their lives in Christ...their happiness is contagious, and YES, it's all true!!!! Hardships are the last things on their mind.....

[mantellata]

double post -- sorry

Edited by mantellata, 03 May 2012 - 02:16 PM.

[mantellata]

I was a member of the DSMME, and I have to admit, despite the hardships that came along with the life, it was Christmas every day for me there. Not lying! Those videos are showing you genuine joy and happiness. Those sisters aren't acting

... i think its the same with Religious Sisters who are living their lives in Christ...their happiness is contagious, and YES, it's all true!!!! Hardships are the last things on their mind.....

I was in the middle of composing my piece Dominicansoul when you wrote this. I heartily agree!!!!!

I actually think that vocation videos that spend all their time talking about how hard it is to live with their Sisters, and the other (sometimes petty) things that come up do more harm than good. It always turned me off --- I knew all that already. Sisters are human and life is life so of course there are lemons. I didn't need any reasons not to be a religious... just the reasons to jump ship and "walk on water" in the first place!

[AnneLine]

Hi, Butterfly! Just realized I hadn't seen your name before, so welcome to PHATmass and to VS!

I agree with what you wrote and with what the others above me wrote. After you've hung around VS for a while, you'll see that we do indeed know about what you are describing. Religious are human, and some people's experiences are tough... and sometimes we've been able to help someone heal after a rough experience.

BUT as with a marriage or any other kind of community, for those who are called, the benefits outweigh the tough moments.

I've been in religious life (God had other ideas for me), and I know there were some sisters who had some tough times. But we did have a lot of fun, and a lot of support from the Sisters and from each other. I know of sisters who have had bad experiences... but I also know of married couples and singles who have been in the same boat. There are NO perfect places this side of heaven.

You make a very good point about being sure that you are getting enough info about what reality looks like and not to just go by what could be a romantic video version of life on the inside. But I don't think the Sisters are trying to mislead... it is just what the life looks like to them.

NunSense, I loved your comparison with the military recruiters. I ran a college job board, and we had a HORRIBLE time with the military recruiters not giving the college kids a real understanding of what they were signing up for. They were trying to get people to sign up for ROTC, and while it might be a good option for some of them, many didn't understand the full magnitude of the contract they were signing.... the kids just saw it as a few hundred dollars a month in exchange for one day of 'maneuvers' each month.

I don't think ANY religious community would let someone come in not understanding what they were getting into.

My 2 cents, and WELCOME Butterfly!

Edited by AnneLine, 03 May 2012 - 02:32 PM.

[marigold]

I actually had the opposite problem! While we don't have the same culture of advertising communities to attract vocations, there is a lot of - rightful - reverence around Orthodox monastic life, and respect for its difficulty, which sometimes spills over into admiring the people who live it as especially gifted in some way. When I first visited my community, I'd read so many anecdotes and cautionary tales about idealistic people who'd come looking forward to difficult fasts and vigils, great marathons of prayer, only to be given a broom and told to sweep up! I wanted to prove that I wasn't like that, I wasn't there to show off how ascetic I was, so I immediately jumped into the full farm schedule and had to be told to go and have a rest as I was on holiday!

I have watched quite a few RC vocation videos and they always make me feel slightly uncomfortable. Partly for the reasons you describe. But also because I think people will find their way to the right community by hook or by crook if the Lord wills it. Now we don't have this problem of 'vocations crisis', so perhaps it's easy for me to be flippant, and if I am I apologise. Obviously people weren't finding their way to communities for quite a long time, and still aren't. So I've heard RC speakers say effectively that producing these videos, brochures, websites etc. is doing the Lord's will regarding getting these options more widely known about - 'witness awakens vocations' and all that. Is there a correlation between vocations advertising and increased vocations? I don't know.

Having said all that, I'm off to watch God Is The Bigger Elvis again, I enjoyed it so much and I want a closer second look.