9 replies to this topic

[MaterMisericordiae]

I've been needing to do my part in the volunteer work for my parish to call people and request donations in the form of time, talent, and treasure. The treasure part is what we really need because my pastor is trying really hard to start a project. I don't know why I ever said I would do it because I hate the idea of calling people and asking for money. I decided, though, to get it over and done with.

The first 2 people on my list of 15 had disconnected numbers. The third was a wrong number. Then, I got an elderly gentleman who hadn't been to Mass in quite some time because of health problems and he is unable to give anything because of Medicare/SS. I made a note to have the Homebound EMHC call him to see if he would like the Eucharist brought to him.

The one after him was SO awful. I mean, the woman was downright NASTY! I wanted to make sure I had the right woman before I read the script and she was like "I already told you who I was!!" I should have known this was going to turn ugly, but I was persistent. I asked her if she knew about the upcoming project and if I could answer any questions for her. She said "no." So, I asked her for a pledge of a monetary donation over two years. O.M.G.!! The words just flew out of her mouth and it was not pretty at all. She berated my pastor and said he was trying to make a name for himself and that she knows people that left because they don't agree and she thought me calling was an invasion of privacy and her son is disabled and she's not giving...

She kept going in circles and I was told that if we have issues with a certain parishioner to be calm and understanding. We were not supposed to take this stuff personal. However, I found it extremely difficult to be calm with this woman after she said such horrible things about the pastor. I know him very well and he is NOT that kind of person at all. I wanted to help her understand but she was not in a position to let me speak.

My blood started to rise...

She continued...

My face got red and my temperature rose...

I knew, if I didn't hang up the phone, I was going to say something I would regret...

So I hung up!

Then -- get this -- she called me back to harass me some more! I don't know how she got my number because our number is private and unlisted. I decided that I had enough and I turned the answering machine off.

It took me about 15 minutes to calm down. I tried calling more people but my hands were shaking and I just could not do it. I have now decided to tell the volunteer committee on another team and tell them about the harassment. It's pretty much all I've been thinking about. I really hope the parishioner doesn't call my pastor and berate me. I don't think I gave her my name.

[Maximilianus]

I doubt she'll be calling your pastor. I'm willing to bet that this type of occurrence it not uncommon when calling for donation. If anything it will give you some experience to help you get through the next irate person.

[MaterMisericordiae]

I doubt she'll be calling your pastor. I'm willing to bet that this type of occurrence it not uncommon when calling for donation. If anything it will give you some experience to help you get through the next irate person.

I've decided to hand the rest of the names over to someone else. I'm not the only one that has been having this issue. We've gotten virtually no positive responses. My mom got chewed out by another parishioner whose husband had just been diagnosed with cancer.

Edited by MaterMisericordiae, 04 May 2012 - 07:25 PM.

[cmotherofpirl]

This is never a good way to actually raise any money. If people haven't been to church, they are not going to contribute.

[Maggie]

Ah the joys of working on the phone! I actually have to do this for part of my workday.

Except in my case the people have actually asked us to call to remind them about scheduled orders. Not that they remember half the time that they set it up.

Plus I work in an area where we have to follow HIPAA laws regarding privacy, so before I disclose what I'm calling about I have to get them to confirm their date of birth...

...You can imagine, someone calls you up, you don't recognize their company's name and they want to know your DOB before they tell you why they're calling... it can get ugly.

The thing is you really can't take it personally! She is just super stressed because she has a disabled son, money is probably tight, she is not in a good place spiritually etc. You just presented yourself at a convenient time for her to wallup on you. Have you ever "taken it out" on someone around you? I know I have. A couple days ago an elderly gentleman called the company and started calling me incompetent before I even started speaking, I didn't have time to help him because he screamed "Get lost!!!" and hung up. I was rattled but I realized from what he was ranting about, he probably had just spent a long time on the phone dealing with insurance companies and manufacturers and was totally frazzled. He was just taking it out on me. Try to pray for this poor upset lady and her son, she obviously has a lot on her plate!

[CatherineM]

I did that for my college once, calling alums. About every other one was dead. Those were great calls.

[MaterMisericordiae]

This is never a good way to actually raise any money. If people haven't been to church, they are not going to contribute.

Yes, and this issue is going to be raised to the volunteer committee who is heading the project. We are also going to politely tell Father what has been going on. It doesn't help if the people who are able to contribute are already. There is usually a good reason why they haven't donated. Our pastor said that if people didn't want to donate money, to at least consider spending a Holy Hour in Adoration, assisting the Food Pantry, making rosaries, etc. I would have liked to present this option to the woman gripping on the phone, but I never was given the chance to.

Ah the joys of working on the phone! I actually have to do this for part of my workday.

Except in my case the people have actually asked us to call to remind them about scheduled orders. Not that they remember half the time that they set it up.

Plus I work in an area where we have to follow HIPAA laws regarding privacy, so before I disclose what I'm calling about I have to get them to confirm their date of birth...

...You can imagine, someone calls you up, you don't recognize their company's name and they want to know your DOB before they tell you why they're calling... it can get ugly.

The thing is you really can't take it personally! She is just super stressed because she has a disabled son, money is probably tight, she is not in a good place spiritually etc. You just presented yourself at a convenient time for her to wallup on you. Have you ever "taken it out" on someone around you? I know I have. A couple days ago an elderly gentleman called the company and started calling me incompetent before I even started speaking, I didn't have time to help him because he screamed "Get lost!!!" and hung up. I was rattled but I realized from what he was ranting about, he probably had just spent a long time on the phone dealing with insurance companies and manufacturers and was totally frazzled. He was just taking it out on me. Try to pray for this poor upset lady and her son, she obviously has a lot on her plate!

You present a very valid point. I know how stressful it has to be to raise a disabled son. I've seen my aunt do it for two of her adopted daughters with different mental incapacitations. My mom has a disability. My grandfather does, too. It is very stressful for the caregiver. I can relate since I was a CNA in a nursing home. I would have loved to chat with her and let her know this but she was one who wanted to spout off everything, just like your customer, and not let me speak.

I want to be as Christian as I can. I know I could have handled the phone call better, and I am sorry that I felt I had to hang up. I don't want to do that to someone else, but it was an instantaneous reaction. I was totally unprepared for a tirade of insults. I know she wasn't insulting me personally, but she was insulting one of the people I hold in high esteem and have great respect for. It just really got to me.

I do not think I am cut-out for this line of volunteer work. I want to help out my pastor, but I'm going to find another ministry where I can better serve my time and talent in a more positive way.

[beatitude]

Mater, have you thought about writing to this lady and offering some help? If she has a disabled son, it might be nice for her to get some respite care. Is there anybody in the parish who would be able to provide that?

If you do write to her, make it clear that you are not expecting her to donate something - you are just offering to help because she sounded very upset and stressed.

[MaterMisericordiae]

Mater, have you thought about writing to this lady and offering some help? If she has a disabled son, it might be nice for her to get some respite care. Is there anybody in the parish who would be able to provide that?

If you do write to her, make it clear that you are not expecting her to donate something - you are just offering to help because she sounded very upset and stressed.

I'm not sure I would feel comfortable approaching her again. She had the nerve to call me back and harass me yesterday so I've decided to just step back. I wish I knew of someone who could offer care. Sadly, we don't have such a service set up and I am no longer qualified to be a CNA (expired license).

Thanks for the idea, anyhow.

[Annie12]

WOW! That sounds like it was a horrible experience for you! When something like this happens to me, I try my best to put it in my past. It will never happen again. so there is no use in worrying about it. Every day is a new day! I will pray for you and again, I feel really bad for you ( I know there would be no way I could deal with that because I don't even like the phone, let alone an angry person on the other end). I hope everything woks out for you!! God bless!