25 replies to this topic

[blacksheep]

We've been buds for a while now and we've helped eachother with a variety of things. Girls, relationships, work, etc. Always trying to better the other...mostly me trying to better him and lucky enough he does listen. But one thing has always bugged me. When he drinks...he takes the lords name in vain. Since i mostly visit him i've never felt comfortable correcting him in his house. We have never shared the same faith but we have a great mutual respect for one another. He has never belittled me or ridiculed me because of mine either. He has even compared me to a knight in some cases. I guess I just don't know how to approach this. What would you all do?

[Groo the Wanderer]

burn him at the stake



just tell him how it makes you feel. if he's truly a friend, he'll take it to heart. if not...light the fire...

[MarieClaire]

I've had the same problem.
Talk to him. Don't 'teach' him, but tell him, how you feel when he's talking like that.
if he's a real friend, he will respect your beliefs.

[Amory]

But one thing has always bugged me. When he drinks...he takes the lords name in vain.

Saying "Oh my God!" or "God beaver dam it!" as exclamations due to anger or surprise (or just to add intensity to the conversation) is an example of mild irreverence, not one of blasphemy.

[blacksheep]

Saying "Oh my God!" or "God beaver dam it!" as exclamations due to anger or surprise (or just to add intensity to the conversation) is an example of mild irreverence, not one of blasphemy.

oh really? that's pretty much when it's said

[Basilisa Marie]

Yeah, it sounds like he's not meaningfully "showing contempt for God or holy persons or things," so I don't think it counts as true blasphemy. But if it makes you feel uncomfortable, and he's your friend, talk to him about how it makes you feel.

[Anomaly]

..mostly me trying to better him and lucky enough he does listen.

Just wow. You must be gratified.
I guess he doesn't have enough appreciation and respect for all you've done for him that you just can't ask him not to say certain things because it makes you feel uncomfortable? Some people are just ingrates.

Edited by Anomaly, 12 June 2012 - 11:58 AM.

[Mark of the Cross]

Saying "Oh my God!" or "God beaver dam it!" as exclamations due to anger or surprise (or just to add intensity to the conversation) is an example of mild irreverence, not one of blasphemy.

I got warned for using the 'beaver dam' not associated with God, just to indicate that I didn't care about something. Obviously the forum admins think that that is a bad word. Opinions please.

[Groo the Wanderer]

its blasphemy. i gave some of my employees verbal warnings for doing it too

[blacksheep]

Just wow. You must be gratified.
I guess he doesn't have enough appreciation and respect for all you've done for him that you just can't ask him not to say certain things because it makes you feel uncomfortable? Some people are just ingrates.

Well..changing behavior is a slow process sometimes. I just have to be the better example, and pray that over time he may change.

Just wow. You must be gratified.
I guess he doesn't have enough appreciation and respect for all you've done for him that you just can't ask him not to say certain things because it makes you feel uncomfortable? Some people are just ingrates.

And I am always grateful to God for giving me him as a friend.

[sixpence]

I would just mention it, saying something like "I'm sure you don't think its a big deal, but it makes me feel uncomfortable when you speak like that" It sounds like he would respect that.

[fides' Jack]

I don't know if it's blasphemy or not, but it certainly is "Taking the Lord's Name in Vain", which is one of the highest of the 10 commandments.

There comes a time when you have to stand by God and let your friend decide if he wants to be friends with you.

[Amory]

its blasphemy. i gave some of my employees verbal warnings for doing it too

I'm not sure where anyone gets the idea that mere irreverent use of the name of God or of Christ is blasphemy. OMFG (when properly expanded) is blasphemy because it states that God is "effing." However, "Oh my God!" by itself certainly isn't. Similarly, F. Scott Fitzgerald's statement, "God beaver dam God!" is blasphemous. But "God beaver dam it" isn't, unless the it you are referring to is (for example) the Eucharist.

I don't normally say "Oh my God!" (unless of course I'm actually addressing Him), but I don't think it's a serious enough matter to demand fraternal correction. Such vulgar language is only venially sinful. Although we should avoid it ourselves while urging those under us (such as any children we have) to do the same, I don't think it's so important that we should correct our friends over its use, especially that that would anger or offend them.

[Papist]

I would do what sixpence suggested. Ask him politely to please not to say such things around you. He will more than likely ask WHY? Be prepared to answer. He'll dismiss you if you tell him to stop.

[Archaeology cat]

.

I don't normally say "Oh my God!" (unless of course I'm actually addressing Him), but I don't think it's a serious enough matter to demand fraternal correction. Such vulgar language is only venially sinful. Although we should avoid it ourselves while urging those under us (such as any children we have) to do the same, I don't think it's so important that we should correct our friends over its use, especially that that would anger or offend them.

I don't know. . . I had a confessor who said it definitely needed to be confessed as taking the Lord's Name in vain. I've definitely asked someone not to say that in front of my kids, at the very least.

[slywakka250]

Your friend probably has no idea it even bothers you at all. I'd just say something if you feel you must.

[Mark of the Cross]

I don't like it when someone says "Thank God it's the weekend." because that seems to trivialise God and show disrespect for all that is given. But if a bus just misses someone and someone says "Thank God!" Then that's reverence because he may well have had a hand in it.

[stevil]

I say oh my goodness (don't blasphemy) from time to time, or God dam or whatever else expletive, not sure how it got into my swearing vocab, but I don't think about saying it, it just comes out.

It troubled a religious friend of mine, she was asking why I would say it, given that I don't believe in god.
I think maybe if I say it as a swear word then maybe it might make its way into her swear word vocab and then she would feel terrible about saying it herself. So I don't want to be the cause for her feeling terrible about herself.
I try very hard not to say it around her, problem is, if you consciously think about NOT saying something, then it is often what you do say.

Anyway, years later, I don't think I say it much, especially not around her.

[Mark of the Cross]

I say oh my goodness (don't blasphemy) from time to time, or God dam or whatever else expletive, not sure how it got into my swearing vocab, but I don't think about saying it, it just comes out.

The use of Jesus and Christ as an expletive is very common in Australia. I don't think people even realise what they are saying or that it is offensive to some people. Many of those people would have a hissy fit if you told their kids there was no santa or easter bunny.

I try very hard not to say it around her, problem is, if you consciously think about NOT saying something, then it is often what you do say.

I get impulses too and often wonder at the source!
Props for your consideration to another!

[Spem in alium]

The use of Jesus and Christ as an expletive is very common in Australia. I don't think people even realise what they are saying or that it is offensive to some people.

It is. So many people use expressions like that. My parents (who are Catholic) say "JC" time to time, as well as "oh my goodness (don't blasphemy)" and "God dam*" - and always when they're angry or irritated at something. In the past I've told them politely that their language makes me uncomfortable, and so they tend to be more mindful of when they use such words.

I think if you do as others have suggested (try and speak with your friend politely), you will have the best chance of making things easier.