13 replies to this topic

[Spem in alium]

How do you deal with them?

I know a few people (one of them is a close family member) who are INCREDIBLY curious. This family member of mine is by far the worst. She demands to know everything even when it isn't her business, and when she's denied information she takes it out on people and gets mad. I love her to death, but she's so nosy...

I don't like complaining about people, but I really don't know what to do when I need to deal with people like that - particularly when I'm being pressed to talk about something I really don't want to speak of. I'm a very quiet and secretive person, and so have a hard time dealing with people who are curious. I feel very violated and uncomfortable.

I'm usually able to handle things by not revealing my emotions. Thankfully most of the curious people I know aren't very perceptive when it comes to reading emotion or expression, but recently I've been having a hard time in knowing what to do or how to deal with people who just need to know everything.

So, what's the best way of getting along with them? Is it best just to deal with things quietly, "suffer in silence" and keep them wondering? Or should I just be prepared to satisfy others at the expense of my comfort? I want to solve things in a way that results in some kind of positive benefit all round, but haven't yet come up with a solution.

Any help would be appreciated. God bless!

[eagle_eye222001]

Maybe leak fake information?


You may be stuck "suffering in silence." Honestly if people are going to unjustly pry....maybe you can wage a copycat war. Pry for information just like they do, and see how they respond. It may awaken them to the fact of just how much they pry. Of course this can backfire....they may fine just giving out all information.

The way I tend to deal with them is to clamp down on the information I give out. Yeah, there's negative feedback over that, but then you just have to lay down the law about how your justified in not writing a "Tell All" book every Friday.

Maybe that helps?

[maximillion]

I wonder what is behind such 'curiosity'?

There is usually a story - essential information was once withheld from this person or it may be their way of trying to control their world, they may believe ( because they feel anxious if they don't get it) that information = safety.

Just a thought.

[CatherineM]

My response is, "why on earth would you ask such a personal question?"

[sixpence]

yeh my response is usually "I'm not telling!!" (look sheepish)... they usually make some assumption.. and that is that

[Lil Red]

i'll use Catherine M's response, or just stare at them with a blank look on my face. usually gets the point across.

[r2Dtoo]

i find the best way to deal with nosy people is to simply ignore them, and refuse to tell them anything about you, or your life. If they want to get mad and huffy let them. So what? I'm not a carpet so what made you think you can walk on me?

[homeschoolmom]

I find that, "Why do you ask?" can be a little bit gentler way to get Catherine's point across.

[Ice_nine]

have you met my mother?

[CatherineM]

I once told a nosy relative when asked why I was late that I had barfed all over myself and had to go home to change. I said I hoped I wasn't contagious and proceeded to cough in her direction. She was never nosy with me again.

[Norseman82]

I once told a nosy relative when asked why I was late that I had barfed all over myself and had to go home to change. I said I hoped I wasn't contagious and proceeded to cough in her direction. She was never nosy with me again.

In the past, when people I tried to let people know I was unavailable and they wanted to know why, I would let out the smart-aleck response "I'm building as bird cage". That would shut them up; if they would have pressed on, I was prepared to use the immortal phrase I learned from my mother when growing up: "ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer".

[cmotherofpirl]

You can always say " you tell me all your personal business first"

[Jesus_lol]

I normally just stab them in the neck, i get very few follow up questions.

[Spem in alium]

Thanks guys Great ideas!

I'm not very good at confrontation or at standing up for myself, so may need to work on that if I want to communicate my feelings better.

I don't like being mean about other people, but it seriously just irks me to have to deal with nosy people. Especially if they're so obsessed with knowing things that when they're denied information they get abusive or hold grudges.

Most of the time I'm able to stand my ground. I don't like being pushed into communicating, and I don't like pushing others either. So having people be so curious as to try and force me into giving them information really troubles me.