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Annie12

Worried...

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Annie12
So it might just be me, but I am supper paranoid that I will never be able to be a religious because no one will accept me. I'm only at the beginning of discernment and so logically speaking, this is an unreasonable arseumption. I feel a STRONG call but I am supper worried that things won't work out. Is this the same for anyone else? Could it be because I am in love with Jesus and this matter is so dear to me? :love:

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Theresita Nerita
I have major experience in this (not about religious life but about my calling in the world.)

Yes, it may very well be because the matter is so dear to you. I've learned from experience (and read and heard from others) that the feeling "I could never possibly deserve this calling! I must be fooling myself!" is a sign that you ARE called. Because when you're called, you think your vocation (whatever it is) is so awesome that you can't possibly be so lucky as to be called to it. If you weren't called, you'd think "yeah, i could do that easily, because it's not that hard."

But DTA is also right - with perfect trust in God's will, your panic will go away.

If you have St. Francis de Sales' Introduction to the Devout Life, read the section on "Anxiety"! It helped me a lot.

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EmilyAnn
You are soooooo not the only one. I had this fear a lot, especially when I first started discerning. I think it's the same way that people who feel called to marriage sometimes worry they'll never find the right spouse. The future is a scary thing, because we don't know how it's all going to unfold.

And DTA is right, a big part of it is trust - trust that if God is calling you, then He will make the way.

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nunsense
[quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1340900497' post='2449989']
So it might just be me, but I am supper paranoid that I will never be able to be a religious because no one will accept me. I'm only at the beginning of discernment and so logically speaking, this is an unreasonable arseumption. I feel a STRONG call but I am supper worried that things won't work out. Is this the same for anyone else? Could it be because I am in love with Jesus and this matter is so dear to me? :love:
[/quote]

The others are right, you are 'super worried' because you love Jesus but you don't really trust Him yet. As time goes by and your love deepens, you will come to realise that He loves you more than you could ever possibly love Him, and whatever He wants is what is best for your soul. If the longing in your heart to be a religious is truly a calling from Him to that life, then as someone else has pointed out, nothing in this world will be able to prevent it from happening. The intense emotional love that you feel right now is one way that God is pulling you closer to Him, but it may be that He has other plans for your life that will bring you even closer (through marriage and motherhood perhaps). The important thing is to allow your 'romantic infatuation' (which is often what our love for Him starts out as) to transform into something more, into a love that does not question His will for you. Trust is a faith that never doubts His love, no matter what happens.

The intensity of feelings that you have right now will (over time and much prayer) become a more complete union with Him and the worries will stop. The early stages of being in love with Jesus can sometimes feel very oppressive in their intensity. St John of the Cross describes the deepening into a different kind of love so beautifully in The Living Flame of Love when in the first stanza he says '... [b]since now you are not oppressive [/b]...'

Be patient with yourself and trust, trust, trust. His will, not yours.





[indent=1]1. O living flame of love
that tenderly wounds my soul
in its deepest center! Since
now you are not oppressive,
now consummate! if it be your will:
tear through the veil of this sweet encounter![/indent]
[indent=1]
2. O sweet cautery,
O delightful wound!
O gentle hand! O delicate touch
that tastes of eternal life
and pays every debt!
In killing you changed death to life.

3. O lamps of fire!
in whose splendors
the deep caverns of feeling,
once obscure and blind,
now give forth, so rarely, so exquisitely,
both warmth and light to their Beloved.

4. How gently and lovingly
you wake in my heart,
where in secret you dwell alone;
and in your sweet breathing,
filled with good and glory,
how tenderly you swell my heart with love.[/indent]

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PhuturePriest
[quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1340900497' post='2449989']
So it might just be me, but I am supper paranoid that I will never be able to be a religious because no one will accept me. I'm only at the beginning of discernment and so logically speaking, this is an unreasonable arseumption. I feel a STRONG call but I am supper worried that things won't work out. Is this the same for anyone else? Could it be because I am in love with Jesus and this matter is so dear to me? :love:
[/quote]

You know, what you are experiencing is one of the few things I am well experienced in. I would always worry "What if I don't get my GED and they don't accept me even if I have a vocation?" or, "What if I flunk out of seminary because of those blasted people that want Priests to have a liberal arts education?" My new favorite that I sometimes have is "What if the economy crashes and I can't afford to do the GED test? Then nobody will accept me save the Franciscan Brothers Minor!" Well, the thing is, if you truly are called, none of this will happen. Remember Saint John Vianney. He had terrible learning problems. He was devout, pious, and wanted to be a Priest more than anything, but he was so terrible at his studies that he literally flunked out of seminary. But his Priest friend saw that he had a vocation and helped him study. When it came to do the final exams in order to enter the pre-diaconate, he still flunked, but his Priest friend asked the Bishop to visit them and to give him another chance. I do not know if he flunked the tests the second time, but the Bishop prayed and saw John had a vocation, so he let him continue, and he was eventually ordained. Even though all odds were against him and he had learning disabilities. To be a Priest you must remember a lot of things, and he never would have made it if he was not called. If you are called whatever community you are called to will accept you, because God's Will is always going to be done so long as we cooperate. I would recommend praying to Saint John Vianney so that he helps you with trusting God. This is something I dealt with harshly when I first began discerning and still sometimes deal with to this day, nearly a year and a half into discernment. Trust in God and be easy on yourself.

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OnlySunshine
[quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1340900497' post='2449989']
So it might just be me, but I am supper paranoid that I will never be able to be a religious because no one will accept me. I'm only at the beginning of discernment and so logically speaking, this is an unreasonable arseumption. I feel a STRONG call but I am supper worried that things won't work out. Is this the same for anyone else? Could it be because I am in love with Jesus and this matter is so dear to me? :love:
[/quote]

Yes, this is an unreasonable as.sumption (stupid fitler) as you know that "God does not inspire unrealizable desires" (St. Therese of Lisieux). If it's meant to be and you belong in religious life, there is nothing that will keep God from getting you in.

I will admit, though, that I struggled with the same thing you are when I first started discerning and found out how difficult it was to find an order that would accept me in spite of my depression issues. Everywhere I went, I hit a brick wall and seriously started worrying about how I was going to fulfill these desires of my heart. It became so difficult sometimes that I felt like I needed to take a break. A few times, I told myself that I was never going to discern again. :rolleyes: But the idea of religious life wouldn't go away no matter how much I tried to push it out of my head. It made me realize that God was the one that kept reminding me. Then, He sent a kind and helpful pastor my way to as.sist in my discernment. I would have never discerned with these Sisters if he had not introduced me to them. I trust that this is happening for a reason and I have no fear about the future. In fact, I feel more peaceful than I ever have when I think about these beautiful Sisters. I'm very hopeful that everything will go well and I will hear back from my pastor VERY soon about the psychological evaluation (when the psychologist returns from vacation). :)

"Pray, hope and don't worry. Worry is useless. God is all merciful and will hear your prayer." -- Padre Pio Edited by MaterMisericordiae

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emmaberry
I think a lot of people have experienced this at one point in their journey-some for a long time, some just for a moment. Like DTA said, trust God. So many posters above said so many good things!
I do worry about this sometimes-what if the community I love doesn't accept me?..etc. I try to remember Mary..who always trusted even when things weren't going the way she planned (and they hardly ever did!) If a religious community doesn't accept you in the future, thought that is a long way off, know that that is very clearly God saying, "Not here." It really is a blessing, but it can be hard to see that.

Even people who love each other deeply get cold feet on their wedding day! "What if he/she changes? What if we grow apart?" and so on. But (usually) they always come back to the realization that this is the person I love, through thick and thin, and I am willing to risk those things because I love them completely. How much more so should it be with Jesus!

Doubts are natural, but, especially if you are going to be a religious, your future Spouse loves you so much more than any earthly spouse could. He will make a way...even if it is not our way. I am not saying the community you apply to will always accept you, but you are always in His hand..He never stops thinking of you and watching your life unfold just the way He knew it would from the moment He created you!

Take your doubts to Mary, and God bless! :)

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Annie12
I think my worries are for a large part due to my very restrictive diet. I'm worried that no one will be able to accomodate my needs. I know God will guide me though!!!

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filius_angelorum
Nope. You are not alone. I am terrified of being accepted, horrified of being rejected, and mortified of all the attention my friends and family are giving me for pursuing my vocation.

I come back to two key spiritual themes: consecration to Mary and abandonment to divine will. They seem so cliché, but when translated into silently plodding ahead through the discernment process and refusal to keep the merits of my works for myself, I find that they are an almost infinite source for meditation. "You do meditate, don't you?" (Going My Way)

And if that sounds too much like "Pull yourself together, (wo)man," know that I don't mean it that way. I have no right to speak in such a manner. I am a wimp. I am learning, however, to let God decide if I sit on the bench or play first string, rather than letting my own insecurities keep me from doing my best. If at the end of it I am asked to sit this one out, I know that God will let me sing right along the priests and apostles someday in Paradise. If he does put me in the game, I know that I will play my wimpy heart out, even if I am not the MVP.

And that is perhaps the only basketball metaphor that this wimpy band geek will ever employ.

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FutureCarmeliteClaire
You are not alone. I have been worrying about this lately, even though I've been discerning for quite a while. Mainly because of my new-found medical problems. I don't know if those are things that communities would not accept me because of, but I certainly worry about it. I have been trying to put it in God's Hands (not always successfully), but it helps to remember that someone who has a vocation to the religious life has to have acceptance into that community. And think of your community as God speaking to you. As much as we may "want" to be nuns, my SD tells me, "It's not really your vocation, is it? It belongs to God, so leave it to Him."

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TheresaThoma
[quote name='filius_angelorum' timestamp='1340925406' post='2450173']
Nope. You are not alone. I am terrified of being accepted, horrified of being rejected, and mortified of all the attention my friends and family are giving me for pursuing my vocation.

I come back to two key spiritual themes: consecration to Mary and abandonment to divine will. They seem so cliché, but when translated into silently plodding ahead through the discernment process and refusal to keep the merits of my works for myself, I find that they are an almost infinite source for meditation. "You do meditate, don't you?" (Going My Way)

And if that sounds too much like "Pull yourself together, (wo)man," know that I don't mean it that way. I have no right to speak in such a manner. I am a wimp. I am learning, however, to let God decide if I sit on the bench or play first string, rather than letting my own insecurities keep me from doing my best. If at the end of it I am asked to sit this one out, I know that God will let me sing right along the priests and apostles someday in Paradise. If he does put me in the game, I know that I will play my wimpy heart out, even if I am not the MVP.

And that is perhaps the only basketball metaphor that this wimpy band geek will ever employ.
[/quote]
That is a great way of thinking about your vocation!

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mantellata
A restrictive diet can be an obstacle for some communities - but not all of them. If it's not for health reasons I would suggest being open to changing your diet. :) If it is for health reasons just be open about your needs from the beginning so your heart doesn't have to be broken after being set upon a particular community that does find your dietary needs to be too restrictive. It just means God is calling you elsewhere!!

Many prayers on your continued journey!!!!!!

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emmaberry
When I visited the Roswell PCCs (A strict order compared to most) they asked about any dietary restrictions or concerns, which surprised me a lot! I do not think they just do that for guests-it seemed like they had some sisters that had to have special food accommodations. So do not as*sume that, if you have allergies or are lactose-intolerate or something like that, then they cannot accommodate you-even cloisters. However, if it is more serious that MIGHT pose a problem..it depends on the community. Think of it as an easy indicator of God's will for you! Sometimes I wish I had some sort of condition or issue that might make communities think twice about accepting me-besides awkwardness. :blush: It would sure make discernment much easier by narrowing down the options.

I hope your diet is not due to a serious health issue. I had a friend that was severely gluten intolerant (I think that's the phrase) and all she could eat were these horrible crackers. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.. Edited by emmaberry

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maximillion
If your restrictions are due to genuine health issues than I think most communities would try to accommodate. Gluten free/diabetic/lactose intolerance are pretty common these days.

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