Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
the171

Can Y'all Critique This?

Recommended Posts

the171
I am writing for the Catholic Corner in the school paper. Here is my first article:

[center][font=georgia,serif][size=3][i]Papal Intentions for the Month of September[/i][/size][/font][/center]

[font=georgia,serif][size=3][b]General Intention: [/b]That politicians may always act with honesty, integrity, and love for the truth.

[b]Missionary Intention:[/b] Help for the Poorest Churches. That Christian communities may have a growing willingness to send missionaries, priests, and lay people, along with concrete resources, to the poorest Churches.[/size][/font]


[center][font=georgia,serif][size=3][i]Get That Funky Mass Rhythm[/i][/size][/font][/center]
[center][font=georgia,serif][size=3]By the171[/size][/font][/center]

[font=georgia,serif][size=3]Wow! Is it already the sixth week of school? We have had our first mass, we have finally arranged our schedules to our liking (or somewhat), and we have started to fall into the rhythm of things. Our schedules are starting to become a sort of habit. We wake up, we go to school, we go home, we sleep. We rinse, we repeat. We are creatures of habit. We [i]love[/i] rituals and patterns. It is comforting to us. But sometimes we get into this pattern of things, we forget the meaning of what we are doing. This can be said for the mass.

We know the responses. We know the gestures. Well, we [i]did.[/i] Then entered stage left the new translation of the Roman Missal. Many of us knew it was coming, but others who do not pay as much attention to the happenings within the institution of the Roman Catholic Church were a bit blind-sided. Some people showed up at Christmas mass and thought, “What has happened here? Where did the mass go?” It really knocked those of us who weren’t as prepared off of our rockers! Many people have rebuked the bishops for allowing this change to take place. They say that this has only confused the people and turned them [i]away[/i] from the Church. They are right; but only partially.

I was there at the first mass of the New Roman Missal. I attended mass with Bishop Provost that day. We all, him being included, stumbled through the foreign language of the new translation, but as the mass progressed we all got the hang of it. We still had a few kinks…
“The Lord be with you.”
“And also--[i]with your spirit[/i]!!”

[i] [/i]In my conversations with people who did not even know a new translation was coming, I have discovered that a greater understanding and reverence for the mass has stemmed from this surprise. No, it isn’t a language we use every day. Yes, it is a bit wordier. But isn’t that the beauty of it? The mass IS something ‘out of the ordinary’. So why should we use our everyday language? The elegant and descriptive words that now use remind us that we are experiencing [i]heaven on earth. [/i]

The wordiness does throw many people off, but it also encourages [i]full, conscious, and active [/i]participation. People don’t understand the phrases; so they go searching for answers in scripture and in Church documents.

This is why I believe, and why you should believe, that the new translation is a [i]good[/i] thing. It reminds us that the mass isn’t just aerobics with a snack. The mass is a sacrifice, an offering of worship, praise, and thanksgiving. It is not a social event.

At mass, we hear the word of God, we proclaim our faith, our [i]credo[/i], and at the climax we receive the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ under the veil of bread and wine. We are then sent out to be the body of Christ to the world.

Don’t just sit through church and say these responses; really let it echo from your heart. I think that Pope Benedict XVI’s quote says it the best: “The world promises you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.”[/size][/font] Edited by the171

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PhuturePriest
It's overall a great article. One thing that I would do because I'm weird is I would change "mass" to "Mass", but that's a personal preference.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PhuturePriest
[quote name='the171' timestamp='1347936693' post='2483557']
I said mass way too many times to even try to fix that.
[/quote]

You're nothing like me. When it comes to personal touches in writing I will go to Hell (Notice the capitalization of that 'H') and back to make sure it is up to my standards.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
the171
Well, you see... I have been working on this for days. (I actually had to write a brand new article in two hours today) I have given up on being anal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PhuturePriest
[quote name='the171' timestamp='1347936870' post='2483559']
Well, you see... I have been working on this for days. (I actually had to write a brand new article in two hours today) I have given up on being anal.
[/quote]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYY3nRrhiKs

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FutureCarmeliteClaire
I like it! Well done!

One question - it says (when referring to the argument that the new translation is driving people away), that it's "only partially true". Why is it partially true? I see where you proved it wrong, but if it's partially TRUE, what about it is correct?

Maybe I missed the part in which you conveyed that. I'm exhausted. Lol

Sorry, my critique was really trivial. I'm nit-picky. :P

I really like your writing style and how it flows.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PhuturePriest
[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1347937031' post='2483565']
I like it! Well done!

One question - it says (when referring to the argument that the new translation is driving people away), that it's "only partially true". Why is it partially true? I see where you proved it wrong, but if it's partially TRUE, what about it is correct?

Maybe I missed the part in which you conveyed that. I'm exhausted. Lol

Sorry, my critique was really trivial. I'm nit-picky. :P

I really like your writing style and how it flows.
[/quote]

Oh yeah. I was totally going to point that out too. :hehe:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
the171
Fixed

[font="Cambria","serif"][size=2]We know the responses. We know the gestures. Well, we [i]did.[/i] Then entered stage left the new translation of the Roman Missal. Many of us knew it was coming, but others who do not pay as much attention to the happenings within the institution of the Roman Catholic Church were a bit blind-sided. Some people showed up at Christmas mass and thought, “What has happened here? Where did the mass go?” It really knocked those of us who weren’t as prepared off of our rockers! Many people have rebuked the bishops for allowing this change to take place. They say that this has only confused the people and turned them [i]away[/i] from the Church. They were right about confusing the heck out of people, myself included, but I have only seen people come back to the Church since the unveiling of the new translation![/size][/font]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×