Lately I've been thinking about something...but I'm not really sure who to talk to about it. I thought of asking in another forum area of phatmass but I've mostly spoken to people here in VS, and I was afraid of starting a debate... since some of this is related to my discernment, I hope that in a way it belongs here too so I'm not breaking forum rules lol
To put it shortly: over the past couple years, I have went through some changes in regards to how I dress, etc, some related to discernment (being drawn to dressing more simply to be more detached from clothing, though I've failed in this a lot) - and some just to modesty. I also began to cover my head at church, partly due to St Padre Pio (a whole story about this) and partly because I like the Latin Mass and women there often wear mantillas, so I got used to it.
I'm trying to avoid getting any prideful thoughts about any of this because I don't do a very good job anyways, and if I made any good changes that's only thanks to God, and I'm not "better" than others.. in fact, I wouldn't say I'm a great Catholic and I struggle a lot. I know many who are better Catholics than I am. I also am not really in a position to tell other women how to dress, etc, since i'm not a priest or anyone else with authority or a prophet or saint. Furthermore I don't want to judge others based on how they dress. My point is: if you'll disagree with what I'm going to say next, - I'm not here to debate at all, - if you disagree, please still feel free to reply with any thoughts, and if you have any questions I'm sure this is a good prayer topic I'm still praying about many things related to modesty, vanity, etc.
Anyways......... currently, though I didn't always (and I didn't grow up Catholic), I try to emulate Mother Mary more in how I dress. I also try to dress in such a way that I would get into St Padre Pio's confessional (if you know the story about this!). I wear skirts, they're all longer, no low cut tops, no shoulders showing, a bit longer sleeves, etc.. I also stopped wearing makeup for some reasons though I used to wear a lot of makeup every day. Again, I'm not here to debate or give a dissertation of my reasons for this, though if anyone is interested, I can share. Some of this is related to discernment, because I wanted to be more simple so I can break some of the attachment I have to clothing and appearance (I have a big attachment to it..). With makeup, I just didn't want to change how God made me and to be more natural, and less vain as well (I'm not calling you vain if you wear makeup, but I'm vain).
My difficulty is that although dressing in this way makes me happy (I don't have to worry about being immodest, and I feel at peace about it, especially at church, and in a way I feel closer to Mary) - I'm often afraid of it because no one around me is doing the same thing. Again, I don't want to judge others, or think I'm "better" or "more devout" than them, and many of them are much better Catholics than I am. But I see that typically my Catholic friends dress in a way that is more culturally accepted, I guess, than I do... I don't know if I really stand out, I try to make my outfits match and look normal, I don't think I act "not normal" either. Hopefully.. lol. In the end, if this is God's will for me, I'd want to follow where He led me to. However, I'm always the girl who's wearing a long skirt, and I guess I feel a little discouraged and it's a little lonely sometimes. I saw some modesty websites and people who started wearing skirts full time are saying how great it is, etc, and yes there are really good things about it, and I do feel peace with it. But sometimes, I realize that I'm kind of the only one (unless I'm at the Latin Mass), and I wonder, am I doing this right?
I was just wondering.. is there anyone who can relate? or if you don't do these same things, how would you deal, in general, with doing something that's not really popular or widespread? I don't do this for attention or to appear more "devout", I hope, and I hope my primary motivation is simply to obey what I felt in my heart would be pleasing to God. I'm not saying I'm more pleasing to God than others. Although I'd be happy to see a return to this kind of clothing in general society, I know that I don't have the power to convince through argument.
Any thoughts? sorry for this enormous post...