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polskieserce

Finding Other Catholic Virgins?

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Tab'le De'Bah-Rye

Yes there are lost sheep in the holy catholic church, and than there are the prodigals whom have returned home realizing there folly. Possibly court around the catholic colleges (in Australia that is 16-18 year olds, unsure what that is in the states it may not be called college.)

Edited by Tab'le Du'Bah-Rye

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Norseman82

Witamy do Phatmass, polskieserce/psymajor. 

 

I read once on CAF about a website called virgin2virgin.com, but I think it changed to http://wewaited.com .  I don't know if it is strictly for Catholics, though.

Edited by Norseman82

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Tab'le De'Bah-Rye

<EDIT>

 

Yes there are lost sheep in the holy catholic church, and than there are the prodigals whom have returned home realizing there folly. Possibly court around the catholic colleges (in Australia that is 16-18 year olds, unsure what that is in the states it may not be called college.) Go to the car park after school and start chatting to people. But also i agree with what someone said about not discounting saving a lost sheep or helping a prodigal. But if you must, do the college car park play, there's nothing really wrong with courting there, put a nice stereo in your car and play your favored christian music up loud, but not to loud lol.  :) Maybe i'm an idiot and am totally wrong, and someone will give you a more appropriate manner in finding a virgin bride.  :)

 

Onward christian souls.

JESUS iz LORD.

 

P.s. Actually i just realized your possibly in the U.S. are the school car parks fenced in ? If so you could do the same thing at the bus interchange just after school knocks off in the afternoon and chat to some young ladies wearing catholic school uniforms. 

 

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tinytherese

Why don't you consider marrying a woman who had premarital sex but later repented? People can change. They shouldn't be looked down upon by what they did in the past, but by what they are doing in the present.

 

Then there are those who are virgins but not by choice. Maybe they've even gone as far as they can go without losing their virginity, thinking that as long as they haven't gone all the way that they're okay. Maybe they don't see anything wrong with masturbation, pornography, dressing immodestly, talking dirty, making sex jokes, or engaging in impure thoughts, but still retain their virginity.  

 

Even those who are committed to living chastely struggle and sometimes fall.

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OnlySunshine

All I have is this to say:

 

If Jesus can have mercy on someone and bring them back to the fold, why should anyone else do any different?  People make mistakes.  You might miss out on the the perfect person for you just because she doesn't meet your standards.

 

(and I am a virgin so I'm not biased)

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polskieserce

Just some advice: your "no compromise" approach might lead to problems when you get married. Marriage is one compromise after another.

 

I am fully aware that it is one compromise after another, and I'm willing to do that.  But I'm not compromising on a fundamental trait that I want from a partner.  Everyone has their list of deal-breakers in a partner that are strictly no-compromise issues.

 

 (A loaded question not intended as an attack:) 

What good does it do to date someone you wouldn't consider marrying?

 

For many reasons, to date for the sake of dating (recreationally), to see what types of personality traits you like/dislike in a girl, and for a chance to build your social network a little.

 

I had a really snarky answer for this, but I don't really know enough about the OP to be fair. I'm interested for an answer from him.

 

Well what did I do to deserve a snarky answer?  All I asked was a simple question as to the best places where I could find a virgin, that's it.  I am a virgin myself, and it's common knowledge that like attracts like.

 

First of all, welcome to Phatmass! :welcome:   And secondly, I understand where you are something from. I'm glad there is another young person on this planet who thinks the same way I do. I think you have listed most of the places to find such a person. But, remember, God works in miraculous ways. You may find your spouse in a setting you never had imagined at a time you didn't expect.

 

Definitely, I am always open to seeing if I find people in my general surroundings who I am compatible with.

 

Your views are why rape is looked at as no big deal to suburban America.  Cause it doesn't happen here to us white folk in these good rich neighborhoods.  Your attitude is the reason girls in your neighbor type get raped and don't report it.  Cause of people with your mindset that it doesn't happen, so if it does happen it must be the girls fault and she just needs to get over it an move on.  This is why girls in upper class neighborhoods get raped and don't say anything.  Attitudes just like yours. 

 

I am sorry to sound harsh but your statement is absolutely ignorant and insulting to how many women who have been raped in good neighborhoods.  Sorry to throw your world for a loop but rape spans all age groups, socio-economic status, race, gender and so on. 

 

I never said that rape NEVER happens in nice neighborhoods.  I just said it is much less common, which it is.  I am just saying that of all the "sexual assaults" that take place, only a portion of them are actual vaginal rape cases.  If a girl is molested, that can also count as sexual assault, even though it's not in the same league as rape and the incident did not claim her virginity.  In my neighborhood, I don't see vans at every street corner with pedophiles waiting to strike.

 

yknow this is a catholic forum with young catholics on it. and you said you wouldnt be opposed to meeting girls online. maybe you should ask around, there are surely lots of good single virgin catholics on here.....  :D

 

Certainly

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Maggyie

I was a Catholic virgin on my wedding night 2 years ago at age 26. My husband found me on Catholic Match. But he wasn't looking for a virgin, only.

 

I would not have dated and/or married someone who expressed your attitudes.

 

I am sure you a good person, but good people don't necessarily make the best spouses.

 

In some respects it's perfectly legitimate. You like what you like.

 

But your inclusion of girls who have been raped (actually penetrated) as having "lost their virginity" is very troubling and reflects pagan influences. The church doesn't look at it the way the world does. Virginity is a spiritual state and key to "losing it" is full knowledge and consent. The virgin martyrs were typically raped before they were killed; this doesn't make them any less virgin. Aquinas says on this topic that "even if the woman thus violated conceives, she would not for that reason forfeit her virginity.”

 

In evangelical Protestant circles it's not unusual for women to substitute sodomy for regular sex as a way of "preserving their virginity."  Is a girl who has willingly engaged in sodomy but not vaginal intercourse still a true virgin, in the Church's eyes? Of course not. But that's where the flat-footed legalistic approach leads. Such a woman technically falls into your marriage-able category, because her hymen is intact.

 

If the root of your concerns is insecurity about sexual performance (being compared to previous partners... your reference to being male specimen #24 seems to suggest this) a sex therapist or the person who conducts your premarital counseling can help you come to terms with it.

 

Your virginity is something you are maintaining to glorify God and simply to avoid mortal sin. it is not a "gift" to be carefully hoarded for a future spouse. Nor is it a "gift" to be demanded as part of the marriage dowry, so to speak.

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havok579257

 

 

 

I never said that rape NEVER happens in nice neighborhoods.  I just said it is much less common, which it is.  I am just saying that of all the "sexual assaults" that take place, only a portion of them are actual vaginal rape cases.  If a girl is molested, that can also count as sexual assault, even though it's not in the same league as rape and the incident did not claim her virginity.  In my neighborhood, I don't see vans at every street corner with pedophiles waiting to strike.

 

 

Certainly

Since your obviously so educated on rape as you imply, where are these statistics about vaginal rape being only a small number of rapes?  I would love to see facts to back up this claim.  I imagine you would have them and not just say comments to back up your argument without verifying their truth.

 

Are you serious?  I am sorry man but you are SO ignorant of rape it not funny.  This is sad.  You think rapes only happen from pedophiles in vans.  Just another reason why rich folk like yourself see no problem with rape and turn a blind eye to rape when it actually happens around you.  Let me guess, you probably think its also the women's fault for being raped?

 

I'm going to shock you here but rapists like in "rich" neighborhoods also.  They don't only drive around in vans.  They live in any house and go out with women and think they are entitled to sex because pick any reason and then rape the girl.  I honestly hope you educate yourself on rape before you have children and have a little girl. Cause one day(hopefully never) she will come to you and say she was raped and the minute she tells you it was her rich boyfriend you won't believe her and yell at her for having sex because you know that rapists only rid in vans searching for women and no respectable rich person would ever rape. 

 

Your mindset is just an example of why it is so easy to get away with rape in rich neighborhoods.  Cause you believe its not going to happen in the rich areas unless it from a so called outsider, so if a women does claim rape, well it must be her fault and she is doing it to cover up her sexual actions.  Its all the women's fault, it could never be the rich neighbor next door.  I wouldn't be surprised also if you believe a women who dresses immodestly is essentially asking to be raped and its all on her.

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havok579257

 

 

 

I never said that rape NEVER happens in nice neighborhoods.  I just said it is much less common, which it is.  I am just saying that of all the "sexual assaults" that take place, only a portion of them are actual vaginal rape cases.  If a girl is molested, that can also count as sexual assault, even though it's not in the same league as rape and the incident did not claim her virginity.  In my neighborhood, I don't see vans at every street corner with pedophiles waiting to strike.

 

 

Certainly

Since your obviously so educated on rape as you imply, where are these statistics about vaginal rape being only a small number of rapes?  I would love to see facts to back up this claim.  I imagine you would have them and not just say comments to back up your argument without verifying their truth.

 

Are you serious?  I am sorry man but you are SO ignorant of rape it not funny.  This is sad.  You think rapes only happen from pedophiles in vans.  Just another reason why rich folk like yourself see no problem with rape and turn a blind eye to rape when it actually happens around you.  Let me guess, you probably think its also the women's fault for being raped?

 

I'm going to shock you here but rapists like in "rich" neighborhoods also.  They don't only drive around in vans.  They live in any house and go out with women and think they are entitled to sex because pick any reason and then rape the girl.  I honestly hope you educate yourself on rape before you have children and have a little girl. Cause one day(hopefully never) she will come to you and say she was raped and the minute she tells you it was her rich boyfriend you won't believe her and yell at her for having sex because you know that rapists only rid in vans searching for women and no respectable rich person would ever rape. 

 

Your mindset is just an example of why it is so easy to get away with rape in rich neighborhoods.  Cause you believe its not going to happen in the rich areas unless it from a so called outsider, so if a women does claim rape, well it must be her fault and she is doing it to cover up her sexual actions.  Its all the women's fault, it could never be the rich neighbor next door.  I wouldn't be surprised also if you believe a women who dresses immodestly is essentially asking to be raped and its all on her.

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ardillacid

 where are these statistics about vaginal rape being only a small number of rapes? 

 

He did not say that or imply that. He said that it is a portion, less than 100%. Cool your jets. 

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Lil Red

I was a Catholic virgin on my wedding night 2 years ago at age 26. My husband found me on Catholic Match. But he wasn't looking for a virgin, only.

 

I would not have dated and/or married someone who expressed your attitudes.

 

I am sure you a good person, but good people don't necessarily make the best spouses.

 

In some respects it's perfectly legitimate. You like what you like.

 

But your inclusion of girls who have been raped (actually penetrated) as having "lost their virginity" is very troubling and reflects pagan influences. The church doesn't look at it the way the world does. Virginity is a spiritual state and key to "losing it" is full knowledge and consent. The virgin martyrs were typically raped before they were killed; this doesn't make them any less virgin. Aquinas says on this topic that "even if the woman thus violated conceives, she would not for that reason forfeit her virginity.”

 

In evangelical Protestant circles it's not unusual for women to substitute sodomy for regular sex as a way of "preserving their virginity."  Is a girl who has willingly engaged in sodomy but not vaginal intercourse still a true virgin, in the Church's eyes? Of course not. But that's where the flat-footed legalistic approach leads. Such a woman technically falls into your marriage-able category, because her hymen is intact.

 

If the root of your concerns is insecurity about sexual performance (being compared to previous partners... your reference to being male specimen #24 seems to suggest this) a sex therapist or the person who conducts your premarital counseling can help you come to terms with it.

 

Your virginity is something you are maintaining to glorify God and simply to avoid mortal sin. it is not a "gift" to be carefully hoarded for a future spouse. Nor is it a "gift" to be demanded as part of the marriage dowry, so to speak.

 

best post. b00m. 

 

boomheadshot.jpg

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havok579257

I was a Catholic virgin on my wedding night 2 years ago at age 26. My husband found me on Catholic Match. But he wasn't looking for a virgin, only.

 

I would not have dated and/or married someone who expressed your attitudes.

 

I am sure you a good person, but good people don't necessarily make the best spouses.

 

In some respects it's perfectly legitimate. You like what you like.

 

But your inclusion of girls who have been raped (actually penetrated) as having "lost their virginity" is very troubling and reflects pagan influences. The church doesn't look at it the way the world does. Virginity is a spiritual state and key to "losing it" is full knowledge and consent. The virgin martyrs were typically raped before they were killed; this doesn't make them any less virgin. Aquinas says on this topic that "even if the woman thus violated conceives, she would not for that reason forfeit her virginity.”

 

In evangelical Protestant circles it's not unusual for women to substitute sodomy for regular sex as a way of "preserving their virginity."  Is a girl who has willingly engaged in sodomy but not vaginal intercourse still a true virgin, in the Church's eyes? Of course not. But that's where the flat-footed legalistic approach leads. Such a woman technically falls into your marriage-able category, because her hymen is intact.

 

If the root of your concerns is insecurity about sexual performance (being compared to previous partners... your reference to being male specimen #24 seems to suggest this) a sex therapist or the person who conducts your premarital counseling can help you come to terms with it.

 

Your virginity is something you are maintaining to glorify God and simply to avoid mortal sin. it is not a "gift" to be carefully hoarded for a future spouse. Nor is it a "gift" to be demanded as part of the marriage dowry, so to speak.

 

 

would give this 1000 props

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Norseman82

good people don't necessarily make the best spouses.

 

 

Virginity issues aside, as a general note I find this statement to be very sad from a Catholic/Christian perspective.  Jesus said something about where your heart is, there your treasure lies.  It's very interesting to see where many Catholics' hearts are when seeking a spouse. 

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Lil Red

Virginity issues aside, as a general note I find this statement to be very sad from a Catholic/Christian perspective.  Jesus said something about where your heart is, there your treasure lies.  It's very interesting to see where many Catholics' hearts are when seeking a spouse. 

 

i'm not sure what you mean by your statement? :unsure: 

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Lil Red

i guess Maggie's sentence about "good persons" could be taken several different ways, so maybe Maggie can clarify what she meant by that sentence? 

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Norseman82

i'm not sure what you mean by your statement? :unsure:

 

It means what do Catholics look for in a spouse?  How high a priority is "being a good Catholic" on the list?

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Norseman82

i guess Maggie's sentence about "good persons" could be taken several different ways, so maybe Maggie can clarify what she meant by that sentence? 

 

I would like to think that if one were not a good spouse that would reflect on whether one was really a good person.

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CatholicsAreKewl
In Iran, Virgin prisoners were raped before their execution so they wouldn't go straight to heaven. To be honest, saving sex for marriage is a kink. If this pmer wants a virgin, it's not that big of a deal. While I don't think anyone recommends this being his first priority, whatever. His life. #yolo Edited by CatholicsAreKewl

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polskieserce

Of course I don't think people who engage in sodomy are virgins.  That is also a form of sex, which counts as loosing one's virginity.  I am aware that some people actually do that because they have a bizarre concept of virginity, but rest assured that I'm crossing those people off my list as well.

 

Regarding rape, I don't understand why some of you are twisting my words to say that rape never happens in certain areas, or that it's the girls fault.  I didn't put words in your mouth, so please don't put words in mine.  Regarding sexual assault, I never said that rape constitutes 1% of sexual assaults.  I just said it does not constitute 100% of sexual assaults.  The main point I'm trying to make is that most girls loose their physical virginity because they willfully chose to sin, not because someone forced them to have sex.  Some of you are ignoring this fact and are trying to derail the conversation and attack me by twisting my view and making me seem like a terrible person for not overlooking a girl's virginity.

 

In some way, shape, or form, a lot of posts on her are all harping on one question, either directly or indirectly: "Why don't you just give up and settle for a non-virgin who is a practicing Catholic now.  Let me give a detailed answer, so there's no doubt where I stand on the issue.  The simple answer is NO, I will not get with a non-virgin woman, even if she is practicing Catholicism at this point in time, for these reasons:

 

1.  If a girl has been sleeping around in high school and college, and then goes back to the church, it raises questions about her motives.  Is she really repenting out of a genuine desire to follow ALL of God's rules from that point on?  Or is she doing that just because she wants to get a church wedding and sees Catholicism as a convenient backdrop for justifying a LEGALLY/FINANCIALLY (not spiritually) obsolete institution (marriage) to a man in a country where the divorce laws are set up against the man?

 

2.  It's an issue of respect.  I realize that people sin and make mistakes, but virginity is something that strikes very close to home between a man and woman.  I'm not going to lie that I would feel insulted and disrespected if a girl I dated gave herself out to someone else like that.  Everyone is different and some of you don't care, but this is how I am.

 

3.  That's what it will take me to feel like the relationship is truly special.  In our world, there is plenty of cheating, no end in sight to the abortion holocaust, and an insane divorce rate.  The dating world is a mine field, with no shortage of things that can go horribly wrong.  I want someone who could have at least waited a couple of years from the time of pubuerty, until marriage, because it shows that they were able to hold out and not just be dirty like everyone else.  I want a sign that my future relationship with a woman is going to be SPECIAL, and not like everyone else.  I don't want it to be the same old story of two non-virgins sleeping around in their youth, getting married (while still not taking god seriously), and then getting divorced after a couple of years and a few kids.  I don't want that to be me.  I want to see a sign that you are different from the rest and held out where others failed.  If a girl was able to turn down offers for casual sex for over a decade WITHOUT slipping up, then that's a very powerful sign that a girl is crossing heaven and earth to let her future spouse know that he is loved and that he is the only man worthy of such a special and powerful gift.  It's a strong sign that her desire to make the marriage work is so bright, that it can truly last a lifetime.

 

4.  This reason is overlapping with reasons 3.  I'm just not willing to put that much effort into a relationship if I already have strong doubts from the beginning that it's not going to work.  Marriage is one of the most difficult exercises in spirituality a person can do.  I don't want to be disgraced 1/2 way through life because my wife who had been looser early on decided to bail on me for whatever reason.  I am not willing to take a higher risk for being crushed as a human being.  I would be taking a higher risk with a non-virgin than a virgin.  I would rather go through life solo than settle for someone like that.

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