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'spousal' Imagery In The Lives Of The Saints, And Ours ...


MarysLittleFlower

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MarysLittleFlower

I have a question and I apologize if it's kind of more personal. I think it would be good to maybe ask a Sister and clarify with my SD (because I kind of spoke to him about it before but not enough, and I get so nervous lol). But I was wondering, what would you say to a person who was drawn to 'bridal' or 'spousal' type of imagery in our relationship with Christ, and yet was kind of afraid of it too? When I say 'afraid' I mean, afraid of being somehow too informal or even "irreverent". I should clarify, I don't actually think it's irreverent.

 

I sometimes read about the Saints. There are a lot of things that happened to them that are quite extraordinary and beautiful. Ideas like receiving Jesus in Communion, being united with Him, being hidden in His Sacred Heart, etc, - are all very intimate but this is not quite what I mean. I'm talking about using more 'spousal' language, being a bride of Christ, or some things that happened to the Saints. For example, being embraced by Our Lord. Or how He asked Blessed Sr Maria Pierina to kiss His Holy Face (this was in reparation). Or how a Saint would kiss the wound in His Heart, or even receive His Precious Blood from His wound. Or just talking to Him very lovingly and not as 'formally'. When I think of these Saints, all I see is their love. I don't see anything disrespectful, but less incorrect somehow, especially because often Jesus was the one who led them to this in the first place, so it must be alright. I don't have doubts that it's truly Jesus who spoke to them. When I think of myself, though, I get drawn to spousal type of imagery or language, and to the other ideas, almost despite myself, lol, because in my mind I get afraid if I'm being somehow too informal. But I think it would hurt Jesus if we wanted to be distant from Him and talk to Him like to a stranger, too. I love reverence, and I think it's great to fear offending God, and being humble: but I know Jesus also wants us to be trusting and open to Him.

 

I don't really know where this fear comes from... maybe if all I ever read about where these Saint stories, I think it would be okay. Maybe one part of is that my mind has been sadly corrupted by the world. I think if a person had past struggles with impurity, or saw horrible blasphemies that they accidently came across on the internet, or read about people commenting on all this and seeing nothing spiritual about it, that could all contribute. In my will, I agree with the Saints. I'm also drawn to this imagery and then I get fearful and start questioning my motives. But this really hurts in a way because I want to be closer to Jesus, since I love Him, and I don't want to be distant.

 

Sorry for this very personal sort of topic... it's just this reoccurring fear. What would you say to a person like this? How can this fear be resolved? I think speaking to my SD could help clarify a lot. But before then, do you have any advice? I also really want to spend some time in prayer, maybe at Adoration. I think if someone really does have some sort of temptation to malice or impurity, or if they are kind of selfish about spiritual consolations (which I can be), that's one thing, but what if this is based on love and reparation?

 

Whenever I think of being Jesus' bride, I mean if He calls me, it's so beautiful and I understand it's spiritual and meaningful. But then I remember how the world must look at it all, and I just get sad and discouraged. I know it actually matters what Jesus thinks, so I get I need to ask Him. I remember long ago, I had a similar question about venerating images, but I think I'm beginning to understand more that it's more general than that.

 

I know it's kind of strange posting something like this on the phorum, but it's even more frightening to me talking to someone in person, except my SD who knows a lot about me.

Edited by MarysLittleFlower
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BarbTherese

How can this fear be resolved? I think speaking to my SD could help clarify a lot

 

 

I think that your fear may best be resolved through spiritual direction.  The Lord treats us all as absolutely unique (which each of us is in fact), which I guess is one of the reasons we have spiritual directors, to discern how and where the Holy Spirit is leading and to guide the person directed in that path.

 

I posted this into another forum by Bl John Henry Newman:


"God knows what is my greatest happiness, but I do not

 

There is no rule about what is happy and good; what suits one would not suit another.

  •  
  • And the ways by which perfection is reached vary very much;
  •  
  • the medicines necessary for our souls are very different from each other.
  •  
  • Thus God leads us by strange ways.
  •  
  • We know he wills our happiness, but we neither know what our happiness is, nor the way.
  •  
  • We are blind. Left to ourselves we would take the wrong way; we must leave it to him.
  •  
  • Let us put ourselves into his hands and not be startled even though he leads us by a strange way, a mirabilis via, as the Church speaks. Let us be sure he will lead us right, that he will bring us to that which is, not indeed what we think best, nor what is best for another, but what is best for us."
  •  

 

 

The saints do not (to my knowledge) suddenly arrive at great holiness and mystical experiences (similar to the one's you have mentioned).  Very often it can be a long and troubled road of many or some (most often many) confusing matters - suffering.  It is a road of purification in the main - of the soul's increasing growth in virtue as it draws closer to Jesus.  But this growth in virtue is not obvious very often to the person themselves, rather quite contrary matters can increasingly surface in consciousness - but it does become obvious to one's director ideally.

   

    Fear could be a temptation of satan to attempt to dissuade you from a holy path in life that will lead to your sanctification, or fear could be coming from yourself for some reason and these reasons can be complex.  It is up to your director (who knows you very well) to try to discern these things out and to lead you along the best path i.e. that of the Holy Spirit.  The path or road along which The Holy Spirit leads each person are probably endless in details - and rather than either you or perhaps even your spiritual director 'sighting' the whole road ahead for you, it is an appointment by appointment, more or less matter,  The road just unfolds as your days and moment pass living in The Will of God which is primarily to avoid sin and resist temptation and to grow in virtue as each situation might ask.

 

When I say 'afraid' I mean, afraid of being somehow too informal or even "irreverent". I should clarify, I don't actually think it's irreverent.

 

You probably have a conflict here to resolve.  A matter for your spiritual director.

 

 

 

 But I think it would hurt Jesus if we wanted to be distant from Him and talk to Him like to a stranger, too. I love reverence, and I think it's great to fear offending God, and being humble: but I know Jesus also wants us to be trusting and open to Him.

 

 

Put the above to your director too.

 

  • You need to speak to him about your fears
  • Also about your very real attraction to spousal matters in your spiritual life and prayer

 

Have you thought about either a list of what you want to discuss, or even a letter to your director preceding your next appointment?

 

Were it me, I would not attempt to 'direct myself' nor take on board what might be said on a Catholic Discussion site - me included -  (which would be trying to 'direct myself').  Rather I would leave myself in the hands of my director and I am presupposing that your director is educated and holy and that you are at Peace in his or her hands.  If not, then you need to talk with your director about these things.

 

I am presupposing too that your director is helping you to discern consecrated life and which form is your potential vocation in life.

Edited by BarbaraTherese
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BarbTherese

I wouldn't be concerned, were it me, about talking with Jesus (prayer) using words of great love and endearment or spousal as you term it.  To my heart, there is nothing wrong in this - it is one's own heart talking to His and in words of love.  But you really do need to put this to your director and follow his or her instructions to you in Peace. 

 

 I also really want to spend some time in prayer, maybe at Adoration. I think if someone really does have some sort of temptation to malice or impurity, or if they are kind of selfish about spiritual consolations (which I can be), that's one thing, but what if this is based on love and reparation?

 

 

Are you avoiding prayer and not a good move at all.  If someone has a temptation to malice or impurity, these cannot be based on love of The Lord and reparation to His Sacred Heart.  Malice and impurity are most often sinful unless strictly temptation not taken up into some kind of deliberate action -  and are defintely not a work of The Holy Spirit at all, nor is selfishness about spiritual consolations.  But I am really unsure of what you actually mean in what you wrote above - and not my business really to know, rather it is for your director to know and discern, guide.

 

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BarbTherese

The only real thing that brings grief to the Heart of Jesus is sin.  Along our road, our journey, we can stumble into many things that are faults and failings.  In our many faults and failings, Jesus (as it were) reaches down and embraces us with great Love and Compassion, His Understanding Mercy at our human foibles and weaknesses - He draws us into His Heart of Great Mercy.  It is never a matter of what I can do for Jesus so much as what He can do in me if I will only let Him and working in me, at once reach out into His world with that some Love and Compassion, Understanding Mercy.

 

Sin, however, of any degree is to turn away from Jesus consciously in some way.  But even our insight into what exactly sin is and is not will change and grow over our journey in all likelihood.  And for the most holy, it is not of necessity at all going to be a road from success to success in the main and of some degree on perhaps any level whatsoever - or apparent success to the one who is journeying I mean.  This is not a generalization for all, but a rather common rule of thumb that is a relatively good guide at times.  The plus in lack of success of any degree can be growth in humility and it's foundation of self knowledge.

Edited by BarbaraTherese
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BarbaraTherese covered lots of ground so I won't add much. I think it's important to explore your ideas, your relationship with Jesus and your intentions with an SD. Spirituality that leads you into a deeper love for God wouldn't be a bad thing, but approaching and resting with God in that deep love can be scary because it goes to the core of our soul -  the essence of a cultivating a pure heart.

Most of us have mixed motives and complicated perceptions in our relationships- so it can be painful to see ourselves for what we are in an encounter with God. ​There are aspects where spousal ideas could become sinful or lead to temptations, but an SD should help you explore these ideas and energies so they don't trap you. Pure love always requires sacrifice and effort, especially through the dry and challenging periods when it doesn't feel like we are reciprocated or making any progress,  But in perseverance, so the saints show us, we can and God knows the efforts and intentions of our hearts.
 

 
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tinytherese

I remember being in middle school when I first heard that a nun or religious sister is often described as being a Bride of Christ. At first, I thought that that was too weird, like kissing your brother on the lips. Over time though, I came to see that the image wasn't meant to be perverted. The image of the bride is to describe how a nun or religious sister gives herself completely without reserve to Jesus.

 

Also, look at the Song of Songs in Holy Scripture. Taken out of context, you'd wonder what a book about a newly-wed couple talking about their relationship is doing in the Bible, particularly when they describe the physical traits of each other. I've read part of a book called "The Cantata of Love: A Verse by Verse Reading of The Song of songs by Blaise Arminjon." Some of what it says might help you.

 

"We are naturally always more inclined to think that human love comes first. 'Therefore, when one reproaches mysticism', writes Bergson in an admirable passage of Deux soures, 'for exxpressing itself in the manner of a loving passion, one forgets that it was love that plagarized mysticism and borrowed from all its fervor, drive and estasy.' (35).

 

Romantic love between a man and a woman is used as an image that God uses to help describe to us what our relationship with Him is supposed to be.

 

" 'Such passages,' writes Saint John of the Cross, 'if they are not read in the simplicity of the spirit of love and of intelligence that fills them, might seem to be rather extravagant and not a sensible discourse; as can be seen in the Songs of Solomon and other treatises of Holy Scripture in which the Holy Spirit, not being able to express a deep meaning in common and vulgar words, uses veiled terms with images and strange similitudes'

 

The risk is in face so great that if the eyes are not sufficiently purified, one can be trapped by the sensual aspect of the images and words" (41-42).

 

"God is the one who, in his desire to touch the heart of man, does not hesitate to use the language that is most accessible to his sensibilities. 'He stooped', Saint Gregory of Nyssa says, 'to the language of our weakness.' Just as the Word had one day to empty itself in our flesh and to take on the lowliness of our condition, he did from the start of his revelation empty himself in his written word, committing himself to our words and carnal images" (42). He "stoops to our level" to "raise up our understanding" (42-43).

 

I could be misinterpreting The Cantata of Love wrong, but it seems that the solution to this problem is to become properly educated in love of God (44).

 

 

 

 

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MarysLittleFlower

Thanks for the helpful responses! :) I wanted to just address some points that were brought up. I am planning on speaking to a priest, but the priest who I usually tell about my spiritual life, I can't see him at this  moment because of distance. Hopefully I'll see him soon.

 

I completely agree that:

the mystical life is not all about consolations, but there is love shown through actions and suffering

we should look at it spiritually, as St John of the Cross said, and seek to be purified

 

The part that was worded confusingly, perhaps - about impurity and malice - I meant that I'm referring to it NOT being impurity or malice in intent, rather reparation and love. :) because even then, I get a little afraid, just because of this question. If it's malice or impurity, that's different. For example... there are times I feel moved to kiss Jesus' Holy Face on His images simply to offer as something loving in reparation for sin, - like how I mentioned in my OP. I understand that: I'm not a saint, I'm really unworthy and nothing like the saints I mentioned. I'm a big sinner. That frightens me too. Sometimes, despite myself, I just want to love Him anyways, more than I do. Anyways, for me now I try to make this about reparation and also think about what love is - because it's not just consolations. In the past, I'd get attached to the consolations and begin seeking them, and at times it became something too self-centered, and I felt this during prayer. I also didn't always live purely and sometimes temptations would come back. I find when I just focus on loving Him and reparation, it's not about me, and I'm not seeking any consolations, and it becomes about the intention and not about the feelings - and that helps it to also be more pure. That's what I want to talk to my priest about: if that's okay then. Because I feel peace about it sometimes after, but my mind gets fearful later on. I need to just talk about it perhaps. Sometimes I get so afraid about my motives, but I think if I just focus  on Jesus and not on myself, that helps to make it all pure, spiritual, loving, and - I do need to keep praying for humility.

 

I think one reason spirituality could become spousal, is because God's love is so unitive, I mean in the way we experience it... so we want to be one with Him and close to Him, of course this is spiritual, very holy! I just hope these are intentions! Sometimes I get fearful cause I don't know myself fully. But I try to have good intentions.

 

I'm typing this really fast because I have to run somewhere, sorry if this makes no sense at all! I just thought I'd respond a bit more because you all put so much thought in the posts! :) God bless!

Edited by MarysLittleFlower
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MarysLittleFlower

I should also clarify, I don't mean really regarding spiritual consolation or just feeling close to God...or the parts of the spousal spirituality that are based on suffering, reparation, putting Jesus first, giving things up for Him, etc. I mean more about the examples I made in my first post. Of course, I don't expect to receive something like this during this life. This can't be presumed upon, it can only be God's choice, and I'm so ridiculously unworthy lol. But I still think about it sometimes when I think about Heaven, or praying/reflecting, or venerating images, etc, and just what one's desires are. I know if someone wants to do something out of malice, impurity, - that shouldn't be. I also know it shouldn't be something selfish and just about ourselves, it's better if it's about Jesus. That way there's also more love. But let's say someone just felt love for God and wanted to - I don't know, - just using an example here - to kiss Jesus' wound in His Heart, - out of reparation or to show love. Let's say they then kissed their crucifix. Is *this* okay? What if at the same time there's a desire to be close to Him, how do we then not make it into something selfish? is it the intention? I know this is really for an SD, but maybe anyone has any thoughts, who is more experienced. You're welcome to send me a private message if you wish not to post here. I'm only posting cause i'm so confused. I hope I'm not confusing anyone :(

Edited by MarysLittleFlower
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BarbTherese

Were it me only, I would strive to be little and humble in all things with great trust and confidence in Jesus until my next appointment with my director.  A sort of 'spiritual marking time' (although to great spiritual profit) until one can speak with one's director over some point or points that are pressing.  Ask Him to help you with your next appointment to both explain and grasp what your spiritual director has to say.

               Littleness and humility will win the Heart of The Lord and bring much consolation to Him because our trust and confidence is not in ourselves nor in any sort of concept whatsoever, but totally in Him.  He Who Is! He will not lead you astray.  Never.  In Grace, The Holy Spirit is with you guiding you in the Footsteps of Jesus to The Glory of The Father - and the Fruits of The Holy Spirit are:  

 

http://www.drbo.org/x/d?b=drb&bk=21&ch=33&l=15#x

  #1832 fruits of the Spirit are perfections that the Holy Spirit forms in us as the first fruits of eternal glory. The tradition of the Church lists twelve of them: "charity, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, modesty, self-control, chastity."

 

The way, it could be said, that The Holy Spirit leads us to produce His Fruits are His Seven Gifts at Confirmation: Wisdom, Understanding, Counsel, Knowledge, Fortitude, Piety and Fear of The Lord.  Mind you "Fear of The Lord" is not our human "afraid" but rather a great awe and amazement to be in the Presence of God at all and one of His beloved creatures with a unique identity etc. etc.  It is more great awe and amazement than anything. 

                  But we don't get there in one great leap, most often we arrive at it slowly and it may well begin with fear of sin and fear of our past. Fear of The Right The Lord has to withhold Himself from our sins or our past.  We can 'meander' too! One moment or period in absolute awe at all the previous, the next overcome by our sinfulness or our past.

The Spirit leads as He May.

 

 

I am wondering if you ever give time to reading Church Documents, Scripture and/or the Catholic Catechism.  Doesn't have to be a focused study just even 15mins or so each day or week even.But don't force yourself to read these if it brings only repugnance.  Mark time until you see your spiritual director.

 

Apologies if I got you wrong in places - I write with some trepidation.............to my way of thought and especially since you do have a spiritual director, this is all his or her domain, not mine!

 

 

Edited by BarbaraTherese
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AccountDeleted

MLF - I'm not really sure where your problem lies. You want to love Jesus and feel closer to Him. Wonderful. You want to use spousal or bridal imagery in the process. Wonderful.

 

So wherein lies the problem? I think you worry too much (easy for me to say) about your motivations or intentions. From what you have written, it seems that your motives are simple and pure - you want to love Jesus and you want to make reparation for sin. Again, sounds wonderful.

 

So what exactly is the problem? You ask if it's ok to kiss your crucifix. Well, since millions of Catholics kiss their crucifixes when they pray the Rosary - why should this be a concern to you? You want to kiss a picture of Jesus. Well, you're human, you want a focus for your affection - and you probably have a favorite picture of Him that gives you comfort or inspires you. Kissing the picture isn't going to hurt.

 

Others have posted that there could be a problem with confusing the spousal imagery with some kind of sensual feelings. you seem to state that this is not the case. So if your feelings are simply loving and reverent, then what could possibly be wrong with this?

 

Do you see my confusion? I am just not quite sure what you are so worried about. But I don't want to take your concern lightly since it is important to you, so let me try to respond with some of my own ideas - whether they are helpful or not I will leave up to you.

 

There was another thread all about bridal imagery that I really thought caused more confusion than necessary because of its emphasis on rules and regulations. To me it is so simple. Our souls are meant to be united with God. And God Himself through holy scripture has used bridal imagery to talk about this union. Our human relationships, although potentially beautiful and spiritual) are a very pale shadow of the union that God wants with each soul that He has created. And the Incarnation wasn't an accident. God wanted to help us come closer to Him, to know Him and love Him, so he took on our humanity to do this. Jesus set us an example as well as offering Himself as reparation. This way He could become to each one of us, whatever we need to help bring us closer to Him. For some this is as brother, a friend, a teacher. For others, as spouse.

 

No two people relate to Jesus in quite the same way - even if they use similar imagery to do so. So even if two people were both using bridal imagery, their relationships with Jesus would still not be exactly the same. that is why there is no room for us to be jealous of each other or to compare our 'status' within the Church. To Him, each soul is unique and individual and with each soul God wants a union of love. How we respond to that invitation is up to us. And there is nothing to say that our imagery won't change over time, or even just from time to time.

 

In a human relationship, it isn't always about romance, is it? There are times when the couple need to be comforting or supportive to one another. At other times, they might just enjoy the experience of shared joy and happiness. Our relationship with God is like that. At one time, we might feel the romantic touch of our Lover, but at another, we could be feeling happy and grateful or perhaps we might be in need of comfort or support. And, for some of us, there might even be times when we want to 'fight' with God - when we feel let down or hurt or disappointed and don't know why things have to be so hard. A relationship isn't stagnant - it is a living expression of love between two people or between the soul and God.

 

Perhaps one of the things you need to work on, with God's help, is trust. Trusting in yourself, that your love is pure and holy, trusting in God that he knows you inside and out, and loves you, and will allow you to find your own way to express your love for Him. God is big. Bigger than anything we can imagine. That's why we need Jesus - the human face of God for us. Take all of your concerns and worries about this to Him in prayer. Spend as much time as you need doing this. It isn't a problem for Him. How can you love Him with all your heart if you spend so much time worrying about how you love Him?? :) Relax and smile a little at yourself. He loves you more than you can possibly imagine.

 

 

Edited by nunsense
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domenica_therese

Maybe I'm totally misreading your post, but if your concern is that it's too great a presumption to assume that you -- who are "unworthy" -- could, by kissing the face of Christ, do reparation for the many offenses committed against Him, I wouldn't worry about that. You are worthy because you are loved, and you love because you are loved. His face gets buffeted enough every day; if you have a genuine desire to kiss it out of love that is beautiful and I would say follow it. If I wanted to do something like that out of reparation it would be forced, and I think I'd be doing it just to do it more than doing it out of love -- like a spiritual pride thing, you know? -- because it's not something I'm naturally pulled to do. It's something I'd arrive at the idea of doing as the result of some sort of intellectual pondering, like "Oh, wouldn't this be a holy thing to do!"; that would be getting things backwards. It doesn't seem to me that this is your case -- I'm just illustrating why I think you needn't worry by giving a counter-example.

 

I'm about 80% sure St. Therese had a crucifix she kissed all the time and that I saw it when I was in Lisieux; don't refrain just because there's not a "St." in front of your name yet. Jacques Philippe wrote a really nice little book on prayer called Time for Godand one of the most helpful things (for me) that he said there was that if we shrink from prayer or outward manifestations of religiosity because we aren't holy enough or aren't saints yet, we'll never get to the point where we are holy enough.

 

 

 

So what exactly is the problem? You ask if it's ok to kiss your crucifix. Well, since millions of Catholics kiss their crucifixes when they pray the Rosary - why should this be a concern to you? You want to kiss a picture of Jesus. Well, you're human, you want a focus for your affection - and you probably have a favorite picture of Him that gives you comfort or inspires you. Kissing the picture isn't going to hurt.

 

 

 

I just wanted to add to this that St. Teresa of Avila (a doctor of the Church) actually encouraged her nuns to carry an image of Christ inside their habit close to their chest which they could pull out and use as a focus point for meditation. 

 

I would also recommend reading up on St. Gertrude the Great -- in particular, the book Herald of Divine Love (I haven't personally read it, but one of my friends recently did and has been telling me all about it). Gertrude was worried she didn't show sufficient reverence towards God and Christ told her that he calls some to greater reverence, and some to greater intimacy. Each is beautiful.

Edited by domenica_therese
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MarysLittleFlower

I see my post wasn't very clear.. perhaps it's because this is just a generally difficult topic to talk about. I'll try to say it more simply. Right now, I try to make my motives to be reparation or showing love to Jesus. If I just feel close to Him spiritually with no imagery at all, I don't really get these questions. But if there's imagery that seems a little 'spousal' to me, like how I described in my first post, - I'm very drawn to it but I don't know what to think  of myself sometimes. This is maybe because of mistakes I've made in the past. I think because of my past and being a sinner, at some points - I got some impure temptations as well, which is scary. :( But what was more common, was just making it all about me, seeking consolations or comfort, and because the imagery is kind of physical in nature too, the emotions or images would be maybe more sensually-based. I eventually realized that I was being too selfish, and when I try not to be, then it's less of that. But the imagery is still there, it maybe feels different, and is more about Jesus (and for example, wanting to give reparation). Maybe two doubts or fears I keep running into are... is such imagery okay? I think with the saints it was okay... and sometimes I feel much peace from it, maybe when my intention is more pure. Maybe it's because everything in our culture is so sexualized, I don't know, maybe it's because of how this imagery would be viewed from a more 'secular' point of view, but I get afraid, if I'm not doing something disrespectful and rather - bold. The second fear just comes from the intensity of it all, even though all I feel is love... but because it's combined with these images, and because there are very 'human' expressions - even when the intention is simply to show love, I wonder again about the imagery. I guess my question is really about the imagery. IS it okay? THe funny thing is, is that with the saints, I don't question it at all. I'm so edified when I read about them. I'm just scared of myself, and all my weakness. I don't know........  :blush:  sometimes it's just so similar to human love, but more intense, and combined with other things like worship and reparation etc - but the human expressions of love are still there. Hmm I can only imagine what some non Catholics might think coming across this thread :unsure:  I don't want to scandalize anyone. I'm not talking about impure images or feelings. Just kind of really intense or all-consuming feeling of love, combined with this type of imagery, so that's what my question is about. Of course since I don't actually have mystical visions, I end up just kissing an image of Jesus instead, and giving that to Him, again usually in reparation nowadays since i'm trying to avoid seeking consolations too much. I'm also a big sinner and a really weak person sooo... that just adds to the whole thing, because I feel so unworthy to even imagine such familiarity with Our Lord. That's why I get afraid, if I'm being irreverent. I get overwhelmed with it all sometimes, or with other things, - because I'm so unworthy. If I were to meet Jesus... I understand kissing His feet in reverence and crying over my sins. That's about me. Then I read about a Saint embracing Jesus on the Cross and kissing the wound in His Heart fervently - beautiful, yes.. and she lived a holy life and was so humble and pure... but is it too much for me? I don't want to be distrustful either. Then when I feel drawn to something like that, I sometimes get afraid but - we can't really command what we feel, right. I felt similarly 'shy' with some language, just because it's so expressive, but I think it pleases Jesus if we talk to Him in the most loving way we can, from the heart. I think it would be sad to speak to Him like to a business associate. He is after all, closer to us than a human spouse can be.

 

I think I said it all finally. I don't discuss such things with anyone, and maybe the questions got the better of me. Yup I'll speak with my priest, somehow I need to figure out how to do that, and pray for courage, because certain things are hard to write but even harder to say.

Edited by MarysLittleFlower
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MarysLittleFlower

Maybe I'm totally misreading your post, but if your concern is that it's too great a presumption to assume that you -- who are "unworthy" -- could, by kissing the face of Christ, do reparation for the many offenses committed against Him, I wouldn't worry about that. You are worthy because you are loved, and you love because you are loved. His face gets buffeted enough every day; if you have a genuine desire to kiss it out of love that is beautiful and I would say follow it. If I wanted to do something like that out of reparation it would be forced, and I think I'd be doing it just to do it more than doing it out of love -- like a spiritual pride thing, you know? -- because it's not something I'm naturally pulled to do. It's something I'd arrive at the idea of doing as the result of some sort of intellectual pondering, like "Oh, wouldn't this be a holy thing to do!"; that would be getting things backwards. It doesn't seem to me that this is your case -- I'm just illustrating why I think you needn't worry by giving a counter-example.

 

I'm about 80% sure St. Therese had a crucifix she kissed all the time and that I saw it when I was in Lisieux; don't refrain just because there's not a "St." in front of your name yet. Jacques Philippe wrote a really nice little book on prayer called Time for Godand one of the most helpful things (for me) that he said there was that if we shrink from prayer or outward manifestations of religiosity because we aren't holy enough or aren't saints yet, we'll never get to the point where we are holy enough.

 

 

 

I just wanted to add to this that St. Teresa of Avila (a doctor of the Church) actually encouraged her nuns to carry an image of Christ inside their habit close to their chest which they could pull out and use as a focus point for meditation. 

 

I would also recommend reading up on St. Gertrude the Great -- in particular, the book Herald of Divine Love (I haven't personally read it, but one of my friends recently did and has been telling me all about it). Gertrude was worried she didn't show sufficient reverence towards God and Christ told her that he calls some to greater reverence, and some to greater intimacy. Each is beautiful.

 

Thanks for the post! if I offer any reparation to Him at all, truthfully that would be very incredible, but I do believe, He just wants our love. :) If I thought about it and reflected before hand, I think I'd be all prideful too - and who knows, I'm sure I have all sorts of hidden pride anyway. I think the only reason it's not forced at times, is because of the pull I feel towards this.. I know I'm probably making my spiritual life sound a certain way, but I'm quite ordinary, and if anything happens it's only because of God's mercy.. maybe I'm too weak without consolations, who knows. Anyways, I'm just saying that - I'm sure it would be forced and arrogant for me otherwise, - unless I really loved like a saint and only thought of Him amidst spiritual trials, or something. Thanks for the recommendations! :) I actually bought the booklet about St Gertrude a while ago because it was recommended on this forum. I love how Jesus talks about confidence there, it's really amazing and just shows so much of His love for us. :) I now want to buy the book about St Gertrude's life. I remember the part about reverence and love, and how each is beautiful :) About the whole question, I start wondering either if the imagery is okay (for me, not for the Saints), and I don't always understand what happens to me, I mean even when my intentions are less selfish.

 

Okay I feel so ashamed having talked about this so much, lol, I'd just welcome any wise advice (all your advice has been great :)) and I'm sorry for having went on about this.

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MarysLittleFlower

Also, I know we shouldn't worry too much about what 'the world' thinks, but it really frightens me sometimes to think about how some people might potentially view someone's desire to be Jesus' bride, etc. With this point of view, then the only reason I'm drawn to Jesus in this way has nothing to do with spirituality. In the secular view, getting 'married' to Jesus is like having a wedding without a groom, they'd see it as something make belief or strange. I don't have any doubts about Jesus. But I've been exposed to some of these views before and I felt hurt.. because they were seeing the very concept (not just my approach to it) as something else. It's as if - if I found a boyfriend, I'd find "real love" and would have to stop "pretending". How can any guy compare to Jesus is beyond me. I hope that people who say this would get to experience His love, and they'd see it's so beautiful and not pretend. Or, in some other instances, people (usually educated people) would talk this way about some of the Saints. :( I'm not going to say who though, it wasn't here anyway. Maybe they just needed to look at the language they used in a different way, I don't know. Our culture is so sexualized too, so maybe some these individuals were affected by our culture. But in certain times, I get afraid of all this, about myself, - or I get afraid not of the idea but wondering if my approach is okay. I guess I hope Jesus would help me see if my approach is correct.

Edited by MarysLittleFlower
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