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Paralyzed With Fear Of Not Doing God's Will...


Annie12

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Hi Pham,

 

I haven't been on lately but I figure you all may be able to help me with a little situation I find myself in. I am trying to discern God's will about a situation (which I will not go into much detail on) but as time goes on, He seems to be giving me mixed signals. I find myself confused and too paralyzed with fear of not making the right choice to make any choice whatsoever. As I just said I will not go into much detail but I will say that this has to do with my vocation.

 

The thing that bothers me though is that in not making a choice in the matter I am choosing to do nothing by default. I am hoping someone can relate and offer their comments. Thank you! Pax!

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Hi Pham,

 

I haven't been on lately but I figure you all may be able to help me with a little situation I find myself in. I am trying to discern God's will about a situation (which I will not go into much detail on) but as time goes on, He seems to be giving me mixed signals. I find myself confused and too paralyzed with fear of not making the right choice to make any choice whatsoever. As I just said I will not go into much detail but I will say that this has to do with my vocation.

 

The thing that bothers me though is that in not making a choice in the matter I am choosing to do nothing by default. I am hoping someone can relate and offer their comments. Thank you! Pax!

 

Well, that right there is the calling card of the Evil One. If you've ever read anything by or based on St. Ignatious' rules of discernment, you will know that the soul which is trying to progress from bad to good or from good to better will not be driven towards God by fear. In that situation, Satan is the one who will use fear, and for exactly the reason you give. Satan does not care what you choose, so long as he can prevent you from hearing God and can sow fear and doubt and eventually induce you to fall.

 

This kind of paralyzing fear that prevents you from doing anything is certainly not of God. He does not send mixed signals. It is also episodic, because Satan cannot tempt you indefinitely. My advice: wait until it has passed before you consider the matter further.

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Well, that right there is the calling card of the Evil One. If you've ever read anything by or based on St. Ignatious' rules of discernment, you will know that the soul which is trying to progress from bad to good or from good to better will not be driven towards God by fear. In that situation, Satan is the one who will use fear, and for exactly the reason you give. Satan does not care what you choose, so long as he can prevent you from hearing God and can sow fear and doubt and eventually induce you to fall.

 

This kind of paralyzing fear that prevents you from doing anything is certainly not of God. He does not send mixed signals. It is also episodic, because Satan cannot tempt you indefinitely. My advice: wait until it has passed before you consider the matter further.

 

This is really good advice.  If this is purely spiritual anxiety, then it's definitely not a time to be making any decision. 

 

In the meantime, try to stick to your usual prayer routine over the next few days.  Even mix in an extra mass or a few extra minutes praying/reading in the chapel.  These are the things St Ignatius recommends to help combat that kind of desolation you are dealing with. 
 

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I recommend asking Our Lord to heal you and set you free from this fear. Have you ever read the book I Believe in Love: A Personal Retreat Based on the Teaching of St. Therese of Lisieux? That may comfort you.

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Hey Annie,

 

Our situations are different, but I can very much relate to the fear thing.  Just know you are in my prayers.  I think you (and me indirectly) have gotten some good advice here.  

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Sometimes when discerning a vocation, one fears not doing the will of God. But as Thomas Merton once prayed:  "My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

 

Some people state that they KNOW they are doing God's will with this or that. Others can't say for sure. But I do believe that if you pray and seek spiritual direction you will discern His will. In addition, because you are seeking His will, He will make your actions work to His will, no matter what you choose.

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Sometimes when discerning a vocation, one fears not doing the will of God. But as Thomas Merton once prayed:  "My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

 

Some people state that they KNOW they are doing God's will with this or that. Others can't say for sure. But I do believe that if you pray and seek spiritual direction you will discern His will. In addition, because you are seeking His will, He will make your actions work to His will, no matter what you choose.

 

I've read that quote from Thomas Merton before and I LOVE it!  Between that and Arfink's advice, I think Annie and the others (like myself) who opened this thread can find a lot of comfort in it.  Thanks guys!

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