Why Nuns Never Have A Mid-life Crisis

[DameAgnes]

A good TED talk

 

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/theanchoress/2014/08/15/can-finding-peace-and-joy-in-life-really-be-this-simple/

[krissylou]

Define "mid-life crisis."

 

Because I personally know more than one sister who seriously questioned her vocation and considered leaving the community in midlife.

 

Both of them discerned that they WERE in the right place after all, just needed start paying some more attention to other aspects of life.

 

But that sounds like a midlife crisis to me.

[maximillion]

I agree krissylou, nuns do have midlife crises.............

 

Because lots of them understand and value detachment and are not governed by their emotions probably means fewer crises, but they still happen.  

[OnlySunshine]

I've known a few Sisters who have discerned out of their community after professing perpetual vows.  However, it seems to be an exception, not the norm - at least in my experience.

 

I do know of several Sisters who you can tell are so happy they don't look their age.  I remember when I stayed with the community in 2009 and the Sister who was in charge of my formation was almost 50 but I thought she was in her early 30s.  I couldn't see her hair color but her face was definitely younger.  Same with the Novice Mistress.  She had silver hair but hardly any wrinkles.  :)

[veritasluxmea]

"Never" is a strong word, but TED talks are TED talks, and one of their goals is having a catchy title. (I've actually seen some pretty anti-Catholic stuff on there too, sadly.)

 

Actually, mid-life crises affect an extremely small part of the population, less 10 percent of males. It usually happens after a divorce or job loss. In religious life, I've heard that when you first join, you think "this is why I'm here," then in the novitiate you think "this is why I came," and around age 40 you think "this is why I stayed." So I guess it's sort of like a mid-life crises. 

[puellapaschalis]

I agree krissylou, nuns do have midlife crises.............

 

Because lots of them understand and value detachment and are not governed by their emotions probably means fewer crises, but they still happen.  

 

I think the bolded is very much true.
 

[brandelynmarie]

I love this video because even though it is for a secular audience, the speaker was very respectful towards the nuns...& it shone a whole new light on discernment for me. :nunpray:

[marigold]

"Never" is a strong word, but TED talks are TED talks, and one of their goals is having a catchy title. (I've actually seen some pretty anti-Catholic stuff on there too, sadly.)

 

Actually, mid-life crises affect an extremely small part of the population, less 10 percent of males. It usually happens after a divorce or job loss. In religious life, I've heard that when you first join, you think "this is why I'm here," then in the novitiate you think "this is why I came," and around age 40 you think "this is why I stayed." So I guess it's sort of like a mid-life crises. 

 

I've also noticed, in biographies, documentaries, in knowing nuns personally, and even in literature (In This House of Brede springs to mind) a very clear pattern of suddenly coming to a 'long view' of your religious life, like hiking up to a huge vista on a mountaintop, and seeing clearly how your life spans away in front of you. Perhaps that often comes at profession and similar milestones, but I've come across it enough times that I wonder if that isn't a 'form' of mid-life crisis. And I don't mean that with any negative connotations, because 'crisis' really just means 'turning point'.

[Gabriela]

"Never" is a strong word, but TED talks are TED talks, and one of their goals is having a catchy title. (I've actually seen some pretty anti-Catholic stuff on there too, sadly.)

 

I was at this TEDx talk at Virginia Tech when it was given, and I know the speaker. You are right: She just chose the title so as to make it catchy. The theme of the conference was "Knowing", so she emphasized that heavily. Her research on sisters is actually much, much broader than just this little angle would suggest. But this was the most widely applicable aspect of her research for a general audience, and she wanted to get across a clear message to her students. Hence the very particular spin on the subject in this talk. Her academic articles are actually TOTALLY different from this, though they draw on the same interviews she used here.
 

[SNJM]

Yes, I have to say that KrissyLou had a very good point in asking to "define mid-life crisis." I believe many religious have an experience of crisis, but how it manifests is very different from lay people, especially married lay. I also think that religious, by the virtue of their of their lives, are so connected to their communities that their struggles and personal issues are often handled "interiorly" - both physically (not announcing it to outside friends) as well as mentally/spiritually (something they would share only with their Confessor, Leadership or Spiritual Director). Some Religious keep their struggles very personal - what would a non-believer diagnosis an experience of the dark night of the soul? Look at how misunderstood Mother Teresa's challenges/experiences were ripped apart by the media after they became public. Many saints also have these had these moments, sometimes for a few months, sometimes years - I would definitely say they are a crisis, but not in the way most people think of "mid-life crisis."