The Synod And Our Approach To Gay People

[Aragon]

The controversy over the Australian couple's story about inviting a gay son and his partner to Christmas got me thinking about the best approach we should have to SSA people who aren't living in chastity. How do you/would you treat gay colleagues, family members, and friends?

Edited October 10, 2014 by Aragon

[puellapaschalis]

I've worked with a few gay colleagues (and probably more about I didn't know were homosexual), including at least two who were married to their respective partners.

 

I treated them like anyone else I worked with: as professionally as I can. People's background comes up in conversation, so within a short space of time I learnt of their orientation and living situation, just as they learnt about where I go to church and why. Because of the teamwork involved, we spent lots of time together and then you get chatting.

 

The fact of the matter is - especially in this country - is that when it comes to colleagues (who are not fresh-faced new graduates in their early 20s, big on attitude and low on nouse), you know that you're very unlikely to 'convince' someone of a position they've held for a good long time in their lives. To offer comments, especially unsolicited ones, about a colleague's home situation and his personal relationships, would be unprofessional and unworthy of me as a colleague.

 

So I undertook to be as batty as I always was; he could talk about their last holiday, and I could talk about messing up an offertory chant. I did get asked about BXVI's resignation, simply because it hit that Monday afternoon like a ton of bricks.

 

There have been times when colleagues have asked me about my opinion/the Church's teaching about homosexual partnerships, but it's usually been in a one-to-one setting and the other person has started on the topic. I've never concealed my religion, but burning crosses in front of people's offices isn't really...uh...productive.

[Not The Philosopher]

I treat them the same way I treat straight people who aren't living chastely: of course we can be friends. I'll talk about my beliefs if they come up, but our moral differences don't have to be a problem unless they're willing to make it a problem.

[Not The Philosopher]

Also, I've said it before and I'll say it again: commence Gay Drama Thread in 3...2...

[superblue]

hoepfully it wont become a " gay drama " thread, i look at the topic as a non issue, " the Church "  doesnt have an "issue" with homosexuals,  now if homosexuals feel they are being ostracized or shunned or belittled by Catholics, or do not feel like they could approach a person who is Catholic and have a discussion with that person without being told they are " living in sin " or are " going to hell ", then that should be an issue to discuss or better yet correct those who foolishly take that route in a discussion with someone who is homosexual.

 

 

Having friendships with homosexuals, could be problematic,  emphasis on Could,  i don't think anyone can say socializing is a wrong thing, but an actual friendship could lead to a circumstance where that homosexual friend wants their heterosexual Catholic friend to be supportive and show up to said homosexual union , or attend one, now that being said, i don't think a real friendship would be a problem if there is an understanding between the two on where they stand on such things.

[CatherineM]

I treat them with equal human dignity.

[PhuturePriest]

One of my best friends is a gay Wiccan Hindu. We get along great.

[Norseman82]

I would do the bare minimum for those I must interact with (such as a co-worker) but I would refuse to recognize their "partner" (beyond the bare minimum of civility) because doing so may give the appearance of approval, which must be avoided according to our faith (see the CCC's section regarding participation in the sins of others).  That is how I treat my cousin's daughter and her "partner".

[Winchester]

Flank them on their weak side. They are vicious fighters. Taking one head on is asking for swift destruction from a flurry of punches.

[Aragon]

Flank them on their weak side. They are vicious fighters. Taking one head on is asking for swift destruction from a flurry of punches.

 

This is by far my favourite post on phatmass so far.

[John Ryan]

I am perfectly fine with homosexuality, so I do not treat gay or lesbian persons any differently than I do heterosexual peoples.

[PhuturePriest]

I am perfectly fine with homosexuality, so I do not treat gay or lesbian persons any differently than I do heterosexual peoples.

 

I'm perfectly fine with homosexuals, and don't treat them any differently than I would the rest of us sinners. Sinning in a different way than the rest of us doesn't mean you get worse treatment.

 

Unless you're a murderer. Then I'll treat you differently.

Edited October 11, 2014 by FuturePacker

[Basilisa Marie]

I think it's a lot easier in professional situations. You're forced to be around each other because you have a necessary task to complete.  

 

Families are tougher, especially when you're trying to raise children in the faith. I don't think there's a hard and fast answer to how you'd address it in that situation, because each family is different. Do we treat heterosexuals who are having unmarried sex differently? Or couples who contracept? It's not the same, but it's a relevant question. 

[Gabriela]

I have quite a few close gay friends and I will admit it can be hard at times. I'm not always sure where the line is between being a good friend who wants them to find happiness and "participating in"/encouraging their sin. Should I not ask about their partners? Should I not ask if they've met anyone new? Should I not commiserate with them when they've had their hearts broken or been mistreated by a lover? Should I not laugh when they make humorous innuendos or jokes about other men's bodies/performance/etc.?

 

I also always worry that they'll ask me what I think of homosexuality outright. They know I'm a devout Catholic, so I should think it's obvious. But I'm also close with them, so maybe they think I'm "one of those tolerant Catholics". I've already lost one good friend to the "So, what do you really think of homosexuality?" conversation, and I wouldn't like to have it happen again. Of course, if it did, it wouldn't be because of MY intolerance, but theirs. That's not much consolation for a lost friend, though, and I really shouldn't like it to come to that.

[PhuturePriest]

I think it's a lot easier in professional situations. You're forced to be around each other because you have a necessary task to complete.  

 

Families are tougher, especially when you're trying to raise children in the faith. I don't think there's a hard and fast answer to how you'd address it in that situation, because each family is different. Do we treat heterosexuals who are having unmarried sex differently? Or couples who contracept? It's not the same, but it's a relevant question. 

 

I think (And as we know, all of my best posts begin with those two frightening words) this is a very valid point. It seems that we focus so much on abortion and homosexual marriage (and we rightly put much emphasis on it) that sometimes we forget contraception and premarital sex are also mortal sins and will lead someone to hell. We tell our children about estranged Uncle Ted and his gay lover Tom and why the lives they lead are sinful, but we rarely mention Aunt Trista and Uncle Joe and why their use of contraception is morally disordered and mortally sinful.