I Made It 3 Weeks

[MIKolbe]

how was the food?

[KnightofChrist]

DANG

 

I'm so sorry you had to go through that but I am very glad and most happy that you are alive and well!!! Deo Gratias.

 

 

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

wow, Lilllabettt!!!!  praying for you and I second what the others have said.  Don't feel like a failure at all.  Get out and we're glad you will be out of there!  :hug:

 

Lillibett:

 

After I read your post yesterday, I tried to think of something wise to say, and failed. You are so much braver than I am, and I am in awe. I have learned much too late in my life that sometimes the bravest thing to do is not to "stick it out at all costs," but to be honest about your values and limits, and move on.

 

I wish I was very rich, so that I could bundle you in a cozy blanket and fly you home in my private jet.

 

I also wanted to give you a big hug. My posts have been sparse of late, so I don't know if it is obvious that I am not much of an online hugger. Online hugging happens so often that it often feels false to me.

 

However, an online hug from AnneLine is not false. And, her post echoes my feelings. (Although, in my usual fashion, I have used twice as many words as AnneLine used just to say, "Yeah, what AnneLine said.")

[Lilllabettt]

Glad you're okay. Missionary work is full of idealists who want to do good work and people who have burned their bridges everywhere else. You wouldn't believe how many people get assaulted in the Peace Corps.

This is going to sound bizarre, but play Tetris. Research has shown that playing Tetris after a trauma helps prevent PTSD from setting in.

 

 

thanks for the advice. everything is fine so far, except that I can't stay asleep longer than an hour or so, I keep startling awake. Its only been about a week so hopefully that will pass.

 

I found out today that my replacement will be a buddy recommended by the psycho principal. So that fills me with incandescent rage.

 

The food was simply awesome. The khmai people are warm, generous, and lovely without exception as far as my experience goes (the psycho principal is american and most of the higher up coworkers are expats from the english speaking world). I had plenty of fresh native food made by a wonderful friend of mine in her scrap metal apartment at the tippy top of a teetering building in phnom penh. It was MARVELOUS and she had me over for supper pretty much every day.  She magically made pure deliciousness from a pot, some rice, and whatever was at the bottom of that bucket under the sink. One day I will tell phatmass more about her because she is one amazing chick.

 

I highly recommend Cambodia to the seasoned traveler. You have to brace yourself for certain things but its a place like nowhere else. 

[Lilllabettt]

Lillibett:

 

After I read your post yesterday, I tried to think of something wise to say, and failed. You are so much braver than I am, and I am in awe. I have learned much too late in my life that sometimes the bravest thing to do is not to "stick it out at all costs," but to be honest about your values and limits, and move on.

 

I wish I was very rich, so that I could bundle you in a cozy blanket and fly you home in my private jet.

 

I also wanted to give you a big hug. My posts have been sparse of late, so I don't know if it is obvious that I am not much of an online hugger. Online hugging happens so often that it often feels false to me.

 

However, an online hug from AnneLine is not false. And, her post echoes my feelings. (Although, in my usual fashion, I have used twice as many words as AnneLine used just to say, "Yeah, what AnneLine said.")

 

 

I heart you Iggy. whenever you post it brightens my day.

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

I heart you Iggy. whenever you post it brightens my day.

 

:cry4:  :love:

[Lilllabettt]

 

I found out today that my replacement will be a buddy recommended by the psycho principal. So that fills me with incandescent rage.

 

 

 

 

I would like to clarify that I mean my replacement is a buddy of the psycho principal, recommended by the psycho principal. Not my buddy.

basically confirming to me that the NGO is not taking my concerns seriously and are poo-pooing my experience. 

unhappy. 

[Nihil Obstat]

Lilll!ll!abetTttt, would you say that the incident as a whole is something that will ultimately make you stronger, in that you've experienced and survived a major sort of 'worst-case scenario'?

[Lilllabettt]

Lilll!ll!abetTttt, would you say that the incident as a whole is something that will ultimately make you stronger, in that you've experienced and survived a major sort of 'worst-case scenario'?

 

 

I would not call it a "major" sort of "worst-case" scenario. Maybe I would call it that if he'd actually made it past the bathroom door. As it is I can tell myself he is the lucky one, since if he broke through I was prepared to fracture his larynx and kick his head in mossad style.

 

I would say that it has expanded the range of events I feel prepared to handle, so in that way it has made, or will make me, stronger. Basically, I choose to frame this as: "I win again. Can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man. suk it, losers." One of my goals for this adventure and for my life in general is to finish with a lot of "stories to tell." Getting into trouble and narrowly escaping seems to fit the bill. So in that respect I consider it a success as well.

Edited October 25, 2014 by Lilllabettt

[SilentJoy]

I would not call it a "major" sort of "worst-case" scenario. Maybe I would call it that if he'd actually made it past the bathroom door. As it is I can tell myself he is the lucky one, since if he broke through I was prepared to fracture his larynx and kick his head in mossad style.

 

I would say that it has expanded the range of events I feel prepared to handle, so in that way it has made, or will make me, stronger. Basically, I choose to frame this as: "I win again. Can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man. suk it, losers." One of my goals for this adventure and for my life in general is to finish with a lot of "stories to tell." Getting into trouble and narrowly escaping seems to fit the bill. So in that respect I consider it a success as well.

Yeah, well, I already knew you were awesomesauce, no need to go on and on about it... :smile4:

 

[brandelynmarie]

:o


Deo Gratias you are ok!

[CatherineM]

A lot of those NGOs overseas harbour some scary folks. The swirly face pedophile from Canada was teaching in Cambodia when caught.

[TheresaThoma]

I would second writing a letter or something to the higher ups. Even if it goes absolutely no where it still was documented that this behavior is on going. I believe that there are also places that "rate" different charities/missionary groups. I would also mention this experience to them plus whomever you learned about this group from. 

After that I suggest making yourself a nice cup of tea and focusing on what you are going to do next (which I am sure is something awesome!)

[4588686]

Write letters to the donors and the Foundations that give this NGO money.  

[Gabriela]

if he broke through I was prepared to fracture his larynx and kick his head in mossad style.

 

"I win again. Can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man. suk it, losers."

 

Good for you. That's what I'd recommend!

 

I am very glad you're home safe. Maybe, when you feel ready, you should take this story to the Moth.